And since I've decided to have the page. I'll need to come up with a loose structure of what to share. Like local food and the good food I've had. And the places I've travelled to ba. 

Objective of the page? To share my love for food and travelling on a separate page rather than my personal one. I hope it works! 

This may sound really crazy. But it's my first attempt at doing up my own page on fb. Foodie goes travelling. Come follow me! =P

Afraid to sleep now coz fear of not waking up is higher. Maybe I should juz ton the night? 

And he puts that smile back on my face. <3 

Was having lunch with my mum earlier today and talking about emcees and marriages. And she said she's not open minded. Haiz. Open minded in the sense that she'll expect me and my bro to marry a Chinese. No one else. 

Ah well. It'll come when it comes. 

Learning - The Finnish Way.

'The emphasis is on learning through collaboration, not competition.' 

'We believe strongly that free play nurtures creativity and independence.'

'We focus in helping a child discover the joy of learning.'

- Sandra Davie. The Sunday Times Senior Education Correspodent. 

A couple of minutes after I posted the thought on fb (after not posting for more than a week - which. In my case. Is a big deal) I received this in my watsapp. Hahaha. Too bad I was asleep le coz today I needed to wake up super early for FOR. 

So then I replied. 'Hahaha.. For you or for me?' =P

It's always the thought that counts I guess. Yes no doubt at this point no one can motivate me like how he did. But that doesn't mean they're not trying. Probably they juz don't know how to make me? 

A country away but technology is really efficient. Connecting people in more ways than one. 

So *h. Thanks for that quote. I'll try to keep that in mind yeah? *winkz*

I think I know why le.

The last time we were in contact was in May.. The last we met was when you sent me off to Tibet last year.   

I realized that usually when I'm feeling lost and down. You will 'appear' somewhat and encourage me on. That. Was my motivation. 

With you outta my life for good. I've no one out of this circle of friends who can give me a motivation to work towards nor push myself further. 

Not that it's a bad thing. Coz ultimately I need to learn to live my life without you. And this's a lesson I need to complete. The only uncertainty of this is if I will stay to complete this lesson or will leave before that. 

... ...

*h's in KL now and I was telling myself to live without him for a couple of days. But guess what? He text me. And then watsapp me. So as usual we chatted before he disappeared. 

Life is not so unbearable after all. =) 

I juz need to find my motivation back. Fast. 

And again a whiff of your cologne. <3

A few days without my kaki.. </3

Not sure if it's a good sign.

Today off day. Met Raymond. Jeb and Don to go MPS. Had lunch then went down together. Then when I was there we walked separately le. 

Spoke to a lot of people. From Albert the CRM. To Kris. To Rejit. To Adren. To Eileen. To Jac. To Steven. And the usual Mohany and Vikki. 

And I realized how many people I've known in my short time as a RM and BC. And how much I've come to achieve. 

Sighz. Do I really want to end it this way? 

I don't need anyone's empty promises. Juz do you stuff and wayang. F. 

也不知从何开始我对旅行有了那么一份爱. 那一份感情. <3

Wanted to start a fb page on travel and food. But couldn't find a name suitable to start with. 

And I was curious as to when my wanderlust start. So I surfed my fb albums and realized that the year I really travelled was 2012. But the trip that got me hooked on travelling? I can't seem to recall.

I remembered reading somewhere yesterday (Getting Stamped) about travel burnout. And how true it is. When you've always been travelling to the same kind of place. After some time you juz wish you were somewhere else. 

For me the beach has always been my boyfriend. But recent months it hit me that moutains is my other lover. Especially with that trip to Tibet. 

I'm slowly becoming a storyteller in my own rights. Juz that work is preventing me from doing it more frequently. No. I didn't travel as much as I like this year. But the couple of places I've visited have been awesome in their own ways. 

Each place I visit. Is always a place I've wanted to go. I've never travelled to a place where I didn't want to go. Coz I don't believe in spending money and time on places that doesn't interest me. 

And so my planning of next year has started. With 3 confirmed places I'll be heading to. <3 tmr I'll continue to plan so that I get the most out of this relationship of mine. (I'm referring to travel as my relationship - I read a well written article this afternoon about a guy with SIA and thought it was a good way of expressing and am trying out now.) 

And of course. I don't want this love affair to end. I love him too much. Too deep. And I know I'll be so so lost without him around. Coz even *m knows how much I've missed him. <3

Give me some time. After I sort out my thoughts. More likely than not will I give up my fb account and focus on the page I wanna create with my love. =)

Guess what? I'm off again tmr. Like seriously. This week is killing me!! Arrrghz!! 

I juz realized I have these 2 tees from my trip to Boracay. And best part? There's the male and female series. And he bought the male ones. Hahaha. Coz cheap ma. And like what I said. He's my clothes shopping kaki. <3

Playing badminton. With Jack. Against Don and Khai Sien. Heng got kakis! XP

The last time I play for work was when I was a CL. With *b. How many donkey years ago was it? Hmmmz. 

... ... 

To the 3 men in my life now. Thank you for the advice. <3 Will update you again after the talk. Hopefully I can gain some insight. 

And this came from him. 

I hope I last. 

This is super weird. I juz text *m coz I need an ear. An opinion. Yet *h's the one who replied asking how am I now.. 

Never felt so emo-y before. Refused to reply their watsapp today. 

Beautiful sunset. And it reminded me of home. </3

I'm still thinking if this's the place I wanna be. This amount of stress and life is not what I wanted. I need an ear. Yet I don't know who to turn to. </3

Wow! What luck! 5 days off! In a row! =P

Travel teaches toleration. <3

Juz read it off a post. Forgot who's the author. But I think this quote is super true. 

Coz of travel. I've learnt to be more independent. Taking care of myself. And I've learnt to trust. And that tolerance is a virtue. 

Sacrifices are no longer necessary. But. In order to travel. I need to sacrifice. <3

And my night continues with macaron. Mooncakes. Milk. And a book. =) 

... ... 

Was watching 我不可能会爱你 and a sudden thought crossed my mind. Me and *h. It's nothing but a platonic friendship. And I'm hoping it'll stay this way. 

And then I realized. No one I've met since I started working knows me well enough. Or stuck around long enough. Besides mum and *d for now. I've known mum for at least 4 years? Or 5 years now. *d a good 3 years or so. And these are still the ones who can read me like a book. Not that I'm tough to read. But coz most people don't know me well enough to understand my mood swings and when I juz needed an ear. 

It's been quite sometime that a sound from the bikes in the carpark can cause me to pause in my reading and try to guess what bike it is. 

It's been a good 3 days. Juz me and my books. And I'm procrastinating about doing my planner still. Tmr then do. Tonight is all about me. My books and I. <3

My 3 days off spent curled up in my fav position. Living life in a world of Shadowhunters. <3

This slight breeze (though half man made) and this humidity. It made think of home. <3 if only I was by the beach right now. Without a care in the world. </3

Maybe coz of what she juz posted. 'And suddenly. I juz miss you. 2 years ago and 2 years after. Same occasion. Different us. </3' 

It made me recollect all the pieces of my memory. Actually is wasn't today that I recalled back. But when I took that box of mooncake from Ginger and opened up. It made me think of *w and *j. Especially so when this year's Mid Autumn Festival I was with *h having dinner and doing work. 

Why do we have memories? Especially when the memories are the ones which cuts the deepest. 

... ...

Spent the whole day at home yest. Doing whatever that pleases me. And that was reading and eating. Finished The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones and City of Ashes. Gonna start on City of Glass once I stop procrastinating with my bed. =) 

And then *h made this travel plan which includes me. No doubt he spoke about it before. But I thought it was juz a say-and-forget thing. Hahaha. We'll see ba. Coz the place we're going is one of those where almost all friends around us would never go. =P 

But even if I don't go with him. I'd still go. Coz that's another place that's on my bucket list. =P 

My mum is so cute. Tell me to keep the clothes if it rains. Then ask me if I know how to. So i told her. 'I run a million dollar business and yet you are doubting me over some clothes?' And she burst out laughing. Hahaha.

Walked around the Tiong Bahru estate looking for food and a place where we could stay till late. Initially wanted to try Plain Vanilla but they close at 8pm. So Social Haus was the final call. 

They were having a Thrirsty Thursday promotion. Meaning that a bucket costs juz $40. =P Heng I was with a drinking kaki. But coz the choices were Corona. Henieken or Asahi. It was a no brained which we chose. =P

Being the 2 silly us. We decided to order mains first. His mushroom aglio olio. 

My X.O prawn pasta. Sans the spicy sauce. But the prawns were simply superb. 

And every bucket we ordered came with free nachos. Which was much better than the one I had at Muchos. lll-.-

Then as we were doing our work. We decided to order bites. Hahaha. How wrong was this? So Cesar salad sans the bacon bits. 

And also the garlic prawns. Where he was happy dipping the bread with the chilli. Hahaha. =P

It was an awesome to place to chill. On a weekday night. =D and as they close at 12mn. We stayed till 11.30pm or so before leaving. =) And probably we were the youngest around. And this *h kept asking for this and that. The staff came and talked to us machiam like super old friends. Hahaha. Not that it was a bad thing. Coz *h got free cuff links from her. Hahaha!! 

Came back with the bottle that we couldn't finish and continued my drinking session while emo-ing. =/

And he was nice enough to ask me why I was so emotional and juz vent it out on him. Which I told him. It's not frustrations or anger that I have. But helplessness ba. So I've decided these 2 days. I will do whatever my heart tells me to do. And juz stay low..

Not feeling particularly strong now. But I have to be. 

As I was thinking yest. If now I had a car. The places I'd drive to to destress by myself. At all the weirdest hours of the day. 

Suddenly missing Upper Selatar very much. </3

... ...

Hopefully my mood will cheer up later. On the way to meet *h now.

中秋节快乐. 

*I remember the last time I celebrated was with *j at Chinese Garden. Last year? Or the year before?*

juz like what the caption said. 'one of the most common proofs that you've been to Boracay is that you have your own henna tattoo.' 

miss my tattoo which is slowly fading off. </3

Having my much missed breakfast now. Still procrastinating about calling the customers. Ahhh... 

Would love to get away from the real world for a while. <3

'11:11: taking a hiatus from fb. TatA.'

I don't know why. Maybe it's juz PMS. But the world suddenly seems so bleak. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. This really isn't the life I want. I'm juz taking things as they come. 

Went to Pasarbella after my Nabit juz now to pick up the vouchers. And I had my usual shot of coffee. Had a nap juz now. And decided that I'll only call the customers tmr. There's only so much one can take daily. The only thing good is the training I get (sometimes). The benefits and of course my pay.. Hahaha. 

Finally off tmr. Friday the YOTC is apprently cancelled. If it is then Fri and Sat I'll really truly take off. And then Sunday meeting the HGW girls for lunch. And Monday back to work at 4am in the morning coz of MDS 2.6 pilot launch. 

Why do I stay? This's a question I've asked myself more than once a day recently. Izzit coz of the people? Or the system? Or the sabbatical bait that's 3 years down the road? 

I don't know. I can talk to others and encourage them to hang in there. But I can't seem to self motivate. What is my purpose? I don't know. 

I know I'm emo-ing. I can feel it. I know *d is there. But how much can he take also? After crying it does feel better. Temporarily. But how about tmr? The day after? 

Because he knew me well. He knows this's not the life I wanted. I was talking to him and somehow suddenly the tears juz rolled down like that. Thank god it wasn't the first time he's seeing me like that. But he IS the first guy after *w to see me cry. It's been very long since I last cried. When Shida left the PMO. 

But thank god he's there to hear me out. I've been taking care of my people. But who's taking care of me? My feelings? 

Super tempted to 'runaway' for 2 days if the meeting's really cancelled. But I can't leave my kids like that. I'm no longer a RM who can take impromptu breaks as and when I want. I need to plan and inform beforehand.

Maybe I'll find somewhere to rot or excercise or sleep instead. =/

Have done both. Both way back in my innocent years. =P

Machiam I very old now. But then again I AM getting old. My energy level is not what it used to be anymore. And most of the time I juz wanna be left alone and rot and die. 

Met Er Jie for dinner yest.. And she was saying that 感情是可以培养的. Wtf. Coz we were talking about my trip to Boracay recently. But like mum she's also divorced though quite close with her ex too. Only diff is mum has 3 monkeys and she has none. I wonder if I'll end up like them one day.. 15 years down the road. Hmmmz. 

Was also kinda destressing myself by going shopping yest after class. At kino. H&M. Laudree. And then dinner with drinks. Damage = $300. Singapore is really expensive yeah? But ok la. Am happy though was missing my clothes shopping kaki somewhat. =P 

Today considered off day though going for service hero party later. And I'm sure as usual the in charge BC will be late and wayang only.. So I shall hang back also. Why bother working so hard for something that's not my event? Only coz I don't want the 3 CRMs to die. 

Ok. Back to my lalaland. Zzzzzz

Been seeing her 2 days in a row. Last night as I was reaching home at the lift lobby. Now as I'm in the LRT heading to work. 

Not sure if it's a good sign or a past that's gonna be unravelled again. *ouch*

2 helpings of a super satisfying homecooked prawn mee. 

My first taste of ice cream mooncake..

Super satisfied. <3 

I love my family. =D

This literally left a grin on my face. Even though I'm super sleepy now. Hahaha. Sometimes all you need is someone to perk you up. <3

Muz. Be. Super. Bored. In. Class. 

Well. I am. I miss RLP where we were given things to colour and doodle. Almost fell asleep lo! 

Heng my table at least got Rahmah and Cindy Phua. And Irene from HR. Heng no best friend. I will faint. X/

More doodlings to come. =/

*g got married. 4 September. Happy for him. Congrats! Let's see who's gonna be next. *he's already married beginning of year. Left *y and *w and *b and *n and *someone? =D

Except for *w. The rest I'll wait for fb status. =) 

To achieve results: it's not the weight of thickness of the file. It's the on floor observations and reactions. If your current practice now still doesn't yield you results after so many years. Doesn't that signify that a change is needed? 

当一个人离开我的世界时. 我亲幸另一个人就那么走进来了. 

When I'm at my weakess mentally and emotionally. I'm thankful for the support these 2 person have given me. They never appeared together in my life. Rather 1 out and 1 in. But nonetheless still thankful. Of course I cannot forget my 'family'. And my W6 at times when I need that ear. 

Although now I'm staying in the system coz of the system and no longer for the people. I believe there will come a time when I will leave coz of the people. 

Suddenly what *m said to me occurred. Am I sure I won't wanna be a BM one day? 

I've lost many friends over work. Coz of work. But I've settled into a routine of filtering out the friends and are left with juz a couple who keeps me sane. From beloved and mummy to my HGW girls. These are the only few out of work who can understand and accept me in some way or other. =) 

But also coz of work I've found people who truly understands me and grew with me to who I am today. From mum to Mdm Soh. To *d. Sister. From the kakis in W6. I'm truly thankful. 

Life has been good to me. 

While I can't have a relationship I have friendships that means the world to me. And these are friendships I will keep at all costs. No matter how tired I may be. How tied up I may be. I'll try ways and means to meet up. Even if it means I've to sacrifice my sleep. =) this's how important they are to me. 

And yest. He automatically updated me about his class. =P

Okies. Early start to the day. And a looooong day in fact. Here's to a good week ahead! =D

Either that. Or coz they juz don't understand you anymore. And there's no point staying around them and all their negativity. 

It takes 2 hands to clap. When friends move away from each other. Ask yourself why so? I had friends who didn't move away from me. Rather I moved away from them. Coz at that point I felt that they don't understand me anymore. It has nothing to do with work. Yes. Work is taking up my time. But when I choose to move away is also coz of how YOU made me feel. 

The longer I work the better balance my life is. I can find dates to meet friends who matter. I can find dates for myself. 

Sometimes I travel solo for a reason. I juz wanna get away from everyone and everything here. So perhaps you should take the hint and stop asking if you could tag along. 

I have my own plans and probably (most likely!) it doesn't include you. 

An early morning conversation I had with an ex PMO RM. It becomes quite disturbing when I hear things. Not that it's a bad thing hearing things. But more of that I'm glad they trust me to that certain extent. But it made me question my own leadership. Am I really ok? Am I really doing fine? I don't want to be the blue eye of the mother. That's the last thing I wanna be. Yes I feel lousy when she praises the rest in front of me. And saying that they are her blue eye. But I guess me being the rebellious me. I'll never be her blue eye. But at least I know I'm doing my job. And from how I hear myself from others I'm coming along fine. Hmmmz. 

On a separate issue. Why does a guy and girl who travels together gotta be related? Either siblings or they muz be in a relationship. 

True that I've never travelled that much with an opposite sex. Only with *y (many times) and *b (to visit his relatives in Penang) and *g and *w once each into JB on a day trip. And *n when I went Phils. So officially travelling with *h is the first time. And it's funny how people assume I'm his gf. Hahaha. But they think he's Filipino and he plays right along confusing everyone. =P

Okies. Need to rest my eyes a bit. Doing CSV today again. =)

在这个时候我需要的就只是一个能陪在我身边的人. 

Everyone has someone special that is by that side. Maybe I've been too independent and too strong for too long. It's gonna be tough to find someone to be there for me. So rather than looking for someone. I'd continue to rely on myself. 

It's juz that emotionally I need someone to be there for me. Take me at my most emo and weakest and still be there during my happiest. Hmmmz.

简单的满足. <3 

Had a long session today doing SOX and PnL and comms day. And juz a simple msg from him made me smile all the way from then till now. 

I've kinda forgotten what it feels like to have such simple happiness. =) 

That day had a jaw dropping dinner session with ah pang. Boss. Jacq. Les. <3 and then I think les said I should turn butch. Hahaha! Too bad I'm a bi la. Currently unknown. =P 

Off to change to LRT to buy dinner. Juz cut my hair. Today using new bag. Ahh.. <3

A week ago I was enjoying the sunshine of home. A week later I'm working in the rain. What a difference. 

Anyways. Work's been crazy. Yest went home early to sleep after buying my bag. Like finally! Wanted to buy it in Manila but the Crumpler shop had moved out of SM Megamall. Yest bought my first ever Manhattan Portage tote bag! <3

Think he was damn shagged too. He fell asleep while replying me. And this morning said he's tired. The holiday really drained us out ba. 

I juz remembered yest that on the bus back to Kalibo he suan-ed and said that I slept so well. And that he was awakened coz apparently I leaned over on his shoulder and he woke and couldn't sleep after that. Hahaha. I really have no recollection. Seriously! 

Met him yest. But I guess the next we'll be meeting with be on my next off day. Ah. Long way to go. He's going for class today and tmr. And I had to wish him luck.. Coz he said he needed it. 

So somehow the friendship is still as stable despite that we travelled together (which is a good thing!) and that we seemed to be able to read each other better now. =) 

Kk. At NUS le. Gotta start work. TatA! 

Something fun that we did in the cove! =P

Woke up hungry. Need breakfast and coffee. *never thought I'll be saying this* O.o

Super tempted to take him up on the offer of piccolo. *yawnz*

Artist name: Yix

Finished the videos! Yeah! Time for bed! And feedback about my planner is ok! XD happy me. Maybe later will have my fav cup of coffee to drink. =P

His boss thinks too much. Like seriously too much. 

Met *h for a quick dinner and he was telling me what his boss said. We are juz friends going on a trip lo. He used to have a roommate who was female too lo. And nothing happens. What makes this time so different? 

I juz want to have him as a BFF. Like how *d and I are. And I was super comforted yest when after seeing my post *d msg me and calmed me down. So did mum. As did *h. 

Juz coz we are of the same age and enjoys each other company doesn't mean we have to end up together lo. Hmmmz. 

=edited=

Today sis asked me who was the 'he' in 'as he was sleeping'. Hahaha. I said my bro lo. =P

躲躲藏藏的日子我受够了. </3

Izzit a crime to have grown up in the system? 

Izzit a crime to be promoted so fast resulting in my friends coming from different levels? 

I really don't see you having issues hanging with friends from lower level than you. Even travelling or juz meeting them for dinner. Neither do you prevent certain blue eye people from meeting their friends and ex colleagues. 

Juz coz all of them are married and I'm not does not give you that power over me to control my social circle and who I mix with. 

*h was smart. He knew something triggered me off yesterday. I didn't tell him much though. Think we're still recovering from the hangover from travelling and he still has classes to teach. 

I'm unsure why am I so affected? And perhaps all through my relationships. Only *g and *b was publicized. The relationship I had with *y was kept under wraps for the whole duration we were in. Which is in fact unfair to him. Back then there seems to be valid reasons but now thinking back I felt that I owed that much to him. 

The only things I kept under wraps now are the friends I met to go have a meal together. And who I travel with.

Sometimes thinking back it may not be that I enjoyed solo travelling. I was forced to enjoy and grew into it coz there was no 'approved' people I could travel with? Maybe? 

I don't know. 

The sunset on the 3rd day of my travel. Current status: back to reality *with a lack of sleep* 

This new travel buddy of mine is ok. Pass. =) really in our own world. He in his. Me in mine. Do whatever we like. Only thing was that I didn't get to eat lechon. Other than that ok.. =) beer was drank day after day except for yesterday. And for once. We're both working at 9am after touching down and reaching home at almost 2am. Hahaha. 

So smart ah. 

Kk. Gotta nap a bit. Super shagged and itchy ah. 

Lepak-ing. Home = beer + beer + beer. <3

Each day so far drink 3 beers each. Hahaha. Day 1: RHB. Light. Tanduay Peach. Day 2: Light. Super Dry. Gold Eagle. 酒鬼. <3

Not high. Juz sleepy.. Hahaha. Too much sunshine. Too much seawater. Okies. Time to get ready to head up! =P