Not quite back in the saddle...

I'm feeling much, much better. Milo is feeling better. Everything is, well...better. Not fantastic, but better. My mind was ripped away from writing anything for so long that it's difficult to regain focus. I have a bunch of stuff I want to write about, but for some reason, the words won't go together just now.

It's funny, some people write to heal, but when you're in the midst of a crisis, there's almost NO WAY to write. At least, that's what I found. Tunnel vision sets in, and all you can really do is focus on one thing at a time. With Milo, there was a fair amount of waiting, worrying and grieving going on. My energy is still sort of low after all of that, but I think that, like Milo, I'm recovering.

He's actually doing very well. His coat is nice, his eyes are clear again, his energy is back up, and he's regaining his appetite. I feel a little silly posting all of this about a dog, but, well, what can I say, I'm attached to him!!

More stuff later. Thanks for the good thoughts, everyone.

Thanks

Thanks to everyone for your support and your kind words. I feel like I need them now. I had a freakout this morning, simply because the stress and anxiety seems most acute then--wake up from a dead sleep, and the reality of the situation is there. The sleep is marginal, at best. I wake up and feel for Milo...check to feel his warmth, to hear his breathing, to know that he's okay. I feel better knowing that there are those who are thinking warm thoughts for Milo.

Tomorrow, Milo's doctor will have the results of a biopsy that he performed on Tuesday. Hopefully, the biopsy will give us an indicator of Milo's condition, and where we can expect to go from here. I think part of the whole freakout for me is not knowing just what is going on, and having to give up a certain amount of my control-freakishness. A preliminary diagnosis is kidney cancer. The doc said he's 90% certain. I wish I could do something--cast a spell--and make Milo better, but I can't. All I can do is what I can do. And one of the things I'm more than capable of doing, is thanking everyone who is thinking of Milo and wishing him well.

Thanks.