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Thursday, May 14, 2020
Hi Blogger. It has been a while since I last pen down my thoughts. I don't know how to start this off.. I have tons to express myself, but I just kinda feel devastated. Tired. Pain. Numb. This Ramadhan is definitely a test for me. Saat aku cuba balik untuk mendekatiMu, berserah kepadaMu, aku diuji. Aku lalai selama ni.. Mungkin aku belum cuba sepenuhnya untuk menjadi insan yang lebih baik.. Tapi aku dah penat sangat untuk terus bertahan dan bersabar lagi... Jika dia bukan untukku, kau jauhkanlah dia daripadaku.. Toxic. That's the word to describe the relationship. Maybe we both will be just a lesson for one another. We both do not understand one another. Always picking up fights. We both came from different family background. Truth be told, I'm tired with his family. Bila kau kahwin dengan seseorang, kau kahwin dengan keluarga dia sekali. I just wish I have a wonderful mother-in-law whom I can love dearly like my own mother. But with that character ... It is a sin, yes. Dosa aku tanggung. But how can I ikhlaskan hati diri sendiri eh? Susah. Been through too much already la. I've been keeping quiet all this while and show my respect cos I still pandang dia. If everything is over, you stay away from me. DON'T MAKE ME LET LOOSE. YOU WON'T LIKE TO SEE THAT PART OF ME. I've been keeping a hell lot inside. Doesn't mean you are older, you deserve respect. Doesn't mean you are older, you are always right. Stop nosing around in our affairs as well. I was upset at first but now I just feel so angsty thinking about all of this. I should end here for now. Bye. Friday, November 30, 2018 
When was th last time I visited th library? Many, many years ago. And recently, I've just started back my reading hobby. Since husband is always back late from work and I'm deadly bored at home. Just wanted to share about the above book that I've borrowed. "Aku Turut Bahagia" by Asmah Hashim, 580 pages. I tell you, I can finish this book in just 2-3 days. And it's been so long since I last read and cried so badly! Makes me feel relieved. I don't know why. Terbawak-bawak emosi padahal setakat cerita aje. Hahaha. This book is about a sensitive issue, poligami.
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"Ija… abang tahu, Ija isteri yang baik dan jujur. Abang tak pernah pertikaikan layanan Ija terhadap abang. Cuma, abang perlukan seseorang untuk bantu Ija menguruskan maahad. Izinkan abang berkahwin lagi, Ija.”
Ummi Khadeeja tergamam. Hanya matanya yang berbicara. Angin tiada, ribut pun tidak, tiba-tiba pokok bergoyang. Selama 16 tahun hidup bersama, hari ini suaminya berterus terang ingin berkahwin lagi. Haruskah dia tersenyum? Demi cinta dan agama, Ummi Khadeeja berkorban. Jika suaminya bahagia dengan perkahwinan ini, dia akan turut bahagia. Cuma, dia berharap pengorbanan ini tidak disia-siakan. Sayangnya, tidak semua orang boleh berkongsi kasih. Saat Ummi Khadeeja pasrah dengan takdir hidupnya, Syifa’ Umaira pula meminta sesuatu yang mustahil. Dia memaksa Amir Hudzaifa menceraikan isteri pertama. Hancur luluh hati Ummi Khadeeja. Sanggupkah dia berpisah dengan suaminya? Tegakah dia melihat anaknya membesar tanpa ayah di sisi? Jika pengunduran ini bisa membahagiakan suaminya, dia rela berkorban sekali lagi. "
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I am only halfway reading this novel. Best cerita dia! Perempuan sesabar Ummi Khadeeja, perempuan sedengki Syifa' Umaira. Can't wait for th ending! I heard there's a Part 2 for this book. "Sesalan Tidak Terucap". And I hope it's available at the Jurong West library.
Labels: pastime Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Hi Blogger.
This is a random post. Am just ranting out my grudges which I've kept for so long.
Look at th below post.
So there's that b*tch who nak claim aku riak? HAHA. Look at you now. Tak ade duit nak carik rumah sendiri, jantan takde cpf, penumpang, menyusahkan orang tua 24 jam bla bla bla .. Aku post kat ig aku about th HLE application cos aku tau kau stalk page aku. So aku nak buktikan kat korang yang kite ni mampu beli rumah. Sape je cakap yang kite nak duduk rumah mak eh? Weekdays skrg kite pun duduk rumah aku pe. Takde bende pon nak bodek dengan orang tua. Kite memang impikan rumah sendiri daripade dulu lagi. Part mana suami aku menyusahkan orang tua dia eh? Tiap-tiap bulan dia kasi beratus kot. Yang dia mintak kalau die da sesak pun, berape puluh dollar je balik. Tak jejak ratus. And tak jejak ribu pun. Dah bagus seh dia kasi. And sorry k. Kite ni bukan golongan mata duitan. And there's nothing wrong by posting whatever I want on my ig. Abeh kau bukak aib suami aku, kau mengata kite banyak-banyak selame ni kat kau nye page bole pulak eh? Posting tu sebenarnye bukan tunjuk riak, bengap. Itu tergantung kepade NIAT kite. Niat aku ni nak buktikan kau sorang je. And pasal bag gucci yang laki aku belikan pun kau nak cakap aku riak? Wth? Aku post cos aku happy, bukan niat nak menunjuk. Merepek gile ni pompan. Tu lah. Lain kali jangan nak mengata, menghina orang sangat. Nanti terkena balik kat batang hidung sendiri. Aku pun tak nak cakap banyak sangat la kan cos tak tau nasib kite ni macam mane. But as of now, we will go through all of this patiently. Susah senang, kite sama-sama.
Labels: Oh fucka fucka you Thursday, November 22, 2018
Hi Blogger. It's been some time since my last update.
Just received a good news few minutes ago...
Earliest Completion Date: 17-Jan-2019
which means we will collect the house keys on 17th Jan, eight weeks starting from today! ☺
Haven't I tell you that we didn't get Nek Jah's house cos there was some other buyer who paid th option fee's first? Hubby was so disappointed cos our agent lembab update kita in every single thing. And there are some things which I have to do on my own. Defeats th purpose of engaging a salesperson, seriously. And so I decided to do everything myself. I viewed another last 2 units - Blk 825 & Blk 721, with ibu teman-ing me. Hubby didn't tag along cos he was frustrated as he really wanted Nek Jah's house. It's actually easy to arrange for viewing in Prop Guru. Th both units we viewed was a vacant unit. And I chose th latter. It's th same as Blk 929, with no kitchen cabinets at all, and in original HDB condition. And th seller's agent for Blk 721 was th same seller agent which we met when we viewed Blk 929. He's very helpful throughout th whole process! Appreciate much. It's not that difficult doing it ourselves on th resale portal. Everything that they need, I just have to submit it online. But, I made a mistake with my HLE. I accidentally put my name as "Applicant 1" and hubby as "Applicant 2". I didn't know that it is equals to buyer 1 and buyer 2. Which means, I am th first owner. I hope I can speak to th officer to get our names swapped. I've tried calling hdb before th submission but they advised to leave it as it is cos it will affect th seller's documentations. Hais. It's very weird though cos usually it's th husband yang first owner kan. Oh wells. I really hope that can be changed cos it's bothering my husband, I think. Hmm.
We will visit th unit again on this Sunday cos th flooring repairs have been completed! Out of goodwill, JTC is willing to replace th old floor tiles to new tiles. It's th exact same tiles actually. Just that it is new ones. We're still gonna hack it off anyway. I thought of doing vinyl flooring for th whole house cos it's nice, cheap (no need for hacking, just overlay). But hubby wanna use homogeneous tiles for th whole house. I don't know if we do a bit of both, will it look funny? Thought of homogeneous tiles for th living room, and vinyl for all bedrooms. But will be getting almost th same shade lah so it won't look weird right.
We have surveyed a few reno company. And I think we might engage Casa Interior Design to revamp our home. They require 3 months payslip for th reno loan, and hubby just change to a new, better job. So we will have to wait till March to engage their service. For reno loans under joint applicant, either 1 of us gross monthly wage have to be above 2K. And I'm not applicable as of now cos my pay will only be raised to 2K on next year April. If hubby rajin OT for these 3 months, then only we can apply for th loan. So, pelan-pelan tunggu lah. Bagus jugak lah tunggu cos we still can try to save up. Our senoman savings is about 10K, my bonus plus savings I'll try to chip in another 3K. Total around 13K by cash, and another 22K I guess th reno loan. Budget max 35K lah. Cos we're taking th whole house package, which th average for th basic package is about 25K-30K? We also want them to do a built-in wardrobe and TV console. K lah we're very excited for all this! Kalau amik rumah orang yang dah siap, tak lah berape excited sangat kan. That's why I chose a vacant unit cos nak bikin senang.
We have started to buy some barang rumah slowly. Hubby have deposit $198 at Courts for a 55" Sony TV with a soundbar, which cost $3,198. Dekni tak sabar-sabar padahal TV tu actually tak berape penting. Kasi die settle tu TV pelan-pelan every month bayar. Nope, we did not and will not take up monthly instalments to purchase home appliances. Nak bayar interest buat ape. Rugi je. I will head down to Harvey Norman tmr with hubby and made a 20% deposit for a Hitachi fridge, and a Fisher & Paykel washing machine. Lagi skrg ni tengah black friday sales. Mane tau bole dapat lagi murah. Last few weeks kite pergi, th salesperson gave us a package of $1,820 for both items with free installation. 20% baru bayar around $360 aje. So, why not? I thought of purchasing at Audiohouse at first but they cannot take in deposit. And tempat dia pulak jauh. Maybe one day we'll head there lah for some other stuff. Aircon ke, hob and hood. We'll see later.
I just hope all things will go smoothly for us. Yang aku takutkan is th reno. Cos hdb kite tak rase sangat cos it's by cpf. Ikat 25 tahun bayar $700+ per month. Our combined cpf is more than enough. Th reno and beli barang-barang rumah tu is using our salary. Kene ikat perut and work hard lah for th whole year. Ikat 5 tahun I think pay around $400+ per month. Hopefully by 2020 dah bole beraya di rumah baru! I told hubby not to invite anyone for open house for next year raya. Even though th house might be completed sebelum raya. We'll do a kenduri after raya next year then when barang rumah dah almost complete.
I'll end my post for now. Bye!
Labels: and i'm excited |
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