this post has no title as well.

It’s 11:22am now, I just finished eating 2 packets of instant noodles. Plus 3 chicken franks and a cuppa milo.

._.

I want to lose weight ): But at the rate I am eating supper everyday… - -” I eat sooooooo much after dinner/at night woah! O: The other day I had 10 satays, ketupat and a whole lotta other stuff. And I’ve had mashed potatoes topped with extra dollops (haha dollop sounds so cute) of mayonnaise.

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
It’s :D at the food,
but D: at late-night calories.

Anyways. Haven’t got much to talk about really. Oh yes, my ambition as of now is to be a kacang-puteh seller. And make my kacang-puteh business real successful and franchise it throughout the world.

How’s that! :D

Oh yes. These 2 days since school reopening have been pretty good actually! Good as in I can feel a significant change in myself. Okay maybe only I feel it. But on a sidenote, almost every teacher called out my name during their lesson today cos I owe them homework - -” BUT those are kinda ‘leftover’ debts from Term 2, I am going to put in 200% this term to avoid all that from happening again! Xiaoen wants to climb back uppppppppppppppp (: OH you know you know! I did quite a lot of work today. (NB: Writer’s definition of a lot might differ from readers’.) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it’s like, every time I strike off smth from my homework list (in my supercute diary) and off my whiteboard, I feel SO SHUANG! WAAAAAAAAAAH. It really feels dang good when you cancel smth off the list.

Therefore I am off to go and do MORE WORK and strike off more stuff on my list! Hahahahaha, maybe I’ll even become addicted to doing work. (WOAH.)

OH YAH. Super important thing that I must declare here. I am not in Chinese remedial HAHAHAHAH. Apparently Dailaoshi mistook my email for Huier’s. Choo Huier’s in Chinese remedial. HAHHAHAH who was laughing so loudly on monday huh. Okay but I still needa work on my Chinese! A1 for O’s. A1 for O’s. A1 for O’s.

I don’t know why I’m dreaming so big, but anyways (: Oh I learnt a new Chinese phrase today. Smth about throwing rice to catch chickens. Cool. 8) On a sidenote, I am actually considering taking Chinese in JC.. Haha quite mad actually, but we’ll see, we’ll see.

Ranted to quite a few people today about how sad my life was cos of all the overdue homework. One person managed to cheer me up. Her name is Tan Yan Quan. We were chatting after school, ended up talking about Michael Jackson (she’s been quite into him these days, go read her blog.) Anyways she said to me, “At least your life is not as screwed as his.” Funny, sad, but true. Therefore, we will all work hard together! (: Whoo!

Quotes Stephanie’s blog title- Live. Laugh. Love.

Cool. 8)

And yes, I am (a little) honoured >) PS, you owe me letter! :D :D :D PPS, when’s your birthday! O: is it over already!!! (Noooooooooooooo~)

Okay I really have nothing else to say already. I haven’t been taking much photos these days. Nothing to take. ): I still want a DSLR. ): Hahahahaha.

 

Some other random stuff: (maybe I should end all my posts this way)

1. Am looking forward to Youth Day holiday next Monday! Loooooooove holidays~

2. Can’t wait for National Day, haha! :D And I wonder who will be singing the theme song!! (I secretly wish that someday, someone will invite me to be the singer. Shh, it’s a secret.)

3.  Block tests are freaking near O: I was shocked when Miss Teo said Week 5. Bam! I shall start mugging this weekend :D (O: ) (I am shocked at myself too.)

4. Okay I’ve really got nothing else already. Bye.

5. Add a smiley face at the end. That sounded hostile. O:

6. :D

7. Sorry I cannot end with a 6, because 7’s my favourite number! Yay I’m done. :D

i dont know what to entitle this post.

Just read some info on Be Prepared Test (PGA final round), I am absolutely mortified. Some stuff sound like real fun, but some are woah. Like woah, totally woah. Imagine working under the pressure as well, woah. Anyways no one knows what’s in store in the road ahead. So PGA’s moving to the back of my peanut brain for the time being. (:

Anyways I’d wanted to post yesterday. ): (My heart is starting to beat very fast.) I am so upset lah ): I typed out this ultra-long. Ultra-long. I mean it, ultra-long post okay ): There were nice dedications to Kakay & Cherynn, plus I declared my love for laksa. Aaaaaaaaaaaand I typed reflections on PGA ): then, Windows Live Writer just had to hang. And it doesn’t have an auto-save function ): Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy must you do this to me, friend. No you’re no longer my friend. If this post hangs again i will delete Windows Live Writer from my computer henceforth forevermore. Okay maybe i won’t. Aiyah i shall write to Bill Gates one of these days to tell him that they should add an auto-save function. Whooo, Xiaoen declares A Need for Change. :D

Anyways, yes. I was so upset by the sudden death of my post that I couldn’t even be bothered to post a “I-typed-something-but-it’s-gone” post after that.

So to cut the long story short: (the ultra-long post summarised into a few words)

1. Xiaoen’s new direction in life is “If you cannot 100%, then don’t.” I… have decided to give it up. Give up my perfectionist streak and the procrastinate-ism. Enough. The perfectionist part will be difficult, cos somehow, somewhat, there’ll always be that extra one-percent. I know, you’re like, “Is she sure she can do this anot?” It’s gonna be tough man, but I’ll try (; 

2. Xiaoen declare(s)ed her love for Kakay and Cherynn, her wonderful tablemates for Term 2, with super huge chunks of thank yous and why-yall’re-so-wonderful. But aiyah, the inspiration has since left me, so here’s to you, a telepathic wave with everything I wanted to type out. Yesterday I typed something like, “I hope we’ll still be able to sit together this term and you guys must push me real hard okay! Apologies in advanced if I annoy you with my questions in class, cos I’m always a step slower. I want to catch up with the class! Poke me if I fall asleep… I vow to keep awake this semester… even for Amy’s lessons.”

Doesn’t really hold much now, since we’re not sitting together anymore (noooooo…~ ): )But it’s fine (: My resolution to catch up and keep up still holds. The vow to stay awake during Amy’s? Er see how first. Anyways Cherynn you can kick my chair if you see me sleeping since you’re behind me now. (AND GET WELL SOON MAN! (think of me.))

3. What else was there? Oh yes. I shall cut short my entire paragraph on Xiaoen’s love for laksa into one sentence: I looooooooooooooooooove laksa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (As in, literally, laksa. The spicy food you makan.) Call me up anytime to go makan laksa! I aspire to be a laksa critic in the future.

Speaking of which, my ambition changes everyday. Just yesterday, I wanted to be chef. Just now before dinner, I decided that I want to be a principal and start a school. As I was watching the AYG opening, I was set on becoming a choreographer (like Zhang Yimou choreographing the Beijing Olympics opening  omg!). Who knows what I’ll want to be when I grow up when I wake up tomorrow. Anyways I’ll never want to be a zoo-keeper like Ariel. (Yes my best friend aspires to be a zookeeper when she grows up…)

4. PGA reflections… too long to type out all over again. Will do one another day. (: After the proper closure with GOBO10 (:

 

There, I’m done. (:

I cannot remember what I wanted to post for this post. But it’s okay, shall bid farewell for now. Lots of work to be done. I. Can. Do. It. (: Some random stuff before I go:

1. Lingxinnnnnnn, I have officially fallen in love (no that sounds wrong) with Taylor Swift. Omg she’s so darn cool! And nice! (Haha Sarah’s most commonly used adjective- ‘nice’.)

2. Wannqin and I now share a secret emoticon lol. (I haven’t seen you! Catch you around in school tmrw, hopefully (: )

3. I have chinese remedial tomorrow. whaaaaaaaaat is that lah. ):

4. Sandy I love you!

5. I want/need to buy alot of things. A LOT.

 

Haven’t got much else to say, so long for now. Oh yeah, a lot of juniors looked at me in shock when they saw my new look today LOL. Not bad eh! I like my new specs 8)

Adios amigos.

Oh yah, I just remembered one more thing. ‘Ve got a lot of ideas for things! (eg. NYGG reunion at year-end?) Ahahahaha, exciting. We’ll see how lah, as time goes.

Don’t wanna step down yet ): Too fast, too soon. I’ll miss CCA/ the company/ juniors/ Guiders.

PS, Sec 3s if you’re reading this… (Bet a lot of yall are, but do so secretly tsk.) FC selection test coming soon… (hopefully, we’ll see how the H1N1 situation goes.) Go go go.

 

Okay I’m done. Peace out.

*copies and pastes into MSWord in case Live Writer hangs again O: *

xiaoen you are screwed. ):

i dont want to be screwed anymore ): after screwing up for one whole semester, i really dont want to be screwed anymore ): but at the rate im going, im still screwed ): and i am still going to be screwed ): i dont want to be screwed anymore ):

someone bring the screwdriver please? ):

I am sitting at the coffee table, attempting to do my homework.

I look out at the potted plants. Suddenly, a truth hits me.

It’s 8:54pm. It’s 8:54pm. It’s 8:54pm.

It’s Wednesday. It’s Wednesday. It’s Wednesday.

I have listed out the homework which I shall strive to complete by tmrw. Dear God, please give me enough strength and determination to complete it! I really don’t want to be a mess anymore. (:

I have so much to share with all of you readers!! A lot has been going on in my life. A lot of memories I want to take down! I’ll be back to share, I promise! I hope!

As for now, I am back to complete my work. Xiaoen, you have to do it. You can. GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :D

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah whirlwind of emotions. I want to talk to so many people right now!!!

Might be back later to post. (:

Take care, yall! Stay healthy, drink water, eat fruits, wash your hands! :D

In everything, give thanks (:

Whoooooooooooooo jiayou with your marking too, Miss Teng! :D (and thank you again!!!)

departure note

I’m leaving. I have never felt so tired in my life. Nor have I ever felt as homesick as I am feeling now. I don’t want to leave my home, I don’t want to leave my bed, I don’t want to leave my mummy (as much as her nagging really, really bothers me), I will miss the water heater ):

I am so annoying. Shut up.

It has dawned upon me that one cannot depend on his own strength. Afterall, how strong can a man be? We all falter, fail, stumble, fall. Only He remains steadfast and strong. God, please teach me to stop dwindling in my own ways but to depend on You. I am exhausted, and camp has not even started. I have failed to live up to expectations, and I do not think I am going to live up to expectations for the coming camp either, really. Nor for Term 3. Things have come crashing down, they still are, but I really don’t want to continue crashing further. I surrender all to You, Lord. Take my burdens, my cares, my woes, my worries, Lord. Use me as You would, in Your time, for Your greater glory. Amen.

I am falling asleep. Goodbye.

I keep having bad feelings about bad things that will happen at camp! ): Rah I really hope no one chops her finger off ): Was crying just now, after reading Chinwen’s SMS. ):

Sigh.

Shucks lah I sound like I am dying.

Anyways to end this off, presenting to you the Quote of the Day, by Lam Hui Li the Great (who, like me, has officially step foot into The Chinese Remedial Class) (shucks lah I DONT WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! ): )

I reach out and touch you(,) your holidays suck.

Friends understand; they really do. 哭笑不得。

Thanks Sandy, will read your SMS at camp constantly to remind myself and cheer myself up! (:

Packed along Miss Teng’s poem as well. It shall be The Source of Encouragement.

Gladys, I’ll be waiting for your SMS every night ah! :D (Send some funny and happy stuff like jokes or smth)

Wodetian, I feel like I’m going to war.

Away from 19th-22nd for PGA camp. I can feel it. You’re missing me already.

Till then, everyone!

Xiaoen is taking a break from work!

Here are two photos to liven up this place!!

Sarah Chinwen Lingxin Xiaoen (:

Wannqin Sarah Peiling June Xinyun Xiaoen Ms Ong (:

If you notice, the photos don't have pretty borders, cos Windows Live Writer has been hanging on me! I posted this nice little post just now on:

but the whole post disappeared! annoying!

Anyways my whole house smells of durains now it's insane! O:

Okay break's over, byebye! Will be away at camp from 19th-22nd, hopefully I come back alive, in one piece and not too emotionally traumatised! Pray that there'll be no major hiccups, the campers will be safe and that all of us will be sustained throughout the camp. Am a tad nervous about being a lifesaver man! Fingers crossed!

So long for now!

No, I haven't figured out "Life" yet...

Quit being such a disappointment and face life in the face man!

Talking about face... SAY NO TO FACEBOOK!!

Not very stable right now.. Adios amigos. (: PS, thanks to all for tagging! Am acknowledging all your tags here! I read your tags daily (well, almost), but am just too much of a bum to reply 'em! But keep 'em coming eh! Sunbeamm needs your company ;D Take care too, all of you! Happy holidays! (Kinda...)

Don’t bother I am just rambling.

Xiaoen has got an awful lot of things to say, rant and talk about. A LOT of things have happened over the past couple of weeks, emotions have ran wild, sleepless nights, craze, love, small simple joys…

I have got so much to say now, so many memories I want to capture in this tiny space. Freeze-frame. Still-shot. Pause. Rewind. Undo. Forward.

If only life could be controlled like a computer programme. I’d use all the shortcuts I know to manipulate this strange world we’re in.

I know. I sound off. But pardon me for now, life has been whizzing by too quickly. Too many things, too little time. I almost wish swine flu would breakout in Singapore, then perhaps life can pause and wait a little while for me. Too fast, I’m too slow. Moving on, moving by.

Can’t catch up.

Will you wait a little while, turn around and hold my hand and walk together?

I amuse myself, really. Sometimes I am so extreme I find myself at a disbelief with myself. See, I have no clue what I just said.

But God’s been good all this while. He’s kept me generally sane, answered my frenzied prayers, given me timely strength and support from all the people around me.

 

It is at times like this when you pause to rethink your priorities in life. Too many what ifs sprinting through my distressed piece of mind.

A whole lot of other things to say, but time waits for no man. Shouldn’t be posting for the entire of next week or so, or maybe till the end of hols. Maybe when I can finally make sense of this thing called ‘Life’, I’ll be back.

 

As for now, hold on tight. Pray for me if you can, and thanks for dropping by here. Shows that you care, at least. Oh alright, add a smiley face at the end; sunbeamm is meant to bring joy to people all around, not to dampen spirits. Its light is kinda flickering now, but it’ll be glowing again… sometime.

I want to end off this post with a cheem-sounding, thought-provoking quote, but nothing’s coming to me. So there, for now. Peace.

 

PS. Don’t worry, (if you are worried). Xiaoen will be fine.

Shut up and dance!

rumble tumble.

It is 12:49am in the morning and I am absolutely starving.
(Am typing the recipes for Outdoor Cooking.)

Should I go out to the kitchen and cook something? :|

i love my happy friend (:

Xiaoen is taking a break from P&O proposal, but cant afford the time to post a long long post about all the fun and crazy stuff she did with her batchmates/roos the past week, so this shall be a short short post dedicated to her fellow first aiderlifesaver :D, Miss Ong Wann Qin.

Wann! Nice anot! So cool right! :D

One cannot help but wonder at what an odd pair of friends the above two retarded-smiling human beings make. It is even more astonishing to think that these two will be serving as Lifesavers at Camp. One is phobic of blood and the other has the mental capacity of a 3-year old child.

Still, Xiaoen is reallllllllllllllllllllly looking forward to camp! It’ll be so much fun and a lot easier to bear with Wanda around (: JIAYOU with your proposal man! I’m dying too but WE WILL STAY AFLOAT :D We’re the lifesavers, remember? The camp needs us!!

Haha I bet you’re shocked to see this post. But anyways, you’re much loved, wannnnnnnn! :D

-

Freaking annoyed.

musings

Quick post cos’ I really ought to be sleeping.

Along with 8Days this week came a Movie Junkie Guide. And attached is the list of movies that I really really wanna catch ): Hahaha! Any kind soul out there willing to sponsor a movie marathon or smth? (:

*Xiaoen manages her brightest smile*

- Night at the Museum 2
- Dance Subaru
- Imagine That
- The Soloist
- The Proposal
- Whatever Works
- Julie & Julia
- Up
- Ice Age 3
- Where the Wild Things Are

Anyhow, I wanted to post a super long photo post with all the GOBO10 photos, but the comp died on me halfway. A tad of a bummer to reselect the photos and add in all the captions, will do it another day. {:

‘Ve got a lot of photos to post man! Sooooooooooooon :D (I know, I know. I’ve been saying this for a long time now…)

It’s the June holidays I really don’t know what to make of it. Studies-wise, The Report Book (Wow that looks good.) is a real bummer this time. I have, obviously, failed myself big time. It is quite painful and devastating but I really do hope for some sorta miracle or uplift in Semester Two. But judging from my current disillusioned state, change is slow. Indeed, if you are an expert at telling tone through words it is apparent that I sound pretty numbed. Yes numbed is the word. It’s almost like I’ve gotten used to all this crap but really Xiaoen, you can do much more. Get your life back.

Anyways to all you fellow beings out there on the planet you are not alone sometimes our problem seems like a huge bummer but honestly when put into perspective they’re not that great y’know. Somehow, somewhat you can make a change and your life lies in your own hands man.

Oh shut up, Xiaoen.

On a happier note..

Nikon D300

No, I do not have one. I wish I did, though! But who knows, I might have one in time to come, hopefully! If I win the NDP photo contest, that is! One of my shots’ve got some chance, I feel! Hmm maybe not the first. The second or third prize will be great too (: I should never have agreed to use Caijing’s DSLR ): It is addictive. Addictive, friends. Once you’ve tasted meat, you never wanna eat vegetables again. (Sorry that was an attempt at some form of analogy. I love vegetables, btw. (: ‘Cept eggplants.) The hilarious/interesting thing to note is, my four photos (hopes of winning a DSLR) are buried amongst this person’s collection of photos. And this person so happens to be named. “Xiao En”. I mean, what a better name right?! Win. He/She uploaded an entire collection/series of photos from some school adventure camp or sorts, it’s quite um, cool.

The four photos from the right in the third row are mine! (: Whoooooo. I think the red umbrella one stands a chance :/ Hopefully, hopefully (: Am amateur at this, but I think it’s fun! (: If that one wins I’ll have to give Huier credit too, that’s her umbrella! Haha!

Nikon D300…~ Can you imagine that? Wow.

Speaking of photography, I shall cleverly link to my next point! Am contented as for now to snap away with my happy little compact digi (: Mm I should give my camera a name (: Mary? Freddy? Wendy? Jill? Jack? Freddy the camera :D Hehe so cute. Pop over some ideas for the name if you have some!

Man, I think I’m not too bad at taking photos leh (: (Cherynn might beg to differ but who cares. I take better photos than her.) Photos capture so many memories (: I like looking through The Collection from time to time; seeing how we’ve all grown/changed… Batchies, 212, 410… Over the years friendships have changed too. Some have diluted, some have, like wine, become mellow and rich with time. Friendships take time and energy to maintain, sometimes they die down, but I’m really glad that I have some friends who’ve been around for a long time, and for a long time to come. (: Yall know who you are.

It was very fuzzy wuzzy watching the montage with the rest of the company on friday. Man, I’ve rewatched that vid about fifty times while processing the montage, but sitting in the pitch-dark LT and being able to share all those memories with all those who’re a part of This Family… it’s very amazing you know. I’ll gladly continue to snap snap snap away till the end of 2009, when we officially leave Nanyang Guides. Half a year left to capture smiles, memories, tears, fun and laughter (:

Talentime’09 was coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. 8) Was particularly impressed with the Sec1s and 2s man! I thought they were really awesome (: Quotes Amanda (from Britain’s Got Talent), “It was like looking in the mirror.” Dances were good man, as good as I am! Hahahaha! ;D Sec4s didn’t get to showcase our wonderful dancing/singing skills, but we had good fun moving along to “Stand by Me” all the same. Hopefully we’ll get to blow the juniors away at Farewell’09 or something! >) Oh speaking of the funny korean “Stand by Me” song, for people who are enquiring if I watch Boys Over Flowers, I don’t. There’s been this huge craze over korean men recently, all the photos and ooooh aaahs goo goo gaa gaas on blogs everywhere. Hopefully it wouldn’t get to me too soon man. Oh back to the topic, Talentime’09. Woah there were splits cartwheels dominos and all, it was quite spectacular man! I want to learn how to split leh ): Swensen’s ice-cream voucher is so cooooooooooooooooooool man. Double cool triple cool! :D Batch06 should totally go for ice-cream buffet some day, voucher or not. We’ll lick the restaurant clean. Oh Chinwen and I delivered a rendition of “Apologise” too, it deserved a full house standing ovation, really, with my beautifully executed interpretive dance as well.

Oh speaking of vocals/singing/superstardom! The NYSuperstar/NYGefang people emailed me hahahahah wow so exciting lah! :D But replied with a turn-down, cos I really don’t think time will allow extra commitments with PGA and all that catching up to do. It was a wonderful compliment, all the same! Looking forward to hear the rest sing at FOA pre-event lineups (: Can I quote them here and sound really egoistic? Okay I shall. :B “It would be sad not to have you with us. Nonetheless, we would like to tell you your voice is spectacular for an acapella performance. We look forward to working with you in other possible opportunities.” Ahahahahaha! Singapore Idol beckons. (The commercial is hilarious, btw!)

This post is so wordy I bet you’re asleep by now. Hello gooooooooooood morning! Hopefully the next post will be a happy photo post so look forward to it man! Xiaoen has not given up on the “Revelation of Evelyn & Cherynn Campaign” (Xiaoen declares her immense love for Evelyn Tan.) Okey doke, am off to bed. This post is too long to be titled ‘musings’ but I can’t be bothered for another title. Oh yeah, Circle Line’s a blast! It was super exciting man like a roller coaster hahahahahah :D I will attempt to beat Wannqin’s record of 5 rides on the Circle Line in the next two weeks. Hehe at least I won a free notebook (; Xiaoen is extremely proud of the Singapore Transport System and is even proud-er to be a Singaporean (: (Pardon the sudden burst of patriotism, it must be the NDP website. Or perhaps it’s the Nikon D300.) Xiaoen is tired, Xiaoen bids farewell. Studying session tmrw, hopefully I’ll get some work done, clear some doubts and come up with a plan or sorts, perhaps finally find some direction.

Peace. Adios.