This is where reality sets in

And you begin to wonder if dreams are really worth chasing.

I am laughing and crying and tearing and laughing now...

Reading your birthday cards :') Thank you STEPH SOO AND ROOSTERICE (YOU GUYS ARE, QUOTE SARAH, "AWESOME POSSUM" :D Aaaaaaaaaah you made me cry ): ) Wo de tian ah. :') So bittersweet. Thanks for putting in the extra effort to go through the mailbox! Mailed cards are so dang cool!

Btw, Chinwen, your handwriting sucks. Can totally see which are the parts of the card you made - -" Hehehehehehe. SARAH I LOVE THE DESIGN. AND I CAN'T USE A DSLR. WE CAN FIGURE TOGETHER. LINGXIN YOUR SILLY LAUGHTER IS RINGING IN MY HEAD NOW. HAI ROOSTERICE I L U (:

I am seventeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! :D Woohoo!!!

Seventeen's a really nice number. And since we'll all only be seventeen once, i promise to make full use of this one year of being seventeen. (: Oooh I should like, read Seventeen magazine or something. Oooooooh, bimbotic. - -" <:)

Anyway, THANK YOU <3 every single one of you who sent birthday wishes! My birthday falls at such a sucky time of the year, with promos in one week - -" ): BUT STILLLLLLLLLLLLLL <:) (Wellllllllll on the bright side, F1 Singapore Grand Prix crowned its champion on my birthday hahahaha :D)

Thanks for the thought and for remembering and for all your funny sms-es! All the virtual-SMSes-because-got-no-facebook-birthday-notification.... I'VE RECEIVED THEM TOO! :D I was smiling like a retard the whole of yesterday. (Special shoutout - HAI EVELYN I REALLY MISS YOU.)

And thank you to tyanquan for your cakeeeeeeeee and for our little escapade! It was so spontaneous, and so... you :D

hehe.

SIYAN OMG I LEFT YOUR PRESENT IN SCHOOL - -" SECOND TIME IT'S BEEN LOST IN THE DAY - -" okay i'll find it tmrw! <:)

And Billy, Beetha and Phanggggggggggggggggggg for your retarded shoe-bag (hehehehe)-pencil-case-whatever-it-is it's so cuuuuuuuuuuuute. So suitable. (Y) *cute little winky* Thank you Lee Xiao-en for your card (: You're a special friend :D

HEHEHE my "Day Out Coupon" hasn't been used yet... can't wait! Hehehehehe <:)

AND I THINK SOMEONE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY ): im still waiting for someone's birthday wish ((((((((: Will that someone see thissssssssssssssss :D





Thank God for an amazing seventeen years. My only birthday wish is that my grandma will come to accept Christ, and that's all I ask for (:


Yay the end (: Hello to a brand new year, I'm seventeen! :D :D :D

phyllis-ng-whee-oh-wheet this is for you!

HAHAHAHA photos from... er, my last day at school before leaving for Australia. 

In audi before Math lect.

After Math lect (:

Phang, Beetha, Billy (:

Phyllis: Come Tabby I take photo of you!

Tabby resists.

Xiao En tries to subdue Xiao-en.

Xiao-en turns away.

(Hahahaha for those who don't know right, Tab and I share the exact same Chinese name.)

Like, 李晓恩 <:)

Xiao-en is subdued by Xiao En :D

Phyllis the Ownself-Take-Ownself Photographer Pro shows you the way.

Central Plaza.

:D

Underexposed, but quite cool.

Phyllis and Dennis.

Okay byeeeeeeeeeeee :D 

PS, YAY YES! The answer is Ben! :D Ben's the teacher, I can't rem the other two - -" Teo, Billy and N all got it right!!! :D Congrats!!! :D You don't win any prize! :D :D :D

Buenas noches.

Goodnight in Spanish, according to the translator widget <:)

A Primary 6 Math problem. And Dim Sum Dollies.

If your brain isn't already fried from mugging for Promos/EOYs/Prelims/A's... why not have a go at this simple P6 Math sum? (: Taken from my mom's kids' worksheet hahaha :D

Among Andy, Ben and Cedric, one of them is a teacher, the other two are a doctor and a policeman.


(a) Cedric is older than the policeman.
(b) Andy and the doctor are not of the same age.
(c) The doctor is younger than Ben.


Question: Who is the teacher?


Heuristic skills - logical reasoning - they call it. (Y)
LEAVE YOUR ANSWERS IN THE TAGBOARD I'LL POST THE ANSWER SOON! :D


And when you're done solving the sum... sing along with the DIM SUM DOLLIES!!! My goodness I just heard the song for the first time over the online news! Haven't had the chance to hear it at the MRT stations yet! I actually pretty like this song leh, hahahaha! Yao you ai xin, cai hui kai xin, kai xin, kai xin!

Onward to a more gracious society! (:

Photos from Universal Studios sooooooooooooooooooooon! IT WAS AWESOME TTM! :D

Salut! (:

leech, crocodile. Cookie monster.

Though Cookie Monster is rather cute.

okay this post is quite dark.

I... seriously don't know what's wrong with me - -" So anyway Term 4's started. Monday timetable is just bad, bad. Every Monday we are just bummed out by how terrible Mondays are. - -" Tutorials running for >2 hours should be banned. People get brain-dead. On Tuesdays when our break gets eaten up by make-up lessons, it's zzz - -" Oh but the week gets better though (: After surviving Mondays and Tuesdays. <:)

Term 3 was a severe downward spiral for me. Got a bit disillusioned. Actually I think I still am. And it sucks because Promos are er coming in i don't know, 3 weeks? Or is it 2? Either one. I need to find momentum to pick myself back up in terms of studies and I need to find it FAST. And that counts picking up pieces from backlog work and clean, untouched lecture notes (of which I fell asleep in - slept in ALOT of lectures in Term 3 - -") (Thank you classmates who copied notes for me hahaha.) PLUS readings. The amount of readings to do blows me away. Geog and Lit combined = (Y).

Sept hols came and went in a flash. It felt like the shortest school holidays ever. Didn't do much, really. Wanted to draw up a holiday plan, until now also haven't draw. Winner. There are many, many, many drafts sitting in my blogger dashboard. Everytime I blog I end up abandoning the post halfway. Maybe this post will get abandoned later too. I don't know. I sound so sian.

I really don't know what I want in life and what I want to achieve for myself. Like, what I really want. I'm not aiming high for Promos, because I don't dare to. Because something tells me inside I won't reach the goals I set out to set for myself. Usually, I don't. I wish I could just go to God and ask Him what He wants me to do and that He'll just dispatch me there. Then there won't be this long, painful process of struggling so hard, doing something I'm not good at and I don't really like.

(Yes gold gets burned by fire before it shines/glitters/whatever but this fire is really hot I don't like it one bit.)

And recently I keep bottling up all these negative thoughts - -" Negative thoughts mainly about myself, really. Sometimes I really have an issue with myself. Like, "Xiaoen what's your freaking problem?!" kind of issues. But I don't know. Maybe I think too much.

It's good to think, because thinking lets you see things you missed. I... don't get insensitive people. Their insensitiveness annoys and baffles me. But if you overlook their insensitivity they're fine. More or less.

What defines success? And what makes you happy?

A bit incoherent, this post, like my Lit essays. Promos are just around the corner.

J2s are having Prelims now. I look at them and I feel really, really scared for next year. I've never been brilliant in studies and academics (though I really wish I was) (like, maybe more hardworking too) and somehow I see myself STILL struggling before The Big Exam in 2011. Notice the writer's use of the word 'still'. Trying hard to erase the vision and work hard to alter and carve out my life. But inertia is great and somehow, I tend to focus on greater/other things in life.

My mom says it's okay if I don't wind up going to the U, really. Just that it'll be a bit hard to get into teaching, since they're raising the standards/educational criteria for teachers. Life is tough.

Actually most things in life are going great, but the few which aren't just seem to overshadow and cast this gloomy doomy shadow over everything else.

Poo!

Anyway, MAF on Sat was great! <:) It was my first MAF, and the Hwachong Spirit is really quite amazing. Pretty darn cool. And fuzzy-wuzzy. SODACHE - When everyone sang the songs together I got goosebumps it was really nice (: (The singing. Not the goosebumps.) And the dancing was just retarded and fun as usual, I danced the guy part and partnered Tab. It was pretty cool. Thank God for the fine weather on MAF! There were weather forecasts of rain, but the weather was beautiful that night. Floorball sold I <3 HC candy (: It was quite cool (: But I felt bad when I told people it was $4, 'cos it's really quite pricey. But the extra dollar really could go a long way in the team funds, and people still bought in the end, so yeah. <:) Saw a few juniors who came for MAF, had a pretty good time talking to them - promised them the few of us will go back for ATC. Hopefully holiday schedule works out. I wanna go for PSL camp too. Can't wait to start training. Really want to get better. On another hand, my ankle's been acting up again lately. It's really frustrating 'cos I haven't sprained it at all this year. (Hahahaha better not say so early - it's been sprained at least once for the past 3 years. - -" (Y) And the year's not over yet.) Hope the pain will go away. Once and for all. Begone, ankle! (Amputate hahaha.)

Okay I'm going back to work! This post sounds so ranty I'm sorry ): Read the post below (kidsgivemehope) it's really cute and cool and makes people feel happier instantly, the feeling you get with pinky candy floss, fluffy clouds and many, many bubbles. And $10.90 stuffed, puny keychains. I think I'm really a bit disillusioned. Need to cut down on my spending. Seriously. Diminishing blue notes into purple ones and gold coins is just... bad. Other random stuff: Today I learnt that my favourite clouds are called altocumulus clouds!!! :D And I learnt other cloud names too <:) Hehe.

Kay byebye. 12:28am on a Tuesday morning. The Mentalist is showing in about 21 hours time. Hehe.

kidsgivemehope.com

Today, an 8-year-old that I babysit left his grandmas house to go back home.

He ran down the hill towards his house, got across the yard, then suddenly turned around and ran all the way back up the hill. 

He ran inside, gave his grandma a big hug, said "I love you Nana!" and kissed her on the cheek. 

His heart GMH

I was riding the bus home and this little boy came over to me and asked if he could sit next to me.

I said yes. He sat down, and asked if I had a boyfriend. I told him I did. Then he said. "Oh, will you be my bestest friend then?" 

I laughed and told him yes. When the ride ended he gave me a huge hug!! 

Random cute kids on the bus GMH!

I went to Africa to help build an Orphan school when I saw a kid sitting on his own.

I walked up and gave him half of my sandwich, and he ran away.

Secretly following him around the corner, I saw him break it into small pieces and share it with his whole class of 20.

Sharing the little he had GMH.

This morning I was working in the hospital with children who have terminal diseases. We were decorating masks. 

A six year old boy, dying of neuroblastoma, wrote on his mask "Save Haiti - They need help" 

His ability to see the world beyond his own disease GMH

A young boy walked proudly into the restaurant that i wait tables on with his grandmother, ordered two seats and clumsily carried his grandmothers purse for her to their table. 

When i asked him what the special occasion was, he smiled and said "it's my grandma's birthday and since grandpa is in heaven, I'm her date!" 

Loving children GMH.

I work in a children's retail store. I'm overweight and never feel pretty.

One day a little girl tapped me on the side, smiled at me and said "You are beautiful! You look like a movie star." 

I thanked her and went into the back and cried. I've never felt prettier. She GMH!

Last year my daughter went up to my father and said "Grampy, when will you stop smoking?" 

He didn't know what to say. So he said "I'll stop when you stop drinking bottles." 

So she went to the kitchen and took all her bottles and put them in the garbage.

To this day my father hasn't touched a cigarette again. She GMH and saved my father.

I have very prominent scars from years of cutting on my legs.

I wore shorts today for the 1st time in years. 

A little boy came up and told me "Wow, you're real brave and strong if you have so many battle scars. Next time let me fight for you. Pretty girls shouldn't go to battle." His love GMH.

The night before prom, my friends and I all went to dinner.

They are all tall, thin, gorgeous girls. And I'm not. 

A little girl ran up to me, grinning, and said "Cinderella?" 

I couldn't stop smiling. She made me feel beautiful. She GMH.

A 13 year old girl was dying of a rare blood disease.

She needed a blood transfusion and her 5 year old sister was a match. The doctors told the little girl and she said it was okay. 

When they were finished taking her blood she looked up in astonishment and said, "Wait you forgot the rest of it!"

She thought she had to give ALL her blood. She GMH.

I was reading about a little kid whose mom told him the key to life was happiness. 

When he was in school the teacher asked them to write down what they wanted to be when they grew up. He said happy. 

They said he didn't understand the assignment. He said they didn't understand life. 

My generation GMH

My daughter goes to kindergarten, and there is a boy there who is blind.

She didn't understand what this meant, so I explained. 

The next day when I picked her up, I found her sitting across from the boy with her eyes closed, describing what trees looked like. 

The boy was grinning from ear to ear. GMH.

I work with kindergarten children, and when a little girl wet her pants, we decided to give her dress up clothes to wear.

She was very upset and embarrassed so a little boy in the class put on a Cinderella dress and held her hand the rest of the day, saying "look - everyone's laughing at ME!" 

His kindness gmh

Today I was at a store, a little boy asked the cashier if he could "buy the lottery."

The cashier, knowing that he was not old enough, asked why. 

He said he wanted to win money to help his mom get better. His mom is dying from Breast Cancer. 

Kids like him GMH

I am a teacher for second graders. 

This past week we've been learning about facts and opinions. 

I said the statement "You are beautiful." A little girl raised her hand and said it was a fact. 

When I told her no she said, "Everybody is beautiful. No matter what, they are beautiful." 

Little kids like that GMH.

Today I was taking a walk. 

I fell and hurt my arm. A little girl came running towards me and started to dab the arm with a tissue. 

The little girl smiled at the me and said "Try not to get hurt again because i might not be here for you." 

Children like that GMH.

A lady at my church died from breast cancer.

That night, her husband walked into their 2 year old daughter's room. She had her hand raised in the air.

He asked her what she was doing.

"I'm holding hands with Mama." 

Her innocence GMH

A few months ago, I was awaiting the arrival of one of my flights at the airport in Atlanta.

While walking down the airport corridor, a little boy stopped where he was, told his mother to hold his backpack, and saluted me. 

I am an American soldier, and this boy gives me hope.

A mother was going to have her baby aborted. 

At the hospital, she spoke to the doctor of the abortion in a hallway when a 3 year old girl ran over. 

She said, "Please don't. She could be my friend." 

15 years later and that once little girl is the best friend I could ever have. She GMH.

Today, my friend's 3 year old brother lost his battle with cancer.

The last thing he said to him was, "I'm afraid to leave, because I'm afraid the people that I love will cry." 

He hated seeing people cry, even though he knew he was sick, he was afraid to make the people he loved cry. 

Zander your strength and passion, GMH.

The cutest things kids do. Bittersweet (:

gary the snail says, "mao~"

Whoo! New layout/background. Lovelovelove Blogger's new template features and updated editor. They've become clever and gone all artsy. Me likes. (Y)

Off to get some important stuff done. Will be back! Mentalist tonight woohoo! :D

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~