I was thinking about how many women I know who decided not to wait for some guy to show up, and just took the bull by the horns and started their families on their own.
I live in a pretty small world, and the number of these incredible women is significant.
So, this makes me wonder, what are all the guys doing?
The birth rate is about 50-50 male-female, so we know that this isn't the result of there being more women than men (as my mormon relative was explaining as the justification for polygamy...straight-faced too). And the rate of homosexuality is similarly about equal. So, what's up?
I don't think I know many single guys in there 30s and 40s. In fact, I can't think of a one right now.
Where are these guys? What are they doing? Think they are going to end up 50 and wishing they had done things differently?
Nah...I don't think men have regrets like that. They can always pick up a young chick and have kids. It's different for us.
ReplyDeleteInteresting question..... I have no answers. Although I do wonder if this has something to do with how easy it is for single women to get their hands on donor sperm (assuming no IF issues). A man would need a donor egg and a surogate (and a ton of money).
ReplyDeleteActually, I know single guys in their 30s and 40s. Drifters would be a kind way to describe them, actually!
ReplyDeleteBut I think cgd is on to something ... it's probably (oddly) easier for a female to do this, because of stereotypes about ability of women to raise a child/be a nurterer, and biological ability of women to procreate ...
Good question! I do think there are men who reach a concerned point, usually just a few years later. my housemate for instance, who is 47, is focused on finding someone because he really wants a child and he ends things with women if he finds out they don't want one. I also have heard of men adopting on their own or hiring a surrogate (I live in the Bay Area where stereotypes do tend to be less strict) but it seems uncommon at this point. From my observation, there ARE men showing up on dating sites and events and all that who do seem to want to meet someone, but if they want a family, even if they are 40+, many seem to focus on late 20's/30's women. The cool men are more open though. :)
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