Saturday, February 01, 2014 ; 11:34 PMY
Cherish every single day !
Disappointment
Its been a while since my last post. Why I started writing again?
Well, I realized writing it here is a better way than friends or even worse fb status to show my unhappiness, anger, depress, disappointment towards my r/s.
We have been together for 4 years plus now.
Speaking of which, I cant believe what I heard from his mouth.
"I dont like to follow gf to go 'bai nian'."
How's this topic start?
I told him about my mum's elder brother's wife always asked his whereabouts, every year without fail.
So this year, I wanted him to go with me and my parents. He rejected me.
For the past few years we have been together, he had never once visited my aunt. Few years ago during the CNY period, he was occupied with work. Needless to say, I would answered my aunt that he was busy working. He had to work during CNY period. Which is true.
Before CNY, we were so excited and anticipating for the CNY to arrive because we could go 'bai nian' together. We could spend more time together. This year is the first year which he is available due to change of job. However, I was utterly wrong. I didn't know my boy was against visiting my relatives. My aunt was staying at Jurong area. He explained to me that its a distance issue and we are not "married". What if we break up?
Was he lacking in confidence towards our r/s? Well, perhaps? maybe? probably? To me, he was conveying that message to me. Honestly speaking, I'm not confident in our r/s either. We quarreled over a small issues. Commonly happens are due to 'attitudes'.
I have seen so many couples are going out to visit each side's relatives. Why he is different? Why? What for we were so excited about CNY? What's the point? How I wish he could go with me. When comes to his relatives side, I asked "when are you bringing me to visit your relatives and your godmother"? I always asked him every year and never failed to do that. And now, why would I do that since we are not even "married"? Why should I go to that extent for? Is it worth it?
Maybe we should think about our r/s once again. This mindset isnt our first time. We are aware of our unstable r/s. Just that both of us unwilling to admit the truth we are actually unstable. We are avoiding. Perhaps is not "we". Its "me". Are we holding on to this unstable r/s for years, and dragging it until both of us have lost the feeling of love for each other?
Perhaps someday.....
