suddenly pissed off mode. was planning to sleep early and write in my journal a bit. but in the end wanted to book the sri lanka trip accommodations. then pissed off coz that day saw a damn good deal but i never book! *wailz* so researched a bit more on the accommodations so now still planning. but kinda gave up. no mood to. don't know why also.

yest went out with shark. after i went to the store to speak to a manager. hung out at 302 from like 1am till 6.30am juz eating and drinking (non alcoholic) and really shared a lot of things. things that probably people like beloved and mummy and mum are aware of.

it's of the hurt and the pain. and the journey i took to move on.

ah well. wanna go sleep le. later need to wake up earlier. counting down to 2014 with beloved and mummy! =)

PS. i have become such a vampire these few days. shit.

突然间想起你我一起度过的时光.

谢谢你我学会了独立. 谢谢你我从伤痛中走了出来.

So I went to see the doctor yest. And 2 good news. I've gained like 5kg since I last weighed (when I went for my trip and transited in Cebu). No longer underweight! *yeah-ness* BMI finally in normal range too! XD 

Another one. I finally removed that sore looking cyst from my leg! So that's my leg wrapped and sealed in guaze and with stitches beneath. *double yeah-ness*

Actually I'm still sleepy but coz now TV's having a rerun of 醉后决定爱上你. Hahaha. So gonna lie here and doze off if I may. Since weather's so good too. Will check the schedules later. =P

Kaki has reached Koh Lanta safely le. =) been online with him the past 2 nights. <3

The fellow in Krabi and sending me photos of sunshine. Fish spa (to which I asked if there were casualties =P) and the price of it. 

Super emo last night. Coz badly affected by that 1 stupid customer. But yeah. Borrowed mum's ears for 11/2h counseling session before her trip up North. And *h came and entertain me also. While we were doing work. Hahaha. Till 3am or so when I went to bed. 

And the view from Phi Phi island today as he send to me earlier this morning. Gosh.. How I miss the sunshine. </3

Dear Santa. It's that time of the year again. But unlike any others. I won't ask for anything. 

This is hasn't been a fantastic year for me. But it's been good enough. I've got my good friends around me and made a couple more good friends. Most importantly. This's the year I've truly moved on and refuse to live in the past anymore. 

It definitely wasn't easy to come up with that decision to move. But come and think about it. I'm not getting anymore younger and time is not waiting for anyone. 

So Santa. For once in return. I'd like to wish you a Merry Xmas and that you'll give out many many presents to all the good kids tonight! <3

And my kaki has flown over to Thailand for his 10 days trip. And he was telling me 'Railey here I come!' 

Hahaha. Happy holidays *h! 

We were chatting online and he knew I was emo-ing and randomly asked me out for a drink. So I did. Cabbed over and had a drink. He sent me this photo..

So while waiting.. I spotted something he didn't realize. =P

So a bar it was.

Nice place. And yes I do feel much better. *h. Thank you. Terimah kasih. Arrigato koizamas. Gracias. <3

Hahaha. Eh. I 'lost' my wallet yest coz I left it on a seat in Niqqi's. Kenna suan upside down by him. =/

And so I spent $40 on cab yest. From Niqqi's to home to Niqqi's and home again. 

Thank god everything was intact. =)

Randomly as we were leaving after doing project.. He suggested having cheese prata. So I said ok since I was hungry anyways. =)

To a much loved place: I promised to build new memories over the pain. And in a way I'm glad we've come to conclusion about a certain someone in our midst. 

Stepping back may not be easy. But after seeing how she behaved that day. The 2 of us woke up somehow and are more cautious now. 

My number one teh tarik. <3

Our maggie goreng for sharing.

And 1 kosong prata each! <3

He ordered another prata telor and asked if I wanted to share. I like my plaster prata better though! =P

Project finished. Good food. Great company. On the way home now while he smokes. 

Good night world! Waking up early later for BE Nabit! =)

Hahaha. A present from *h! =D

So we went on an arty farty trip today. With the first to be an acrylic painting on canvas. My first try in 3 hours flat! 

After a while I find the colour too dirty. Or like what the other Arts student say 'muddy'. Hahaha.

It was kinda weird. Coz I didn't know how to bring *h up in front of her. Coz *h's the other Arts student and my creative brain but I don't know if she still feels the same. 

The places we go are places I know *h would love to go too.. There came a point we were texting while I was still with her. So it was really quite awkward. 

I did enjoy my day out. But I know it's no longer like before. So familiar yet so foreign. 

I don't know. Everytime I meet her it's like my emotions running amok. Sighz. =/

It's interesting how a wedding is happening and for someone who has never shared angbao with any ex-es is now sharing one with a guy friend. Hahaha... =P

It's been a good DnD session with my fellow chillies again at USS! =D

And it was a night out with mum. Mdm Soh and Hilmi. =)

And a good breakfast.. =)

Shopping with the Arts student and 2 of us playing with the pots and flowers.. Hahaha.. In the middle of the shopping mall.. 

Lovely Christmas tree at City Square.. <3

A good place for Teh Tarik too! =D

And to *h.. Thank you for the Xmas gift! Too bad no red hor? =P A cheap and good travel bag for future use! Hahaha. I got the other design for him too.. Yeahs! =D

What hurts most? Not being shown the care and concern that I should deserve. Or being called independent? 

Yes I crave my freedom and independence. But is this the price I need to pay? I'm juz like any other kid. No difference. What they get is what I want too. Izzit that tough? =/

On a note that made me somewhat happier. Was on the phone with *h yest late into the night and msging early this morning again. And *c replied with a msg that's so not her! Hahaha! 

Seriously?? Riot in Race Course Road? I don't blame them. It's their culture. What's pissing me off is the reactions of the Singaporeans online (as always). 

Yes. Sending them back is easy. Saying that you'd rather wait longer for your flat is easy. 

When the government is already tightening on the foreign workforce and by sending them back there'll be no replacements. And seeing how pampered Singaporeans are. It's not about how long you are willing to wait for your flat. It's more of a case of never getting it. 

Think about why foreign workers are here in the first place. Yes. I may not like some of them that much. But I respect them. Coz we're all humans and they're here to earn a living. 

Yet most of the time when you see them along the roads you despise them and they shun us. Why?? There's always minority in every race. Every religion. Juz coz you met a few horrid ones doesn't mean the whole basket of apples are rotten. 

Sometimes before you respond this way. Look inwards. You are also a reflection of their behavior. 

Stop thinking so highly of yourself Singaporeans. I feel ashamed to be one sometimes. =/

I am so messy when I travel alone. =P 1 room and all over are my things.. At least it's an organized mess! =D

细水长流. 95.8FM.

Early morning cab rider with a long lost song. <3

You. 

You are the reason why I'd rather go out late and come home even later. You are the reason why I choose to travel out of town whenever I can. However long I can. 

Sometimes you juz don't think about others do you? That the world is revolved around you and you only? 

And it may be unfair. But you're the reason why I've become more and more rebellious. First the henna tattoo. Next the shaving of my hair. No doubt I've still no clue as to what I wanna do with that bald patch. Still. Shaven and shone. 

If I have the capability. I'd rather quickly move out and live on my own. You're the reason why I've become so independent and why I wanted to go for the secondament in the first place. 

You've never thought about it have you? Well. There's only so much I can preach and say. Since it's falling on deaf ears. Then let it be. 

I sincerely wish you all the best in your working life and that your other half will come to understand and manage you better than me. 

1 Dec 2013: Comparing to many others out there. 10 years in the same company is a small thing. But when you're not even 30. That's easily 1/3 of your life. 

From a crew to where I am today. I'm thankful for those I worked with at one point or another. Thankful also for those I've come to know and are friends with even though we've never worked before. 

McFamily. 10 years and counting. <3

Ok... So to add to the list. I've spent Black Friday with *h too having seafood (again!) Cheerz to the friendship! =D

So without planning. We spent lantern festival together. Halloween. And now Thanksgiving. Awesome! <3

And surprisingly.. It's a last minute unplanned date! =P

And so I'm so high and drunk and working at 9am. And I'm still at AquaNova drinking. Hahaha. 

Don't know what made me re-read some of my older posts. And all of a sudden nostalgia struck and I was thinking back things that I should not have (I think).

1 year ago. Sir Jerry passed away. 

3 years ago. My last relationship.

I know I have gotten over every single one of them. Except maybe in a way I can never phantom. *y. But I'm truly happy he's moved on. And that in a way we are still friends. 

Maybe after all these. That's the reason why I have turned to travelling. My solace. My addiction.

I've learnt to be myself. To find back my lost soul. To nurture it back to health. And to love who I've become. 

... ...

That day *c was saying. And it got me thinking about it all over again. So now am texting *h for advice. 

Gonna go do food safety check after dinner later. Then was thinking of catching a movie. But suddenly was struck with the notion of heading down to Holland V for a drink. Not sure why but yeah. 

On second thoughts maybe not drinking. I think I've drank a bit too much the day before my Batam trip and on the only night there. =P

Perhaps a movie sounds better instead. Hmmmz. 

Oh my. I think I'm overworked. Well. 14th days straight can be considered that I think. 

And then I dreamt of her. Like out of nowhere. /o\ screwed. 

Awesomeness! Reached KAP at 6.50am for breakfast and project meeting! =D Love my A1 team without the fellow! =P

And I was surviving on another cup of piccolo and many many cups of coke. <3

And msgs! =D

My piccolo latte for breakfast today. Hahaha. Made with love from Hilmi. =P

Today has been a good day so far. Went out for dinner with couzin. <3 

Now texting *h. =D

If everyday can be like this. 

可能这样我也满足了吧. <3

When we went out that day he mentioned that there was a mutual friend who suggested we go JB together. And this mutual friend was not someone I'm super close with. O.o

Best part was how did that fellow know we're this close? Funny combi lo. 

And so randomly we're planning for next year's trip le. =P

Water. Sunshine. And I thrive. <3

met up coz i supposedly have complimentary tix. but cannot use! bah! but we still caught the movie la. not too bad. but not up to my expectations. and the boys on my right were so irritating! shake shake shake the leg. whole row also shake. =/

on the way doing some shopping. saw the christmas set up in taka! =D

he brought me to this place in lucky plaza for a late lunch/early dinner. 

our water chestnut.

the gado gado. which the gravy still tasted like satay sauce to me..

his ayam penyet. 

my milkfish! hahaha. actually i didn't see it. until he pointed out coz he knows how much i love my milkfish. <3

more christmas lightings! 

and we went to a cafe to chill! maison ikkoku. supposed to go penny university but it was gonna close in half hour's time and we couldn't make it. so he brought me here instead. 

what was supposed to be a session of him doing his work and me entertaining myself turned out otherwise. =D and in between him reading his book and me mine. we had random chats from work to travel. and from me sitting opposite him on a chair that seemed too high. he asked me to move over next to him on the sofa. <3

and then i insisted on ordering the paddle pop cake and he gave in to me. =P

as usual my piccolo latte. beans from toby estate.. 

his cafe mocha.

there was a boutique upstairs and this was what i saw on my way up..

and back down the stairs..

and he was craving for another slice of cake. but he asked me to choose. seeing that he was going on and on earlier about the red velvet nutella i ordered that. =)

and i wanted a drink. and he wanted the 'shaken tea'. so i ordered the home made iced tea (which was shaken) and we shared lo. =P

and like what he said. this's his contribution for the day. lll-.-

really a good day off. <3