happy three friends (:

410 BBQ '10 (:

too many photos, too little time. another day!

The best way to get something done is to begin.

People are slowly crashing out from JC life - you see people slowly slipping away, homework piles getting bigger, walking zombies, deadlines getting pushed, tutorials undone...

Urgh.

'm currently slightly backtracked in terms of work; haven't caught up with Geog yet - it seems like an impossibility, really. I can feel myself slowly slipping away and draining out too, it's not good.

Anyway, learnt a new abbreviation today, SOL. Sick of life. But no, am not sick of life. Not yet.

Tests have been straight failures all the way so far... Yes, on one hand, it's normal. On the other, it calls for a need to start working. All are a few marks away from a Pass, so that's some consolation in a warped sense.

23 days to Nationals. We're going to run 2.4 every single morning. Target time = max. 14 mins. Tell me, how? Not cut out for sports at all. But not giving up yet.

I hate feeling tired. Why must we feel tired? The logical answer is that humans feel tired so that we can rest. But what if there's no time for rest!!! At all! It doesn't make sense.

I am going to backpack and lead a kampong life one of these days.

'm gibbering... and am off to do PI for PW. Refer to the title.

Time check- 11:12pm. We can do this.



Till life gets better.

in love with... teammates.

(:

My Grandmother.

Tomorrow is the birthday of my favourite person in the whole wide world.

My grandma's been the pillar of my life, and our family, since our coming into existence.

She is the one who stands by every one of us, no matter what befalls. She is the one who raised 3 boys and a girl all by herself during the gloomy days in the past, enduring and making it through hard times of making ends meet.

Gran is the one who wakes up before day break every single day to go to the market and buy ingredients for dinner, the one who supervises the cooking of dinner, even when she is sick and ill - because she believes in putting a good meal for the family, the one who refuses to eat until the last member of the house comes home - so that she can accompany him/her to have dinner.

Feeding me with - what's that? Char Kueh Teow?? 

Kidding, it's the angle. I don't think I was old enough for solids yet.

Oh but look at my greedy, pleading eyes. Hahahaha!

Grandma makes my favourite soups in the whole wide world. Nobody's soups can match up to hers. Ever.

Grandma taught me Cantonese, and fed me with Scott's Emulsion when I was young. (: (I super love Scott's Emulsion!) She sang me songs on rainy days with thunder and lightning, and when I was sick and down with fever. The song went along the lines of  “不要咳，不要咳。给猫咳，给狗咳，不要给晓恩咳⋯⋯” Something like that. Over and over, till I dozed off.

Ok this one's real (:

You were always there for me when I burst into tears.

Gran ALWAYS cries when anyone goes overseas. Especially my cousins and I. Her cry is one out of fear, somehow. She'll always fear not seeing us ever again; it's a worry, a too-precious kind of love. Her crying makes you want to cry too.

But I'll sing you a song, don't cry (:

Gran's been relatively healthy all along; she eats lots of garlic and ginger and vegetables, and her soups have no salt. At all. Ultimate. Her soups are authentic Cantonese-style, boiled the entire day before serving. Super love.

DON'T ask what I was wearing.

Don't.

But a pretty baby can carry anything off, anyway.

But Gran hasn't been in too good a shape these days. Her memory is getting very, very bad, and so is her eyesight. Coupled with the back and foot problem she's had for quite a while. She refuses to say anything even when she is in pain. She'll just sit on her arm chair by the window and say she's fine.

Nowadays, she keeps calling me "toffee", calling toffee "xiaoen"... mixing up everybody's names and walking into things/falling down...

Just as you held my hand, I'll hold yours.

The deepest, greatest, darkest fear in my heart, the one which I pray so earnestly for every night, is that Grandma will pass away before accepting Christ. I really cannot imagine, neither can I bear to imagine what will happen. Tears start flowing every time I try to think about it. It's so frustrating because God seems to be taking His time. Then I start to wonder, what if He doesn't reach her in time?; what if she doesn't reach Him in time? Gran is the greatest, most selfless, most noble person in the world, to me. But there is only one route to an eternity of joyful rest. What if...?

But all things are perfect in Your time. Dear Lord, please touch Gran's heart one day, so that when she passes (Please please please please please, not any time soon, I really want her to see my six children. And nurture them like she has nurtured me), so that when she passes she will be by Your side, enjoying the much-needed rest and honour she so very much deserves. Please listen to this prayer, Amen.

Sometimes I think quietly to myself - I'm willing to give up my life in exchange for her salvation. Gran and I will spend our eternity together in heaven's campus next time (:

Sigh.

I love you, Gran (: Have a wonderful birthday.

Cherish.

ps,

Photos from 410 BBQ up soon, once I get 'em from Caijing! I've got a million thoughts bubbling over from the gathering. I miss my class ):

Say hello, it's the start of a brand new term.

One word: Re-focus.

Your strength, not mine.
Your will, not mine.

a figment of my imagination.

Hello y'all how're the holidays coming along! I am sick... again - -" First time sick this year, millionth time I'm sick in the holidays. Apparently the school term keeps viruses and bugs away, for me at least. Zzzzzz.

Anyway! I really haven't got much to post about, really. I need to get back to clear The Homework Pile. It's not getting any smaller!!! ): And I haven't got about catching up on my Geog readings yet sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. I am utterly and completely lost in Geog lessons currently. For both human and physical T_T

'm terrified of Term 2!! It looks really bleak, with PW and all the essays coming along. I hate essays. It just dawned upon me quite recently though, that 3 out of 4 H2 subjects I take require essay-writing. Zzzzz. Term 2 will not have any of the games and laughter and hoo-hah and dancing... And random holidays like CNY and A-level celebrations.

Hahahaha this is such a whiney post. Whiney whiney whiney whine whine whine.

Okay zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz byebye sorry for the lack of substance. (: Will reply all your tags soon!

Auf Wiedersehen (:

the End of the Beginning.

March hols are here! March hols are here! *cue joyous singing and tippity-tapping elves with tingling bell hats*

Thank God for the holiday (: Term 1 has been incredible. Incredibly fast, incredibly different, incredibly exhausting, but altogether pretty incredibly fulfilling. College life zaps the energy outta you like it's never been zapped before. Every single ounce of energy. I think Term 2 is gonna be a killer but ack, let's bask in the brief slow pace for now and look back at what we've all done.

Sunbeamm has been pretty much neglected, so has everyone else's blogs except die-hard bloggers like perhaps Yanquan's. Sorry for the lack of updates ): A twitter might appear sometime soon...

Anyways! I'm sitting here with my trusty planner now, looking at the things which've happened in the past 3 months, and squinting really hard at the new year resolutions set some time back. So many things have happened, gosh. Making new friends has been incredibly exciting. :D Getting to know new people, forming little groups of friends to study and makan with... Friendships have been pretty well-maintained too, actually! Except that everyone has so much less time for one another now. It's more of the occasional hi-bye and random 3 minute chit-chats. Still (:

January was spent pretty much in a holiday-breeze, we went out shopping, playing, yadayada... Then there was IP week and Open House and OG Orientation and collecting HC O's results and POOF January was over.

Hahaha! (:

February came along and lessons started more or less, fun introductory lectures and tutorials with games (Econs- Identity hahahaha) (: Work came in very very slowly, we were still thinking to ourselves, "Hey maybe it won't be so bad afterall!" We were kinda wrong, but aiyah. There was Chinese New Year (:D !!!), Week of Welfare, POP! (ARES = DANCE CHAMPS) ... We also had our first tests in Hwach; Math Lecture test, Lit Test etc... Of which all have been failures... T_T (Few marks away from pass - must work harder!) Had the first floorball training, Thinking Day Rally 2010 (Awesome job, Sec 4s) (Even more awesome job, Nanyang Guides)... Internal emcee audtition, Dramafeste...

POOF! We're now in March (:

This post is so fragmented and a bit pointless but hahahaha anyway.

March's kinda started to take its toll on us. I kinda digressed a bit here and there, sleeping hours started fluctuating again... Will start on the right foot in T2. Floorball training is really stretching my stamina-less cells to the max; need to train train train train trainnnnnnnnnnnnnnn a lot harder. Just got my stick with Joline and Celestine ytd, we now share an inside joke that tickles Joline pink - -" Oh and I named my stick Fatty. Don't be deceived by its name ok, got meaning one. Fatty <3 Whee oh and we got a free floorball also! :D I call mine Bluey (: Literally, 'cos it's blue. It's a really pretty shade of blue; clashes with my orange blade but I don't care :D

So childish, tsk.

Had Emcee Auditions at MOE on Wednesday. I really really really hope I'll get through! Praying really hard ): I think it went quite well, though! YOG YOG YOG YOG :D 

GP essay test was crash and burn. Er apparently Mr Kev told my parents my script's 满江红 (hahaha is it written like this??) Will be re-writing and emailing. REVENGGGGGGGGGGGE. Anyways I think Mr Kev's seriously quite cool. A tad too knowledgeable, though, it kinda freaks me out. But he's genuinely nice, and my parents have been raving about him since Parents' Day. Oh and after Parents' Day we went to Xin Wang for dinner/supper; the store manager was super good, she kept smiling and talking to us and smiling and smiling and she was really very nice. (Y) We need more service like that. Her name was Alice, can't remember her surname - Wong, perhaps? 

Okay I'm off now! Waking up at 6:15 tmrw T_T Friendly against Bukit Merah Sec. They were double champs of '09 if I'm not wrong. Need to step up on our game. A lot. Friendly on Friday against Swiss shocked the stamina-less cells outta me ): I really never imagined the game to be so... violent? Need to play with love man, play with love. Fell down once and scored twice :D Elbow still hurts, hope tmrw will be a better game. I want to be fit fit fit fit fittttttttttttt. And strong and steady like Evelyn Tan so that opponents will fall down when they knock me. Hahahaha (: Tmrw will be Fatty's first match. Come on Fatty let's conquer the world. HCFB <3

Oh I'm in Photog too, btw (: Mr Lee KY's ex-personal photographer will be coming to teach us next term, I'm really excited! :D A DSLR's still on my list. ): Sigh (: Dear friends do yall want to come together and get me one? *hinthint* September *hinthint*

Hahahahahaha okay till next time! Holiday homework list is really long, but let's be thankful and rest while we can! Have a good holiday (:

Adios!

after all our hopes and dreams have come and gone

May all who come behind us find us faithful

May the fire of our devotion light their way

May the footprints that we leave

Lead them to believe

And the lives we lead inspire them to obey

May all who come behind us find us faithful.

sometimes, you can't help but wonder...

"How to survive JC life!?!?" 

The road ahead is long. Long, my friends.

On a sidenote, here's an email from my GP tutor to the class... (this chunk was meant for the KI peeps.)

"Epiphenomenal Qualia" and "What Mary Didn't Know" are about qualia, phenomenology, epiphenomenal facts. These articles are useful for your lessons on physicalism/mentalism and empiricism/rationalism. Cottingham, a Cartesian scholar, discusses Descartes' third substance "Cartesian Trialism". You can use it to challenge the physicalism/mentalism and mind/body divide. The argument is simple: we do not, epistemologically speaking, see the world along these lines; we have an aprioristic idea of a third "hybrid substance" (to put it crudely).

?!?!


What am I doing in a half KI class ):


I think sunbeamm is going to pass away pretty soon. Zzzz....


Au revoir.

ONE MORE DAY to the weekend.

hang in there!

it's gonna be a long night... homework screaming, desperate for attention. off to bathe.

sorry for lack of updates recently. life's been either 1) not worth-posting 2) too tiring to post about.

writing in short sentences creates impact. me likes.

i need to scale the mountain of intellectuality. i felt very stupid the entire day today ):

adios. (:
bite your lip when you're tempted to say life sucks!