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Friday, July 28, 2006 @ 9:37 AM
i flirt? i flirt. so i flirt. or so i flirt? fine i never did see the signs, and there is no point arguing for my defence now since it's too late for that. now i can only 'reassess' (this word has been appearing lots lately) my situation and make some tweaks here and there. it's time to go back to my roots. first of all, what is flirt? up to now not even god (i'm referring to sq) has a definition for it, what more can i do then? but i know it takes a 3rd party to be able to see this sort of things abt a person, so i was oblivious to my flirtaious ways if i ever was. i admit that i had been rather open, easy-going and may have stepped over the line as a friend when socialising, but my intentions were clear. i knew who i wanted to get close to and who not. but sometimes, intentions and actions may contradict, and it takes much less an effort to realise the former. first impressions are so crucial because of ppl's tendency to judge too soon for their own good, but this is a flaw that makes humans what they are: imperfect. it's not that i have many female friends in the first place, but i guess it is just my luck. i was thinking if i was ever a flirt in sec sch, but because of my lack of definition for this cruel label, i am unable to come to a conclusion. but i did find out something though. i was close friends to the female friends whom one of my guy friends had a crush on. and the list appears: huisin we were close. emphasis on the word close. but yea, we were talking lots during sec3. and there was this guy called jun kai who apparently had the hots for her. i knew him through bball, which was the platform in tms if u wanted to make friends quick and painless. just a few lay-outs and shots here and there, and we were meeting after sch for bball games. i cant exactly recall how i found out that he liked her, but he did respect her as a councillor and stuff initially. yea, how convenient that respect can morphed into like w/o socialising much. but that is 'crush' for you. vanessa hm, i wouldnt say we were close, but i was made to sit behind her in sec3 and naturally when you're spending hours in class, you'll interact somehow. but we sort of friends who talked abt superficial stuff so i'll just say that we were friends. and the idiot me only found out that much much later that erjie had a crush on her for quite some time already. but i didnt notice it until someone told me, and by then she and lemuel were already steads. erjie probably got closer to her when there was a change in seating plans in sec4, and by then i was already sitting in the 'isolated' row. so no matter... queenie ok la, this one really is ultimate. she was the first person i exchanged sms with when i got my new hp. and it was nuts la, dunno how i managed to choke up so many in a month. but that was then, when i was young and totally noob. fortunately we never did get close enough, and i had this friend bing sheng who was actually busy plotting some devious plan to distract deren so that he could top the level. now, i dont know how he managed to get close to queenie as well, but sometime in sec4, they kinda of 'stead' la. he was all over her, but it never did turn out for the best. eventually he got all heated up after his efforts were never appreciated, so he's still hating her till now. actually, i dont know what it is with ppl having so much hate over such gay issues. ok, maybe i wasnt in his shoes, but hate is rlly like when someone kills ya parents or something la. but hey, shit happens all the time.. ee may she may not have those hot models kinda looks, but there was something abt her that made her atttractive. and i was blessed to be able to sit nxt to her for a few terms in sec3. she's rlly rlly smart, but whenever she pwns me in tests, she acts blur and says 'aiya tyco la'. i wish i could tyco as well. she was known for her smile and dao-ness. she's rlly an approachable person, but she's always hanging out with her clique so ppl had some misconceptions of her. anyway, yuan wei was the guy who was rumoured to be in love with her la. i rmb this time when my 2/4 friends and yw were on the bus with ee may, all alone. naturally, guys being guys, we tried to push him closer towards her, and eventually he alighted with her. haha, those were innocent times. i think he did confess to her in the end, but he hit a brick wall la. no matter, at least he is successfully attached now. come to think of it, maybe i've been a flirt all along. should i change? well, at least to avoid misunderstandings, why not. but like she said, that wouldnt me then. is it really worth it to change for someone else? why not, if that person means alot to you. what do i have to lose? Monday, July 17, 2006 @ 8:33 PM
post-mortem mids BDFF B4. an all time low for me ever since i've enrolled into MJ.it's not the twin Fs that has disheartened me but the fact that i hav to pay the principal a visit. not once, but twice, though technically speaking the 2nd time round it was her paying me a visit. ok, the 1st time was real unexpected cos' rahman had just handed out the chem papers and he just told me that the principal wanted to see me. so i went in and heck, her room had this deprssing aura. i mean when you're sitting down, u feel a heap of pressure on your shoulders as she gets down-to-earth with you. if there's one thing abt her, is that she's damn direct. she doesnt beat around the bush, ask/tells u whatever she wants to. but i made sure i answered and spoke whenever i had to cos' if i act timid and all, it'll only give her more reason to 'eat' me up.she went on about how i disappoint my parents with my shitass results, and how lazy i was. yes, i realise i am lazy. absolutely lazy. then again, maybe i'm more indifferent than lazy. i just heck too many things around me, except those that starves of my attention. sadly they fall in a limited category of friends, family and happiness. i just dont have hunger as every damn teacher will put it. hunger for knowledge that is. i'm too busy half the time to satisfy my hunger for REAL food (whitesands, put a blardy kfc/bk in you cos' mac is getting bland already). i also lack deteremination which is what differentiates me from the others. nonetheless, i've started on my revision for rahman's sake actually, since he's the only teacher whom i feel i owe the most, and likewise aggravated the most as well. i want...no, i need to get a reasonable grade for chem at the end of the day, and by his reasonable standards, i'm thinking B if not A. less talking, more working.. Saturday, July 01, 2006 @ 11:46 AM
wc night ok, remind me to get some slp the nxt time i attempt to stay out and up for 2 wc matches in a row.shit la, i conveniently assumed that i'll be able to last the whole night w/o some shut-eye, but by the time of the 2nd match, my eyes were like barely holding on. and on my way home i overslept and missed my bus stop. haha, but the experience was worth it all. my fm fate was pretty ,uh, sealed yesterday. ok, to be honest it was already sealed after i took my first fm paper, so yesterday's paper was just to add icing to my beloved cake. BUT BUT BUT the most ironic thing was tt i only studied stats part, keeping my fingers crossed for all the mech qns to be chicken shit for me. i ended up doing the mech (either) qn and more mech qns in sect A than stats qns in sect B. what the heck is this supposed to mean? what about chem u say? of cos i'm equally screwed, but truth to be told, i think i'll do better for chem than fm. dont ask me how i know, just feel so. i'm left two more papers, and though technically speaking the exams arent over yet, but i'm tempted to just play and slack for the nxt 3 days. i mean c'mon, youth day used to mug? it's like you're asking me to give out hongbaos on christmas day or slack on labour day (haha, labour ma, so supposed to be a day where ppl do work. i used to say that it's for women who were in labour). and even if i want to go out, who's gg to be in any mood to accompany me? nvm, 1 more wk. 1 more freakin' wk... had kfc after yesterday's paper and watched superman returns. not bad actually, though half the time i was questioning some parts of the movie like how is it that his hair manages to curl all the time when he's in superman mode, or how when he unbuttons his shirt to reveal his superhero costume, no one sees it on the street. we went over to mac to discuss our night endeavour to catch the wc matches at KOVAN's mac. of cos i did attempt to convince them otherwise to watch at kallang, and at one point of time we were contemplating bdk(cos' SOMEONE mentionted she wouldnt mind watching if it was at bdk mac). but in the end, it was settled: kovan. didnt get any slp when i got home, afraid that i might oversleep and ps all of them. so i left home early and although we were there 45 min earlier, the mac was packed cos of the renovation, so we ended up gg over to sengkang and watch with ls. haha, and damn it, at the kovan i saw this RED-HAIRED gal with some of her friends and i was speculating that it was cherie. but i just tot it might not be her, and i was wrong. oops, note to cherie: i'll scream ya name the nxt time. watched the argen-germany match at a sengkang kopitiam. gay la, when you're standing so far behind and u barely can see the ball. haha, it gets worse when ppl start cheering and you've no clue if it was a goal or not cos heck, u have to guess who has the ball by the camera angles and all. furthermore it lasted to a penalty shootout. swt. after tt we walked over to some nearby mac ( which actually wasnt so nearby lo) to catch the next match. wa, i rlly knock out in the first half, no stamina to last the night. haha, fortunately i could watch the 2nd half though i was still falling aslp once in a while. all in all, worthwhile experience but we need to plan properly nxt time, cnt so impromptu. i was thinking we shld do this on an exam night, all of us will definitely be immortalised to MJ legends. not kidding, it's cult stats for us leh... |