You can sit beside me when the world comes down;

Gran, I cannot afford to lose you to the eternity of pain.
Dear Lord, convince her of Your love, please?


We need to remember to pray for our families.

PAE Personality Feedback Report

So... a lot of people in school took this psychometric assessment thing by PSC a while back in the hols, and received our personality feedback report last week. And uh, I'm appalled by the results. Hahahahaha! Quite strange. How accurate are personality tests?!

Of which, allow me to highlight a few lines that were extremely jarring and rather perplexing. 

(When your distinctive characteristics work to your disadvantage) "... More cynical individuals might doubt the sincerity of your warmth." 

WAH this made me super sad okay! On hindsight though, this is actually really rather true... Sometimes I get a cynical feeling from people, like they don't like me. It's awful though!

(WAH THIS ONE.) "Highly self-controlled, you may appear to lack a sense of spontaneity and fun."

I think people who've worked with me before will O: also! I thrive in spontaneity! I think! *wave of injustice floods over* Sidenote to this, I think part of this spontaneity stems from my goldfish memory. Which has led to brilliant last-minute, weird ideas that work.

"... You may also be impatient with worriers."

No wonder Chinwen drives me nuts. Worrywart. Vanessa Jovin Lum also, that one.

"... prefer to focus on conventional wisdom and knowledge when solving problems... you are about as imaginative as most people."

I disagree. (N) Would think that several instances through Guides/PSL/Floorball & other projects would substantiate this! Define conventional, anyone? Anyway. I have an overactive imagination. Usually useful, for funny ideas and fun stuff. Sometimes in the way, because I think too much. I enjoy visualising and mentally running through things. Imagination is my best friend... Actually no, Google is...

"... You will usually speak up rather quickly once you have arrived at a conclusion."

I keep too many opinions to myself. Sometimes I wish I had more courage to vocalise what I think/feel. Too many unexpressed thoughts come and gone. That said, I thank God for being able to listen. Listening is an absolutely important and critical skill. Which some people need to learn, hah. Listening meaning really listening. What's the point of pretending to listen when you've got your pre-conceived set of notions and really, you're not paying attention to what the person is saying.

All that said, here's a part which I felt's really kinda true!

"Avoiding confrontation, you are often deferential to others. (I REALLY don't like conflicts and confrontations. Escapist? Rather.) You are inclined to forgive and forget, but may be excessively tolerant and submissive. (Very true.) You prefer cooperation to competition. (Anytime! What's the point!) Those who consider you weak may severely underestimate your willingness to patiently wait for advantageous or opportune moments. You tend to be concerned with and moved by the needs and wants of others, emphasizing the human side of policies. (The difference one person can make...)"

"You procrastinate and become distracted about as much as the average person."

Actually... no leh! Hahahahaha! More than average...

"You thrive in most group settings and may experience some frustration if required to work alone."

Really. Cannot. Study. Alone. Part of it is because many a times I don't understand/get stuck. Then inertia sets in.

"Most of the time, you believe that others can be trusted to do as they say. You are not naive, but you are willing to give others the benefit of the doubt until shown otherwise."

This is absolutely true. And some of the friends have told me in my face I'm being stupid. EH. Read okay. "YOU ARE NOT NAIVE." Hahahahaha! Though... this trust has been abused and misplaced on several occasions. Which is rather twanging. But we move on in time. And oh yeah, "giving others the benefit of the doubt" is really, something I've picked up from Ms Teng. And it is really important, actually. Hasty judgements... are hasty and judgemental. Unfair too, no matter how founded the claim may be. That's what I believe, at least...

(WAH. THIS ONE.) "Some would describe you as on the boring or bland side."

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( SAD MAX. :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( IM NOT BORING, LEH.

Okay hahahahha this post is mainly to make a mental note to myself and to address my grievances because I cannot tell the personality test people that "Y U liddat?!" Hahahahaha! 

'Ve got a lot of instagram shots to share! Will get 'em from the phone and post 'em up here soon (: For now, though...

Blessed seventeenth, Debbie Loone Balloone my wonderful clone (:

I lub chu deep deep!

And Monday beckons. Press on. 

I run to You.

When you are lazy to express your thoughts coherently in paragraphs, this is what you do.

• Awesome afternoon yesterday, studying with the team and going for an evening run with Hazel. Dinner after was wonderful too (: We managed to spend within the single red dollar bill we brought, with twenty-cents to spare! Spaghetti and mango ice plus fruit juice and sugar cane. Life is bliss... 
• ... Kinda.
• Today was spent with Debs in the afternoon and I love my clone very much. I think it's quite cool when we wear our school uniform and go out together. Like quite cool eh! Hehe! We tried the Strawberry Soy Cream at Starbucks; 'twas rather refreshing on the first few mouthfuls but the cream's kinda overpowering and I wished the strawberries didn't taste so jam-y. Going back to chocolate and Java Chip on the next visit. Aha.
• Dinner-ed with Liz and Gloria. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy that Glo's backkkkkkk. Man, it's been close to 2 years. But thankful that He's seen their family and her wonderfully over in Canada. Life in Canada really sounds so unreal. Education should be like that. We need to understand that.
• Talked to Coach and saw the juniors today. Coach you're awesome... Come september, pick up the pen again and write the beginning of chapter 2 of this novel. Really. Talked about something exciting, post A's. We'll see! The teammates were super excited when they heard about it. I think it sounds pretty darn cool. 
• Called Shannon. Hahahaha. Had a nice short chat over the phone. Love phone conversations! Though I seldom really talk to people on the phone now. Used to chat with Ariel over the phone for >1 hour back in primary school days. SMS-wise I'm a real slow and inaccurate typer on the phone. Especially now with this keypad-less device! And the iOS autocorrect is not helpful. At all! Period.
• Oh yes! RHD celebrations today! How could I forget about this? Royston Tan came to speak to us and shared with us his documentary-film Old Places. It was absolutely, absolutely, wonderfully beautiful. I thought I would've gotten bored with the repeated quaint style featuring place after place. Plus the sound quality wasn't the best either. But every one of it was captured so beautifully it was really very difficult to get disinterested. We're losing so much of our heritage. So beautiful. Run-down, old, tattered, irrelevant, slow, less attractive... but how awfully charming and so much to discover. I promise myself to take time to explore all these lost places when I've got time to in the - hopefully near - future. These trips will be perfect for long walks and good conversations and wonderful memories. And for photos too! Exploration awaits... I hope these places won't be gone before I get a chance to visit them! Our future generations need to experience this charm for themselves too!
• Tired. Adios!

Andddddddddd. Blessed birthday, Shaowen! Lots of love from all of us! (:

1. Post 15 facts about yourself.

Long overdue, but here goes - kicking this out of my draft dashboard.

Uh, this is so weird hahahaha but I won't post lame stuff like Shann. Doubt there'll be 15 but okay here goes...

1. I wear pyjamas at home.
They're so comfy! But uh. PJs are reserved for when there are no guests at home. Hahahhaha.

2. I had a Facebook account before.
Actually did set up an account before, before Facebook became popular. But I soon left cos I didn't like the interface and there wasn't anyone on Facebook yet. Oh but look the whole world's on it now LOL.

3. 'Ve never bought any album before.
Hahahahaha. I'm serious. I've never spent money buying a single CD/album/whatever. Never been into star-chasing and stuff. Money always seems to be spent more on food than on anything else. And with youtube now there isn't much of a need. That said, I think I would spend money on quality music to listen to next time when I earn my own cash.

4. Cantonese was my first spoken language, then Chinese; English was the last language I picked up.
Used to stay with my grandma as a kid, so I naturally picked up Canto. Conversed with my parents in Mandarin subsequently, until I went to school and "One day you just started speaking English" according to mom.

5. I love soup. And steamed egg.
I cannot live without soup. Soups are essential at dinnertime! And steamed egg is a definite dish on the plate when ordering caifan. The steamed egg that mixed veg rice sells in the school canteen is pretty good. My grandma cooks the best soup and the best steamed egg. I adore my grandma.

6. Fractured my left elbow in Primary 1 and my left hand couldn't touch my shoulder for quite a while after that.
Took a tumble while pretending to be a shepherd at home with a stick. I can touch my shoulder now though, don't worry.

7. I dream a lot.
And no, not in the daydream sense. I think I have sleep issues hahaha. I'll dream and dream and dream about normal life when I go to sleep and it's really weird because when I wake up it feels like the world suddenly becomes very quiet and I just went through a day. It's annoying.

8. Not into rock and metal music.
Seriously. They're noisy.

9. I want to travel in the future!
Go to many countries and see the world and learn about the people and cultures there. It will be awesome... Anyone interested in joining me?

10. I think it's cute and awwwwwww when guys cry/tear.
Hahahahahahaha! Seriously! A few of my closer friends know that I melt when male leads cry or send their girlfriends dresses to wear to some ball. HAHAHAHA. I love those scenes in the korean or taiwan dramas man! But of course not those silly nonsensical crying. There are different categories.

11. I am drinking Lipton tea now.

12. Absolutely love concept shops and novel stuff.
And it's awesome how many concept brands are springing up all over! Museums and exhibitions are pretty awesome too... Oh. And I browse reallyyyyy sllllllooooowwwwlllllyyyy... Which is why Sarah makes a good partner-in-crime to go visit these places because she's into stuff like that too and she understands, hahaha! The only downside is that the merchandise at these vintage and concept shops now are grossly overpriced! Urgh! This is where Economics concepts come into play.

13. I can do accents. I don't know how.
Give me some time to listen to it repeatedly for a while... And I should be able to pick up some bits here and there... Maybe I should go into theatre or Mediacorp... Caldecott princess...

14. I can't do standing board jump. Nor swim.
That's pretty self-explanatory. Not going to bother with SBJ anymore, since there's no more NAPFA. (Unless I go join the army AHAHAHHA.) But yes I will want to learn how to swim because it is a rather essential lifeskill. And will definitely come in useful in relation to point (9). Or perhaps I should perpetually carry a floatation device with me all the time.

15. I don't know my blood type.
I seriously have no idea. It's either my dad's or my mom's. If I get into a car accident or something and urgently need a blood transfusion, I'm a goner.

Okay there. Finally out of the dashboard. There are too many half-written drafts written and brushed aside. It is 12:23am, the dawn of a Terrible Tuesday, but I think it won't be so terrible today. Studying and jogging with the teammates after school today. Looking forward to it!

And this week is rather special because of two people's birthdays. I know you're both reading this, ahahaha. Go and face the wall and reflect nao why must your birthdays be so close to each other?! HAHAHA.

Oh yes. Harry Potter was quite an experience. Thanks to Yanquan's free tics. Rather interesting. The Voldermot (spelling?) dude died in my very first time watching Harry Potter. Quite a joke. I absolutely adore how Hermoine is so clever and cool. Oh yes. Fact #16 - I love it when the hero(ines) in the movie are girls! Super cool. Like in the Series of Unfortunate Events too. Awsum possum. I like Potter's mom, and his son, but not Potter himself. Was expecting Daniel Radcliff (How do you spell his name?) to be more handsome, because I always see girls screaming for him and all, but um. Maybe it was the screen resolution or something.

Chow.

I hear you breathing in/ Another day begins

Crazy tiring day today. Need to deal better with Tuesdays! Nonetheless very much thankful that He saw me through the day and the tiring journey home.

Stayed awake throughout the whole of Econs lecture today and understood what the lecturer was talking about. It was quite funny because our class didn't even fill up one row in the audi. The entire audi was looking rather empty. Econs tutorial was thankfully bearable too. Thank God for Zitian in class. She's incredibly patient explaining stuff to her noob pal yours truly.

And the world is a rather wonderful place, no matter how unwonderful life seems to be at time. Thankful for different people He's placed in my life, all of whom offer help, chuckle, sound advice and wake-up calls. Hazel, Caleb and Kinyip are/will be doing Math with me hopefully so hopefully sunnier days will be seen. Immensely thankful. Would pray to pass this on to others too, but most probably not in Math which falls way out of my capacities. Hahaha.

Studying with people is really keeping me going. Be it at clubhouse with the youths or in school with the trio TPZ (Tabby Phyllis Zitian) or teammates. The feeling of everyone mugging and studying/doing work together is quite heartening, because I don't feel so discouraged or grrrrrrrrrr or zzzzzzzzz when I hit the books. Nap less too. I sleep twenty thousand hours away when I stay home and struggle awake while studying. The bed has an alluring charm.

Oh, and the refrigerator too.
Debs and I were talking about our habitual trips to the fridge at home, and the almost-reflex action of opening and scanning and closing of the fridge.

Anyway the team's going to have daily/regular study and jogging sessions together. Today's studying was productive. Though I was really tired and hungry and bummed out from the day. Completed the Math worksheet with Hazel's help. And it was a good time of goofing around and talking with the teammates during our breaktimes. We promised to keep each other in shape throughout this entire stop-training-mug-and-eat-and-grow-fat-and-lose-your-stamina period leading up to A's. Team jogs will be good. 'm excited!

Wanted to blog more, but I forgot what I wanted to say. This is it for now. Wednesday's timetable's a lot more merciful, thankfully. Press on, everyone!

Chow.

No smileys/emoticons in this post! I'm making my writing more sophisticated! Hahahaha!
Okay maybe not.
HAHA.

When you feel like running away.

When will this ever end?

Sick and tired of nonsense.

-

This is from Shannon's, who got it from her sister's. Will get about doing some of the components when time/boredom allows, haha.

1) Post 15 facts about yourself.
2) Write about the best friends you’ve had over the years.
3) If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you want to do?
4) Write about a period of time in your life where things seemed to be constantly going good.
5) Write about a period of time in your life where things were not so good.
6) When was the last time you cried? 
7) Upload a recent picture of you.
8) How do you feel today?
9) What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?
10) What’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?
11) Write about the best day of your life.
12) Write about the worst day of your life.
13) What are your plans for the future? Far and near.
14) Post your favorite book, favorite movie, favorite band, and favorite food.
15) Write about something you worry about a lot.
16) Name 2 significant people of your life and explain why.
17) Bullet your day.
18) Post one confession/secret.
19) Write about your last birthday and how you plan to spend your upcoming birthday.
20) Name 5 presents you wish to receive on your birthday.
21) How has your life changed over the past year?
22) What made you smile the most today?
23) Describe what you spend most of your time on.
24) How was your week been?
25) Write a letter to someone you miss. 
26) Write about something you once loved, but now despise. 
27) Where is somewhere you would want to visit?
28) If you had three wishes, what would they be?
29) Write about any particular habits/mannerisms that you have.
30) Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years?

Last paper tomorrow. Oohla!