it's been quite a while since i've blogged.
Today, seeing my brother leave for France, I really felt the feeling when i'm climbing Kuta Tinggi came rushing back to me.
My brother had embarked onto his own journey and no matter who is beside him, they will all feel differently, view things differently and experience different things. I realise that life, is really craved out by it's creator. It's in our hand. I don't know if you get what I mean, but I felt that it's really own personal experience that makes a diference.
After going up to Kuta Tinggi, I felt less stressful. It also reinforced my opinion that we should always pace ourselves and not rushed things and definitely, the climb make life more meaningful to me. I felt that I can walk this world alone. Even though i'm with the people I love around me, there are things that I myself have to do and things I have to complete by myself. It seems to be a long and winding road ahead with lots of ups and downs, but now, I believe I can do it, be it alone or in team. No matter what, life goes on, so do you. At every up, every down, every obstacles you've faced, you, yourself, have to figure a way out of it. Independence is what it's spelt.
Despite learning to be independent, climbing the mountain make me realised the importance of Team Work, the importance to reach out to people when they are in bad position and to whom you share your joy with. Being with the people I love and trust makes the whole trip seems more colorful, more fun-filled and importantly, makes you know that who you can turn to when in need of help.
Despite in a team, you're alone, but not truly alone.
As everyone probably realise, the way up to the mountain and the way down, although it might be the same route, but it seems like a new one to us. I guess, in the future, when we turn around and see, all these hardship seems like a tiny speck of sand rather den a huge road block to us. Also, it might also means that in the future, when we met with such cases, we know how to handle it. I guess, this mean. Experience.
Some times, the process is tough, but when you look back, it's easy, it's sweet. WHY? Because of Attitude! the never give up attitude, the take it slow and steady attitude, the team work, the independence that adds up to all the fun-filled times, the time where we curse and swear when we try to overcome a huge challenge and the time we come together to complete things and to take care of one another.
Therefore, always remember and reflect on these points. What SS said is right, to know yourself, your strength and weakness, it opens up your mind. You'll know what reaction you should engage when face with this kind of situation. Tough and it requires time and self decipline. Maybe all I've type to you is nonsense. But these are some thoughts that I believe in.
When I first receive the news that you're leaving for US. 3 years, of course, I've cried. For days and even now and then, when I thinks about you leaving. I always hate farewells. Even from young, I dislike my parents waving me off at the gate when I go off for tuition. Always makes me choke with tears. But I guess this oversea trip is what I called a "Break or Bond" deal.
I have faith in us. I believe I can, you can, we can.
It's a risk, you said. Definitely. Even from friends and colleagues whose advices might be negative, I seriously have not thought of those and will definitely keep them in my mind and not to make.
As I've siad, the process is painful, but the end will be sweet.
That's my believe in our relationship.
I've heard countless times from people that we're still in our "honeymoon" period. But what constitute a "honeymoon" period? All I hope for is one simple wish to stay happy. Maybe I'll get tired when I see you everyday. Maybe after years things will get bland. But why think so far when all I want to is to focus on the present.
To me, happiness is something so fragile that it'll just shatters when handle without a care.
Some times, I will question myself, when is this bubble of happiness going to burst? I don't believe that happiness is without any effort. Yes, there will be time that I might feel that I'm putting in way too much effort in maintaining this relationship. I don't disagree. There are times when I feel max out. I understand the circumstances, the reasons. So when the time comes, I just hope that you will continue to take the initiative to reach out and to be more understanding. I know you've always been patient and understanding to me. Just maybe need to tolerate a bit more when i'm grumpy? ;P
As per SS, "do not request your partner to put in the same percentage of commitment as you." (SS is realli a intellectual individual.)
Relationship needs maintainance, just like airplane and aircons. But what type of maintainance it need, it depends on the couple. To me, you know when I am max out, you can roughly guage it. Don't interrupt my sleep, my meals and don't make me stay on feet for too long.
3 years. Is long. I know. But I just want to take one step at a time and enjoy the process. There are things that are very flexible and cannot be planned, there are things that can be plan ahead but to be confirm about the timing and there are things that are fixed. Don't feel so stress about it. We'll take things one step at a time.
No doubt I'll cry everytime from now till you leave that you're leaving for US. No doubt that I'll cry everytime I miss you when your oversea. But look into the future. I see us there. So what's 3 years compared to forever? Yes it's a painful process, but we have faith, don't we? =)
-yuyun-
