After some thought, I've realized the root of my problems. A year ago when Tedi found her old friend Timmy on the internet and all she could do was talk about how they're on the phone 24/7 chatting I felt as though I was no longer her best friend and while I was happy for her I was sad for me. I bought the Splash Mountain picture, as a symbolic gesture of it being mine and Tedi's last night as really good friends. But then that passed. But now Tedi has adopted Heidi and Marisa (with Julie) as her new "twins" and they go out do things like buy matching shirts. I feel like I was left behind. Tedi says that I'm her best friend (male) at work and I still feel left out. I thought I was upset over the fact that she was going to be with Nathan, and that was part of it, but now I realize that I'm sad because I feel like I no longer have Tedi as a really good friend. And she's moved onto being best friends with Marisa and Heidi, two people I wish I were best friends with. I'm jealous of their closeness and while they invite me to tag along, I never feel like I'm truly included. Perhaps its because I'm a guy and I just don't quite belong. Which brings up all sorts of other issues for me, like my inability to form real friendships with males and general inability to have relationships with people. All of this leaves me not just depressed about my general lack of real friends, which quickly slip slides into my feelings of general failure in life.