Randomly. 

I took 7 years to get over *her. 

7 years to get over *w.

没有安全感的我. =/

Laksa. Korean BBQ at Manbok. Good Japanese food. Sashimi. Steak. Pizza. Drinks. 

I want my good food. =(

Officially last day of work for him. Cleared the medical checkup for me! Counting down to clearing my ACTA CU4A assessment later.. And then 2 more FA 1 more CU and I clear my ACTA 4! 4 days of Bali recee to go.. One more CYT TTT.. Last RLP.. 1 week to clear my balance work.. And it's 2 weeks of diving back to back with him! =D 

Our #weekdate #moviedate . =) And he really did pay for dinner.. So I paid for the movie. And he sent me back even though I said I can take bus. =) 

And there's that other side of him that I see for the first time ever. And I'm glad I did. No. It didn't turned me off. It just made me happy that at least he's finally sharing something more personal. I just wish I could have been able to advise him better. </3

Exactly 1 year ago I got my Nitrox certification and was diving with the guys in Batangas. 

Exactly 30 days later I'll be diving again. This time in Tulamben with *bl. 

 

Exactly 5 years ago I was in the midst of my last relationship and *x commented on my post. 

So there was the suicide bombers at Paris which killed 129 people so far. And then the very next day it's all over fb and people were changing their profile pictures to the filters of the French's national flag. Posts were uploaded sharing (and some condemning) about Muslims and ISIS. Landmarks around the world were seen to change their lights to the flag of France as well to show their respect. 

I just find it so hypocritical. 

For the civilians and innocent who died in Afghanistan. In Beirut. In Iraq. In Palestine. In Syria. There was no coverage in the news. Does that mean they're only worthy to be dead? Or just coz they're Muslims? 

And France is in the news just coz they're Whites? More superior? Or coz they used to be a power nation? 

It's not a fight against religion. It's a fight against humanity. 

Think back of the years where many died fighting for their land. Their beliefs. And there was no involvement of religion and faith. 

Agent Orange. The 'peacekeeping' troops in Iraq. Fights in Afghanistan. Russian empire. Mongolia and China. Monks who set themselves on fire. The house arrest of Aung Suun Su Kyi. Genocide in Cambodia. Holocaust. And more recently the refugees.

Countries that are torn apart from within. Countries invaded and then torn apart by the invaders. 

For all those who died or are deformed. Who cared for those people? Where's the 'publicity' for those events? 

No one bothered. There were only selected write ups and reports available. In this so-called 'freedom of speech' world. Where IS all the freedom? Where is the awareness of such events and the need to show our mark of respect maybe say on each of the anniversary? 

Religion my ass. Tell me more about humanity! 

Sinusitis is a silent killer. Not only do I feel the pain in the cavities around my right eye. The antibiotic forbids me to drink milk or take fish. The phlegm is killing me slowly with each cough I take. I also just puked out my dinner. And I'm all alone in this fight. ="(

Yest was a super cocked up day. 

Today's slightly better. 

So. I'm not going Melbourne le. Gonna go dive at the mecca of all dive sites! Something that'll definitely make me happy. =) 

And I think he's really different. More open.. Speech and behavior also. And so we're meeting next Thursday and he tell me he's treating. O.O 

Hates going to see doc alone. Gonna do that tmr though if I'm to get well before the medical and the holiday next month. 

就真的好累好累 

别再让我做选择了

因为后果不会是你们想要的

但我不甘心就这样对不起自己

让自己难过

后悔一生

I guess my mind is made up already. 

就让我做回我自己

过我一直都在过的生活

The more we start discussing.. The more reluctant I am to go Melbourne with the birdies. Simple reason. The things we want to see are so different. Then what's the point of flying over together but doing different things? I'd rather not compromise and do something I'll enjoy more. Even if it means it's gonna be on my own. 

Sighz.

We'll see how the discussion this Sat turns out. Most likely I'll not go le. Coz I don't see the point. And the more we discuss the more 反感 I get. 

And this is exactly the reason why I don't have much travel kakis. Coz I'm a picker and I only enjoy traveling with people who fits my style. I don't like to tweak to fit others. I am selfish that way. 

But what the birdie said is true. I've too much make friends around me that may make him uncomfortable. But too bad. I'm 豪爽 in that way. They're all my buddies. 

Coz he wants to go Malacca with me one weekend. And we're planning to hit Hanoi too. But not sure if he's my travel kaki kind. We'll see after this year end's 2 weeks' trip. 

36 more days to Komodo and Tulamben!

When you're still feeling sick and tired and you just wish for that someone to be there. </3

<3 Our first selfie.. And using a GoPro no less! =D 

There's a difference today.. Not sure is it after that conversation that day.. Or...? 

These people (and Orange) are the reason why I enjoyed my Malacca trip this time round. It's not coz of the people I came up with. Sadly.

And my travel style is so much clearer le.. I really enjoy my own kind of cafes. Walking around. No shopping. No need to use fan la.. Umbrella la. Like a local. So yeah. This trip is considered too attas for me. I still love my Airbnb.. <3

'为了这一次的旅行. 感激有你们的帮助! 

Orange.. 谢谢你的咖啡和 awesome 的cheesecakes.. 忘了和你selfie.. 但希望会得空去JB找你! 

Gus.. Thank you so much for the recommendations and I'm glad wherever you brought us to on the last 3 trips I was here stayed in my head! Even though I wasn't a guest this time round.. Thank you for welcoming me as a friend and for the rice wine! I'll definitely let you know again about the Bali stuff!

Donny.. 谢谢你的'优待'! 还有宵夜.. 还得送我回来.. 我会记得你的那一句'改次不要生病来哦..' 因为不醉不归啊! 等你来新加坡咯! 要回来找Gus的时候一定也算你一份!' 

Really love these people.. <3

Just posted this and he almost immediately text me. 

Seriously hate being sick coz it makes me feel so emo-y and craving for love and attention. And I know I was kinda throwing tantrum today. Coz of the skating thing. And that I'm sick. And then of the fact I think he forgot I'm leaving for Malacca tmr. I told him he's a 没心的家伙. Hrmphz. 

I think he wanted to say more things but got scared and not sure how to say it. So he just left it as it is. Idiot. Blearghz. 

But at least he knows the 'you' in the quote was referring to him. 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/kencana-putri/2014/07/when-the-one-you-let-go-was-the-one/

The one that did all those and popped into my head was not the one I loved the most. </3 

'We are all damaged goods. But that doesn't mean you'll never be able to find someone who'll embrace and love you for who you are despite your flaws and past. And who's willing to wait for you. Indefinitely.' - Yix