I met my younger self for coffee.
She was early.
I was on time.
She was in a racerback, in slippers, and sporting a tan.
I was in a tshirt, in flats, and with highlights in my hair.
She had a ghost of a smile on her face, and a cup of latte on the table.
I smiled back tentatively, and ordered myself a cup of hot green tea.
She looked at me and asked ‘did I stop drinking coffee?’
‘Yes you did,’ I replied knowingly.
‘Oh!’ She paused. ‘Did I continue diving, and my solo trips?’
‘Definitely, and you would have visited more continents and countries than you’ll ever imagined..’
‘Really? Where did I go?’ She asked, incredulous, thinking of what little cash she had in her bank account.
‘You went to Russia, Amsterdam, Paris, Belgium, Australia, Timor Leste, China, Africa, America, India…..’ I trailed off.
Her eyes widened with each place I named.
‘Wow,’ she lets out a bated breath, ‘did I travel all those on my own?’
‘Nah, you had company for some, the rest you went on your own.’
‘India……?’ She asked, holding onto her cup of latte.
I laughed. ‘You went on your own, twice, coz no one else wanted to explore that country. You fell in love with the country, the people, the food.’
She looked amazed.
I took a sip of my tea.
‘Did I move on from…….’ She asked nervously, looking at me.
‘You did, but it still haunts you, and you’re now finding ways to heal.’ I replied softly. ‘You’ll also lose someone you hold dearly, someone you would travel for.’
Her eyes welled up.
I reached out for her hand.
‘You’ll be alright. It isn’t as scary as it sounds. While you’ll have your fair share of ups and downs, wins and losses, you’ll have a strong support system, people who stayed through, people who are present.’
‘I will..?’ She asked, tears rolling down her cheeks silently.
‘Yes you will. You love, and you will be loved.’
We stood up.
She reached for a hug.
I hugged her, and whispered ‘I’ve really gotta go, but thank you for showing up.’
She let me go, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
‘I love you,’ I said to her as we part, words I’ve never said before.
She nodded.
We won’t meet for another 10 years, but I know we will.
