Sunday, March 30, 2008

eh post

Oh teaching on fri was awesome! =) I taught 4i! =) they are so awesome! The kids were very well behaved and extremely receptive. And despite the fact that they were a sports class, they weren’t as monkey like as the other sports classes are. And there’s superstar in that class! Unlike the other superstar in another class, he was a joy to teach, respectful and helpful. Oh intelligent too. He’s work was great! And he wants me to teach him again! =) hahahha too bad mel!

I want to teach them again. I only had an hour and a half with them which is sooo little. I had like 4 hours with other classes. So I hope whoever teaches them will go for a short holiday and call me! Hahaha. But other classes are fine too, except 4e! hahahaha. So pei chun, continue to call me. =)

Been meeting my friends quite often. mel, lyn cong today and cheryl yesterday. That’s cool. I love hanging out and just not freaking out over stuff. Kinda tired of having people always going on and on about not getting their things done. Oh wells.

Anyway go support my friend! At tiffanywall.livejournal.com!

10:50 pm

Thursday, March 27, 2008

i need a jobbbbbbbbb

hey, i've been jobless for days. and i hate it. even though i spent the time doing my uni applications and going back to sa, i still want to work. i miss the kids, i miss looking forward to pay day and i miss learning something new. so lay peng, call me. =) like tomorrow! no wait it's past 12, so call me today! in a couple of hours! =) i can do my other stuff in the morning or afternoon, just give me a job! hahaha. =)

yea, like i said earlier, i was back in school for two days in a row. and i have soooo much fun. =) i had lunch with mel and the boys which was awesome. i haven't seen the boys in a month, or is it more then a month? whatever it is, i miss hanging out with them. we used to see each other everyday last year in school. They will come and check on us and see how far we have progressed with our work. being able to have lunch with them was really awesome. we laughed soooooooo much. =) and kenneth, treat karen better lah. she's damn nice ok. and she can give you an a not like randy. hahah.

oh man, i miss spending time with my friends. no need to rush for classes or appointments with teachers or rushing for work. i hope to see them soon! =) and lay peng, call me. =)

12:41 am

Friday, March 21, 2008

just a note...

I think my previous post will is far too dense for my students, so kids, don’t read it. =)
Anyway just so you know, my blog is my outlet and my way out. So don’t expect every post to be happy and cheery and all. Hope you guys (my students) understand. And if you guys want to know why I don’t talk as much as I do in school, the reason is my previous post. But I highly suggest that you guys don’t read it, cause it’s really heavy stuff.

And to tessa, 5c is the best. Don’t worry. 6b is the best p6 class. =) cause my best friend’s brother is there and his friends are the funniest. Haha. study hard kids! =)

11:32 pm

silence

I find myself increasingly embracing silence. Whenever I turn on my computer, I can’t be bothered to switch on my music player or head to youtube to listen to some songs which I don’t have on my com. But now, whenever just leaves the player on after he’s done with the com, I switch it off.

And this is odd. Very odd. Music is my life, or it seems like it was my life. I used to sit in the staff room and plug into my player and listen to the music all day, but now I don’t. I do my work without music, I ride the bus or the train home without music. And somehow or rather, I feel odd yet strangely comfortable.

I guess things are starting to a take on toll on me. And it kinda sucks. It has started to dawn on me that I’m losing faith. Not entirely spiritually, but I guess with thing around me. Actually no, I don’t think I’m losing faith spiritually, cause I believe that the Goddess of Mercy is fair. And even though things didn’t always go the way I wanted it to, they happen for a reason. And she allowed the reason to dawn me on sometime later.

But I guess I’m just tired for always needing someone else to help me through some stuff that I don’t want to, like my uni applications. Somehow I always wished there was a time that when I applied for a school, I didn’t need to beg for help and that I could just do everything on my own, without needing my parents to worry. It sucks like hell that my parents are trying to figure a back up plan for me and that they have to worry whether a local u, and I mean either nus, ntu or smu will be willing to accept me as a student. why can’t there be a time when my parents could sit back and relax, just like the way they did with just, every single time. And the worst part of it all, all these won’t have happened if my grades were better.

Not that I didn’t try, I did. Ok maybe during psle I didn’t, but come on. I was 12 and when you see everything happening so easily with your elder brother you would naturally think that things would be easy for you as well. But yea I was wrong. And it hurts when I found out that my dad blamed himself when I entered some lousy secondary school. And after begging people and worrying like hell, I got a seat in smss. =) which I’m totally grateful of, simply because it was an amazing journey.

And while, as most of you already know, I’m a dsa student to sajc. But no, I’m not ashamed of it. Cause by being a dsa student, I got to learn what the world really is like, and got to meet the most amazing people in the world; the people who I still hold dear today. But what I hated was that during application, I had to again ask for help, ask for testimonials and stuff simply because my grades were atrocious. But it all turned out well and my actually o’s grades proved that dsa wasn’t necessary.

But come to A’s. How I wanted for that just once, when my parents could sit back, relax and just worry over the course that I would be given and not whether I’ll be simply given a place. I really worked so that my parents would have one less thing to worry about. I wanted to it be like just, when they just worried whether he’ll be accept to law and not worry about a back up plan that does not involve Singapore. Oh wells. even though I hate begging for help, I have to do it (again). And somehow or rather, I’m worried. Not scratch that, extremely worried. Cause I don’t think I will get help this time, even after begging. Oh wells. I’m the only one to be blamed for trying to be super woman in school and do so many things at once, simply because I have a passion for it. I’m the only one to be blamed for doing badly for my A’s. I’m the only one to be blamed for making my parents worry.

Pardon my emo-ness. But I guess even though I say that I’m over my grades, I don’t think I’m quite yet. Trust me, I am really thankful that I passed. I mean for the very first time my chem wasn’t an e or an u and my gp and maths grade are simply fab. But I’m freaking disappointed over geog and econs. It’s something just way too hard to swallow. Oh wells. Everything happens for a reason, and I must be thankful for what I got. Well, it could have been worse. If my gp grade was disastrous, I can kiss local u goodbye. But thankfully, it isn’t. =) and thankfully I had so many people helping me, encouraging me and wiping my tears away. Especially my mom, cheryl, my closest friends in school, you know who you are. =) They instantly knew something was amiss and was there for me entirely. So thank you. And I’m sorry for being a bitch.

All I can do know is hope and pray. And work my butt off to fight my way in. Goddess of mercy is fair and she will explain to me why all this happened, one day. =)

Ps: I pray that daddy won’t be so temperamental, you and I know why, so please, help make things stable. =)

11:12 pm

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

the past week

Hey, it’s been a while. And well, I’ve been better.

But I don’t really want to talk about it so yea. Just hope and pray for the best. (:

Been watching tons of movies with mel and cong lately. And always at cine! Haha. So being at amk hub today was a good change. And it’s nearer to home! =) oh and Horton’s really good. It’s simple adorable and it really teaches you that a person must be treated with respect, no matter how big or small. =)

Tutored cin, no basically told her to learn everything for econs. Haha but that silly girl kept playing with chuan kai’s and my chair instead of working. No more yea? Study hard, then we can mah jong like mad later! =) had dinner with cin, lyn and just, followed by deserts with them plus Samuel, daniel and cong. =) talked a lot and basically had fun. =)

My house became a sleep over den for my friends on sat! =) no more like soccer watching den. Haha the boys were going crazy watching back to back matches while playing mah jong with us. Haha. it was fun, great fun. =)

Ah, can’t really blog, just too many things on my mind.

10:31 pm

Thursday, March 06, 2008

ahhhhhhh

RESULTS ARE OUT TOMORROW! LIKE OMG! =/

I need a new blog skin as soon as I figure out how to get it done.

Next week is march hols, means I’ll be jobless for a week! So no money! =(

I’m feeling nervous and weird. Ahhhhhhhhh!

RESULTS ARE OUT TOMORROW! So please oh please someone save me!