And I didn't regret waking up this early and catching it. Neither did I regret tearing at the end of it.
For all the normal storyline that a story unfolds. This is a well paced movie. A story of love's fight against cancer. But what shocked me most was the open concept of euthanasia.
It was a topic that I first came across in sec 2 for a class debate. I remembered vividly how many hours I spent researching on it. The stack of notes I made as a debtor. And how even after the debate was over how deep the subject has made its mark on me.
Once in a while I would chance upon an article on euthanasia and I recall perfectly how I would read the article in detail and even did newspaper clippings of it at one time.
It has since been sometime that I last broached such a subject. Much less in my posts. But coz of this show. It rekindled the thoughts I had of it..
Euthanasia: morally incorrect but perhaps humanely right?
Mind's in some kind of turmoil right now. Not juz over the emotions and thoughts the movie brought along. But also of that first dream.
It's been quite a number of months (or perhaps even years) since I last had a dream that evoked such strong feelings from within me. Call it the subconscious. Call it the buried feelings. Whatever it is. It's juicing my brain cells.
Ultimately I know it means nothing. And I'm purely wasting my time now. But as all things goes. Better to have something to think about than to keep wading in the past.
As what the movie depicts. I was ever the third party in others' relationships. Thinking back. It made me felt like crap and super guilty then. Though the other parties thought otherwise. I wanted a relationship to call my own and even though I was a minor character in their lives. I was happy (admist a guilty sort).
Now when I look back on the silliness that pursue. The pain it brought me. The years it took me to slowly move on thereafter. I was really nothing but a bitch. One's happily engaged now. The other.. *shrugz*
And since then I promised myself I'll never be that thorn that tears lovers apart. I'll never be that bitch that causes another girl to be in so much pain. And I'll keep to that. Even if fate decides that I should be a les the rest of my remaining life juz so I don't break my promise. I will.
No one will know better that kinda pain of someone they love cheating on them than someone who was the cause of the cheat.
Before the next relationship (whenever it may come). I'll stay clean and steer away from all these.
Criteria as how Raymond was asking that day: shares my love for travel. Good food. Art house movies. Loves and dotes on me. Think this all would suffice.
A relationship is built on the differences in between and strengthened by the similarities both shares.
