Little Debbie...

...why do you call to me?

So, on a night like this one, when I feel depressed about feeling FAT and HUGE from pregnancy and from gaining too much weight too fast (and because I can't fit into anything) why is my first reaction to reach into the pantry and stuff three Little Debbies into my face?

Seriously, you'd think my natural reaction would be to pop in a workout dvd and walk off some of these dang fat rolls. No, instead I feed the insanity.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

P.S. Please no comments about how I'm not fat or whatever. That's not my point. I don't want compliments, really. The point is that I feel fat and huge because this is the fattest I've ever been in my life and I hate how it feels. After this next baby I am swearing to myself to lose all the weight (and the weight that I didn't lose after #2). Sheesh!

P.S.S. I think I may have actually just talked myself into a workout. This wasn't all bad, I suppose...

The End.

Phone Phobia (and the front door, too).

So, anyone who knows me well at all knows that:

1. I HATE the phone. And I usually don't answer it. Barry and I always do a cheer when we get home and find that there are no messages on the voice mail. Now, it's one thing to get a message from my Mom & Dad saying hi or my grandparents checking in. I'm talking about messages from someone wanting you to call them back because they have a question about something. If you have a question, just let me know what it is in the voice mail so I don't put off calling you for five days (or more) because I am worried to death about what the dreaded question may be.

2. If you stop by my house and don't call me before hand to tell me you are coming, then there is a 99% chance that I will not answer the door! It's complicated. I have no peep hole in my door (I need a peep hole!). I do have a window next to the door but I like to keep it covered so that strange people standing on my doorstep can't look directly into my house. It creeps me out and irritates me. That means that I have no view of who's out there. It could be any crazy person! Or more likely someone just wanting to sell me something. We get those people in our neighborhood a lot and it's about driven me to the point of putting up a "No Soliciting" sign. Is that rude? Even if it is, I don't care. I think I am going to do it anyway. Seriously, this random guy came to our door earlier in the week. Barry answered it for some reason. He went into this long story about something or other. In the end he just wanted us to buy a magazine or something "for the children!" so that he could win a trip to Australia. I mean, come on! If I'm going to send anyone to Australia it's going to be my family or at least someone I know. Not some random guy who has come to bug us for money. No way. So, anyway, if you need to see me just give me a call (or TEXT if you're a Verizon customer...boy do I love texting) beforehand and let me know you're heading over. Then I'll probably answer the door. I'm just saying.=)

ANYWAY, if you'd like to understand further my strange (but not altogether uncommon, as I am beginning to learn) abhorrence of the phone, then please read the beginning of this post by The Pioneer Woman. It more fully describes my feelings. Apparently she and I agree on this topic. =)

Gift

(Evelyn in the fort I built for her and Alton a few weeks ago.)

So for some reason I've been feeling a little blue. Maybe just from being so sick last weekend and being left completely exhausted (doesn't help that I can't sleep either). So, especially in the evening time when it's dark outside I just have been feeling sad and don't really know what to do with myself. It reminds me, on a much lesser level, of the awful, dark post-partum depression I suffered after Alton was born. When Barry would leave to go back to school I would just cry and cry for hours and feel so lost.

Last night when Barry was ready for bed I was very tired, but not super anxious to get in bed because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. As I was trying to figure out what I would do with myself, I decided to go check on the kids like I do most nights. I slipped into Alton's room to find him totally out, as usual. All snug and cozy under the blankets.

Then I sneaked into Evelyn's room. But, she wasn't asleep. In fact, she was wide awake. Normally this would not be a happy thing for me. But, last night I couldn't have been more glad! She was just what I wanted and needed to give me some purpose. I scooped her up and held her in the rocking chair for close to an hour. We giggled and whispered to each other. We got up for a few trips to the kitchen for a drink. But mostly I just held her and told her that she is my princess and that I love her more than any other little girl in the world. She would grin from ear to ear and say "Oh yeah!" in her sweet little voice.

I'm so glad Heavenly Father has given me children.

(They're having a "picnic" dinner in the living room while watching a movie. This is our new Wednesday evening tradition while Barry is at Scouts. We all love it, although, we wish that Daddy could be there, too.)

A Wonderful Movie

I just watched this last night because I can't sleep anymore for some reason. I LOVED IT! It is the love story of John Keats and Fanny Brawne. It is sweet, very romantic, CLEAN (yay!), beautiful, sad, and did I mention romantic? It is one of my new favorites. Go watch it! Oh my goodness, I don't think you'll be disappointed. (I wish I owned it so I could loan it to you, but I don't. I got it through Netflix.)

Preschool

I love it when it's my turn to teach preschool. I adore the kids and always have so much fun playing right along with them. Today I put in a Tchaikovsky CD and let the kids "ice skate" with paper plates along the carpet and in the kitchen. The girls started dancing with each other, holding hands. Alton, with his male partner in crime home with a cold, was left without a partner. I eagerly jumped in and asked if he'd dance with me. We had so much fun.

Anyway, after preschool was over I asked him what his favorite part of preschool was. Just like I always do. Normally he won't give me an answer. He just says he doesn't remember. Well, today he said that his favorite part was "dancing with you, Mommy." How awesome is that? He made my day.

Guitar

Alton has apparently taken a new liking to hiding clothing items in Barry's guitar. A few days ago it was a sock. Today it was underwear.

Isn't there someone in town who'd like to bring dinners to my house for the next week or two? After being gone so much and having a ton of catch up to do, I just don't feel like meal planning or cooking. Can you blame me? =)