从开始到现在. 这是第一次. How do I feel? I'm living my life as before when I'm single. 

How do I feel? A little disoriented. But I guess I was already expecting it.

Our slightly more than usual random conversation today. =) 

So Bali's on.. And he's gonna see how he can coordinate with his friends too. But also maybe not.. Coz if we're heading to Coron after. Then we'll be leaving when his friends go. And Kat's staying at the place he has in mind. Hahaha. Which is what I saw and interest me also. Oops! 

I'm still learning to breathe. 

Today has been hell. One day AFM down. One more to go! 

Hahaha. Yest I sent him this. Then he asked if I've booked the tix already. 

Seriously. Sometimes I think I really don't know how to slow down and take a step back. Like what mum said.. I'm still a child at heart <3 while he's so calm. Take for example The Night Festival. Maybe there's a reason why I met him after all. =P 

Let's see if he's able to 'tame' me. =D 

七夕情人节快乐! 

He text me first today. Hahaha. I took super long to reply coz I was in class. 

And so we may be going to Bali before Coron. Then over dinner I heard about the Bali breakup myth. So I got a little worried. But he's not superstitious and there are instances where the myth doesn't seem to be true. Then I won't say and just keep quiet and not let it affect me ba. =) 

And coz we'll have to travel out of Ubud. Then bike is the only option. He says he can ride but don't dare to pillion. Hahaha. Ah well. I'll probably have to ride my own ba. And 'earn' more scars! XD

All just sayings. Let's see if we do book the tix ba. 

Looking forward to tomorrow coz we're finally meeting and we're catching a movie! *beamz*

Even the silence is comfortable. Went to do a little shopping in preparation for my year end dive trips and also anymore Hantu trips where I may lose him down there again. =P or if I'm gonna go diving alone. =D 

And was keeping my gear just now when the mummy say next time when we get our house we can dedicate a room to our gears. I told her that's only if I really do get married to him. Or another avid diver. And I'll start buying more gear. =P if not.. Not possible lo. 

Weirdly. She hasn't spoken much to him before yet she thinks we'll end up together. And she's said 3 times since she knows his existence that the main point is that we're comfortable with each other. She has NO idea. =P

Ok.. Another early night then. TatA!

Was talking to mummy yest night. And she said my life's happening right now coz I'm going out for movies.. Dinner and work. But I know she was hinting about me spending time with him. 

Then I just say this's my normal life.. And that when we meet we usually talk about diving or a little about traveling or books. Coz those are common topics. And that he's usually the quiet one. A little like dad. Whether this'll sustain a not I'm not sure. So it's one step at a time.

Now that I think about it. My past relationships worked the same way. Only one common topic. And that was work. lll-.- so now coz this's not about work anymore but there's still common topics. We'll see. 

But scary part is how comfortable and routine the whole thing seems. It's a little unnerving. Not fast and furious kind. But just comfortable ba. 

And my promise to myself for these 2 days. I'm not gonna text him first till he text me and I've to reply. I've to stop putting so much feelings into us right now. Especially when I don't know where we're heading. 

So we spoke about it yest in the car. And I've done the cancellation today. Feel so much more relieved surprisingly. 

One of my fav dive photos from yest. Of humans that is. =) Love this bunch of people.. But missing Tracy! If Coron does come true end of Dec.. We're most likely going! =D 

And this time round I'm gonna hold back texting le ba. And also for Wed dinner. Now I'm sleepy. Time for bed. Nightz world. 

'Oh so sweet of them!' He said.. Hahaha.. He took a brochure yest and passed it to me today. Then the bro came back with 2 of the same thing and said it was for us. =P Thanks to Ah Mei also otherwise my bro also wouldn't have taken them. =) 

Had good dives today. Ended up with some cuts on the back of my hands - no idea how those happened. And I lost him again on the first dive. Ah well. =P this time no panic nothing. I continued.. He resurfaced to look for me and then went back down. Hahaha. Oops! 

This coming week's gonna be busy. FET class. So we're only gonna meet on Friday. For movie! And Night Festival! And can stay out late coz next day his dive is night dive. <3 

After doing some more research on places to in NYC. The more I think about it. The more I don't feel like going. Coz ultimately I wanted to go was coz I wanted closure to that chapter of my life. Now I know I don't need it coz it's already closed. 

So I posted that I called and asked about flight cancellation and he immediately texted me and asked why.

Yest he emo. Today seems to be my turn. And for no reason. 

Diving tmr with him. =)

Coz I still miss him. 

But after a night's sleep. Everything seems better. And the last text last night and first text early this morning made me think again. 

So dating is not a bad thing. Just that maybe coz I've never done it before. And so all of this feels new and weird yet exciting at the same time. Maybe that's why my nerves were up and down. 

Anyways. Sunday we're diving together. Mondays and Tuesdays nights are now out coz he's doing his PhD. When my ACTA starts more days that'll be out. Next week's FET for me. So we're meeting for another movie on Friday instead. And we're going to night at the museums. <3 

Not gonna dive next week ba most likely. See how first.

Then 2 more weeks after to my weekend dive holiday. And then 2 weeks outta town for work. When I'm back only 2 days to catch up and then he's off for reservist for 3 weeks. Even though we're going for the da:ans festival on Saturdays and probably no diving on Sundays. Nov he's going outta town for school trip. Dec I'm out for 2 weeks to NYC. 

2 more LOBs for him. And probably see how we can squeeze in a short dive trip together after his Nov and before my Dec. 

If this's what dating's about. And the feelings' mutual. Nothing's really too bad about it I guess. And I can still see see look look if I want to. =) 

I'll look on the bright side. One step at a time ba. 

We did more than just dinner. He wanted to catch Paper Towns. So we did. And then we went home individually. 

And I finally asked the question. The answer? 'Dating?' 

Dating - more than just friends but not into an intimate relationship. 

So I suggested a break. He still wants to come pick me up on Sunday coz we're diving again. I said ok. 

As for the rest. He said he's probably more rusty than me and that we should get to know each other better first. I don't know where this's going. I don't know if I want to know. Or even if I'll stay long enough to find out. 

What I do know is that I miss him like shit. And I've been crying to sleep since Saturday night. 

好久没那么自私了. 谢谢你. <3 

It's not much. But I really am looking forward to dinner tonight. Even though it's only gonna be an hour or so. Just because I get to see you again. 

Be still my heart. 别再痛了. <3 

Out to Malacca with them over the weekends and Saturday was the craziest night. 

Drunk. Totally. Or maybe coz I was really missing him too much. He was out on LOB again over the weekend. Sighz. There's more to come. 

I don't know what are we still. So please don't ask. I'm just happy the way we are now. 

Beautiful day for diving at Hantu. 4 dives and it made one hungry fella and the 2 of us are burnt.. Me more badly than him. Hahaha.. Coz I took off my half of my wetsuit between dives. That thing is too hot la. =P 

Thanks for picking me up and sending me back. And it's definitely a well spent Sunday with you. <3