Sunday, September 25, 2011 5:38 PM
I don't feel like it's the holidays at all...
Everyday I feel like something is holding me down from enjoying myself. ):
ARGH I HATE THIS FEELING.
雀です。
Friday, September 23, 2011 11:05 PM
I know you guys are concerned, but I really can't stand those that come and lecture/comfort me as if they know exactly what I'm going through. I haven't even told a single word to you and you come telling me a whole chunk of stuff.
Thanks, I understand your good intentions, but I'd rather not have them.
雀です。
Sunday, September 18, 2011 12:55 AM
I have no idea why I cry anymore...
I thought things were better. I was able to put in all my effort on Friday for Magical Autumn... Then when Saturday came, I just went back into a sad phase. Argh, I hate it.
雀です。
Saturday, September 10, 2011 3:42 AM
And so I took the depression quiz on Singapore HPB and these were the results:
Scoring 16/27...
"Your responses indicate that you have moderate to severe depressive symptoms. You should seek help if these symptoms have been present for 2 weeks or more OR if you are not functioning normally. "
I cried.
雀です。
Tuesday, September 06, 2011 12:59 AM
Everyday I look for reasons to continue, but instead, I keep getting reasons to give up.
Somehow, the thought of quitting became very clear as my exams ended. I ever did harbor these thoughts before, but it was never so... real.
I'm unable to think well partially because I just feel so frustrated inside. Things that piss me of keep happening and it's not helping at all. I do countless mistakes and get scolded countless times. I know it's my fault.
It's like I lost my passion... Give me a reason to continue in a place where:
1. I feel no more connection to.
2. An advisor who once said, "I do not want another Wan Yee". Which probably means if I were to go, it'll be much better.
3. I cannot focus/commit as much as before.
4. I have no passion for.
To be honest, I rather spend the time doing all these bullshit at animal shelters. Yes, what I do may not have direct impact, but what I do can be easily replaced by others as well. It does not give me a sense of satisfaction nor motivation. If I were to volunteer my time at animal shelters, I can share my love and I can be loved back.
I hate doing things I find no meaning to. Like finance, stupid quotations... All the clubs survived well without it for how many years already. I don't see why I have to waste my precious time doing this and doing up a fucking item list. Emailing me ONE DAY before the deadline to tell me to submit a payment voucher is NOT FUN. FUCK.
I'm sorry but I'm really pissed now. I feel so frustrated... I really wish to quit... But yet again, as I said before, I have responsibilities to bear... I was thinking of quitting after Hands to Paws... I know it's irresponsible but I really cannot take it anymore. If I feel like this everyday, not only my grades will deprove, but I can also just go mad one day.
If only I can just say "I quit" and just leave.
雀です。