R.I.P.

My laptop died ):
Ohman~
Is it just me or is blogger really screwed? The posting layout is totally... - -"

Shucks lah, can't get over the death of my laptop. It didn't even bid me farewell ):

xiaoen…

just ranted to Yanquan. i still feel horrible deep down, but … anyways.

at the end of the day, none of this is going to be reflected anyway. my report book will only show a series of failures, my mathematics grades and how badly i’ve been doing for studies. so maybe we should all just quit.

O:

Eh eh eh! I just realised that the picture at the top-left corner of sunbeamm has a person lying down on the grassy fields! Have you ever realised there was a person?!! Oh man, I am disturbed.

Of things that never will leave us.

 

A Reunion.

 

Outdoor cooking with great grand seniors (graduating batches 03 – 05 (i think!)) and Ms Ng today. Cooooooooooolness. ‘Nuff said. 8)

Comma,

Batch07’s rising up to the challenge by the day, it’s amazing to see them rally together to support one another. ‘Ve been certainly quite impressed with some strengths a few of the less prominent ones have shown.

It’s a rite of passage that everyone will go through at some point or another; no one’s perfect, anyway. The strength of their batch is very different from that of ours, and as seniors our role’ll be to share with them past mistakes, takeaways, pass on all that’s been given to us, and support them in every other way, that they may take on and bring on a new era of leadership.

 

Leadership itself is a huge thing to think about. Through this four years, the growth we’ve all been through has been tremendously incrediblelous. Coming from GB, as a JL, as a drill commander, coming as a has-been prominent prefect… entering as a Sec 1, being part of the squad, humbling oneself to relearn the basics, making new friends, taking on leadership roles a step a time, as a monitress, psl, exco, patrol second, chief, fc, parade commander, company leader, president’s Guide…

And the journey ahead will be even longer. Thou shouldest not swell in thy own pride, but humble thyself. And all recognition, if any, should be given to God.

 

There’s a whaleful more to be said, but as for now, here’s to let all my juniors know that you will grow. You will. At the end of your four years, you’ll look back and be astonished at how much you did. Step out of perspectives, take things in your stride, make mistakes, learn from them, learn to love, learn to share, challenge yourself to take on a more pro-active role, be it towards your batchmates, your seniors, Guiders, juniors, classmates, class etc etc. ‘Ve come to realise that a lot of things in life come your way but you need to go seek and grab hold of it cos no one else can.

Not sure if I’m making a lot of sense! But yes.

 

I am excited for the entire trunk of things life has yet to teach and show me; life, as in life; big, diversified, depth-ful (weird word but yes). God has been merciful and has brought me through the past sixteen years, teaching me wonderful things with every new dawn, leading me through challenges, sharing joys and woes…

And I’m sure He’ll walk alongside for all the days to come.

 

Brain’s fried, too many words, more things, not enough time. Need a plan. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Reduce, expand. Ignite.

Let’s go.

 

“How long will you waver, O faithless daughter?”

“I have loved you with everlasting love, therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built.”

“Set up road markers for yourself; make yourself guideposts; consider well the highway, the road by which you went.”

He knows best.

My friend & I.

Chin I think my dimple is cuter than yours (;

Cross your heart, grit your teeth, plunge through the darkness and emerge victorious.

Let it go, let it out, let it in.

for it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down

“And I thank you, Lord, for the trials that come my way.                             
In that way I can grow each day, as I let You lead.”

 

 

“When everything's put in place, out in front I can see Your face…
And it's there You belong. ”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Humbly, I fall on my knees; I let You lead.

An uncanny ability of restoration

- FC Selection Test
- Teachers’ Day Concert Audition
- Sports Fiesta
- Youth Day Funfair
- Founders’ Day event
- Teachers’ Day Concert
- Teachers’ Day
- Birthday
- PGA Awards Ceremony
- Christmas

‘Ve been very excited thinking about all these events o:

Dear myself, your strengths lie in many other fields except studying. But you do realise you need to study ‘cos that’s your fundamental responsibility right. Right.

For the sake of my teaching scholarship, hopes, dreams, ambitions and aspirations,
I. will. study. hard.

Actually my life isn’t that bad… I’m not into drugs, I don’t smoke, I’m not pregnant, I’m not rebellious, I don’t owe loansharks cash, not into gambling, I don’t steal, I don’t rob, shoplift, break into houses so on so forth.

Free thy mind, free thy mind. Thou shalt overcome.

Okay enough of cyber-ranting. o:

The teaching scholarship awaits.

Sorry, Xiaoen really needs to rant.

 

 

Am not looking forward to the upcoming week. At all. School’s resuming and the hustle and bustle will settle in as we prepare for another arduous road leading up to the end of years. It’s going to be another round of reality. Another bout of thinking hard.

This feeling of two steps forward, four steps back has been haunting my troubled soul. Two steps forward, four steps back. And another.

…

And the current keeps building up. It’s a matter of time before a huge wave will suddenly appear and topple my tiny sampan over.

In case you’ve absolutely no idea what a sampan is...

A sampan (Chinese: 舢舨; pinyin: shānbǎn) is a relatively flat bottomed Chinese wooden boat from 3.5 to 4.5 m (approximately twelve to fifteen feet) long. Some sampans include a small shelter on board, and may be used as a permanent habitation on inland waters. Sampans are generally used for fishing or transportation, in coastal areas or rivers. It is unusual for a sampan to sail far from land as they do not have the means to survive rough weather.

I tried hard for Blocks. Seriously studied. Spent days figuring out and finally grasping Integration. Did questions. Asked people. Understood. But Math still killed Xiaoen in the end. It’s becoming an increasingly huge boulder to get around; at the rate this is going, getting around will become impossible in time. I hate this feeling of disappointing people. Mr Khoo is a good teacher, he’s subtly patient and kind deep down inside. He puts in effort to pace his students, and to make sure we learn. I learn, I seriously do, but the things don’t stay for long. I open up the book to do questions, get stuck all over the place, then I close my book and go outside to eat supper.

Math, how can I ever fathom (and remember) you?

Xiaoen is not going to rant anymore. I feel very vulnerable and exposed typing all this out.

Adeus.

 

/Sorry if this post makes you worried ): I can already imagine Sarah looking very worried/sad and going, “Xiaoen are you okay?”

Xiaoen’s not very okay, but she will be.

Random snapshots.

This is going to be a long post…

Random stack of tables in Conf Room C.
Thought it looked rather like an architectural wonder.

Xiaoen’s table. This is the messiest it has ever been.

Spot my Dora the Explorer colouring book in the pile!

Random snapshot of my effervescence vitamin C drink. That’s the tablet fizzing away.
Fizzzzzzzzzzzz………….

 
It’s super good man. (Shucks it looks like beer! It is not beer - -”)

Tastes like a mix of salty lemonade and Sprite.

Er that’s an empty frosty cup. (:

I like this one.

 

 

The Day I ripped my notebooks apart.

For people who know me well/ have accompanied me to Popular bookstore before, you’ll know that Xiaoen is a softie for notebooks. Absolute softie/fanatic. I cannot resist notebooks O: Out of ten trips to Popular, Xiaoen probably walks out with a new notebook on nine trips.

So anyways, I decided it was time to clear out the old notebooks (like those from magazine subscriptions in Primary 2…) and reorganise stuff. Kinda.

In the midst of sorting…
See:
1) The pile of wires
2) The pile of paper
3) The pile of notebooks

Abstract-looking twist of wired spines.

I know… you’re getting bored already.

The notebook paper all ripped out.

And at the end of it all, these were the fruits of my labour…. (It was tough work okay!)

A nice neat pile of notebook paper for rough work (:

A condensed pile of notebooks ready for use.
(That’s about half of the original stack.)

And Xiaoen was a happy girl. The end.

 

 

Okay the photos below have human faces in them (my beautiful face, in particular).

 The Roos’ Super Model Collection.

The Roos people being happy people, taking funny photos again.

Chin & Ling acting er guniang?

Take #01.

Another, ‘cos my arms weren’t on the ground in the first!

To the left.

And then the right (:
The colours look awful (the flash came on - -”), but pardon my laziness to edit!

I love this! Look at Chinwen please - -”

Not enough exposure, but never mind eh, our beautiful faces make up for it.

Attempting the dead bunny look again. Sarah, you’re almost there.
My bunny is chopped off. ):

Candid shot, accidentally pressed the shutter.

Xiaoen will die to have Lingxin’s supermodel cheekbones.

Um, that’s us doing our CL/ACL/FC look/power stare.
(Shucks la we look ridiculous - -”)

Candid shot again, I thought the timer was on.

Us doing the closed-eyed-retard-smile.

 

Taken by Chin. It was quite a sight, cos the gold rays of the setting Sun were beaming upon the banner. This photo doesn’t do it justice, pardon its photographer.

This photo shall be captioned, “The CLs’ hopes and visions for Tomorrow.”
Eh my elbow is bent bent bent it’s freaking me out!
I think it was the fracture in Primary One… Eeeeeeeeeeee. ):

Taken by Chin. She said this is the classic Xiaoen smile. - -”
It is not, please; I am so demure and gentle.

Spotted the amazing setting sun on our way to the gate. Whilst whipping out my camera to snap a photo, Chinwen dashed right over and insisted that she be in it - -”

Attempting a jumpshot…

Successful, but it’s too dark la - -”

Chin (:

Rah & Ling.

Chinwen’s attempt #01 to capture, but evidently failed with the effect.

(:

 

Roos study session @ Sarah’s

Random, ultra-candid shots taken by Chinwen…
Pardon a tad of unglam-ness here and there.

Sarah hard at work while I’m er eating a chicken pie.
On a sidenote, I need to learn to sit up straight.

Lingxin swatting a fly (who happens to be named Chinwen) away.

And my mouth was still stuffed with chicken pie - -”
Eh Sarah we look cool in black! 8)

Chinwen’s like, “Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeng! Let’s take a photo!!! Cheeeeeeeeeeeeese!”
Lingxin’s like, “Yeah yeah okay whatever. Cheese.”

 

NDP March-in 2009 (Rehearsal)

Stayed back with Choo to watch the juniors practise.

Yes that is Huier standing in full view.

She insisted on attempting to make a heart. It looks more like liver (?!) please - -”

Another attempt, slightly better.

Xiaoen was fascinated by the coloured flags.

Attempted to take cool shots of NP’s guns! (is that what you call them?)

Not bed eh. But Huier’s skirt at the top-left corner spoils the picture - -”

Eh it looks like a canon here.

Huier looking extremely joyful!

 

Went out with Bear & Choo after that to Island Creamery. We got a tub of Apple Pie, and it was gooooooood.

Choo acting shy - -”

Shiok man.

Xiaoen became fascinated with the lights like always.

Hahahah this is the photo we printed for the photowall!

Yay the end.

 

Random photos taken after National Day celebrations…

Last year in Nanyang, first year celebrating National Day. Ended up as class mascot, while Huili did the talking instead. Twas quite an experience having people surround you while groping your butt, really. We almost won hahahah! It’s okay Huili TDC will be better. We will own. Photos are with Mr Shone/ Caijing/ classmates. My skirt had a sexy high slit - -” Cheryn Choo was the best, seriously O: We were backstage, and I was like, “Are you a wheelbarrow?” She had those yellow handle-looking thingys. - -” “What are you?!” “Orchird.” Hahahaha best! Woah but a lot of work went in man, and she was totally natural on stage hahahahah!

Community singing was ownage, Sec 4s went mad in the hall jumping/ clapping/ waving/ running-around-the-hall-in-a-long-line. Was actually glad for once that we weren’t in the Audi (: Xiaoen likes NDP theme songs; her favourite song is “Home”. (:

‘Ve been speaking in third-person perspective a lot recently, please pardon Xiaoen.

Qingying’s giganto leg muscles.
Seriously, can you match this pair of legs to her mini frame?
I want those legs too. 8)

Charmaine’s giganto leg muscles. The former glories of a past ballerina hahaha! (:
Nanyang star sprinter okay, don’t play play 8)

Choo and I spotted two familiar faces/mice stalking us AGAIN. - -”
(Zining and Hannah, I bet you’re going to save this photo and use it as your display picture/ wallpaper/ desktop background and plaster it all over your room walls right.)

Don’t need to stalk us la, yah, my dear little juniors.

I used to be terrified of seniors, especially in Sec 1 (couldn’t recognise most of them then). Turn-the-other-way-and-scurry-off kinda terrified. It’s weird to be the oldest ones around heh 8)

 

This post is getting waaaaaay too long O: Till then. (: A lot of bottled thoughts, but mm.

Life’s good.

 

(Where do I go from here?)