j.u.m.p.
current mood-
charged up and ready to go;
thankful; blessed (:
Friday, August 29, 2008
long post- confessions?
okay this is gonna be a long post (i hope i have the patience to last through all my thoughts)
shucks i have so many things to say i dont know what to say.
havent blogged about alot of class/guides stuff.
shall start with guides (:
alot of things have been happening ._.
parade (was this very long ago!) wasnt perfect, but it was fantastic (: gave a wrong command and 破音-ed once, but it doesnt matter (: life isnt perfect, we strive for the best we can give, leave the rest to God :)
parade rehearsals/footdrill sessions just felt slightly wierd. right after taking over fc-ship, parade slammed into our faces. it's like you've never been doing something, but suddenly when it comes, it's like a huge thing and you know you cant screw up. but somehow you feel yourself screwing up, and you're trying not to. slowly, plod.
i think seniors are cool. and it's funny to think that all seniors were juniors, and then we're gonna become seniors ourselves, when actually we really feel like juniors. i really want to be a little junior and just enjoy myself/get scoldings/learn/grow (: but people grow up, it's very sad to think about growing up. at fifteen years old, i look back now and think about life when i was small.
ten years down the road, i'll look back at my life in sec school days, think about batchmates, seniors, juniors, teachers, classmates, best friends... i wonder if i'll pretend not to see them on the streets in future. when i see pri sch people, i dont know how to react, i just turn to my phone's smses. sigh. will we be but a mere passing shadow in each others' lives? ):
okay this post is turning slightly emo. but no, it is not emo, it is just xiaoen in a serious state, thinking. (:
being an fc (why do we say 'an' fc and not 'a' fc?!) feels funny. haha, i shouldnt really be posting all this, but i think it's alright for others to read (: but there are some stuff/feelings i keep deep down that only God understands. (i dont understand my own feelings sometimes, it's quite ironic.) several stuff/people have been forcing me to face up to life/myself/reality recently. it's not a nice feeling.
im a person who's strong on the outside, pretty strong on the second layer, slightly strong on the third, really squishy on the inside. i dont like feeling squishy. it's not nice to be ostracised. it's not nice to feel lonely. it's not nice to feel going against other people. i like people (: i like friends, i like working with people, laughing with them, being a part of them (: i like that feeling of being together, knowing each other, being at ease, letting go of facades and stupid feelings.
im like that with ariel (: ariel makes me happy, always. i dont know why. even when we're both sad/upset/rah-rah, somehow we'll just burst out laughing at each other, even if we're crying like rubbish, cos we know i have her, and she has me (: like, nothing in this world is too big. i like ariel cos she understands me. i understand her too. it's... unspoken. it's alchemy, this unspoken universal language of the world. even though we're so different now, everything's still the same. (more on this in later part of post, perhaps :))
siyan's question/comment in class was made me feel very akward. cos it was really true, but it doesnt really matter, does it? she said that i shouldnt hide my feelings if im upset or anything, i need to let people know how i feel and all. but i dont really believe in that. hmmm. anyways, siyan just said it in a very matter-of-factly tone, somewhat innocent. it's quite amazing/scary how siyan and yanquan analyse and read into people. sometimes they're right, sometimes they can be wrong also (: when im angry with people, i dont go into their face and have a direct clash/voice my opinions.
i like keeping my feelings, cos sometimes i might be wrong. i dont like misunderstandings. i think misunderstandings are stupid and dumb. it's irritating to watch drama serials with twists and misunderstandings. you wish you could just open the television and plonk this actor into a certain scene cos everything's going wrong because people go against each other over ridiculous things and it's plain rubbish. okay i've lost my point. what was i gonna say. ohyah, anyways, im not a person who shows emotions of anger/upset-ness/sadness/hurt/whatever-lah, especially anger. i dont like being angry. being angry is tiring. i'd rather smile and cool down then think rather than think of what to shout back at the other person/how to rebut (hee, debtate :)).
being angry and angsty takes up alot of energy, alot alot of energy, and time, and brain power, and heart power, and at the end of it i'll just become tired physically and mentally. which is stupid. like smoking. (note to self: must blog about smoking/smokers one day/later) but then again it's quite ahrahgah when people mistake me as sad/angry/emo/upset when im really just thinking/resting/stoning. i have a dao face when i dont smile (and when i smile i look like i struck Toto or smth ._.). dao dao dao face. it's cool to have a dao face :D hahahaha!
aiyah, anyways next time when you see me quietly sitting at a corner/looking angry/whatnot, just let me relax for a while (: im either 1) upset- let me cool off 2) thinking- let me think 3) stoning- wake me up if i fall asleep.
haha! the third point was funny (: i've been sleeping in alot of classes recently. ._. eh but sleeping in class is a nice feeling (: i feel very secure and warm and loved sleeping during lessons, i dont know why. (: haha! huier always provokes me when i sleep, i dont like her. and qinyan & shermaine always laughs/smiles when they see me sleep. heehee! :D
talking about lessons/classes/academia, i've been kinda disillusioned recently. quite badly, honestly. as i type this now, there is hahahahah forget it. never mind (: i need to get back on track. i want to get back on track.
thank God for the september holidays, although i think it's gonna be really short, thank God for the rest that i really really need. i pray, please help me spend my time wisely (im really serious about it, God.) and help me recharge to the max plus spare batteries included for term 4. i want to do well for EOYs and for my sec3 results. i want to be proud of myself and not feel like a sorry, stupid, messy state. help me, Lord. i cannot do it without You.
just scrolled up, realise i got drifted away from my point. anyways, being an fc/cfc is really just a bit funny. im still learning. it's very difficult to scold people. being assertive is an art. you know, standing outside the squad, it's easy to tell if the footdrill is good or bad. being in the squad, you need to focus on getting every single command right, it's hard to think about good or bad performance. sometimes, we leave it to luck. sometimes, it sucks when the fc keeps samula-ing cos you thought it was pretty good, and you're really very tired, but you need to do the command again. you really want to do it right, but somehow cannot. you dont know why, you cant make it right, and neither can anyone else.
making it right... it's the job of the fcs... making it right is the job of the FCs! every single one in the squad is like a puzzle piece, the FCs need to complete the puzzle. sometimes, the pieces dont fit, because the puzzle piecing person cant see what the pieces represent. each piece is so different, some pieces are easier to fit than the others, cos they have nice edges and their features are distinct and good, whereas other pieces might need more help because it is difficult to piece it into the entire piece of puzzle. if the puzzle pieceing person gives up, because some of the pieces are really very hard to fit, and the puzzle is so hard to piece, then there'll be no puzzle! piecing pieces arent easy. the pieces will feel very very very tired, because they need to have their edges poked and fitted and squeezed to their limits, the person will feel very tired also, because she can see the final image of the completed puzzle, but it's a difficult process. without the puzzle piecer, the puzzle will be but a scattered picture. without the pieces, even one single piece, there'll be no puzzle at all. at the end of it, the puzzle piecer can feel proud of the entire puzzle, and the puzzle pieces, being a part of the entire, magnificent, beautiful picture... who else will know that feeling? forgiveness, understanding, trust, love, determination, hardwork make up the thick, strong glue to hold it all together (:
i like puzzles (: but i never know how to complete them. i always pass my puzzles to my cousin, monghun, to piece them together (: monghun's really really really good at puzzles! i think she's amazing (:
if you want a nice pieced puzzle, you must sacrifice and give it your all to complete it.
fcs were once a part of the squad.
i havent blogged until my zhong dian!!! but i need to sleep in 5mins time and i havent bathed ._. eeee. okay shall continue editing this another day :D i think this post is really long [; yay g'night everyone <3
shucks i have so many things to say i dont know what to say.
havent blogged about alot of class/guides stuff.
shall start with guides (:
alot of things have been happening ._.
parade (was this very long ago!) wasnt perfect, but it was fantastic (: gave a wrong command and 破音-ed once, but it doesnt matter (: life isnt perfect, we strive for the best we can give, leave the rest to God :)
parade rehearsals/footdrill sessions just felt slightly wierd. right after taking over fc-ship, parade slammed into our faces. it's like you've never been doing something, but suddenly when it comes, it's like a huge thing and you know you cant screw up. but somehow you feel yourself screwing up, and you're trying not to. slowly, plod.
i think seniors are cool. and it's funny to think that all seniors were juniors, and then we're gonna become seniors ourselves, when actually we really feel like juniors. i really want to be a little junior and just enjoy myself/get scoldings/learn/grow (: but people grow up, it's very sad to think about growing up. at fifteen years old, i look back now and think about life when i was small.
ten years down the road, i'll look back at my life in sec school days, think about batchmates, seniors, juniors, teachers, classmates, best friends... i wonder if i'll pretend not to see them on the streets in future. when i see pri sch people, i dont know how to react, i just turn to my phone's smses. sigh. will we be but a mere passing shadow in each others' lives? ):
okay this post is turning slightly emo. but no, it is not emo, it is just xiaoen in a serious state, thinking. (:
being an fc (why do we say 'an' fc and not 'a' fc?!) feels funny. haha, i shouldnt really be posting all this, but i think it's alright for others to read (: but there are some stuff/feelings i keep deep down that only God understands. (i dont understand my own feelings sometimes, it's quite ironic.) several stuff/people have been forcing me to face up to life/myself/reality recently. it's not a nice feeling.
im a person who's strong on the outside, pretty strong on the second layer, slightly strong on the third, really squishy on the inside. i dont like feeling squishy. it's not nice to be ostracised. it's not nice to feel lonely. it's not nice to feel going against other people. i like people (: i like friends, i like working with people, laughing with them, being a part of them (: i like that feeling of being together, knowing each other, being at ease, letting go of facades and stupid feelings.
im like that with ariel (: ariel makes me happy, always. i dont know why. even when we're both sad/upset/rah-rah, somehow we'll just burst out laughing at each other, even if we're crying like rubbish, cos we know i have her, and she has me (: like, nothing in this world is too big. i like ariel cos she understands me. i understand her too. it's... unspoken. it's alchemy, this unspoken universal language of the world. even though we're so different now, everything's still the same. (more on this in later part of post, perhaps :))
siyan's question/comment in class was made me feel very akward. cos it was really true, but it doesnt really matter, does it? she said that i shouldnt hide my feelings if im upset or anything, i need to let people know how i feel and all. but i dont really believe in that. hmmm. anyways, siyan just said it in a very matter-of-factly tone, somewhat innocent. it's quite amazing/scary how siyan and yanquan analyse and read into people. sometimes they're right, sometimes they can be wrong also (: when im angry with people, i dont go into their face and have a direct clash/voice my opinions.
i like keeping my feelings, cos sometimes i might be wrong. i dont like misunderstandings. i think misunderstandings are stupid and dumb. it's irritating to watch drama serials with twists and misunderstandings. you wish you could just open the television and plonk this actor into a certain scene cos everything's going wrong because people go against each other over ridiculous things and it's plain rubbish. okay i've lost my point. what was i gonna say. ohyah, anyways, im not a person who shows emotions of anger/upset-ness/sadness/hurt/whatever-lah, especially anger. i dont like being angry. being angry is tiring. i'd rather smile and cool down then think rather than think of what to shout back at the other person/how to rebut (hee, debtate :)).
being angry and angsty takes up alot of energy, alot alot of energy, and time, and brain power, and heart power, and at the end of it i'll just become tired physically and mentally. which is stupid. like smoking. (note to self: must blog about smoking/smokers one day/later) but then again it's quite ahrahgah when people mistake me as sad/angry/emo/upset when im really just thinking/resting/stoning. i have a dao face when i dont smile (and when i smile i look like i struck Toto or smth ._.). dao dao dao face. it's cool to have a dao face :D hahahaha!
aiyah, anyways next time when you see me quietly sitting at a corner/looking angry/whatnot, just let me relax for a while (: im either 1) upset- let me cool off 2) thinking- let me think 3) stoning- wake me up if i fall asleep.
haha! the third point was funny (: i've been sleeping in alot of classes recently. ._. eh but sleeping in class is a nice feeling (: i feel very secure and warm and loved sleeping during lessons, i dont know why. (: haha! huier always provokes me when i sleep, i dont like her. and qinyan & shermaine always laughs/smiles when they see me sleep. heehee! :D
talking about lessons/classes/academia, i've been kinda disillusioned recently. quite badly, honestly. as i type this now, there is hahahahah forget it. never mind (: i need to get back on track. i want to get back on track.
thank God for the september holidays, although i think it's gonna be really short, thank God for the rest that i really really need. i pray, please help me spend my time wisely (im really serious about it, God.) and help me recharge to the max plus spare batteries included for term 4. i want to do well for EOYs and for my sec3 results. i want to be proud of myself and not feel like a sorry, stupid, messy state. help me, Lord. i cannot do it without You.
just scrolled up, realise i got drifted away from my point. anyways, being an fc/cfc is really just a bit funny. im still learning. it's very difficult to scold people. being assertive is an art. you know, standing outside the squad, it's easy to tell if the footdrill is good or bad. being in the squad, you need to focus on getting every single command right, it's hard to think about good or bad performance. sometimes, we leave it to luck. sometimes, it sucks when the fc keeps samula-ing cos you thought it was pretty good, and you're really very tired, but you need to do the command again. you really want to do it right, but somehow cannot. you dont know why, you cant make it right, and neither can anyone else.
making it right... it's the job of the fcs... making it right is the job of the FCs! every single one in the squad is like a puzzle piece, the FCs need to complete the puzzle. sometimes, the pieces dont fit, because the puzzle piecing person cant see what the pieces represent. each piece is so different, some pieces are easier to fit than the others, cos they have nice edges and their features are distinct and good, whereas other pieces might need more help because it is difficult to piece it into the entire piece of puzzle. if the puzzle pieceing person gives up, because some of the pieces are really very hard to fit, and the puzzle is so hard to piece, then there'll be no puzzle! piecing pieces arent easy. the pieces will feel very very very tired, because they need to have their edges poked and fitted and squeezed to their limits, the person will feel very tired also, because she can see the final image of the completed puzzle, but it's a difficult process. without the puzzle piecer, the puzzle will be but a scattered picture. without the pieces, even one single piece, there'll be no puzzle at all. at the end of it, the puzzle piecer can feel proud of the entire puzzle, and the puzzle pieces, being a part of the entire, magnificent, beautiful picture... who else will know that feeling? forgiveness, understanding, trust, love, determination, hardwork make up the thick, strong glue to hold it all together (:
i like puzzles (: but i never know how to complete them. i always pass my puzzles to my cousin, monghun, to piece them together (: monghun's really really really good at puzzles! i think she's amazing (:
if you want a nice pieced puzzle, you must sacrifice and give it your all to complete it.
fcs were once a part of the squad.
i havent blogged until my zhong dian!!! but i need to sleep in 5mins time and i havent bathed ._. eeee. okay shall continue editing this another day :D i think this post is really long [; yay g'night everyone <3
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
life goes on. founders' day parade 2008
Dear Xiaoen
it's okay dont be nervous/scared/depressed/down <3
just give your very best, just like how you tell others to.
you are not alone. even if you screw up tomorrow, you've done your best, it's okay.
(you wont screw up dear :D)
standing at the podium, forget about the butterflies in your stomach and jelly in your legs, just focus and look at one single spot high up there.
remember to breathe from your diagphram (sp?!).
show the school what UG/guides/you've got. let them 刮目相看.
晓恩，请你一定要加油。show that you are worthy as a cfc (chlorofluorocarbon ._.) (:
once in three years, you know you can do it.
pray and thank God for His strength.
with Christ, all things are possible.
God is with you, He is standing by His child.
dont be afraid; give it your all!
rid your self-consciousness.
love,
(:
hahaha guess who.
was 憋-ing tears after lunch drill today. (or yesterday, for that matter, since it's already 15th august. aka THE DAY OF PARADE. -idontknowwhatemoticontoput-) felt super lousy cos the voice was so soft. and you know what? i think part of the reason for an urge to cry was miss guo si yan. i dont know why, she was absolutely sweet and thoughtful and sincere and real when she asked if i was okay and went on to praise and that it'll be alright. yanquan was sweet too. i ku-shu-ed to her. (ohman ohman ohman ._.) sigh okay never mind, tomorrow will be a better day. no shucks, today.
trying to imagine standing on the podium,
i can feel the butterflies.
urgh.
worst case scenarios-
1. shout wrong command
(the school wont know, the squad wont move, just carry on with the right command.)
2. blank out and be the cause of 3 minutes of silence because the whole school is waiting for you to say your command
(urgh. ): look at sarah/chinwen who will hint to me, and it'll be so obvious to people standing upstairs.)
3. my voice will break
(the school will laugh, but aiyah never mind lah. (: life goes on.)
4. i wont be loud enough
(use the mic ._.)
5. i'll faint/collapse/die on stage
(st johns will rush to save me, before the ambulance is called (: if i die, i go to heaven. :D)
life goes on.
ohyah, evelyn's letter sort of (sort of only) brightened up my day. it was so full of nonsense (as usual) and little bits of confessions of her love for me. lol i think she reads sunbeamm, but leaves no trace of her prescence.
ooh, 310 won preliminary round 1 of class debate today! miss choo huier was the best speaker :D kudos to kakay, huili and huier! <3
hahhahaah okay whatever leave the rest to God already. polish boots and sleeeeeeep.
butterflies still fluttering about.
life goes on.
it's okay dont be nervous/scared/depressed/down <3
just give your very best, just like how you tell others to.
you are not alone. even if you screw up tomorrow, you've done your best, it's okay.
(you wont screw up dear :D)
standing at the podium, forget about the butterflies in your stomach and jelly in your legs, just focus and look at one single spot high up there.
remember to breathe from your diagphram (sp?!).
show the school what UG/guides/you've got. let them 刮目相看.
晓恩，请你一定要加油。show that you are worthy as a cfc (chlorofluorocarbon ._.) (:
once in three years, you know you can do it.
pray and thank God for His strength.
with Christ, all things are possible.
God is with you, He is standing by His child.
dont be afraid; give it your all!
rid your self-consciousness.
love,
(:
hahaha guess who.
was 憋-ing tears after lunch drill today. (or yesterday, for that matter, since it's already 15th august. aka THE DAY OF PARADE. -idontknowwhatemoticontoput-) felt super lousy cos the voice was so soft. and you know what? i think part of the reason for an urge to cry was miss guo si yan. i dont know why, she was absolutely sweet and thoughtful and sincere and real when she asked if i was okay and went on to praise and that it'll be alright. yanquan was sweet too. i ku-shu-ed to her. (ohman ohman ohman ._.) sigh okay never mind, tomorrow will be a better day. no shucks, today.
trying to imagine standing on the podium,
i can feel the butterflies.
urgh.
worst case scenarios-
1. shout wrong command
(the school wont know, the squad wont move, just carry on with the right command.)
2. blank out and be the cause of 3 minutes of silence because the whole school is waiting for you to say your command
(urgh. ): look at sarah/chinwen who will hint to me, and it'll be so obvious to people standing upstairs.)
3. my voice will break
(the school will laugh, but aiyah never mind lah. (: life goes on.)
4. i wont be loud enough
(use the mic ._.)
5. i'll faint/collapse/die on stage
(st johns will rush to save me, before the ambulance is called (: if i die, i go to heaven. :D)
life goes on.
ohyah, evelyn's letter sort of (sort of only) brightened up my day. it was so full of nonsense (as usual) and little bits of confessions of her love for me. lol i think she reads sunbeamm, but leaves no trace of her prescence.
ooh, 310 won preliminary round 1 of class debate today! miss choo huier was the best speaker :D kudos to kakay, huili and huier! <3
hahhahaah okay whatever leave the rest to God already. polish boots and sleeeeeeep.
butterflies still fluttering about.
life goes on.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
voice is dying. ._.
eek, im very tired ):
roar never mind (:
have alot of things to say, but mind's abit too wonky tonky to think properly.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
voice is dying. ._.
eek, im very tired ):
roar never mind (:
have alot of things to say, but mind's abit too wonky tonky to think properly.
Monday, August 11, 2008
senseless.
i have so many things to say, so much that i dont know where to start.
some things are better left unsaid. (:
i think im bottling up too much.
dad's singing is disrupting my thoughts ._.
(it's so loud O: )
made up my mind already, set. [:
i think im so similar to mom in this aspect.
hahahah forget it.
if you've read till here, you've wasted one minute of your life.
this is the end of a senseless post, goodbye. (:
/edit- btw, anyone knows of better methods/blog hosts that upload photos faster? (besides blogger, it's so irritating :( )
some things are better left unsaid. (:
i think im bottling up too much.
dad's singing is disrupting my thoughts ._.
(it's so loud O: )
made up my mind already, set. [:
i think im so similar to mom in this aspect.
hahahah forget it.
if you've read till here, you've wasted one minute of your life.
this is the end of a senseless post, goodbye. (:
/edit- btw, anyone knows of better methods/blog hosts that upload photos faster? (besides blogger, it's so irritating :( )
Sunday, August 03, 2008
THANK YOU; FIGHT.
THANK YOU GOD FOR HELPING ME FIND MY DONATION CARD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU <3
shoo you lousy self! STAND UP AND FIGHT.
I KNOW I CAN DO IT.
COME ON, STOP DISAPPOINTING YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE.
FIGHT.
yay alot of outings/gatherings coming up!!!
- airport to fetch monghun this tuesday (finally!)
- buddy patrol outing this friday aft connect singapore (decide where to go!)
- celine's house + giant ikea with THE THREE CRAZY PEOPLE :D (YAY WE HAVENT TALKED FOR SO LONG SO FUN SO FUN SO FUN! EEHEEHEE I MISS YOU ALL!)
SHUCKS IM SUPER HIGH NOW. LET'S GO! IH! LET'S GO!
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
EXTRA NOTE TO SELF
LIST OF OVERDUE WORK + STUFF TO DO:
- CHINESE ZUO WEN x2 (qing2 + organ donation)
- GEOG SIA
- CHINESE DU SHU BAO GAO
- MATHS WORKSHEET
- PHYSICS WS 7.1 + 8.1
- ACCOUNTS FOR GRAD NIGHT FUNDRAISING
- SEMINAR PRESENTATION
- CHEM WS 20
- DEBATE STUFF (HAHAHAH GO 310 :D I THINK WE'LL END UP DYING OF LAUGHTER HALFWAY ._.)
TRALALALALA WHAT ELSE AIYAH CANNOT THINK ALR. SORRY IF CAPS IS BLINDING YOUR EYES. :D
LIFE IS GOOD <3 THANK GOD IM ALIVE!
shoo you lousy self! STAND UP AND FIGHT.
I KNOW I CAN DO IT.
COME ON, STOP DISAPPOINTING YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE.
FIGHT.
yay alot of outings/gatherings coming up!!!
- airport to fetch monghun this tuesday (finally!)
- buddy patrol outing this friday aft connect singapore (decide where to go!)
- celine's house + giant ikea with THE THREE CRAZY PEOPLE :D (YAY WE HAVENT TALKED FOR SO LONG SO FUN SO FUN SO FUN! EEHEEHEE I MISS YOU ALL!)
SHUCKS IM SUPER HIGH NOW. LET'S GO! IH! LET'S GO!
LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
EXTRA NOTE TO SELF
LIST OF OVERDUE WORK + STUFF TO DO:
- CHINESE ZUO WEN x2 (qing2 + organ donation)
- GEOG SIA
- CHINESE DU SHU BAO GAO
- MATHS WORKSHEET
- PHYSICS WS 7.1 + 8.1
- ACCOUNTS FOR GRAD NIGHT FUNDRAISING
- SEMINAR PRESENTATION
- CHEM WS 20
- DEBATE STUFF (HAHAHAH GO 310 :D I THINK WE'LL END UP DYING OF LAUGHTER HALFWAY ._.)
TRALALALALA WHAT ELSE AIYAH CANNOT THINK ALR. SORRY IF CAPS IS BLINDING YOUR EYES. :D
LIFE IS GOOD <3 THANK GOD IM ALIVE!
death.
i need need need to get my life back on track.
help me, God!
maybe i should quit schooling and rest for a year or smth. :D
ah well.
reading catherine lim's "unhurried thoughts at my funeral" currently..
makes you ponder and look at your own life.
at least it did for me.
what would happen if i died tmrw?
will people cry?
hmm, i wouldnt want people to cry for my death.
i think i might die with regrets cos perhaps.. i didnt put in my best effort on earth, i didnt have enough courage to share Christ's love with everyone, i wasnt a good testimony...
i cant wait to see God, but then again im afraid to see God.
if i die tmrw, but my death can bring the salvation of grandma and everyone else (friends, relatives, so much more), i'll gladly give up my life (:
roar it's quite depressing to think about the scene at my funeral.
please dont cry for me, i'll be in heaven with God! (:
are you ready to face judgement?
the Bible says that in the end times, there will be killings, war and natural disasters. the world will be plagued with sadness and sufferings... on judgement day, we'll stand before the Almighty, to face up to what we have done, and what we have not.
do other people sometimes ponder about death?
death is such a morbid issue, yet none of us can escape death.
i quote from her book, "Death is the greatest and most successful democracy."
was sharing with mom what a powerful sentence this was, she disagreed.
with Christ, death is defeated. only those who believe in Him will be saved.
i dont want to see my relatives and friends in Hell ):
Lord, wont you reveal yourself?
message was "In God You can Trust". fell asleep halfway, sorry.
life is slightly in a mess right now, i guess i really need to trust Him
and throw in lots of willpower and self-control.
i've tons of overdue work, how ):
slowly, plod.
back to IH, ciao (:
12 days left to ndp parade '08!
help me, God!
maybe i should quit schooling and rest for a year or smth. :D
ah well.
reading catherine lim's "unhurried thoughts at my funeral" currently..
makes you ponder and look at your own life.
at least it did for me.
what would happen if i died tmrw?
will people cry?
hmm, i wouldnt want people to cry for my death.
i think i might die with regrets cos perhaps.. i didnt put in my best effort on earth, i didnt have enough courage to share Christ's love with everyone, i wasnt a good testimony...
i cant wait to see God, but then again im afraid to see God.
if i die tmrw, but my death can bring the salvation of grandma and everyone else (friends, relatives, so much more), i'll gladly give up my life (:
roar it's quite depressing to think about the scene at my funeral.
please dont cry for me, i'll be in heaven with God! (:
are you ready to face judgement?
the Bible says that in the end times, there will be killings, war and natural disasters. the world will be plagued with sadness and sufferings... on judgement day, we'll stand before the Almighty, to face up to what we have done, and what we have not.
do other people sometimes ponder about death?
death is such a morbid issue, yet none of us can escape death.
i quote from her book, "Death is the greatest and most successful democracy."
was sharing with mom what a powerful sentence this was, she disagreed.
with Christ, death is defeated. only those who believe in Him will be saved.
i dont want to see my relatives and friends in Hell ):
Lord, wont you reveal yourself?
message was "In God You can Trust". fell asleep halfway, sorry.
life is slightly in a mess right now, i guess i really need to trust Him
and throw in lots of willpower and self-control.
i've tons of overdue work, how ):
slowly, plod.
back to IH, ciao (:
12 days left to ndp parade '08!
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