Tuesday, October 29, 2013
We're home!!!
So tell me why this tickers are still on my sidebar??? We aren't waiting anymore. God is so good. We are home and things are going so well----much better than anticipated. I had realistic expectations of some hard transition times, and so far, have been pleasantly surprised. Don't get me wrong, I am sure I will still face some "hard" as the months go along....but our first few days home have been nothing short of one big blessing from God. She is a joy, a delight, a ham, a social butterfly, a strong independent girl, and so very loved. Can't wait to write more, but for now this is all you get. :)
Sunday, October 13, 2013
A letter to our friends & family---
Dear friends & family,
This is sort of tough to write, but it is very much needed....especially because of the outpouring of love that has been shown our Chloe from family members, friends across the country, but especially our local friends and church family. You are the ones that have in essence brought Chloe home....and now we have to share what may seem like initially "bad"news. But in the end this is the best for Chloe and I know in my heart of hearts that is what you want too.
So.....after three years of waiting and pursuing and longing and praying for Chloe, it is time to bring her home. (Can I get a Hallelujah?!) I know we can never thank you enough for the love, support, encouragement, financial assistance, friendship and prayers over the past 3 years. It has been a long, hard journey however, we would be naive to think the "hard" is over. The real challenge is still ahead of us (transitioning her into our family and raising her)!
So the hard part is telling you how our family is going to work for the next few weeks or even months. And it is not meant to be offensive, but rather to give you all a heads up and hopefully a few answers to the "why"s of our next phase if you will. Please read these not as suggestions but rather heartfelt requests from us as we transition (and feel free to share what you know to non-blog readers who may think we've disappeared from the planet or have become non-people people). Also other adoptive friends may or may not have done something similar, every adoption is so different in circumstances, that what one family may feel the need to do another will not.....This is what we are choosing for our family.
1. We will practice a common process in the adoption world called "cocooning". It has been shown to provide lifelong benefits to the child, specifically in the areas of relationships, identity, and development. So you may not see us much at first. We are going to hunker down in our home. Our number one priority is to our daughter and building a strong bond with her. It's so important to teach her that we are her parents and that Eden, Eli, and Tobe are her siblings. It is criticial that this bond happens before she bonds with any other family or friends. The way we will do this is by staying home for a couple of weeks {or longer} until we feel that Chloe is ready to be introduced to other places. Why?
2. Please be patient with us. When we finally do leave the house, we still may stay "where ever" for shorter periods of time, arrive late and leave early. As one friend put it "good-bye may need to be implied". And when we make it to church or to Target or the grocery store where there are SO many of you lovely people, I will be wearing Chloe in a carrier. This promotes additional bonding b/w her & I. Plus it will help her from getting over-whelmed with new environments that could be over-stimulating. This also keeps others from holding her or touching her a lot. This may seem harsh and I know this will be tough at first, but we promise you, it will only last for a season and it’s the best for Chloe. Why?
Please keep in mind that Chloe's view of the world is currently limited to one room (besides the couch room where we were able to snuggle with her).......but normally she is confined to her crib room (with bare walls) and 10 other toddlers and a couple of toys that are shared between them. Places and people will be all new to our girl. It is not going to be hard for her to be over-stimulated.
3. We will do some things with Chloe that will look more like what we would do with a baby than what we should do with a toddler. Although Chloe is 18 months, her "family age" will begin when we pick her up from the orphanage. By the very nature of being in an orphanage, there are things done that are very "babyish" with her. We will not potty train as early as we did with our other kids. And even though we thought she was potty trained, it will actually be good to change diapers, play baby games, and give lots of eye contact. We will continue to feed her very much like a baby {she still takes bottles and eats cereal}, introducing new foods through baby food and working up to solid food. We will also hold her and carry her and rock her as much as she will tolerate. Why? There are two ways to look at child's age: Chronological Age and Family Age. Her chronological age is 18 months but her family age is just beginning. These things are essential to the bonding process and partly because she has not had that kind of care that all babies deserve in order to form and understand long-lasting, unconditional relationships.
4. Chris and I will need to meet all of Chloe's needs. If she needs fed, changed, held, rocked, disciplined, or helped, we will need to do all of that for quite a while. For those of you who will come to visit, please do not try to meet any of her needs as this is, again, essential to her bonding with us.
This may be exhausting and so different from how we handled our biological kids. For example, if she trips and falls at the park, it is crucial that you send her to us to comfort her or give her the bandaid . She will try to get her needs met by anyone who is willing, so until she realizes Chris and I are different from everyone else we need to meet those needs exclusively. We have to set up these safe boundaries until she can figure out how to make them for herself. We know this is against your normal instincts and even mine, that is why we are sending this out in advance so you know our expectations and know how you can help us when we’re together. Why?
It's easy to think that she is adapting so well when you see adopted children happy with strangers, smiling and getting other's attention. But at this point, those things would actually still be signs they have not figured out who we are, as their mom and dad. In their short lives, they've had many care givers. They will likely see us as simply another set of care givers for quite awhile. But we're trusting over time, they'll come to understand what it means that we are Mommy and Daddy to them and Eden, Eli, & Tobe are siblings.
5. When we discipline Chloe, it will look different than how we discipline our other children. We must do everything we can to build our bonds with our little girl, which includes how we discipline her. We will be employing a method called "time in," which basically means that we will hold her and calm her while we correct the misbehavior. This may look exhausting (and it probably is) or like it is not the most straight-forward method of discipline, but this has been a proven method of effective discipline for adopted children. Why? Well there are lots of pyschological reasons for this, but one of the ones off the top of my head is that any orphan has a lot of loss and subsequently grief that they deal with. Sending them away from us for a time out or taking away a lot of things may not be beneficial for a while and actually backwards from our ultimate goal of them feeling like they belong.
6. Chloe is not a celebrity. That sounds kind of harsh too. I want to show her off, I want to share in the testimony of how faithful God has been to us. But at the same time, taking photos of just our adopted child or pouring attention on her while ignoring our other children is not healthy for anyone. The child who is receiving all of the attention often feels singled out and siblings quickly become resentful. We appreciate all of the love and support that we were shown during our adoption process and we know that everyone is excited to meet her. Especially since most people know Chris and I due to ministry, please take cues and be very sensitive to this (like in the church hallway).
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
There are specific ways we could use your support:
BTW, Chloe has already been adopted, once she is home....she does not get adopted over and over again, she will be part of our forever family and one of the four greatest blessings God has granted us. Thanks for listening to my sentiments and may God be glorified!
This is sort of tough to write, but it is very much needed....especially because of the outpouring of love that has been shown our Chloe from family members, friends across the country, but especially our local friends and church family. You are the ones that have in essence brought Chloe home....and now we have to share what may seem like initially "bad"news. But in the end this is the best for Chloe and I know in my heart of hearts that is what you want too.
So.....after three years of waiting and pursuing and longing and praying for Chloe, it is time to bring her home. (Can I get a Hallelujah?!) I know we can never thank you enough for the love, support, encouragement, financial assistance, friendship and prayers over the past 3 years. It has been a long, hard journey however, we would be naive to think the "hard" is over. The real challenge is still ahead of us (transitioning her into our family and raising her)!
So the hard part is telling you how our family is going to work for the next few weeks or even months. And it is not meant to be offensive, but rather to give you all a heads up and hopefully a few answers to the "why"s of our next phase if you will. Please read these not as suggestions but rather heartfelt requests from us as we transition (and feel free to share what you know to non-blog readers who may think we've disappeared from the planet or have become non-people people). Also other adoptive friends may or may not have done something similar, every adoption is so different in circumstances, that what one family may feel the need to do another will not.....This is what we are choosing for our family.
1. We will practice a common process in the adoption world called "cocooning". It has been shown to provide lifelong benefits to the child, specifically in the areas of relationships, identity, and development. So you may not see us much at first. We are going to hunker down in our home. Our number one priority is to our daughter and building a strong bond with her. It's so important to teach her that we are her parents and that Eden, Eli, and Tobe are her siblings. It is criticial that this bond happens before she bonds with any other family or friends. The way we will do this is by staying home for a couple of weeks {or longer} until we feel that Chloe is ready to be introduced to other places. Why?
Chloe has been a blessed little girl. So
far, she has been given very good care by every adult in her life both at the orphanage and the transition home. However, her
little brain is learning that EVERY adult person in her life will take care of
her. For her safety and also her ability to form good relationships later in
life, we need to teach her to trust a few people, and then slowly let others
into her life. We want her to know that we are "It" for her. She is not going
to be passed off to any other care givers. So that even means the church nursery, MOPS, no date nights for a while with our wonderful teens, until we know that there has been a good attachment to us as her parents.
2. Please be patient with us. When we finally do leave the house, we still may stay "where ever" for shorter periods of time, arrive late and leave early. As one friend put it "good-bye may need to be implied". And when we make it to church or to Target or the grocery store where there are SO many of you lovely people, I will be wearing Chloe in a carrier. This promotes additional bonding b/w her & I. Plus it will help her from getting over-whelmed with new environments that could be over-stimulating. This also keeps others from holding her or touching her a lot. This may seem harsh and I know this will be tough at first, but we promise you, it will only last for a season and it’s the best for Chloe. Why?
Please keep in mind that Chloe's view of the world is currently limited to one room (besides the couch room where we were able to snuggle with her).......but normally she is confined to her crib room (with bare walls) and 10 other toddlers and a couple of toys that are shared between them. Places and people will be all new to our girl. It is not going to be hard for her to be over-stimulated.
3. We will do some things with Chloe that will look more like what we would do with a baby than what we should do with a toddler. Although Chloe is 18 months, her "family age" will begin when we pick her up from the orphanage. By the very nature of being in an orphanage, there are things done that are very "babyish" with her. We will not potty train as early as we did with our other kids. And even though we thought she was potty trained, it will actually be good to change diapers, play baby games, and give lots of eye contact. We will continue to feed her very much like a baby {she still takes bottles and eats cereal}, introducing new foods through baby food and working up to solid food. We will also hold her and carry her and rock her as much as she will tolerate. Why? There are two ways to look at child's age: Chronological Age and Family Age. Her chronological age is 18 months but her family age is just beginning. These things are essential to the bonding process and partly because she has not had that kind of care that all babies deserve in order to form and understand long-lasting, unconditional relationships.
4. Chris and I will need to meet all of Chloe's needs. If she needs fed, changed, held, rocked, disciplined, or helped, we will need to do all of that for quite a while. For those of you who will come to visit, please do not try to meet any of her needs as this is, again, essential to her bonding with us.
This may be exhausting and so different from how we handled our biological kids. For example, if she trips and falls at the park, it is crucial that you send her to us to comfort her or give her the bandaid . She will try to get her needs met by anyone who is willing, so until she realizes Chris and I are different from everyone else we need to meet those needs exclusively. We have to set up these safe boundaries until she can figure out how to make them for herself. We know this is against your normal instincts and even mine, that is why we are sending this out in advance so you know our expectations and know how you can help us when we’re together. Why?
It's easy to think that she is adapting so well when you see adopted children happy with strangers, smiling and getting other's attention. But at this point, those things would actually still be signs they have not figured out who we are, as their mom and dad. In their short lives, they've had many care givers. They will likely see us as simply another set of care givers for quite awhile. But we're trusting over time, they'll come to understand what it means that we are Mommy and Daddy to them and Eden, Eli, & Tobe are siblings.
5. When we discipline Chloe, it will look different than how we discipline our other children. We must do everything we can to build our bonds with our little girl, which includes how we discipline her. We will be employing a method called "time in," which basically means that we will hold her and calm her while we correct the misbehavior. This may look exhausting (and it probably is) or like it is not the most straight-forward method of discipline, but this has been a proven method of effective discipline for adopted children. Why? Well there are lots of pyschological reasons for this, but one of the ones off the top of my head is that any orphan has a lot of loss and subsequently grief that they deal with. Sending them away from us for a time out or taking away a lot of things may not be beneficial for a while and actually backwards from our ultimate goal of them feeling like they belong.
6. Chloe is not a celebrity. That sounds kind of harsh too. I want to show her off, I want to share in the testimony of how faithful God has been to us. But at the same time, taking photos of just our adopted child or pouring attention on her while ignoring our other children is not healthy for anyone. The child who is receiving all of the attention often feels singled out and siblings quickly become resentful. We appreciate all of the love and support that we were shown during our adoption process and we know that everyone is excited to meet her. Especially since most people know Chris and I due to ministry, please take cues and be very sensitive to this (like in the church hallway).
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
There are specific ways we could use your support:
1. Meals - if you would like to cook a meal for our
family, we welcome it. We're going to have a grueling journey back home with an
infant who is taking her first plane ride with (virtually) complete strangers
who don't speak her language. God help us and all the passengers on those
flights home! We will come back exhausted and jet-lagged (hopefully with no ankle or feet issues) and our little
blossom will be on a timezone 8 hours ahead of us. I imagine the first week that
we'll all pretty much be in a fog. My wonderful MOPS group and a church friend will be coordinating meals so if you wish, message me and I will get you in contact with them. And if you are literally one of the first, please don't be offended when we may ask to "drop and run". I have no idea what the first week will be like.
2. If you do bring a meal or just come to visit please be aware of the previously mentioned things. For the first few weeks, if you come to our house, we ask that you please call first. We do not want more than one family here at a time so as not to overwhelm anyone. We also ask that you plan for the visit to be quick. We will not feel comfortable asking you to leave, so please just do that on your own. If you come, feel free to bring your kids with you as the big 3 would love to see their friends :)
3. Companionship - I might go crazy trying to
lay low and stay near home so much. (Seriously--HUGE prayer need--pretty sure I've never stayed home). We might feel isolated and out of the loop
with our friends. We might feel tired and overwhelmed and in need of
distraction. Chris and I can possibly tag team and sneak away at times for a treat and breath of fresh air. Or if you are a parent to one of Eden, Eli, or Tobe's friends please feel free to sneak them away too. They too will be going through some adjustment.
4. Prayer - We need you to be praying for us and Chloe
in this time. This transition is critical in her development as a person, and
the things we do with her as she enters our family will lay the groundwork for
relationships for her for the rest of her life. No pressure there! We need
prayers for wisdom, patience, and selflessness. Also prayers for all the siblings as they transition and patience as they witness the "hard". Pray they won't feel neglected and especially Tobe who for 5.5 years has been my "baby". (sniff, sniff)
5. Check-ins - Please leave us voicemails, emails, texts, fb messages, or good óle snail mail
just to let us know you're thinking of us, praying for us, or available to
help. Even if we don't respond to your messages, we will receive them and they
will be a comfort to us.
6. We are weak and need your help to stay strong. Both Chris and I are people pleasers to some extent. Now that you
know our plan, please don't ask us to break this plan. Stay strong and hold us accountable too. Ask us if that's
what we really want, and remind us of why we're doing what we're doing. We need
your help to stick to the plan!
If you have any questions feel free to ask and we will do our best to answer. Remember all of this is super new to us too and we'll probably make a lot of mistakes. But we thank you so much for praying with us through it and for the grace you'll extend to us along the way! We love you all and can't wait for you to meet our newest addition to the Strickland Family!
BTW, Chloe has already been adopted, once she is home....she does not get adopted over and over again, she will be part of our forever family and one of the four greatest blessings God has granted us. Thanks for listening to my sentiments and may God be glorified!
For further reading, check out these links:
Monday, September 2, 2013
More of Day 3 (Meetcha Day)
So that you can see her smile....a little more for your viewing pleasure.....
So we had limited resources in our little room for the day.....
so we are well aware that she has "food" on her face. :)
Ethiopia: Day 3 of 9. August 2nd.
MEETCHA DAY!
We arrived a bit late at 8 am or so. We made it through customs & immigration. All of our luggage was there (praise!) and headed outside to meet our driver. It was rainy. (Rainy season in full swing).
By the time we make it to our guest house, the adrenaline is rushing and we think we are going to meet Miss Chloe any minute. We meet another CHI family right off the bat (actually had met online and communicated and were able to bring some motion sickness medicine for their sweet 10 year old). Then our driver told us we would be picked up by our agency at 3:30-4:00. What? We had to wait 6+ hours??? We were a bit frustrated, but didn't want to rock any boat and start off our trip with complaints. So we settled into our room and laid down to take a nap. About the time we fell asleep (maybe 30 minutes later), we get a call from the front desk that our driver was waiting on us! Apparently, Addis has it's own time! So 3:30 meant 9:30 and we were on our way, albeit very tired now after a tease of a nap. What we had waited for.........................................................
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| Daddy's little girl! |
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| Little Miss Serious |
As you can see she cried for about 20 seconds. Then we cuddled, she fell asleep on us, we slept a little ourselves, we fed her, we changed her, we played, we may have dozed off again (remember the 24 hour like flight) all in all the day was perfect.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Ethiopia: Day 2 of 9. August 1st.
Well this is kind of our "lost" day. We flew from DC (Dulles International Airport) directly to Ethiopia on Ethiopian Airlines. The flight itself was (only) 14 hours. But add the 8 hours we lost to the time change and you have almost a full day. We arrived in Ethiopia on the 2nd. So this was a lot of movie watching, music listening, should have been reading time.
So by far our favorite movie was 42. We had not seen it yet and watched it for the first time. Here we were headed to Africa. I couldn't help but be grateful for how far we've come. And I sincerely THANK courageous people like Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey who paved the way. And that was 15 some years before Martin Luther King's famous freedom speech. I am so grateful for MLK and his dream:
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| Our gate was right below the Ethiopian flag! How convenient! |
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| Ready to board in 10 minutes. Ethiopia or bust! |
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| Our airline. |
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| Just getting started! |
So by far our favorite movie was 42. We had not seen it yet and watched it for the first time. Here we were headed to Africa. I couldn't help but be grateful for how far we've come. And I sincerely THANK courageous people like Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey who paved the way. And that was 15 some years before Martin Luther King's famous freedom speech. I am so grateful for MLK and his dream:
"I have a dream that one day....little black boys and black girls will be able
to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."
MLK 8.28.63
This sister and these brothers are ready to join hands, Miss Chloe. We are coming!
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Ethiopia: Day 1 of 9. July 31st
OK, well on day 1 we actually were not yet in Ethiopia. But as I am wanting to share details of our trip I feel like I can't leave out day 1.
Day 1 is when we left Missouri. Sure we only made it to DC, but we were starting on our adventure. Is this really happening? We've been waiting for 2.5 years and now we are on our way !!! Pinch me. Lots of emotions running through me. Will we like our guest house? Will they have electricity? Does our luggage weigh too much? What did I forget to pack?
Also we left Missouri and our 3 big kids were still there. So blessed to have the Gerdel family (truly our family) take care of my babies. I wouldn't have it any other way---well except for maybe their doting grandparents :) (which plan to on trip 2). I knew we were going to be away from them for what seemed like a long while and that was going to be hard.
This post (as we headed to DC) is to simply say THANK YOU. Thank you to those that have gotten us here. These past 2 years, you've encouraged, supported, financed, helped, baked, ran, bought, donated, prayed, and encouraged some more. The time had finally come. We do have one adoptive friend who at one point said we should have called our 5K, C.H.L.O.E's run (or fund)....CHLOE standing for the Church Helping Love Others for Eternity!!! What a great reminder of when we give, tell, offer hope, encourage we are making an eternal difference. Not only is Chloe receiving her forever family....she has the opportunity to receive Jesus as Lord & Savior and to have a new family for all eternity (and that does mean most of YOU will be her family)!
So to all of you thankyou....But on the 31st special thanks to Missy and Andrew who love my kids like their own, Jessica and Ryan who sacrificially kept our dog (huge sacrifice of yard and perhaps of non-scratched legs), Tyann Marcink and Amy Lanemann for watching our kids when Missy couldn't, Mark and Becky Baxa, Dr. Turner, and everyone else sending up prayers on our behalf as we headed off to meet our daughter!!!
Day 1 is when we left Missouri. Sure we only made it to DC, but we were starting on our adventure. Is this really happening? We've been waiting for 2.5 years and now we are on our way !!! Pinch me. Lots of emotions running through me. Will we like our guest house? Will they have electricity? Does our luggage weigh too much? What did I forget to pack?
Also we left Missouri and our 3 big kids were still there. So blessed to have the Gerdel family (truly our family) take care of my babies. I wouldn't have it any other way---well except for maybe their doting grandparents :) (which plan to on trip 2). I knew we were going to be away from them for what seemed like a long while and that was going to be hard.
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| Day 1: Sitting at STL airport ready to board for DC! |
So to all of you thankyou....But on the 31st special thanks to Missy and Andrew who love my kids like their own, Jessica and Ryan who sacrificially kept our dog (huge sacrifice of yard and perhaps of non-scratched legs), Tyann Marcink and Amy Lanemann for watching our kids when Missy couldn't, Mark and Becky Baxa, Dr. Turner, and everyone else sending up prayers on our behalf as we headed off to meet our daughter!!!
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| We're on our way, Chloe! |
Monday, August 19, 2013
Are you a Piece to the Puzzle?
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
UPDATE: We ended up selling 2 puzzles---470 pieces and then some. God is so faithful through His people. It's like each of you joined to share a small kiss with our Chloe. I can't wait to post pics of the finished project. We are blessed!
Are YOU a Piece to the Puzzle?
UPDATE: We ended up selling 2 puzzles---470 pieces and then some. God is so faithful through His people. It's like each of you joined to share a small kiss with our Chloe. I can't wait to post pics of the finished project. We are blessed!
Are YOU a Piece to the Puzzle?
Paypal Donation Button on right sidebar. ----------------------------------------------------------->
So here is the deal. Chris and I have been contemplating on whether or not to do this---but we need to have one last "hoorah" so to speak in our fundraising efforts. Besides our Love 2 Run 4 Love (in which we have split the proceeds with a different family the past 2 years) we have not had a fundraiser since Jan. 2012 (Coffee for Chloe)---basically because we thought we were doing really well and were in the sit & wait game. But because of the miraculous speed from referral to court and the 1 week notice to fly out and perhaps the busy flying season into Ethiopia our plane tickets were quite a bit more pricey than we expected. They have gone down a bit since then, but none the less we find ourselves short for Trip #2, where we will officially BRING CHLOE HOME! :)
This is where YOU come in. Are you our final piece to the puzzle? Our FINAL fundraiser? Chris and I each have almost 1000 friends on Facebook, 500 of those are mutual friends. Now I know MANY of you have already given to our cause. You've run the race, you've bought items in our Labor of Love auction, or you donated items into the auction, you've drank coffee, you've generously given, and perhaps you ran again....This post is not for you. But there are many of you who have followed our story, "liked" our pictures, loved us from afar, prayed for us and rejoiced as we posted the news of our newest daughter......but perhaps have not been able to give---this post IS for you. The old adage "every little bit counts" is going to be true for this last hoorah.
We are going to sell pieces to a puzzle. Each puzzle piece is only $5. There are only 300 puzzle pieces. So the first 300 friends to respond will have the opportunity to be a part of the bigger picture. Piece by Piece. We've seen it happen before....every person doing their small part....being part of the body, the church....to share God's love in a BIG way. That's the big picture.
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| The puzzle is titled "African Friends". Although the only animals Chris and I saw were a plethora of goats, donkeys, bulls, dogs, and one camel. :) |
Side Note: Not that anyone is giving for recognition, but if you've given in any way to our adoption process, we have you written down and you are etched in our hearts. Just because you don't have a puzzle piece,
does not mean you aren't listed as a generous donor in our adoption book. :)
Thank you in advance for being the church! For doing your part!
26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians 12:26-27
HOW IT WORKS:
1. Decide how many pieces you want to buy. 1 Puzzle Piece=$5
2. If you have a Paypal account, you can transfer money between Family & Friends at NO cost. Just login to your paypal account hit the "send money" tab and send To: tee.time4me@yahoo.com, plus leave a comment below, saying you did so OR you can "Donate" using the button on the sidebar--but small fees are associated with each donation, so we won't get the full $5....In that case please give at least $7 for each piece.
3. You can also mail a check to our home address, if you'd rather not go the PayPal route.
Strickland Family: 210 Wenona Dr., Washington, MO 63090. Again, please leave a comment if you plan on doing this.
4. Then we will update periodically, piece by piece, and watch the puzzle come together.
So comment below and let us know if YOU are a piece of our family puzzle!
(interested to see who races to be the first 300 and how fast we can sell out this puzzle)
16 comments:
Saturday, August 10, 2013
A piece of my heart is so far away.....
Where do we even begin? I will update with some daily Ethiopia journaling soon (maybe in a week or so once school starts). We have one full week before school, which includes school shopping (since we have been preoccupied), a little boy turning 8 years old---(I guess that is not so little) :(, and another little boy starting Kindergarten. agh!!! (Let the water works begin!) Today has been such a blessed day (albeit a little tiring) to be reunited with our 3 big kids and love on them. 9 days is a long time to be away. Tobe said, "I was starting to forget this place." (our house!)
Meanwhile, a piece of our heart is in Ethiopia. This part of the wait is supposedly the hardest. I don't know that yet, I am sure it will be. I am still suffering from jetlag (i.e. it is 5:30 am and I'm up--which NEVER happens). But I do know that she is so loved where she is at and is being taken care of until we return and that makes it easier. Also, knowing I have LOTS to do in the next 5-8 weeks like all things mentioned in paragraph 1, as well as bedroom remodel of the "sisters" room, and sadly me being one more year closer to 40! I am to the point that I am forgetting what age I am. LOL!
Some people are still confused. Chloe is not home. This process is long and hard. Every country, every program a bit different with lots of processes and bureacacy. And it is ever changing. It has changed multiple times while we've been in the process, and is about to change again (thanking God we beat that deadline). Chloe is a Strickland according to Ethiopia. But now we must wait for the US Embassy to say "come back-- she is cleared to immigrate into the USA". So we wait.....this can be anywhere from 5-10 weeks. Hopefully shorter.
So pray as we wait (our final wait!!!) to go back.......and I promise to post some of our Ethiopian adventures soon-----as most of you know....we have "some".
Meanwhile, a piece of our heart is in Ethiopia. This part of the wait is supposedly the hardest. I don't know that yet, I am sure it will be. I am still suffering from jetlag (i.e. it is 5:30 am and I'm up--which NEVER happens). But I do know that she is so loved where she is at and is being taken care of until we return and that makes it easier. Also, knowing I have LOTS to do in the next 5-8 weeks like all things mentioned in paragraph 1, as well as bedroom remodel of the "sisters" room, and sadly me being one more year closer to 40! I am to the point that I am forgetting what age I am. LOL!
Some people are still confused. Chloe is not home. This process is long and hard. Every country, every program a bit different with lots of processes and bureacacy. And it is ever changing. It has changed multiple times while we've been in the process, and is about to change again (thanking God we beat that deadline). Chloe is a Strickland according to Ethiopia. But now we must wait for the US Embassy to say "come back-- she is cleared to immigrate into the USA". So we wait.....this can be anywhere from 5-10 weeks. Hopefully shorter.
So pray as we wait (our final wait!!!) to go back.......and I promise to post some of our Ethiopian adventures soon-----as most of you know....we have "some".
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Why Am I Surprised? {and kind of a HUGE clarification}
{Acts 12:12-16}
Interesting story from Acts. Here the church is praying, God answers quickly and miraculously, and the people are like "Say What?"....sound like anyone? ME! I cannot believe that we have a court date exactly one month after our referral date. I prayed for it, I asked you to pray for it, I knew God could do it,and I said He could do it out loud. But, even still when things were moving along, I was a bit taken back. We had heard rumor that courts were closing Aug 6th (not even sure if this is true or not)---so my thought was that God would just prolong the court closing for a week or two so that we could still sneak in. {Insert here: His ways are not my ways!(Isaiah 55:8)} Instead, Chris & I witness the fastest to date (at least in the 2.5 years I've been on our agency's email list) referral to court!!!
THANK YOU FRIENDS FOR PRAYING!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING THE CHURCH!!!
Now what?? We head to Ethiopia to meet Chloe in person this week. We will get to meet her, the wonderful nannies that have been caring for her, we will experience and enjoy where she has lived the first 15 months of her life, see where she stayed, and soak up Ethiopian culture. We get to worship God on Sunday in Ethiopia. Then we will stand in front of a judge and say "YES!" to Chloe. Hopefully at this point, the judge will declare her our daughter and then we will be able to introduce publicly the newest Strickland.
But here's the bad news--I know many of you know this, but to clarify for those that don't-- We do NOT get to bring Chloe home yet, the hardest part of the wait (as if I thought 24 months was hard) will be when we leave Ethiopia without her. We will come home, she will continue to be loved on by her nannies and we will pray again for the quick turnaround for Visa processing and our US Embassy saying we can come back and bring her home.
PRAYER NEEDS:
1) Please pray for our safety, health, and smooth traveling. It has been such a whirlwind, a bit crazy, pray I pack everything we need and that our stomachs stay well. :)
2) Please pray for our big kids here with family friends. Being away from Eden, Eli, & Tobe while on a completely different continent and 8 hours ahead will be a bit different. Just pray they also stay healthy and that the families they are with are blessed for their sacrifice to our family. {We LOVE you!}
3) Pray for Chloe. Pray for her health and continued safety. Pray for the House of Hope, the transition home she is in now. Pray for all the transition that she is going through and has gone through. Our daughter has been through so much in her short life and that cannot be forgotten. Adoption is beautiful and redeeming, yet it is born out of tragedy, loss, and grief. We are not sharing all of Chloe's story to every person. But if you read this blog here you will read similarities and some of the possible struggles that Chloe has gone through and will go through. (I will post more on this before bringing Chloe home---but for now this is a good starting point---and for all I know may not be us at all, but the orphanage visitors is a fact and a definite issue we will deal with).
4) Pray that in all things God gets the glory. He has answered prayers in mighty ways and is continuing to work all things out. He cares for the orphan, He cares for the lonely, He cares for families, and He cares for YOU! Praise God for the things He has done.
4) Pray that in all things God gets the glory. He has answered prayers in mighty ways and is continuing to work all things out. He cares for the orphan, He cares for the lonely, He cares for families, and He cares for YOU! Praise God for the things He has done.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
{Ephesians 3:20-21}
Dear Chloe, We're coming baby girl! Can't wait to meet you, hold you, play with you, and say "YES" for you! Oh boy and your sister and brothers are so excited too. See you on Friday! Love, Mama & Dada
Sunday, July 7, 2013
At Last!
This song was what Chris and I walked down the aisle to once we were pronounced husband and wife. It fit, plus it was a super classy song and Chris wouldn't go for anything that wasn't classy. :)
As I listen to the words, it seems to fit in our current situation just perfectly. It is a love song that fits here in the adoption world as well. It might be even more perfect when she is home at last, but none the less.
At last, our call came on Friday, July 5, 2013. The last day it could have come on so as to not cross the 2 year wait mark, since July 7th, which is a Sunday this year is our Waitaversary. This is how it went down----
Every year over the 4th of July we camp with our dearest friends, the Gerdel's and Missy's mom and family. Most of the time it is miserably hot and yet we make it fun, plus we usually include a float trip on the Meremac River. We've camped at least 6 years---floated at least 3. A few months ago, Chris and I decided financially we just didn't want to float this year. So we actually said it out loud so that we would stick to that decision. However, the Gerdel kiddos were upset that our kids wouldn't be floating with them, so we let our two big kids go along and promised Tobe a day of hiking and one on one swim time. He was a bit sad, but then was excited. Of course on the 4th our agency was closed, so we had a peaceful, wonderful time watching fireworks and swimming, and yet in all of our minds was the possibility of a referral the next day (and thinking THAT's why we didn't float!) So we sent off our floating friends and after a bit headed off to go on our hike---
However, we no sooner got out of the camp grounds and into a place where phone reception actually came in and we got the call!!!! It was so great that the call came through, because service was sketchy. I heard our agency give a few details, then the call was dropped, we try again, and the call was dropped, finally it rang once more and I just said loudly "We are coming in!!!!" See we live near CHI's headquarters and the entire time since we are at STL family we thought we would be driving in to see our referral packet. We were about another hour out, but we just knew we needed to drive in and get this packet today!!!! I tried to text Missy before she got on the raft, but missed her.
So....we drive in---see the most beautiful pictures of our beautiful girl and are just thrilled!!! We spent the afternoon oohing and awing over her and let some family and friends in on our news, but waited to show her pic to her big brother and sister first. Once we showed Eden & Eli (of course Tobe got to be the first), we got to share with the Gerdel's (who if you recall Missy was the one who jumpstarted all of our fundraising efforts by giving up her bday gifts and running 30 miles for her 30th bday for Chloe)......so just because God likes to put the icing on the cake---guess who share the same bday????? YEP. One year after Missy's run, our little Chloe was born. Another friend pointed out, our Chloe has been along with us in this wait the entire time!!!! Chloe is 15 months old right now, if you add the 9 months during birth mom's pregnancy---you get our 24 month wait! Chloe began life as we began our wait!!!!! Just amazing. All my adoptive mom friends continued to tell me, His perfect timing (which I believed), but man I couldn't even imagine some of the "coincidences" that God has orchestrated so that I know He had this in His hands the entire time.
So to finish off our Friday night we got to make our fun announcement video. :) We didn't get to post till the next day because of the sketchy service. But we were so excited to share with our church family today what God has done and praise His name. Like I've said many times before, the church (and not just our home church) but THE church has helped bring Chloe home via prayers and funds. This has been a joint effort.
<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10201372703498032" width="226" height="400" frameborder="0"></iframe>
WHAT'S NEXT???
Court. Adopting from Ethiopia is a two trip process. First trip is court and second is embassy process. So.....CHURCH here is the prayer need. I've mentioned before Ethiopia has a rainy season, where courts just close down. This usually happens mid August. Now realistically we probably won't make it to court before then, which means we wouldn't make our first trip till mid October. BUT, our God works miraculously and ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE with Him. There have been some that have moved through this quickly and there are plenty that don't. Would you please pray consistently that we could make it to court BEFORE it closes?
***Sidenote: There are rules and regulations that prohibit us from sharing any identifiable info on Chloe until she is officially ours when we pass court. So no pictures online and her Ethiopian name will not be posted online. We will use her Ethiopian name as part of her name.....
We can't even begin to thank you all for the prayers and well wishes and prayers and so forth for our family and our daughter. We will keep you updated! Thanks for listening.
Then & NOW..........
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| THEN-----July 7, 2011. We started on the wait list. I blogged about it HERE and actually said it could be "two weeks or two years"......I said that????? NOW----July 7, 2013. My kids around our referral packet, CELEBRATING finally having a face to the sister they have been praying for!  |
Friday, May 31, 2013
Keepin' It Real....
May has been a long month. I guess I did skip right over our 22 months and we are a week out from 23 months. Today was the first referral in over a month and it was also the first referral for a family that was behind us on the list. (It was a boy referral and the family had waited 22 months.) I sure am hoping that there aren't too many referrals behind us....cause that is kind of a poopy feeling. (Hence the title "Keepin' It Real"). So we remain at #10.
Here is some good news: the process after referral seems to be moving along quicker. Of course this can be one of the major variables. The normal process is birth parent interview, then usually court date would be scheduled 4 weeks after (if everything was in place and the birth parent interview went well).......but I know of 3 families who had a birth parent interview and then were needing to be in Ethiopia within 5-10 days!!!! {That is NOT much notice, people!} But that is also so exciting because if we "hypothetically" get a referral at the beginning of June and have our birth parent interview 4-5 weeks later, that means if things move as quickly as they have been we could be in Africa at the end of July!! THIS IS OUR PRAYER! Please continue to pray on Chloe's behalf.
We have A LOT going on with our family. Baseball, baseball rain outs, rescheduled baseball and throw in some dance recitals, bible bowl trips, church camp, prepping for VBS (oh yeah, I am interim elementary children't minister for the summer!), swim lessons coming up, etc. So the business of summer will surely be a good distraction and keep me focused instead of a blubbering mess for whatever stage I'm in. I now have a 5th grader, 2nd grader, and a Kindergartner. Say WHAT???!!!
We had a wonderful 3rd Annual Love 2 Run 4 Love on Mother's Day weekend. Due to some amazing sponsors (especially jacobyco---who donated the tshirts), we made about $4200. Three different families will benefit from this and 5 different orphans (The Kramel's, The Douglas', and us). My friend, Dianna Kramel celebrated her first official Mother's Day (although in her heart she's been a mama for a long time). God provided a gorgeous day with wonderful weather and amazing friends and supporters. So grateful to each and everyone of you!
Here is some good news: the process after referral seems to be moving along quicker. Of course this can be one of the major variables. The normal process is birth parent interview, then usually court date would be scheduled 4 weeks after (if everything was in place and the birth parent interview went well).......but I know of 3 families who had a birth parent interview and then were needing to be in Ethiopia within 5-10 days!!!! {That is NOT much notice, people!} But that is also so exciting because if we "hypothetically" get a referral at the beginning of June and have our birth parent interview 4-5 weeks later, that means if things move as quickly as they have been we could be in Africa at the end of July!! THIS IS OUR PRAYER! Please continue to pray on Chloe's behalf.
We have A LOT going on with our family. Baseball, baseball rain outs, rescheduled baseball and throw in some dance recitals, bible bowl trips, church camp, prepping for VBS (oh yeah, I am interim elementary children't minister for the summer!), swim lessons coming up, etc. So the business of summer will surely be a good distraction and keep me focused instead of a blubbering mess for whatever stage I'm in. I now have a 5th grader, 2nd grader, and a Kindergartner. Say WHAT???!!!
We had a wonderful 3rd Annual Love 2 Run 4 Love on Mother's Day weekend. Due to some amazing sponsors (especially jacobyco---who donated the tshirts), we made about $4200. Three different families will benefit from this and 5 different orphans (The Kramel's, The Douglas', and us). My friend, Dianna Kramel celebrated her first official Mother's Day (although in her heart she's been a mama for a long time). God provided a gorgeous day with wonderful weather and amazing friends and supporters. So grateful to each and everyone of you!
I have been reminded in May to take nothing for granted, to hug your loved ones often, to say "I love you!" when telling your kiddos good bye, and that we must continue to pray. I've attended 3 funerals in May (well one is this weekend--but he went to Jesus in May). One was after a long battle of illness, one was a shock even in the midst of a continued storm (thinking things were turning around for the better) and one was so tragic there was no way you could even imagine it coming, ranging from a 77 year old to a 2 year old. {Sidenote: I was blessed to see the 2 year old's celebration of life memorial service via a live stream---which was just so moving. Blessed by this family's testimony and faithfulness in the midst of brokenness and I haven't even met them in 'real' life. If possible, please watch this small segment where the pastor shares some thoughts on adoption, both literally and our adoption into Christ's family. It is worth the watch!} The entire service is long as you might expect so you can just skip to 1:19:20 or so and find it. His entire message starts around 1:10:10. Click HERE to watch. |
| Ethiopian princess. |
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| My jr high and high school BFF, Christy got to meet up at Nick's wedding. :) |
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| My best friend and I on a much needed R&R in downtown New Haven, MO on the river. I highly recommend it! Thanks Missy for loving on our kiddos! |
But I have also had a few praises this month after praying for years for some of them. We were able to witness 2 weddings (one renewal). Chris got to be a groomsmen for a dear, dear friend who now works with some of our closest, bestest friends (a bit jealous, but trying to get over it and yes I know 'bestest' is not a word). The three funerals were all people who loved Christ and are with the angels in heaven. One family is on their way to Ghana right now to meet their 3 children and stand in court to say "yes" to being their forever family after 1 1/2 years of waiting. Already mentioned my friend Dianna, who the day after Mother's Day learned about the day she would meet her son and has already been to Ethiopia and back, passed court and is waiting to go back to get her sweet son {seriously, people the lashes on this boy are breathtaking!}, one of my best friends that I have been praying for the last 5-6 years recieved a good prognosis on her reoccuring brain tumor. It is so good for the heart when you see prayers answered, even after such long waits. It reminds me of 1 Peter 4: 12-13 from the Message: "Friends, when life gets really difficult don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job---instead be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process with glory just around the corner." It is good to see God's answers. It is good to see growth during the refining process (even though we don't like it) and I KNOW that God is on the job. He always has been. I'm just waiting to turn the corner!
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The Gregors
Ten puzzle pieces please....
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Karl, Casey and Dante
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chuck & kim