the difference between the two is: i don't mind. and i don't matter.
c'mon mind over matter.
it's like being the "green man" sign at the pedestrian's crossing.
you think everyone is waiting for you, crowding around you.
but the moment you appear, everyone walks away, across the road.
后面有声音说。。。这是正路。
你要行走在其间。
treasures are missed most: after you lose them.
how? i feel like drowning my sorrows.
okok how abt some serious blogging today eh? since i got abit o spare time :)
ehs... abt work. the busiest period of the year is over. so it's down time. everyone is taking a break. albeit the occassional rush for ad hoc stuff, but all's fine i guess. really improving on table soccer haha if thats a concern. i haf mastered the art of passing and shooting. the nxt big step wld really be holding the ball and striking. perhaps another 3 months. as u can see, im more concerned wif my foosball skills rather than work and that really shows u how slack it is. also i haf discovered the secret to... communicating wif more ppl on a rapid scale at office :) those who know. u dun hafta say. haha. think my officers are gonna gif me an art project to do soon. to create a model of the interior of a hotel. that would take some of my time. but not like im complaining. the boredom in office sumtimes drives me to the edge.
for church. well i see abit of rise in the standard of praise. a rather far cry frm that depressing period when no one practiced and no one took it for serious. and i believe the spirit of 1520 is still rather high. everyone is still moving and still growing. i think dats most impt :) hmms. i realised dat as of recent, i haf made alot more frens wif other ppl beyond the 87-ers. ppl like xueting, xinhui, weiling, chuantin, aaron, amos. yea it's a good thing definitely. cos everyone is lovely haha upcoming september 30th activities. i really haf no idea wad to do. so sumbody pls save me.
for frens. began to notice that there were a great deal of ppl whom im talking to now whom i nv noticed in hcjc b4. ppl like clara, melissa, shunman, khoo huishan. astoundingly all girls, but dun blame me, they facebook.
oh yes time for a break. i'm a facebook slut and i've been whoring facebook. and so is khoo huishan. just for the record :)
yes dey facebook. so i guess these social networking websites really do provide a certain stage for communications between ppl. but of course, i am reminded that establishing bonds within an electronic network and base isn't healthy. BUT WTH. i haf not much other choice anyway. and making new frens is really interesting. haha soon u realise, it isn't dat lonely a planet afterall. for example, shunman shares two passions wif i. first is table tennis. we played 2 hours of that. and second is eating. shes a food blogger summore. haha eateries, beware the merciless critique onslaught comin ur way.
and im really glad i got to meet up wif my old huangcheng frens. both naogui, as well as some other actors. no matter how long we may be apart, those three months haf cemented us tgt. somehow, there is always a spark between the all of us, that allows us to still be great frens and behave like total idiots.
and of course the guys. rmb meeting zhiyin n wenjie some time back. it's really cool to haf em ard. cos dey nv fail to crack me up. wenjie often says he see me feel like laughing liaos. i guess its the same for me to him. definitely sad that pms is now 4-short-1, and the number of times we remaining three get to meet has been drastically shortened. but i guess somethings just don't change. won't change. and dat's a good thing of course.
hopefully the trip to australia comes about. we'll haf great fun. just the four of us again.
we aren't gay.
of course i've met my buddy jialing. altho we haven met for much as well, i'm glad we are still able to share stuff wif each other. hopefully we can make more time for each other in due time :)
miss eng has been awfully unfair to me. haha we go out and haf so much fun yet she doesn't try to make more time for more trips :P of course family comes first. we haf found a new activity called mouting! it is sumthin like fishing, prawning, frying, sleeping. u juz gotta find out wad mout is :)
the recent project i haf been busyin myself wif has been completed. it is my handmade sling bag :) made fully of black plastic trash bags, and an old discarded seat belt, wif old buckles frm my previous bags. ask for fotos frm me, or if u haf facebook, it's in one of my photo albums :) i also managed to craft myself a drum sticks porter. for only $1.93 :)
abt my life. ahhh the main reason why i'm bloggin today. i had a real scare frm a nightmare last night. i dreamt that i was gonna die. and i was running in the hospital tryin to find my parents. and i cldn't get em. so i decided to call em. and i was bawling over the fone as the last few minutes simply slipped by. just to highlight how traumatic it was, i woke up crying. as in, the tears were in my eyes, my face was wet, my pillow was slightly drenched.
two things i realised during the nxt 20 minutes i was awake. in my dream, i had called my mum first. and i realised how much i wanted to talk to my dad. so i called him up, and the first thing he said was, are you looking for mum?
i realised dat my dad has been sucha big influence in my life, always giving me steady advice. always caring for me. whether i was tired. whether i needed a lift home. whether there was anything troubling me. my bad habits, my vices. he has been, say, the best a father can be. yet i've never truly shown my care for him. i guess it's a male thing. macho men dun show affection (family affection in this sense) for each other. and when i call my dad in real life (not in nightmares), it's often cos my mum's fone is off and i noe dat shes ard my dad. so i wld call him to get my mum. for everything i do, i wld inform my mum but not my dad. sumhow, this moment in my nightmare has shown me, i am responsible to my dad as well. and that i should talk to him more. instead of bypassing him all the time.
second thing, i realised, even tho i was dying (in the nightmare), i didn't pray. that's all i need to say.
i wanna recommit my life to You. once again. please accept me.
