Memories Are To Be Treasured...

To be brutally honest. I have always been mediocre. Just mediocre. In every single thing that I do. Studies. Friendships. Relationships. Music. Cooking. And, dang it, photography too. I have never been outstanding. And, I believe, never will I be outstanding in any way. Mediocrity seems to be the fabric of my life...

Fall Break is here. Someone said we're one of the few pharmacy schools that have Fall Break for their students - which is a really nice thing to have considering the heavy workload we get to "enjoy" right away from the beginning of the semester. However much I look forward to the much needed break, I feel like I don't deserve the break at all since I did not do well for 3 out of the 4 exams earlier this week. I just couldn't manage all that studying in such a short amount of time. I know, I could have started the studying earlier, but the assignments and projects were just unbelievably time-consuming last week! Especially with my video project group, we decided to shoot our video and edit them just the week before this. So then, I finished my Biochemistry exam this morning, terribly, since I only managed to study up to half of the material tested. Then, I had to rush to my first ever health fair, which is almost half an hour away. Arrived all frazzled and not kn...

Let's talk about some finance issue now. I've just received letters from TCF bank that I owe them $296! My eyes totally bulged like what you would see in cartoons @.@ Since when I owe the bank any money when I've just deposited enough money to cover? Upon further investigation, it appears that I've written one too many checks and the bank "helped" me pay for the last check before my balance turned negative. After the balance is negative, they started charging $28 per day for the overdraft fees, up till today even. The letters came a bit too late, didn't they? I remembered having set up overdraft protection when I signed up for the account in school, so I was really, really confused by this situation. So I called up Customer Service today and haggled about the fees that I "owe" them now. Well, apparently I did sign up for the overdraft protection - but only for my check card, not my checks...What the heck? I wasn't explained the difference...

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 4 years and 12 months ago, on October 15, 2006. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org Dear FutureMe, A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered. Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible. Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself." The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard ever...

I have to confess - I think I am developing a chemical dependency for caffeine. Recently, I have not been able to concentrate in the morning classes, even after having had a good night's sleep. I don't even have to mention the horrible afternoon hours... Since I did not use to drink coffee unless I really needed the caffeine, this situation has become quite torturous. The mornings that I drank coffee (which is more often than not for the past month), I will be bright and sunny and happy when I go to classes and mingle with classmates. On the other hand, the mornings that I think I did not need the caffeine, I will be so tired and moody and unsociable when I am in school. This two very different personalities are making me look like someone with split personalities! How can I stop depending on caffeine consumption when I know I definitely need to keep awake for the entire day? Not having enough sleep all the time isn't helping either...Aarrghhh...I really, really do well...

Extremely under pressure right now. Deactivated fb not because of any reasons from previous post, but rather because of the 4 exams coming all next week - 3 on Monday and 1 on Wednesday. Not ready for Physiology yet. Not ready for Drug Delivery yet, I don't even understand the phase and solubility diagram?? Not ready for Pharmaceutical Care Skills yet. Not ready for Biochemistry yet, how many mechanisms do we have to know again? o.O Oh right, and then there's the ANS case study due tomorrow - haven't done a thing yet. And the pharm care patient interview pre-lab read up for tomorrow - not ready to interview a patient yet??  2 health fairs next week - on Wednesday and Saturday - who asked me to sign up for so many at once? Now I can't even perform the bone density check at the health fair because I can't attend training for that due to exams on Monday... Things are going out of control here...my spell of dizziness is returning again...can't concentra...

After more than half a year of absence here, I am trying to make a come back to my very own space on the net. Weird feeling to feel not welcomed back here.... Well, actually there has been many weird emotions and feelings swimming inside me recently. I feel like people have been thinking bad things about me. I feel like people don't like me. I feel like a show-off whenever I post things on fb. I feel like I'm being judged by others all the time. I feel like I'm judging everyone when I think of the previous. I feel like an outcast. I feel like nobody cares anymore. I feel like I'm being punished for something I did not do. I feel like the stupidest person in class. I feel wronged all the time. I feel like it's a blasphemy for me to even say anything on fb. I feel like there is definitely something wrong with me. I think people are thinking of me as arrogant. I feel like I'm being induced to feel that I'm arrogant. I feel like it's time to shut down fb...

I have to confess (again).  I have this absolutely despicable, totally rude, and wholly loathsome habit that I'd really like to get rid of, but am still finding myself repeating it over and over again. That is, not immediately replying to emails, messages, texts, and whatever other forms of communication one can think of.  As of now, I have ten unreplied emails from friends in my hotmail and gmail inboxes, eight unreplied facebook messages, four unreplied text messages, and three unreplied voicemail messages from missed calls. I'm too ashamed to announce how long have I left them untouched for but some emails have definitely been lying around for MONTHS. When it comes to the point that I'd really like to reply, things have become too awkward, and I end up not responding at all. I do hope sometimes that people would understand why do I seem unresponsive to their attempts at keeping in touch, though I certainly won't blame them if they can't. Hopefully, in this ne...

To tell the truth, Chinese New Year is more significant to me than the New Year that all of us have recently counted down to. This year will be my 5th Chinese New Year away from family and friends, away from the home of my heart. How I miss all the traditional festivities and the culturally unique ways of Malaysians and Singaporeans in celebrating the Chinese New Year. There are so many things, the big and small rituals alike, that I missed going through during this season. However, there is one thing that I've been craving for too long - Pineapple Tarts - that I could no longer resist NOT making this year. Pineapple from Panama Thus, I embarked on a frantic search for tried and tested AND voted recipes for the traditional Malaysian-style Pineapple Tarts, which are somewhat different from those of Taiwanese origins. Luckily for me, there are predecessors of overseas Malaysians who also craved for the same melt-in-the-mouth-type Pineapple Tarts who shared their recipes on the ...

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back 1. Time 2. Words 3. Opportunity Three things in life that can destroy a person 1. Anger 2. Pride 3. Unforgiveness Three things in life that you should never lose 1. Hope 2. Peace 3. Honesty Three things in life that are most valuable 1. Love 2. Family & Friends 3. Kindness Three things in life that are never certain 1. Fortune 2. Success 3. Dreams Three things that make a person 1. Commitment 2. Sincerity 3. Hard work Three things that are truly constant 1. Father 2. Son 3. Holy Spirit I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today, to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way. God's love is always with you. God's promises are true. And when you give God all your cares, you know God will see you through.  Please pass this along to all the people you want God to bless this year including me. I just did. I am what I am by His grace. Congratulations! We are one people!

Two things. 1) I'm getting heavier and heavier, to the point that a muffin top is beginning to spill out of my pants. 2) Next week is a mad, mad, mad busy week with crazy schedule for me. One thing. How can one refuse those fresh blueberries sold oh so very cheaply when they are in-season now? Mom couldn't. So she bought a large box back from the grocer's and thus determined my baking project(s) of the week - Lemon Blueberry Bread and Blueberry Muffins . Fresh blueberries - I could just pop the entire bowl of berries into my mouth if these were not for baking. Originally, I had only wanted to concentrate on the bread because of the above Two Things mentioned. However, due to mom's insistence on using up all the fresh berries, I had to accommodate the muffins into my prime baking time, which magically demonstrated itself to be on Sundays between 4-6pm :p Lemon Blueberry Bread - I absolutely adore the lemon glaze adorning the top. Blueberry muffins...

The New Year of 2011 kicked off by counting down at Times Square with Zhiwei who was visiting New York for 8 days during the holiday season. New Year Snowmen sprung up in Central Park after the great NYC blizzard of 2010 The exquisitely delicious Eileen's cheesecake seemed to be the perfect stop, even for a short-term visitor. I have to credit a friend for bringing me to this famous bakery (though I have forgotten whether it was siewlee or xianan who brought me there). I'm just glad my dear concubine Zhiwei enjoyed the cheesecake :) Eileen's Cheesecake brought us all together The weekend after Zhiwei left, I started my first baking project of the year - Coconut Macaroons. It was inspired by the French macaroons that she bought at Soho area, and they tasted so good! Browsing around joyofbaking.com, I noticed that there is a recipe for the American macaroon, so I decided to try it out. They didn't turn out too bad, just a little overbaked :) I'll definit...