ok. officially sick.

reports all sent. findings settled. incentives done. fpg amended. crew creation all done. inventory done. only left the payroll to check through later.

medications. please work with me tonight.

what an end to 2011. =/

NYE

1st movie in gold class ever! with *j! hahaha. after my overnight somemore. =P and i do like this movie. it's the usual feel good movie but it's something from the norm. a story of moving on. of overcoming challenges and striving for your dreams.

straight after we bought a zoo. caught sherlock holmes! XD all on christmas day! this is an interesting show. but i haven't watch the first one yet. and i super like the ending! such a twist! XD

a show i caught after deciding whether to watch for so long. i like the twist to the end. yes. it may be a star studded cast. but it's the storyline that had me following it through and through. i also wanna be amazed! =P all the more i wanna go new york for xmas and new year's eve!

got a tad pissed off over work stuff juz now. now ok le. but my body doesn't seem to be cooperating with me! damn! juz last through tonight till new year's day please! i still need to count stock! =( and all this people watsapp-ing me now are irritating the shit out of me. LEAVE ME ALONE!!

anyways. was talking to *i this morning. and yeah. it's funny how exactly 1 year ago he was rushing the place and i was still super new to being a rm. a year later we met and we spoke about how tiring work has become. about our lives. and it got me thinking again. what exactly did i achieve in 2011? besides being in the limelight of a new store. of being a new rm opening a store. besides work achievements. what did i accomplish in my personal life? nothing. i neglected my friends. my family. myself. and i feel horrible. work has always kept me from thinking about it all. but as it nears the end of the year. for the past few months. i don't feel the passion anymore. i am tired of trying to accommodate to those idiots. tired of trying to do everything alone coz i have a 1st asst who is not as capable as thought.

so in 2012. i only have a few resolutions.

1) since off days can't be totally be my off days. i muz plan and spend it fruitfully. whether to complete my paperwork or rest.

2) to manage the store differently.

3) spend more time with my family.

4) exercise more often. be it squash or swimming or cycling or running another marathon.

what is mine will be mine ultimately. maybe i am still not ready.

... ...

and i have a feeling my body is giving up on me already. been coughing non stop since i woke up at 7pm and feeling that my arms and legs all don't belong to me. gosh. muz this happen on new year's eve? xmas eve was the burn. new year's eve and i am sick? =/

=edited=
the year has finally taken its toil on me.

Tired

Woke up at this ungodly hour once more to take over my overnight manager so that she can sleep a bit before nabit later. Sighz. I hate waking up to go for work at this time. I'd rather be the one doing overnight and going home to sleep for a few hours lo. What to do? Nobody can exchange managers with me. Especially since bloody BC asked me to attach my managers out and I've no more left for exchange. lll-.-

So. Since that last post. Besides meetings that were completed. I haven't start on my bloody management schedule. And neither have I completed the plan to win.

Poof!

There goes my off tmr. =(

Psyching

I know I have a list of things to do. But I am so not in the mood. And most are due tomorrow or by Wednesday. How??

I need to send the action plans tmr. I need to do my management schedule by wed. I'm meeting my hgw kakis tmr for dinner. The ex cck4 team for dinner on wed. And tmr I plan to go for the logos hope bookfair. A movie then the dinner.

Sighz. I've never felt so not into work before.. =(

=edited=
And yes. You are fucking pissing me off. You don't do your part yet you expect the rest of us to? You think that you deserve to be promoted rather than Jackson? Think again. With your capability and mindset. Even Danilo have surpassed you. You? You're a wait to be told. Complacent. Irresponsible and negative bitch. I've seriously had enough.

SCDF

I guess I shouldn't have watched that show. I mean. Yes I know it's related to your job and I was curious to see what goes behind the scenes. But I guess it was a super wrong move. Coz it made me think of you again when I shouldn't.

Platonic friends. We're not even that so why do I keep thinking so much? Or izzit coz I genuinely missed hanging out with you?

27 hours without sleep. Why am I pushing myself to the limits once again?

Burnt

First overnight shift in a long time and on the 23rd of Dec. Best Christmas prezzie I received? A burnt on my master hand. Sighz.

Stupid Desmond commented that I've been working with that oil for the past 8 years and yet I could still get burnt by it. lll-.-

It kinda looks chao da now though. But not as pain as this morning. =/ what a wake up call in the early morning with Havi delivery. Guests in. And sizzling heat in the hand. I felt like a fish in a pan. Hmmmz.

What surprised me was when I posted the comment and photo on fb. And some people I need expected to ask. Did ask. *j text me. *y called me and scolded me over the phone. *he text me. Desmond. Michelle. Mum. Line. Chili. Prudence. Philip. Ben. Kaiting. Sister. Annie. Chris. My other mum. Hahaha. What a lot of live this Xmas! =P

Merry Xmas people! (and I hope I don't get burnt again or have another accident tonight!!)

=edited=
How I wish I'll get a surprised visit tonight!

Show

Aiyoz! What kinda show is this??

I juz woke up from my sleep and switched on the tv to channel 8 show. Then I had to see the GM of Orient Hotel send a bouquet of flowers to Rui En and Pierre Png was juz sitting at the other side. The Pierre's mum scolded him for letting Rui En slip past again and again. Then the shop closed.

Pierre was sitting beind the desk waiting for Rui En to finish work and wanted to send her home. But Rui En told him off. 'you know I've liked you for so long. Yet you went hot and cold on me. Tell me in my face if you don't like me. I'll move on.' Pierre was caught off guard and when Rui En was about to leave he said. 'i realized I've fallen for you very long ago but Yiting came back. It's not easy to let go of a 8 years' relationship. I'm used to waiting and she's used to keeping me waiting.' Rui En turned back and told him. 'I'll wait for you. Until the day you fogey Yiting...'

lll-.-

What a time to be seeing this!

Digging up the past

Digging up the past is bound to hurt. But I'm not sure why i suddenly would do that either. I thought back to the past in crez. In poly. At work. And I realized that I do have regrets.

If it's meant to be. It'll be? No matter the time and changes? Will that still happen? Hmmmz.

Reading between the lines is never healthy. Coz it makes one think too much and too in details when that may not be the case. At least that's what I told sister. =) so it's best that everything is said out in plain and no misunderstanding or guessing will happen. =) once in a while guess is fine. Juz not too often I guess.

Was sharing with *d and sister the other day. Then we were so randomly talking and I realized I still love surprises. Hahaha! And I detest routine. And how I still love being treated like a little girl despite my outlook. And how I love that distance between us and the breeze that passes. =)

Yeah yeah. Me being the random me has set a few goals for next year and 2014. Hahaha. Will share when it's closer to year end! Ohohoh! And after talking to brother yesterday. I almost forgot Euro Cup is next year! I am so gonna catch the matches! =D

hee. a random show with a random friend. not too bad. and the ending was twisted! hahaha! i like! XD

been busy over the past 2 weeks and with my dear phonie out of service. =( these 2 days were unplanned off days. so i stuck around at home. settled some work issues. (more to settle tmr) and planned for 2012. tmr's gonna be a long day in some sense. ordering. 2012 presentation. then dinner with the pmo rms and 1st assts. fri and sat my turn to do overnight! =) sun morning going out with *j after work. mon going ah ma's house for xmas gathering! XD tues meeting my hgw girls. wed meeting my ex cck4 gang for dinner! XD thurs opening then pmo nabit. fri only time to breathe before sat overnight again to close the year! =)

shall probably do my reflection of the year in another week's time or so. i'm super looking forward to my cebu trip in jan though! leave's approved. tix bought. arrangement with gino made. time to act differently next year! XD

and this shall be my motivation for the next 3 years. i want to watch the world cup 2014 in brazil. LIVE. doesn't matter which match but i juz wanna catch it LIVE. a once in a lifetime chance. and guess what? my mummy has approved of me going alone already! as long as i join a tour! *beamz* so i have signed up on a few websites for tour information and when the tix are available. =D and i'll probably stay additional few more days to enjoy the sights. =)

so if i do my counting. i'll need about $5000 for the tour and probably $1000 for spending. total $6000 for the trip. if i can guai guai save that $200 monthly for my trip from january 2012 onwards. by 2014 i will make my dream come true! so yes. i will put my heart and soul to that! south africa can wait!

so.

my next year travel plans has been firmed up. january to cebu for sinulog. march to bangkok paid by company. june for ray's wedding in perak. october or november will be the other company trip. then dec probably a 2d1n in malacca when hrc officially opens (coz i want the opening bear and pins! XD) so i should be able to save till then! now it's time to tighten my spendings! XD

and if i do get the scholarship next year. i should graduate by then and be able to travel! anyone keen to travel with me let me know kk? but muz confirm can go one horz. no last minute please! =P and no. i'm not gonna pay for you! XD

and so my motivation starts. =)

sam tsui - hold it against me

hey over there

please forgive me

if i'm coming on too strong

hate to stare

but you're winning

and they're playing my favourite song

so come here

'little closer

wanna whisper in your ear

make it clear

little question

wanna know just how you feel

if i said my heart was beating loud

if we could escape the crowd somehow

if i said i want your body now

would you hold it against me

coz you feel like paradise

and i need a vacation tonight

if i said i want your body now

would you hold it against me

hey you might think

that i'm crazy

but you know i'm juz your type

i might be a little hazy

but you juz cannot deny

there's a spark in between us

when we're dancing on the floor

give me give me more, give me more

wanna see it

so i'm asking you tonight

if i said my heart was beating loud

if we could escape the crowd somehow

if i said i want your body now

would you hold it against me

coz you feel like paradise

and i need a vacation tonight

if i said i want your body now

would you hold it against me

if i said my heart was beating loud

if we could escape the crowd somehow

if i said i want your body now

would you hold it against me

coz you feel like paradise

and i need a vacation tonight

if i said i want your body now

would you hold it against me

after that incident on mon/tue. i have decided. enough is enough. i will not sacrifice my family time for work anymore. neither will i sacrifice my health for work.

coz of a semi finals. of a crew outing. of a store close early. i stayed in store overnight. and the opening attachment manager came late. and that was when i promised my baby bro i would meet him for brunch coz i haven't met him for months. and tue was supposed to go for the exsa.

when i reached home on tue morning. my body was totally against me. even though i napped for 1.5 hours and was to wake up and go brunch-ing with my bro. my body refused to move. i was juz lying there and unable to move. no matter how much i told myself i need to get out of bed. i couldn't do it at all. so i had to tell him sorry that i'm really tired. yes. he didn't blame me and understood that i was tired. but i cried. cried for why am i so silly to push myself so hard. cried for why i'm unable to spend time with my baby bro. and i told a lie. told mickey i wasn't feeling well and didn't go for the exsa. and refused to pick up all calls and refuse to reply msgs that day. coz i was that dead tired.

and from that day i decided. my own personal stuff will come first over work. i gave 8 years of dedication and commitment to the company. it's time i get some time to myself. no doubt i am single. but doesn't mean that singles have no personal life. i have neglected enough of my family. i was never close to them. but that doesn't mean i can't spend more time with them. ask myself. when was the last time i sat down to a proper homecooked meal with everyone present. when was the last time i ate out with my baby bro. when was the last time i brought my mummy out to eat.

1 more year. if 1 more year and if i can't get the uap degree. i will put some serious thought into resigning. it's time to find a job without overnight shifts and more stable hours. yes i may be bored. but i'm no longer young. it's time to spare some thoughts about my future.

and yes. instead of south africa next year. i will aim for brazil 2014. for the world cup. south africa will always be there. but world cup will always change. so it's time to save up for that dream of mine.

Platonic

Platonic friendship. A friendship that is purely spiritual; free from sensual desire, especially in a relationship between two persons of the opposite sex.

Had a great catching up session with Eve juz now over sushi and at coffee club earlier. No doubt the other 2 girls were sick. But she shared with me this experience of hers of a platonic friendship with a guy friend that lasted through both their marriages. And that got me thinking.

Would it ever be possible that we would be friends again? Under the circumstances that we both have moved on and it's been sometime since our last communication. Yes. After the truth. I have moved on and hasn't been that constant in trying to maintain the friendship or keep it going. But your once in a while msgs kept me going and that it's the friendship that counts. Slowing down my pace and reflecting back on the past. I don't wanna lose you as a friend. And I hope that somehow I can still stay as that special friend that you once mentioned to me.

In my heart. You've always had that share of special place and with the story my friend shared. It seems plausible.

So if I'm willing to go back as being friends. Would you be agreeable to it? It does not need to be that constant msging nor calling nor meeting like the past. Once a month or once a quarter would be good enough. Juz a simple meal or a short movie. I wouldn't mind it all. And when it comes to a time when you've found your other half and ready to settle down and start a family. If I need to disappear from your life. Let me know and I will. But I will give you my utmost blessings from my heart prior to that.

A friend is for a lifetime. And given the chance. After all the times we shared laughing and going crazy food hunting in the night. I would wanna continue doing it.

So. *w. Let me know what you think. Whether or not it is possible. Juz a friendship. Nothing more.

... ...

如果放弃这份友情, 我应该会后悔一辈子吧?

and i was off to malacca for 2d1n! super lucky to have found a place to stay! XD stopped at malacca sentral as usual and told the cab uncle to drop me at jonker. and juz nice. he stopped directly in front of... hard rock!!! XD so super happy!!!

the reason why i was in malacca... =) (i bought 1 landmark one for Jose but i lost his add!!! freak!)

so went searching for my hotel coz it was quite ulu. and came upon it by accident. think i was damn lucky! =)

so after finding the hotel and buying the pins. i felt kinda lost. coz my goal has reached and i don't know what to do anymore... but my tummy needed to be settled so off to my fav chicken rice ball store in jonker! he ji! XD i don't like the rice balls all along. so loose rice is fine! XD and coz i was a sole traveler. the lady boss sat me and another lady (also sole traveler) together and we bonded over the meal! =) she's Tamami from hokkaido japan. and it was her first trip overseas alone. kinda pity her so when she asked if she could tagged along with me the whole day. i agreed. and since my main goal was done. there was no harm was there? =)

and we went to jonker 88 for chendol and ice kachang!

ta-da! pic time! XD

and then in the evening after roaming the place and shopping for facial masks and track shoes. we went back to her guest house at ringo's foyer to meet the rest for some cycling for dinner! =) super enjoyed the experience! and guess what? i met the howard that couzin was talking about so much previously and he remembered couzin too! =D so we were kinda like updating each other on how my couzin's doing... =P

and it's off to dinner! ... ... it's always this sight in malaysia that got me thinking of how much i really miss the times i spent roaming and exploring the streets of malaysia... from jb to johor jaya. to pontian. to malacca. sighz... memories...

and we continued cycling along the river in the night after a satisfying dinner... =)

my buyings in the afternoon! love the purple track shoes! XD

came back to sin with Dion. another friend i met in malacca coz he's coming over to sin and not sure of the way... Tamami is coming tmr as well. and i met mark over there with ruth as well. there's still some names i'm not too sure of. but ah well! it was a great trip meeting new people and i realized 1 thing! next time i go malacca. to and from melaka sentral. i can take a RM1 bus to get to jonker! XD

... ...

on the bus trip to and fro malacca and larkin. i thought back on things and reflected on myself. i am no longer a kid anymore. and i should not be a workaholic anymore as well. work things that can be pushed or coz it's my off or leave. i will ignore it. no point that i care so much yet others take me for granted. so yeah.

2011 is coming to an end soon. and with the next trip fast approaching on 12 jan to cebu. it's time to tie up all the loose ends and start afresh.

no more thinking back of what should have been or might have been. no more feeling hurt over people that had never belonged to me 100%. sometimes the greatest hurt comes from not knowing the truth. it has been 1 year. and tons have changed.

i am no longer who i used to be. coz in order to prevent myself from getting hurt again and again over silly matters. i decided to let it all go. and maybe it should start with some tougher measures instead of the ones i am doing now. hmmmz.

let's start with something stupid that i'll be doing tmr. =)

coz 1 of the people in the HRC malaysia posted a photo of 2 HRC pins in fb. i was super gian to go malacca. i knew they were opening a HRC in malacca but not sure when was the exact date till i googled and this was what i saw:

together with an artist's impression.

and so i decided to go on a day trip in and out. but after thinking and much consideration (on my pockets of course!) i decided to try my luck on this boutique hotel that cheekiemonkies stayed at the previous time. although it is $20 more than my usual stay at Aldy. but location and looks wise. i think it kinda won. hands down. =P

and so i booked on fri night. confirmation was on sat morning. and so i am going tmr! =D all alone! me-time!! =P *ssshhh* cannot tell my mummy. later she don't allow again. of course they only have superior rooms so it means i'll get 2 beds all to myself! XD and i asked mei yee to buy the bus tix for me yest. and so i will take from her today. yeah yeah! XD

HRC melaka! here i come! XD

been catching a few movies within the past 2 weeks.

the latest was on thurs after swimming with chili. alien. shark and *y. =) puss in boots! =P but somehow i prefer shrek more! =(

caught a show after my monthend overnight directly (meaning without sleeping nor change of clothes. =P) with alien and shark. a show ah pang initially wanted to catch. 50/50. the front was ok. but till the back it was a bit draggy...

and my much awaited breaking dawn part 1!!! with alien and shark! XD love their honeymoon place's the scenery! ♥ and am now super looking forward to part 2! XD

"原来，当你真的非常非常地喜欢一个女孩，当她有人疼，有人爱，你会真心真意地祝福她，永远幸福，快乐。"

a great show. an ending that caught me in tears. an unexpected movie with *j. what more do i need to say? nostalgia at its best. *w. watch this.

and there was immortals with alien and shark and ah pang. =) so-so ba. probably i expected more coz it was from the producers of 300. storyline could be better. but love the effects. =)

kk. kinda yawn-ey now le. opps! time to get my ass off to work. closing today and then tmr's bus's at larkin at 10am! XD hihi HRC melaka! XD