Jogging, Day 2

Today's jogging attempt actually went better than I expected. Now that my legs have figured out what they are supposed to do, we have moved to the stage where they protest as we jog down hills and on some flat parts.

Jogging, Day 1

Today I went jogging for the first time in about 13 years. It's not that I don't like exercise but, well, I don't, really. I do it anyway, but I prefer tap dancing to jogging.

Nevertheless, off we went. Zeke rode in the BOB, Victor rode his bike, and I jogged down gentle slopes and walked everywhere else.

It didn't go very well. It was kind of like I had asked my arms to fly. My legs didn't burn or seize up or shake. They just didn't run.

Except down gentle slopes.

P.U.

Two smells that do NOT mix:

L'Oreal Kids Orange Mango Smoothie Shampoo

and

Old Spice High Endurance Body Wash in Fresh scent

If you have both of these items (or similar), do NOT mix them in the kids' bath or you will have very clean children who smell terrible.

New and Exciting

Today we listened to a free Disney CD while we ran errands. After being regaled by numerous animated characters to seek adventure and pursue our dreams, we decided to shake things up.

So we went past The Home Depot and shopped at Lowe's instead.

Unfortunately, it was just like The Home Depot.

So much for just around the river bend.

Stupid Pocahontas.

Victor's Recipe Idea

Today is my sister Liz's birthday.

Happy Birthday, Liz!

So we called her on the webcam to watch her open her present. At some point, Victor explained to her (and to Alex, who was also there) that tonight he wanted chocolate carrots as a treat.

"You put jelly and chocolate and carrots together and put them in the oven. Then it gets real flat and about this (gesturing about eight inches) long."

I can usually figure out where his ideas come from, but this one has me stumped unless he's simply combining two of his favorite snacks with jelly.

Rookie Mistake

Today I made a rookie mistake at the pool.

I put sunscreen on Zeke's face and shoulders and then put my hat on.

That's it.

I didn't sunscreen the rest of me or Victor at all.

Fortunately, Victor was already very brown.

This Morning's Interjections

Me: "Victor, please don't grab my arm while I'm pouring the milk."

Victor: "Boing Boing"

----------------

Me: "Victor, please get dressed."

Victor: "CHICKEN!"

Nuts

Another way to express anger or frustration or to create a diversion is to exclaim, "Broken Nuts!"

Color Photos

Did you ever see the Calvin and Hobbes when Calvin's dad tells him that old photos are in black and white because the world used to be in black and white?

Well, here are some color photos from the Great Depression.

It's so cool to see a black-and-white era in color.

Distracting Outburst

Often, when Victor is receiving unwanted instruction, he'll burst out with a distracting interjection.

For example, today I was asking him not to yank on my arm while I was trying to hold a book we were reading.

"STINKY NUTS AND POOP!" he burst out.

What??

Apparently Zeke got it because he started cackling and yelling "POOP!"

[More boy laughter.]

[No mom laughter.]

1:30 Church, Week 2

Today we experienced the downside of 1:30 church: our building is an inferno.

Still, the heat was far outweighed by the other benefits.

Brave Mom

Even though I'm fun now, I don't really care for activities that involve being hot or in a crowd, which is why I felt very brave as we drove to our local shopping center this morning to purchase shoes for Victor during the tax-free weekend.

It was kind of like exercise at the gym, and I should have worn my sneakers.

Victor didn't really understand the "walk for me" part of shoe shopping, so instead of just walking six feet and then walking back, he half-danced, half-shuffled, making it impossible to determine if the shoes were slipping on his heels. This left him as the sole arbiter of whether the shoes fit. In the end, he declared that all of the shoes except the size 13.5 light-up Sketchers were simultaneously too tight and too big. So now I'm a mom who buys trendy shoes for her preschooler.

Then we went to buy some jeans. This led to our first encounter with a dressing room, and it was an unmitigated disaster. Wait! It was not an unmitigated disaster because somehow several pairs of jeans were tried. Since some were discarded and some selected based on fit, I'll just call it a tearful and sweaty experience.

Other highlights of the trip included testing the light-up sneakers in a bathroom, crying under a clothes rack, banging an elbow, and apologizing to a very understanding lady.

Zeke quietly enjoyed the shopping trip from the Maclaren.

Approval Rating Survey

I love surveys. Jeremy is very kind and passes the phone to me whenever someone calls with a survey. I felt like part of the ruling elite when I got to participate in Nielsen's May sweeps survey.

Yesterday I got the jackpot political survey: Obama's approval rating measured by likely voters and which candidates I would select for US House and Senate if the election were held tomorrow. I also got to rate how important various issues are to me and how likely they would be to influence my voting in November.

Of course, it's possible that the survey was really measuring how people selected numbers when asked to rate things on a scale from 1 to 100. But I sure hope not.

A Triumph

For at least the last year I have been teaching Zeke how to ask politely for things at the table.

Despite my best and most consistent efforts, we were still having this conversation every meal at the table.

Zeke: Milk. Milk! MILK, MOMMY, MILK!!!

Me: How do you ask nicely?

Zeke: Please?

Me: Zeke, say, "Mom,"

Zeke: Mom

Me: "May I"

Zeke: May I

Me: "Please have"

Zeke: Please have

Me: "Some milk."

Zeke: Some milk.

Me: Yes, you may.

Yesterday, however, after having the above conversation one time at dinner, we had the following, triumphant exchange.

Zeke: Chicken. More chicken! MORE CHICKEN!!!

Me: Zeke, how do you ask nicely?

Zeke thinks for a while. Then, as the Brazilians say, "a ficha caiu."

Zeke, with a smile: Mom, may I please have some more chicken?

Me, with a big smile: Yes, yes you may certainly have more chicken you sweet, sweet boy who knows how to ask nicely for more at the table!!!

Like I said, a triumph! And it only took a year.

1:30 Church, Week 1

As predicted, based on my survey of one other person, Jeremy and I are in the minority of our co-congregants as regarding our opinion of 1:30 church.

We like it.

1. Jeremy does not have to leave for a meeting before the rest of us even get up.

2. I do not have to get the kids up, fed, dressed, and in the car by 8 a.m., the time we usually rise in the morning.

3. We have a whole morning of family time when everyone is well rested instead of aching for a post-church nap.

4. We don't have to bring any food to church because everyone has eaten. (As a cancer patient, I excused myself from the No Food in Sacrament Meeting rule this year.)

5. We can play games until late on Saturday night.

6. We can eat bacon on Sunday morning.