35 Weeks

Well, we're on our way to having these boys get here! I can't believe we made it this far (neither can my doctor)!  It's been a rough last few weeks.  I've definitely gotten to the "I'm uncomfortable all the time" phase.

Some of my "symptoms":
-Swollen feet/legs! My right foot/leg is quite a bit more swollen most of the time. Thank goodness for compression socks!!
-Braxton Hicks. Happening much more often (but not making any progress dilation/effacement wise).  Particularly bad at night! Which brings me to...
-Not sleeping through the night. Definitely a tough one when still working! I usually get up every two hours between midnight and whenever my alarm goes off (usually around 530).  My boy B likes to shove his arm/leg into my right hip and cramp my muscle/ligament/cut off my circulation (might be a cause of the extra swelling in that leg??).  Sometimes I'll be up for an hour or two because I can't get comfortable.
-Back Aches. Sitting...Standing...Laying down...my belly is huge and it's making my back hurt!
-Stretch Marks...shhh! I do have a few (not very many actually though...and they only appeared in the last two weeks)...
-Numbness. I literally do NOT have feeling in the skin around my belly button. It's sooo weird. I think I'm reaching maximum capacity.

So...those are a few of the things I've been battling over the last few weeks.

As for the boys, last week we had an ultrasound. Baby A was measuring around 4lbs 10 oz. Baby B was measuring about 5lbs 3 oz!  The BIG news was that our Baby A FLIPPED for the first time ever. He was breech. :(  And, baby B was transverse (sideways). So...if they don't choose to behave soon and go back to being head down...it means a c-section.  YIKES! I'm pretty nervous about that prospect, but we knew it was a strong possibility with twins. So, trying to learn about everything c-sections...just in case.

And to finish off...here's my 35 week belly shot:

32 weeks

It's been awhile since I posted a real update.  I've officially hit 32 weeks! I can NOT believe how quickly this pregnancy is going. I guess working full-time still is helping.

I'm definitely feeling huge.  We have a dr appt tomorrow, and I'm sure I'm measuring at least 40 cm (aka 40 wks with a singleton) already.  I'm doing pretty good at work still. I stay sitting most of the time, so it's not too strenuous on me.  But, I'm definitely feeling it at night.  I just can't seem to get comfortable.  The boys like to lay way out when I'm laying on my side, and so whenever I try to roll from side to side it's really difficult and my belly gets all tight.  Luckily, I usually only have to get up to pee once or twice through out the night (sometime three times, but not always).  I think the main reason I wake up though is because of Braxton Hicks contractions.  Whenever I get one, it makes me feel like I have to pee!  Speaking of Braxton Hicks, I am getting them through out the day, usually at least 1-3 contractions per hour.  But, nothing is regular and it's not painful, so I'm doing good still.

I figure I can't complain too much.  I'm so grateful to be pregnant and I still can't believe it most of the time.  I love these boys sooo much already and I know Sung does too.  He loves to let them know he's there.  And, I love it when he says good morning or good night or hello to them both!

Speaking of boys, baby B is hiccuping right now and "twitching" at my ribs!  That's been pretty interesting...with baby A, I usually feel it really low in my pelvis though sometimes a little higher about level with my belly button.  With B, it's usually at my ribs to down to my belly button.  Hope that doesn't mean he's breech again! YIKES!

We did have a baby scare last week.  My active boy has always been our Baby A.  I CONSTANTLY feel him moving or I can at least poke him to make him move.  Well, I realize after a late lunch last week that I hadn't felt A move much.  In fact, B was moving A LOT, which is very unusual for him.  I waited a couple hours because I know they have sleeping and waking patterns now, but still no response really.  I ate something sweet to motivate him...but still none.  I tried pushing him around, poking him, etc...and he would make slow lethargic-y movements.  I got worried and was going to call right after work (it was pretty close for me to leave), but then someone came and was talking to me and I got stuck for an extra half hour and boom...after 5...OB office closed.  So, I figured maybe if I lay down and rest then he'd perk up...same slow movements.  I told Sung when he got home...we decided to check with our neighbors to see if by some chance they had a stethoscope (he's a doctor and she's a nurse) and could hear the heartbeats (long shot with a stethoscope, but I figured it might save me a trip to the hospital).  No luck with the stethoscope though...So between Sung and our neighbors, they convinced me to call the OB's after hours # (who said to go to Labor and Delivery...ugh...).  So...off we go to the hospital. They hooked me/the babies up to monitor heart rate and then put another monitor on to track contractions.  Luckily, they found both heartbeats and both were fine! I was having some contractions while we were there, but I wasn't dilated, so they weren't worried.  So an hour and a half later...we're on our way home.  And 24 hrs later...Baby A was his normal active self!

I felt a little silly for going, but I know Sung and I would have been stressing all night, if we didn't go.  Sung's major concern is umbilical cord issues, so we were both glad that they were doing good.  Plus I think they were just going through a growth spurt! I'll let you be the judge! What do you think??

Braxton Hicks Contractions...

My uterus' revenge on the boys getting too active!

28 Wks 3 Day Appt

Had our 28 wk appt yesterday!

Our little boys are growing up soo quickly already!  They're both measuring a week ahead still.  Though I think it may be due to them inheriting Sung's head size! They're measuring in the 80-90th+%tile (gotta have something to hold all those brains)!  Baby A was weighing in at about 2lb 14oz and Baby B was 3lbs 1oz.  AND, Baby B was head down for the first time since about 10 wks!  Of course with their heads...we may STILL be looking at a c-section even if they both stay head down...

We actually had an AMAZING ultrasound tech this time!   We loved our previous tech the FIRST time we saw her, but I think it was only because we had the appt right after lunch... All our other appts have been the end of the day and she ALWAYS rushed us and just hurried us through the appt as fast as possible.  Didn't even stop and explain things when we asked questions (not even during our 20 wk BIG anatomy scan).  Well, this time we had someone different and we LOVED her!  She was soo patient and took her time. It was soo refreshing.  Plus, we got permission from our OB to do some 3/4D pics of the boys' face (due to some of my family history), so we got some AMAZING shots of our boys!  Even got a little video of Baby B yawning! And both the boys had their hands on their heads and they were right next to each other (though separated by their separate sac linings).

So...here's a pic of each baby from the appt:

Baby A resting his head against Baby B's head! That line against his face (right side) is the lining between them.

Baby B--chin on his chest and arm/hand near his face!

As for me, I'm doing good.  I've officially gotten to the point where I'm not really hungry ever.  I think my stomach is so squished that I just don't feel hunger anymore.  The boys have gotten sooo active now. I'm LOVING it!  Though...this morning at about 4 am I woke up the some major pain around my lower hip/abdomen (like ligament pain).  Well, I guess Baby B decided to stretch his arm out into my ligament! I could feel this little knot (his FIST) sticking into my ligament down there! Took about 10-15 min to convince him to pull his arm back in!  That was pretty painful!  Anyways, I'm loving being pregnant! I'm still able to work full-time, so I'm hoping I can hold out as long as possible and avoid bedrest!  Well...I don't have much else to update...oh I AM measuring about 7wks larger than a single baby pregnancy right now! So I'm 28 wks and measuring at 35 wks!

Home Stretch

I guess I haven't been as good as I hoped I would be at blogging during this pregnancy... I claim being really, really busy!  We officially hit 28 weeks today! YAY! Its still very surreal that we'll be having two little boys in our family soon.  We feel soo enormously blessed!

As for me...I officially know what Braxton Hicks contractions feel like! I realized this week (when it was happening more often) that the boys weren't pushing out, my uterus was squeezing IN! I think it started back at 18-20 wks, but only maybe once a day or less. Now, it still only happens a few times though out the day, but in the evening it happens more frequently.  Luckily its fairly normal for twins... Plus we have an appt Wed so we'll probably discuss it then!

I have my first baby shower Wed also! My work is throwing me a little one!

So until I update things on Wednesday ...here's a 28 week belly shot!

Scared

Ok. So, I'm getting a little nervous... I have some friends that are 35/37 weeks right now and I am not too far behind them belly size wise. It makes me scared about how much bigger I'm going to get and how much more uncomfortable. The boys are already measuring a week ahead (thanks to them taking after their daddy's head). So, how much bigger am I going to get before they're ready to come?   I want them to be in as long as they can,  but I'm really nervous about how I'll function (physically AND mentally) in another month. Ok...there's my worry rant for the week... Oh and, I hit 25 weeks this week!

Help! The heat is after me!

Ok. So after our crazy weekend of marrying off my baby sister (congrats Anna!) AND the crazy heat...I've totally gotten the swollen feet syndrome! Help those that have been preggo before! What do I do to get rid of them?

And...24 weeks! Oh we have an ultrasound this week! If we get some good shots, I'll post them!

Punching Bag?

Not sure what to blog about right now.  We've officially hit 22 weeks! Woohoo!  To be honest, it's been a little crazy in life right now, but even though...I feel like time is going slowly right now.  I've started to feel the aches and pains of pregnancy.  I can't sit on the floor or other really hard surface for too long or else my lower back gets REALLY sore.  Same thing happens if I stand/walk for too long (we're talking an hour+).   My feet are definitely starting to hurt by the end of the day, even if my job doesn't require me on my feet all the time.  I guess it's all the pounds I'm putting on. I'm trying to keep active a little to make sure I'm gaining the "right" weight.  It definitely seems that weight gain is beyond my control, which is VERY weird for me!!  

I'm LOVING feeling the boys move more often.  They love to kick/punch me after I eat and while I'm at work!  Even Baby B is getting more active, which again...I'm loving!  I definitely feel like a punching/kicking bag sometimes! It is so amazing the wonder that I'm carrying our children... Despite the aches and the pains and the fears and worries, I'm grateful everyday for the opportunity to be going through this.  After such a long journey, I can't believe we've finally made it here. I can't believe we've been so blessed. 

As for those wondering names (seems to be one of the first questions asked after people find out their both boys), we do have names, but we're holding off on telling people what they are!  I don't want the judgments, or "comments" about what we choose...plus they're not set in stone until they're here and even then we have a LITTLE time!

So...here's to 22 weeks!

"So...looks like the rumors are true..."

I've officially passed the "are you just getting fat" / "I might regret asking you if you're pregnant" phase.  Over the last week, people at work are just starting to ask the question/state the obvious.  It kind of makes me uncomfortable having everyone "know".  But, I guess it's an exciting time, so I have to go with it! ;) Price you pay for getting preggo.  

Funny thing... Sung and I were discussing people "finding out" about the twins.  Seems like we have a standard script that tends to happen for both of us:

Sung/Me: "Yes, we're expecting."
Person: "Do you know the gender yet?"
Sung/Me: "Yes, two boys."
Person (prying a little): "Oh?! Do twins run in your family??" (aka. did you conceive these naturally or through medical intervention?)
Sung/Me: ....(answer depends on the person)...

Sometimes if they're close or really sincere or I think they might need to know (aka they're going through infertility too), then I might say "Nope they don't run in our family. They were medically induced twins" ;)  If I feel like they just "want to know" or if there's a bunch of people around or whatever, I get a little irritated and tend to just say "Nope they don't" and leave it at that.

On the other hand, I have to start registering for stuff (I have a co-worker planning a baby shower and she's very emphatic that I need to start registering!). ;) So...mommies out there...what should and what SHOULDN'T I register for?  I've been reading up on some stuff, but give me the practical stuff! Is there anything you got/registered for that you haven't used. Or is there anything you can't live without now that you WISH you'd registered for?

Halfway

I feel bad that I haven't been posting lately... Works been crazy, Life's been crazy, and I've pretty much had NO time at all!  I feel like we CONSTANTLY have stuff to do, so much that we're not getting ready for babies (but we are actually doing a lot)! 

 My sister is getting married at the end of the month and we get to play "hotel" for some of her in-laws, so we figured cleaning up the extra bedrooms had two pro's...Getting them ready for guests AND getting them cleaned out for babies (no the boys won't be in separate rooms, but when you're doing one already...might as well do the other)!  So far we have painted the nursery, cleaned out and donated many many boxes of stuff, moved other stuff to the attic (oh and sung actually had to add an attic ladder and plywood in the attic first so we could get stuff up there), and just this weekend Sung and Doug put the crown moulding in the babies' room.  What do we have left to do? Paint the OTHER guest bedroom, add moulding, moved the futon from the nursery to the spare room, move the twin from the spare room to the nursery, find cribs!!, and decorate!  

Not too bad, but to be honest, I'm feeling the time ticking... I've definitely been growing quite a bit faster lately and I'm definitely been feeling pregnant.  I've had an unusually good pregnancy.  Besides my little ligament incident a few weeks ago, I can't complain too much...  But I guess my current "issue" is discomfort, particularly at night.  During the day, I'm good. I can still wear my heels to work and take the stairs up to my office on the fourth floor.  But come night time...I just can't get comfortable.  I don't pee all night (maybe once in the night, but not every night even).  But, I can't find a position that allows me to sleep real soundly.  I'll sleep on one side, with pillows to support my back/belly and one between  my knees (like I'm supposed to, right??), but after an hour or two...I just don't feel good.  My hip has been getting sore while I sleep and then I just can't get comfortable.  I switch sides and still...can't get comfortable.  So, if anyone has some miraculous tips on how to sleep comfortably...LET ME KNOW!!

As for the boys (and sorry we'll still publicly call them "the boys", not dispelling names), they're doing WONDERFULLY!  We had our 20 week ultrasound on Wednesday... Both are "measuring" about 13 oz each (hard to believe they're almost a POUND EACH!).  Heartbeats were both strong at 143 and 145.  Baby A (the one closer to the cervix, and most likely to "come first") was head down and Baby B was breech.  Baby A has his feet up near my ribs and is my active one.  I feel him kicking me multiple times a day (particularly a little while after I eat or if I'm at church or the temple).  Baby B isn't quite as "violent as A.  I feel him shift around and sometimes he'll punch or kick me (again, their favorite times is when I'm at the temple or at church it seems), but overall he's been much calmer than his brother.  

We didn't get any REALLY good pictures of both of the boys.  B was photogenic and we got another nice profile shot, but A was hiding his face and we couldn't get a good shot of it. :(  But, we've been trying to keep up on the weekly belly shots, so here is the 20 week shot! 

Yes, I do look like I doubled (and then some) since the last picture I posted!

Sung and I are getting VERY excited! Can't wait until we finally get to meet these little guys of ours!

Holy Ligaments, Batman!

Had my first "emergency" appt last week. Wednesday morning I woke up with a pain in my lower right abdomen.  At first it was just a little irritating, like digestive pain or something, but it got worse and worse as I headed to work.  Once I got to work, I tried moving around to find what would make the pain go away, but nothing helped. I left a message with my OB and waited to hear from them.  The pain just got even worse and I couldn't sit at work anymore.  I left and figured I'd head towards the dr's office just in case they called back.  I tried calling one more time and the nurse answered (thank goodness)!  Told her the pain was pretty bad and I just couldn't get it to go away, but told her I thought it was just digestion or maybe some ligament pains.  She went ahead and told me to come in (I was practically at the office my that time anyways).  They did a quick ultrasound to check the babies and my cervix (both babies were fine and cervix was long and closed).  Talked to the OB and she said there was a round ligament that ran RIGHT over the spot that was hurting.  She said that usually these pains don't come until 20-24 weeks, but with twins...the uterus thinks it's further along than it is (and babies are just stretching things out!).  Luckily a couple tylenol helped and just taking it easy.  

Plus...we had our 18 week appt today and baby B was TOTALLY right down low near that same area, so I'll blame him on stretching things out! ;)  

Along those lines...our appt went well. Baby A was a wiggly guy and the dr almost had to corner him to get his heartbeat (he kept moving away).  Baby B was nice and calm and way down low!  Heart rates were 140 and 145.  Can't wait for our 20 week appt AND ULTRASOUND in a couple weeks!  It will be good to see our little guys for a nice long hour or so!  And we'll see if A continues to be wiggly like I feel him being.  I have started feeling them move more often.  Sometimes it will be just feeling the weight distribution change as they shift positions, but I have gotten a little nudge from baby A a couple times!  A couple times it's even almost made me sick to my stomach with them shifting positions at the same time! It's like my insides are churning around in opposite directions!  Definitely an experience!  Haven't posted a belly picture lately...so...let's see if I can get one on here today...

18 weeks!

15

Hit 15 weeks on Monday! We had an ultrasound last Wednesday and our babies decided not to be shy at all! So...at 14.5 weeks we found out we will be having two little BOYS join our family! I was a little shell-shocked. Sung...thrilled (though he "says" he'd be just as happy with two girls...)! I mean come on...I had TWO possible outcomes that involved at least one girl! Ok ok...I've gotten over that. I'm just happy they're healthy and to be honest I'm glad they're the same gender! At least they can share clothes, a room longer, decor for one gender...can you imagine if it had been one of EACH?! That would be literally like having to buy two of EVERYTHING! 

So...here's my 15 week belly shot. I'm starting to feel big...what a long way I have to go still though...

Public again!

I'm back!  We went through quite a journey this last fall/winter, and I didn't quite feel comfortable announcing all we went through to everyone (because we didn't know how things would turn out).  BUT, after our whole process (which you can read in the previous posts now public), we are pleased to make an announcement!!

As Sung said, "I'll let the pictures do the talking!"

Long Wait

The last two weeks have been hard. I've had a tough time waiting for our 12 week appointment and ultrasound NEXT Monday. We were supposed to have our appointment tomorrow, but I'm in a class for work all this week and they won't let me miss... :( I'm ready to hit that "12 week" mark and be "in the clear" so to speak.

I haven't had any morning sickness really...only food aversions. I absolutely can't do boiled chicken in a creamy/cheesey casserole or soup...just the thought of it turns my stomach. But, other than that...no real problems with it at all. And, I haven't really gained much weight (only about 4 or 5 lbs) since we found out we were pregnant, which worries me a little only because I know that you're supposed to gain weight earlier with twins (because you can't gain it as easily later). I eat ALL the time though, and I'm trying to make sure I get the recommended amount of water/fluids daily as well...

Bought some maternity clothes online, and I'm getting excited about being able to wear them soon! Not yet though...I can't quite pull it off yet. But I'm sure it won't be long. It's pretty amazing how women's bodies change so naturally during pregnancy. I feel soo blessed to have the opportunity to experience this.

So, Sung and I are going to try to do weekly pics of the "belly". So, here's our 10 week one from last week. I'll see if I can download my 11 week one too and attach it later!

10 weeks! (but I am leaning back a little...)

First OB Appointment - 8 Weeks 2 Days

What an awesome day! We went to our OB's office today for an ultrasound appt, then a meeting with our OB. We had an awesome ultrasound tech! The babies look sooo much more like babies! Though still a little stubby! I called them my little gummy bears! The ultrasound tech must have liked our excitement, because she was like "hey...let me try something". And, she did 3-D pictures of the babies!!!! It was CRAZY! And, we saw them moving for the first time! They were whirling their little arms around! I think I'm totally smitten, and have no idea how I would feel if we lost one at this point...

Our meeting with our OB went well... We discussed everything from labor and delivery plans, to weight gain (which is REALLY intimidating!), to doctor appointments and test schedules. We will be having appointments every two weeks, with ultrasounds every other appointment to make sure the babies are growing on schedule and fairly evenly.

I bought a book about twin pregnancy and I have to admit...It absolutely terrified me about making sure I do the right things for this baby during this pregnancy. Gaining enough weight, keeping myself healthy but not overdoing it, chances of pre-term labor or delivery...it was A LOT to take in. I'm starting to realize that I'll be able to plan even less with a twin pregnancy. There are soo many more things that can go wrong or different with twins. So, here's to hoping I can handle it! I have to one way or another!

Oh and on a side note...I know every pregnant woman has things they hate that people say to them during their pregnancy...Well, I've found one already that absolutely "rubs me the wrong way". So, if you see me, PLEASE do not say "Wow! You're way too small to have twins!" or "You can't have twins, you're too small!" I'm pregnant with twins. They're there and hopefully not going anywhere and I'm not going to choose to change this situation myself! So, I'm GOING to carry twins and that's that! Okay...I know people are just excited, but that was my pregnant rant for the week! ;)

Ultrasound # 3 - 8 Weeks 2 Days

Had our LAST ultrasound with our infertility doctor today... I have to admit it's a little bitter sweet. I LOVE Dr H and our nurse Lynn! We've been with them off and on for over 2 years now, so it's been quite a journey to get here. I've definitely seen them more than my OB/GYN, so I'm a little nervous about moving on... Though I know it's a good BIG step for us! We had a good ultrasound, but due to some (TMI) yucky progesterone, our picture wasn't very clear. So I won't post any pics. Twin A was very blurry! But, the heart rates have increased again! They were at 168 and 176! And both were again measuring on schedule!

I made my FIRST OB appointment for next week. Our OB wants to do an ultrasound (due to there being TWO)! Sound like there will be alot of monitoring through our pregnancy...

On other news, I DID get sick last week. Wed night I was running a low grade fever off and on all night and Thursday morning I was feeling AWFUL. I called my family Dr since I'm not officially with my OB and I'm release from my Infertility dr. He wasn't in, but I met with his nurse practitioner. (The nurses were all excited for our pregnancy! ) They tested me for strep because my throat was so red and irritated looking, but the quick test came back negative. So, she gave me a list of meds I could take. I took a little bit of Tylenol and regular plain Robitussin. I was terrified of something happening, so I took as minimum amount as I could and lived on popsicles and other stuff to fight the sore throat. Luckily, by Saturday, I was doing pretty good. EXHAUSTED, but no more fever and just a cough instead of a sore throat and a cough. Was still pretty wiped out Sunday, but felt pretty much back to normal my Monday! Thank goodness! And with this "graduation" to our OB, I'm pretty thrilled! Can't wait to see our babies again next week!

Ultrasound #2 - 7 Weeks 2 Days

Went in for our second ultrasound this morning. I was soo anxious before this ultrasound...I have a deep fear of losing one of our little babies. It's funny how quickly you get attached to these little beings growing inside of you (though that is still very surreal for me). I think I've been trying to protect myself from something bad happening, so I almost always have this thought in my head reminding myself that something could happen. After over 3.5 years of infertility, I think I've hardened my emotions to protect myself "just in case".

But, enough with the depressing stuff! Our babies (still can't believe that's plural) are doing WONDERFUL! They were bigger blobs this time! And heart rates increased from last time (139 and 141)! Here's a pic from our appt:

Twin A and B measuring right on schedule!

On another note...Think I might be getting sick...Sore throat, painful cough, and just feeling cruddy...I'm hoping it doesn't get too bad, I'm nervous about taking meds and other stuff while this early on in pregnancy.

Ultrasound #1 Reveals...

TWINS! That's right...twins...yikes! And...AH! We're very excited, but very nervous as well! I truly can't comprehend that I'm actually pregnant still...let alone that we might be having TWO babies! All they looked like were twinkling little stars in two black skies in the ultrasounds, but we got to hear two little heartbeats (114 and 120). Hoping things continue to progress as they should! Here's our twinkling stars at about 6.5 weeks:

Twin A

Twin B

2 Gestational Sacs

(shows Twin A...Twin B can't be seen in this pic because he/she is sitting further back in the sac)

Singleton vs Twin

So I've been anxious all weekend! Everyone in my discussion board thinks I've got twins in there, but I'm not sure.

I was thinking about the possibility of twins, and to be honest, I'm nervous about the possibility. It would mean more complications. More doctor's appointments. More health risks for the baby. More weight. The idea of staying at home by myself with them is a little scary...2 vs 1!

Of course there's a lot of things wonderful about twins. Double the love. Double the fun and excitement. 2 for the price of 1 in infertility costs. Hmm...I guess we'll have to see! Okay. Getting excited now! Thanks blog!

Beta Test #3

Last beta is in! Hcg was at 16,172!!! Wonderful news! If you calculate the doubling rate, it doubled only a little slower than between our last two betas. There's a little website that you can compare your betas to other peoples. It's called betabase (just google it). If you look at my betas they're on the high side for singletons and on the average side for TWINS! Wouldn't that be CRAZY??? But, I'm going to try not to get my hopes up.

As far as symptoms, I've had some cramping pretty constantly, but that could be the progesterone suppositories. I have been craving Mexican like constantly lately....mmm...chips and salsa and refried beans...mmm... okay going to go find some salsa!

First ultrasound will be next week! I'm soo anxious!

Beta Test #2

Things look GREAT!! I went in for bloodwork this morning again. The nurse who took my blood made a comment while the was doing the blood taking. She said "okay almost done. Oh I remember you! I had to dilute your sample. You're definitely positive!" Sooo, I guess my hcg levels are REALLY good! I got my results back and hcg was 1233! A little more than double! One more step out of the overly cautious zone! Can't wait for our ultrasound in a couple weeks to see how our little one is doing!!

Beta Test #1

I went in for blood work this morning to see if I was pregnant (I restrained myself from peeing on a stick at home!). To see if you're pregnant they test for the level of HCG in your blood (it's a hormone that is released into the blood stream from the baby's placenta). I got the call from the nurse right after lunch. First thing she asked me was if I'd taken a home pregnancy test. I said "no", and she said "Then I guess you don't know that you're pregnant!!" I was like "REALLY?!" Blood work was nice and high! HCG measure 548.

I called up Sung right after (he knew the call was coming today). He said "hey" and I said "hey (really down sounding)" then he said "hey" then I didn't say anything...Then he reallly sweetly said "i love you baby" and I said "I love you too" and he said "how are you feeling?" and I said "okay..." then he said "I love you" and I said "I love you too...will you still love me when I'm all big and fat?" And he hesitated, because he had to process what I was saying, but he was very pleased (cautiously)!

While this is the first big step (we've NEVER been pregnant before), we know that things could still go wrong. We have another blood test in a couple days. The hcg is supposed to double in 48 hrs, and that will tell us if the pregnancy is progressing well or if something is wrong.

So...the schedule of things for the next few weeks will be:

beta #2 in a couple days

beta #3 a week later

ultrasound #1 a week or so after last beta

and I think I'll have one or two more ultrasounds with our Infertility clinic before we get transfered to my regular OB/GYN.

What a wonderful Valentine's gift this was! (And sorry to those who saw my ":)" status on Facebook...it honestly was because Sung had totally surprised me for Valentine's day! He'd had it all planned before he even knew our results! They were just an extra bonus on top! But really, we've been trying to be really cautious about letting the news out, because we've never been here and really don't know what to expect.)

Answers...

One of the reasons we endeavored on the IVF journey was to hopefully have some answers for our "unexplained infertility". The doctor suspected it was a fertilization issue. Sung has no major issues and I'm young and healthy and didn't have any hormonal issues. SO, why couldn't we get pregnant??

Due to the fertilization suspicion, the doctor and we decided to do what is called split ICSI. In regular IVF (and forgive me if I've already explained all this), after egg retrieval, they just put the eggs and the sperm in a petri dish and "let them do their thing". With ICSI, they take a single sperm and actually inject it into the egg; therefore, just going ahead and making the eggs fertilized that way. We've been asking about what happened with all that since the embryo transfer, and finally got a call back today. The nurse said that they ended up doing ICSI on all of the eggs. Apparently, the sperm's motility quickly got worse and they were afraid they wouldn't be able to "do things naturally". Also, she said that the eggs were a little granular which means they can have some fragmentation issues. I wasn't able to get much more than that, but apparently it means that I don't have the best quality eggs either. So, no wonder we were having issues.

I WAS really hoping for an answer, but sometimes the answers hurt more than the lack of answers. I guess I'm a little in mourning for what I/we don't have. I know I need to be grateful for what we have. This cycle could work and we have 3 frozen if it doesn't (or for the future, if it does). But, it is still hard to process. At 25, you don't expect to hear about egg quality issues. Now, maybe they aren't horrible, maybe they're just minor egg quality issues. But, still, at 25...I guess I'd expect it more at 35 or 40.

Okay, there's my vent. Time to go find something salty and bad for me to supress my grief...

The Home Stretch

I had a bit of a rough last week/weekend. We had our egg retrieval Monday. I felt amazingly well after (but I think my mind I thought I felt better than my body did). I went back to work on Tuesday (def should've at least taken that day off too). But by Wed, I was feeling yucky again. Just sore and bloated feeling. I was having GI issues and thought I was having a relapse of the C. Diff, so I called my GI dr. He ordered some tests, and I just broke down Fri. I was so afraid that the results would cause us to have to cancel our embryo transfer. I was sitting in the lab waiting to pick up my stuff and I was just crying. Couldn't stop. (of course, I FORGOT to take my estrogen pills in the morning, so maybe it was a lack of balance of progesterone and estrogen...I think I'm just trying to make up excuses now...) Luckily, the GI nurse reassured me that we could still do the Embryo transfer on Sat, and if it was c. diff. we'd make sure I was on meds that I could take while preggers.

So, we went to the embryo transfer Saturday morning. They had retrieved 15 eggs on Monday. Of those 15, 12 were mature (ready to be fertilized), and 11 actually were fertalized! We got a call Thursday (day 3) saying all 11 were still growing. The stretch between day 3 and day 5 post-retrieval are the days where the strong embryos really start to show themselves (weeding out the week ones!). It's very normal to have half the number of embryos between day 3 and day 5. So, when we went in Saturday we really didn't know what to expect. Our doctor said we had EIGHT still going. 2 were REALLY good, 2 were good, 2 were okay and 2 were not great. So, they transfered the 2 REALLY good embabies! Here's a pic!!

Bet not many of you have a baby pic at this age!!! ;)

We are soo excited! The doctor and nurses were all very positive at our chances of getting pregnant. It's very reassuring. But, I am very realistic and know that it is all in the Lord's hands now.

Some of you might wonder what happens to the other 6 embryos. Well, they keep them in the lab for another day or two post transfer and they see which of those last and thrive. Then, they freeze them. It seems like our doctor likes to make sure that any embryos frozen will have a VERY good chance of surviving the "thawing" process, so they are very selective in which embryos are frozen. He told us that of our 6 we would probably only have one or two make it to freeze. Well, I got the call this afternoon. And, we have THREE embryos that were frozen!! That means, if these two embryos in me right now "don't stick", then we have another chance to try again. Frozen transfers are definitely less expensive and less intensive than the fresh cycles. So, it's definitely a nice back up solution (and takes some stress off this cycle). If this cycle works, then those frozen ones can stay frozen until we want to grow our family again!

It's been a very surreal process. Very stressful, and yet not too stressful. I've learned A LOT through the process. It's definitely brought Sung and I closer as a couple. Having to deal with this together. We are so grateful to have the means to be able to grow our family. We would love for it to be "easier" to start one (and CHEAPER!), but we're so grateful that we have been able to learn to grow closer through out this trial.

So, here's to waiting for results!!

And, I'm feeling good...

Today was the day! (or one of them!) We had our egg retrieval this morning. We triggered on Saturday at 9:30pm sharp for a 9:30 am retrieval this morning. I was a little bit nervous...mainly for the IV part. (*TMI:Funny how them poking a hole through the sides of my vagina doesn't scare me, but a tiny IV needle going into my hand does!) The anesthesiologist was wonderful, and the IV didn't really hurt that much...so YAY! Then, anesthesiologist and my nurse (who I love dearly! She's awesome!) took me into another room (the "operating" room) and had me lie down on a bed with wonderful stirrups (yeah...not so comfortable). I met the embryologist (the person who collects the eggs and takes care of them through out fertilization), saw my doctor, asked a few questions, and then they let me have the drugs! I started feeling pretty good, and have no idea when I finally "zonked" out. Procedure only took a about a half an hour. I was back in the other room, and just wanted to sleep (that was the drugs talking). Stayed there for about half an hour and then walked out to the waiting room and Sung took me home. :)

I was pleasantly surprised that I did/do not feel as awful as I thought I would. I'm a little sore when I sit up straight or stand (and when I try to pee...dang bladder muscles pushing on the poor ovaries!), but otherwise I'm doing pretty good! Just taking it easy so as not to strain anything.

Oh and the news everyone's waiting for...we got 15 eggs! We don't know how many are mature yet...But, tomorrow we should find out how many were mature and how many were fertilized! Can't wait for the call!

Blood-work and Ultrasound #3

Had another appt today! I wanted to make a joke about IVF doctor's being part vampire with all the times they've taken my blood! Luckily, the office phlebotomist is AMAZING! I've definitely been spoiled having her take my blood.

So, the progress/results. Estrogen was about 759! Yay for it going up a good bit! Still have about 15 follicles. All growing a little more! 5 on left and 10 on right ovary (most around 10 mm, with 4 or 5 closer to 13mm). I was thinking about it, and I guess the follicles are about the size of peas right now. So I have about 15 peas "stuck" on my ovaries. Yeah...that's about how they looked! BUT, my right ovary DID look much more "full" this time!

I think I'm starting to "feel" things growing down there. It's like I can feel things getting "fuller". Pregnancy definitely must be weird...having a BIG thing growing in there!

Blood-work and Ultrasound #2

We (meaning I) got to see our little follicles today! We have about 14 or 15 growing! Seems so weird to say that high of a number (highest I've ever seen before today is about 6, after my second injections cycle). My ovaries didn't look that "full" for having that many follicles.

My estrogen was about 253 (good for this far along I guess...). I had about 5 follicles on my left ovary (4 measuring 5-7mm, 1 at 9mm). My right ovary had more follicles about 9 (3 measuring 9-10mm and the rest 5-7mm).

Hoping they all keep growing...nice and steady! Can't believe we're actually going through this!

Realistic, Not Optimistic

Going through this process has got me thinking. When we made the decision to go to IVF, I was very optimistic. I figured our solution would soon be realized. I pictured myself as being positive and everything would go perfectly.

I changed that view though. I said earlier that I've participated on a discussion board with other ladies all going through IVF in January. (What a support its been to be able to ask questions and reaffirm feelings about this difficult, stressful process!) But, I've seen different outcomes with each woman on there. (I'm scheduled for a late Jan egg retrieval/transfer, but a lot of ladies have already gone through their's.) We've had ladies make it to egg retrieval and then not be able to transfer any embryos or have to freeze them for later. We've had a lady have 40 eggs retrieved and 20 of those fertilized (and hopefully all extra are healthy enough to be frozen)! We've had ladies retrieve 10 eggs, but only 1 embryo survives for transfer. So many different outcomes. So, its changed my perspective.  I'm hoping for the best but preparing for whatever might happen. I'm trying to be realistic, and trusting in Someone who knows my plan better than myself. :)

Blood-work Visit #1

Had my first bloodwork appt this am. Estrogen level was at around 49. (Baseline appt, estrogen was at 23). Things are progressing! Grow follies, grow!

Yup. I was spoiled.

So, we've brought out the big guns now! Stimming (as we call taking the stimulation drugs in the infertile world) has begun!! With this new protocol, the shots are a bit more difficult than the injections I did last fall. I have to mix 3 different drugs together, and two of the drugs I need half vial doses which causes me to have to do all kinds of math and manipulation while mixing... 1 cc of saline in Bravelle vial, 1 cc in Menopur vial. Take 1/2 vial and put it into another vial. Repeat with other med. Refridgerate remaining two half-vials for tomorrow. Mix all other vials together. Top it off with 5 units of Lupron and there's my medication cocktail!

Add to that shot, one baby aspirin, 1 prenatal vitamin, and an antibiotic three times a day and I'm a walking pharmacy!

But, like the title said...I've been totally spoiled. Lupron shots were easy...these new ones suck...the needle is about the same size, but the amount of liquid being injected it alot greater. But, 2 shots down and no bruises! I'll take that!

I have an appt monday for bloodwork and ultrasound, so here's to hoping for good hormone levels and beautiful growing follicles!

(oh and I was going to not publish in "real time" --or as it happens, because I'm a little paranoid about people asking about what's going on and knowing my "schedule", but I'm sure there aren't many of you out there, so I'll go ahead and keep the few out there "in the know")

January Schmmamuary...

I've been posting in this IVF support group/discussion board and I feel like I need a recall on blogger in order to remember my last posts! Hmmm...maybe that means it's been too long since I posted! So, if any of this is repetitive...forgive me!

So...January has been a little bit of a hellish month for me (forgive my language, but it's the only way to describe it). I was really trying to get healthy because we knew we were going to do the IVF in Jan. Well...who would have thought trying to get healthy would make me sick!! grr...

I was sick with a sinus bug from before Thanksgiving until Christmas. I went to the dr at the beginnning of Dec and got an antibiotic hoping to "wipe it out fast" and get on to being healthy.

So, I start feeling better around Christmas finally, and then right after the New year's I start having GI issues. Nothing debilitating, but annoying and a little concerning. At first, I think I just messed up my eating schedule and habits over the holidays and that's it. SO, I try eating better and working out. GI issues don't go away...I wait about a week and a half. I had to go to Boston for work and visited my sister while I was there. I was to the point where it would hurt a few hours after eating, so I was already not enjoying eating food. Well, my sister talked me into making an appt with my GI dr to get things figured out (especially before we started all the "hardcore" IVF stuff). The GI dr just happen to have a cancellation thurs afternoon (the afternoon after I flew back to HSV--he's usually booked AT LEAST a month in advance). So, I go in and he asks some questions. It's been a couple years since I've seen him, so he says let's schedule a colonoscopy just in case test results are inconclusive...AND he wants to do...a stool sample (UGH!!) to see what's going on (whether it's bacterial).

Let me just say...I NEVER want to have to do that again. So, I think "yuck" and start freaking out, because the dr also recommended postponing IVF depending on results from the sample... I think "nope, not postponing unless I HAVE to". So I go home with my "at home kit" and dread the night away. Well I ended up also spending the night waking up doubled over in pain every 2 hours! I was MISERABLE! I wake up and go to work, call the dr since it's a new symptom, call the IVF clinic with an update, wait to hear the news from the test results, and still curl up every less than 2 hours in pain (while at work might I add).

GI nurse FINALLY calls late in the afternoon and says they didn't get the results and won't until Monday, because I dropped the sample off at one location and the dang currier didn't pick it up in time to get it processed that day!! But, the dr thinks it might be bacterial, so he calls in a prescription for antibiotics and one for the pain I'm in.

(Oh and did I mention that I'm already giving myself daily shots along the way...that was fun traveling with shots!) ;)

Well, I think Friday night might have been the worst night of my life (with Thursday as a close second, of course). I felt like I had NO control over my body. I felt absolutely horrible. But, after a nice blessing from DH and a friend, I did get some sleep and was able to rest and "recover" over the weekend. Monday was an off work day, so I got to rest for free that day too! And, the tests came back that I had Clostridium Difficle (or C. diff. in medical lingo). Sung was SHOCKED when he heard. (They have to suit up in masks and body suits at the hospital for any patients with it...) I was just glad that I was on the right meds and could still go through IVF! Dr said it's caused by taking antibiotics, so the antibiotics in December probably resulted in the infection. I guess your intestinal bacteria (both good and bad) gets wiped out by the antibiotics and the C. diff. just grows and thrives in there and causes all the problems...

So long story short, bad month caused by last bad month, but good because we're still on for IVF! (I'll catch up on the IVF related posts soon!)

Time to begin

So, I started shots yesterday! Woot! The dr changed our protocol again. Now I'm on the Lupron leuprolide (sp??) protocol... What it means is instead of waiting until Aunt Flo comes (we call that our baseline appt) to start shots, I have to start them a couple weeks earlier. So, I'm on Lupron (a drug that suppresses your ovaries and makes it so all the eggs grow around the same rate/stay the same size). Let me tell you...it's a BABY shot! My shots before were about 1 cc of fluid. These lupron shots are like a FRACTION of a cc! So nice...so spoiled...

So, here's to letting the process begin!

Need to Get the Crafty Bug Back!

For the past 6 months or so, I have absolutely NOT been feeling crafty. AT ALL. I have even given away bought cards (ouch...that hurts), because I have not felt like making an even simple birthday or thank you card. So...I decided last weekend that I'd put together my unopened stamp sets I've bought and try to get crafty this year! I periodically follow a couple stamping blogs, and happened to get a little inspired for the Hand Stamped Sentiments #99 challenge.

So, here's what I made.

(Needed a birthday card for my little sis!)