So every trigger I could think of should have motivated me to finish writing, but I was as emotionless as a grave digger and it was as if I've been running on a treadmill when I could've left that fucking place and run everywhere else. And in the last hours of 31st december, have I not seen Allende's face, her eyes an image of a bigger vision of tomorrow with her look of clemency and assertion, I could have stopped and concluded that writing was not my thing in the end.

And maybe I am not the best, or in the x spot of the writer I want to be (her, ofcourse) but I can always learn. It might not be my time now, but in youth should we continue to dream but in age, should we not stop reaching and work for them. Sometimes writing seemed to be the worse rewarding job/hobby ever but a good friend just reminded myself why I loved it in the first place.

With this, I shall declare hath as my last post in this blog and will be migrating.

Please do visit

theshadowofawallflower.wordpress.com!

Have a great year ahead!

I am telling you that we are all in the gutter tgth.

And that everybody is gonna be alone in the end, we are all gonna be alone in the end, but it is gonna be alright because we all gonna be alone together.

Yes everybody is gonna be together alone.

Its been sitting there with a post or two for a few weeks and no one have read it.

The reason why it is so placid and un-visited likka well adorn grave of a little unknown stranger is because I'm scared. God knows why.

I still do not know whether Imma publish my short stories there but imma keep it open as a creative site, less demented and depressing hahahahaha defs.

I know I might seem subdued and retrenched, but nothing like that.

Actually maybe just a little. I had fell off a balance to the scale where my dire working system subsequently shut down on me when I needed my emotional intelligence the most.

So what happens after that are probably a display of an infant Nafisah, losing virtue in silence.

Anyway, I just realized that I am solely on a mission to feed my kittens til they're a ball of fur and a containment of fresh fat deposits. Tried to talk them into being lazy and all the benefits, but since they refuse to let me finish, I have no other way. Besides, spoke to one the cats the other day and he said, being fed &fat (pun intended) is a happy life &should be achieved by all cats in the world. You gotta understand tho, my kittens, especially that they are twins, have a true blue talent of a gymnast when playing with one another, &sometimes we mistook them as monkeys in the assets of cats. Our imagination really runs wild, &I can actually picture that omg. At times I have actually wondered how they'd look like in human form, and that if it's conceivable, I might relate to them better than I can to any of my brothers.

I had great thrills the past few weeks, on some occasion; resurrected, but I die often so I come alive just as much too. Been needing to have an outlet so stay tune!