It's been a stressful last few months. We've had interesting things going on in the family. I think that everyone of the kids has had some issues that I never thought I would have to deal with or had any idea what to do about them.During this same time, we've also redone our kitchen; this forced me to eat many meals in the garage. I'm sure it was good for me. It reminds me of the talk that called "The Current Bush" when the Lord decides the time has come for an extreme makeover.
Some months ago I was thinking about the family and thought to myself, "Wow, what lucky person I am. Our family is doing well, everything in my life is going well; what more could I as for?" I think the Lord thought, "Steve, there are some thinks that you need to learn and now is a good teaching moment." I was satisfied with the way things were, but the Lord had a different idea. It was sort of like the kitchen. Everything was fine with it before we started, but someone else thought differently.
From that point, the Lord started the demolition job.
Thing after thing just kept happening. I couldn't believe so may problems could arise in such a short time. You all know about them so I don't need to go into them.I felt that the Lord was tearing me down. Boy did the demolition hurt. It seemed that when I thought nothing else could happen, something else did.
It reminded me of playing racquetball. There is a fellow that, if he gets a little mad because of something I've done, he keeps hitting shot after shot to me. Boy those shots come at you fast. When he does this, I keep asking him, "
Have I learned the lesson yet I was supposed to learn?" After a while he will let me know that I've learned it. It is nice to have over.I got to this point with the Lord, asking him, "Have I learned what I am suppose to learn? I'm a fast learner and I think I should be done" The last time I asked, He responded, "No, there is more to learn."
The final thing, I hope, happened this last week. I got an e-mail from a member of the group that I work with. He told me that he was having problems because I wasn't keep confidences spoken in the group. The rule in the group states that what is said in group is kept in the group. I couldn't believe he would say I had broken confidences. I wrote him back and told him that I had kept the confidences, but that if he didn't believe it, I felt
I would have to step down from the group. If he thought I couldn't be trusted, what good was I in the group. He wouldn't be able to say what they wanted to in the group meetings because he might think that I would pass it on to someone else. I really had a lousy couple of days. I worried a lot about this. I talked with the man over the group and told him what happened and wondered if I needed to step down. There wasn't much he could say other than telling me to let him know if things didn't work out. This was one of the low points for me during this time.A couple of days later I received another e-mail from this person telling me that he had discovered that I wasn't the problem and he was sorry for accusing me. That makes me feel a lot better.
Well, I think the Lord has decided that I am done with this particular learning experience. The reconstruction has begun. I'm excited to see the new me, the me with these experiences incorporated into my life. I'm sure I'll be a better person, but dang, the demolition and reconstruction hurt. It has humbled me and taught me so much. I hope I can learn from what has happened and be able to a better better father and a better instrument in Heavenly Father's hands.
I love you all and pray that the Lord will be with you.
