moooooooooooooved.

PRELUDE at university cultural centre, NUS.

the dressing room felt like of the setting of a hollywood backstage.

and we were given backstage passes with the word ARTISTE on it.

pity i forgot to snap a picture of that.

a new blogskin because i am an idiot. i editted my template and murdered the whole page that i had before this. after that, i couldnt figure out how to undo it. and now, my pink tag box so totally clash with the whole current template. i felt so devastated at my silly mistake that i could not bring myself to edit the entire url of all the links that i used to have. so taraaa. someone please smack the stupidity of out me.

on a lighter note, i noticed something about people. about we could all be 17/18 year olds, born in the year 1989 and yet our mindset and reactions are still so different. i was blog-hopping and ended up at this particular girl's blog. i thought she was a secondary two kid. coz of the way she wrote and all and the trivial stuffs that bothered her (apparently very very much). turned out she already is in poly.

but anyway, last night was fantastic.

what happened after the show wasnt.

coz it sucks waiting for a call.

lets make this short and sweet.

i just wanna say that since the week's coming to end, i should really plan ahead to make better use of this coming week. march's already drawing to a close so its about time that i wake up to see that im still no better then i was a few months back. i am not any nearer to being any better in any of my subjects. 3 months down. 7 months to go.

last week was spent being an emotional basket-case. this week flew by doing hmm, nothing at all in particular. and so coming week, i swear i shall make better use of my time. 7 months or so more before i can safely spit at all damn tutorial notes and burn them all.

but until then, i should really talk to myself more. like, seriously. i am not going psycho but i neglect my conscience too often. and all these guilt-trips about wasting time is just shit. now blogging is not a waste of time because otherwise, i would be reflecting while im studying anw. oh gosh, enough geek talk. i promised to make this short.

dearest aisyah,
you are smart and you love books. now time to act on it.

my syf is in 11 days. until then!

im not in school at the moment because i am down with gastric flu! ahahah. im not sure what that is, but e kind doc gave me 2 days MC for that. i think the gastric flu is for all the times i skip meals because i was too lazy to buy food or simply wanting to save money by not eating.

huahuahua. time to eat isyah!

everybody, meet PEANUTS! i bought her for a certain someone's special event. hurhurr. im just hoping that that certain someone is not reading my blog at this point of time and ruin the surprise. this little furball is currently staying in my house until we meet up with her. the name peanuts was given by roy, apparently the rodent is plural? hoho.

can i get a hamster for my special day too? *hint*

do not ever get hamsters with shakirah. hahahaha! she suffered "internal bleeding" quote/unquote from trying to stroke the hamster from inside the cage. her hand got stuck in the cage and almost flung the cage at me with peanuts still in the cage! lmao.

but anyway, wasting time with roy is uber fun! a sudden turn of events plus a few smses later landed us playing with peanuts under my block, roaming amk central and the playground of amk park.

peanuts is so adorable!

to all readers above the age of 6 years, dont ever try to fit yourself into a toddler-size swing or that little cartoon-looking chair-rocker thingy found at playgrounds. after squeezing myself into them, i found that i was so stuck and almost couldnt get out. hruhurr. ended up at the top of the spider-net thingy and we just sat on the ropes. nvm that the ropes were threatening to slice my behind. ahahaha. and someone sempat bergulung 2 batang anti-gravity style.

took a whole lot of redundent vids but i am too much of a noob to figure out how to upload videos without uploading them to youtube first. hahaha. oh well, maybe next time! ta-raaa! :D

please ignore my puffy face. hoho.

it is like everyone of you is watching me come undone.

i realize that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young. the best index to a person's character is how he treats people who cannot do him any good. im not talking about me. but rather, about you. how beautiful are we all inside?

it never fails to amaze with the kind of little surprises that life hands over to me. these past few days, has been one of those recovery episodes. but at the same time, one of those moments where God sprinkle a lil coincidences to test just how much we really do wanna recover.

ahhh, the great mysteries of life bukan?

after the tiring prop-making for the syf, i rushed to meet dear intan. it has beeen forever since i last saw her. hurhurr. we chilled at mcD near my house and one of the delivery guy whom we had hung out with had asked for my number. his face was extremely familiar though at that point of time, i couldnt quite put my finger on the reason why. i soon discovered it was because that guy was HIS relative and friend. dammit, coincidence no.1. of all the guys in singapore, i couldnt even make friends with one that was not related to him.

saturday on the other hand was one of the sweetest moment for i had spent it with fuzzy-wuzzy. early morn, had to make my way to CJC for a history seminar. and me being me, somehow, something just HAD to go wrongg.

i broke the chair that i sat on during the CJC hist sem! its the fold-able type of chairs you know, the type at the cinemas. and the moment i sat on it, darn chair-seat plummeted to the ground! (as seen above) humiliation! am i secretly O B E S E?! :x

went over to town with faz where we did, basically nothing. haha. because the both of us were totally broke, we decided to hang out at the mcCafe and shared a giant cup of double chocs. we played games from our primary school days, fawn over cute guys, got envious over Eurasians, laughed at certain queer characters within our vicinity and cam-whored! oh yes, we were chased out of the neo-print booths as well. haha.

i think eurasians are just naturally attractive. have you ever wondered how they could just be wearing any old spag top and some shorts, tie their hair in some cant-be-bothered manner, throw in a pair of large shades and voila, they could still be oozing with sex-appeal and confidence?! now, if our Asians were to do that, we'd look like rats or something.

i dreamt about him today and because of that, was feeling a lil melancholic when i woke up. but much to my surprise, he called me today. apparently he had dreamt about me too. coincidence no. 2. and the sound of his voice.. was comforting and yet something about his tone was strangely foreign and i soon realise that i could no longer guess what was in his head anymore- a sign that of that chasm that had grown over time.

math test tomorrow. im dead meat. nyehhehee. (:

i love my mother so terribly much. i sometime thinks she pamper me too much. so maybe my mother is no fab cook, she works all the time and she is rather.. clingy. but i love my mom very very much. i cooked rice and it was as hard as rock. and my mom fried some chicken wings. and that was dinner for us. our chicken wings even got invaded by tiny ants because silly her didnt know that chicken wings attracted ants. hurhur. well i didnt know either. (actually it was beakfast for me as well..)

but it was just all so sweet and simple. so much so that i would much rather make her smile by leaving boys like you. its okay that my heart's bittered and bruised. there must and always be boys to break and break this heart before one that truely matters come along.

3 days ago, i thought i would be a spinster. hurhurr.
I KNOW I KNOW. DRAMAAA KAN?

i may not know how to let anyone else in at ths point of time. and a part of me, do not intent to. there is always something sexily hawt about single girls... no?

well thats your take.

im eating maggoes that my mommy peeled for me now. and she even gave a fake plastic fork coz she knows im on the computer and wouldnt wanna drag my lazy butt to the sink to wash my dirrty dirrty fingers.

i wanna insert a picture of me and mother here. but i finally realise that i do not have a pic with her. the last pic taken prolly was of a very pre-puberty me. heh. sorry momsy.

so today i finally did my overdue CWO- corrective work order, for those unaware. i am 2 weeks late i think coz they were suppose to completed well hmmm, i cant remember anymore. hehe. anyway apart from the somewhat heated lecture/reprimanding by mr seng, i wasnt punished further for not completing cwo when i should have been. i think mr seng has a very interesting behaviour and a rather odd cockiness especially for someone his size. definitely one of those teachers that would make you chuckle one day when you grow old and reminisce. hurhurr.

but the reason why im soo hell-bent on not doing a proper cwo that SHOULD be mellowing me and teaching me a lesson is that i do not think i deserve the punishment. reason being, on the 3rd sorry time i was late, it was because i forgot what bus i should take to school. (refer entries earlier on) and for the 4th, it was because i couldnt find any shoes to go to school. rmb that my shoes we stolen? now tell me, how is that even MY FAULT. how is that even a crack to show rebellion and a lack of discipline?

it was just rotten luck. period.

my name is soap liquid. HEEHEEE. clean the benches my ARSE.

i was made to clean the benches outside the staff room- the fave spot for students to grab extra lessons by teachers. i was extremly mortified because it seems to depict a certain contrast between the ideal student and a certain me. huhurrr. must be one of God's idea of humour and life little ironies. im GENERALLY a good girl.. no? ;)

sometimes you gotta act tough. then somehow, you'll be tough as well.
well thats my theory.

sometimes your oldest friend is ur best and longest for a reason.
fuzzy, your seriously the ultimate kawan muthali. i love you fuzzy! i do not think i could get through the day without that short but meaningful call from you. :D

and sometimes you gotta be brave.
it may be good (and normal) to cry. and if you were in my situation, you would too.

but im tough. hear me rawr.
and i do not allow problems cripple me.

love may hurt. but if you dont love,
it'll hurt more.

hush now, we're the secret.

a secret so discreet that nobody knows the real deal. they may guess, they may wonder and they might not even know. whut if the participants themselves aint sure about the rules and regulations? but a secret this real and this love so deep, if nobody knows, who then, will tend to your wounds..

so maybe a lil secret could be a bit of fun. a nudge here and there, a knowing smile every now and then. then a few weeks down the road, the destination is still unclear. as humans, no matter how easy-going you may be, how care-free or how couldnt be bothered you are, somewhere along the way, you'll seek guidance. a need and a want to know the path ur heading.

and secrets dont get anywhere. they just dwindle in existance.
so what/where do i/you/we do now?

*sigh. & i didnt do any revision as i thought i would be.
*another sigh.

oh my. oh my. i woke up at 3pm today. my biological clock is not functioning. on tuesday night, i slept fer 2 hoours. went for camp and slept for 3 hours. reached home at 4pm, slept at 5pm and woke up at 10.30 pm. slept at 2am and didnt wake up till an hour ago. hurhurr. my dad who reached home from his friday prayers was appalled to find me still in bed at 3pm. wah and his screams were fuuuyoooh. kept on muttering the setan must have put kulit babi on my head. thats why i couldnt wake up. hurhurr.

so how was the mldds camp? it was fun! i love my team members even though our group name was err, belacan. i dont even know how belacan looks like. the organisers of this camp did a good job. :D only nasty thing about this camp was i spent the night hearing and telling ghost stories. and was ABIT hallucinating last night alone in my room as a result. hurhurr.

okay im hungry now. and smelly too. gotta go bathe and hopefully stay awake.
life is fab babybeth!