as promised to myself. i managed to catch this show somewhere last week. =) it's interesting how often that i'm catching shows of this genre. probably coz i saw the trailers and i thought it would be nice.

'one day': probably not a that fantastic a show. i love the storyline but was caught shocked at the twist in the end. very much of a british slang and how time really seems to fly. reminded me of another show. 'morning glory'. to you: wait for the dvd or watch online. not worth watching in cinemas. =)

went greenridge with mummy for lunch juz now and went to the rental shop to see what would be good to watch. =) and i saw this show that i have yet to watch. a show that was comparable to 'friends with benefits'. similar storyline and predictable. but no longer in cinemas. (such an old show!)

super love this. somewhat felt it's better than 'friends with benefits'. 只有心中有故事的人，才能体会之间的感触。watched this on lappy with my sennheiser headphones connected. machiam surround sound (over the thunder and rain outside). shiok! =D to you: find a way to watch this. not as hilarious as 'friends with benefits' but still good. =)

... ...

and interesting how a post of 'I QUIT!!!' can render so many comments from people who used to be part of my life...

fagan. jolyn. annie. hun loon. janice. kaijing. rudy. shujun. the most shocking ones were fagan. hun loon. rudy. these were people who are not that active on fb. but yet bothered to leave me comments. much much appreciated.

was out from sat night to yest night. and once i stepped back to singapore the msg i received pissed me off totally. it seems like everytime when i leave singapore i come back to clear others' fucking shit. then when i'm off in singapore. eveything is fine. then this equates to me having no life. might as well end this all!

i am pissed. frustrated. disappointed. all rolled into one.

to the point that up to now i am not replying any msgs on my phone. no matter the importance. and i am not picking up any calls. why should i? you guys can vent your anger and frustration on me. then juz coz i am the boss i can't do any of these? that i have nowhere to vent it all out. 难道我就不能任性多一次吗？

i was pissed off during the occ last friday. and i refuse to step out of the managers' room. for what should i? juz coz i was the host? when the fucking organizer can don't plan anything well and go for an interview and the fucking next in line organizer pushed everything to me to get me to ask her to do? fuck la. you guys are like how senior! redeeming point was that after the event when i tried to make a short clip out of all the photos and sent it out. the recognition coming back was well worth all the effort.

shall stop thinking about things that pisses me off and go back to catch some sleep before starting monthend tonight. sure got more things for me to get pissed over.

tatA!

Al azhar

Sitting here at Al-Azhar at this time at a small table near the satay stall reminded me of the last time we met here and chatting for a couple of hours.

I've alwayz loved this place in many ways. Coz of the memories. The food. The routine.

So why am I sitting here alone? Coz sister impromptu asked for a meetup and so I'm here waiting. =) drinking my fav teh tarik. =)

I went to watch a movie this afternoon. As promised I will write a short review on it to tell you if it's worth watching. =)

... ...

Juz met *j for some Chinese orchestra performance by SP and I enjoyed it. Juz not the emcees though. I could do a better job! Even *j agreed! =P gonna meet her for trekking tmr and then brunch-ing and museum-ing too!

Alright! Shall stop here before sister arrives! XD

and this got me thinking of my friendships with some.

probably it's all my fault. i am in shift work and i can't accommodate to a lot of my friends. and when my schedule comes out monthly. it's even harder. and so after a while i stop trying to plan for meetups coz i'm juz so drained. and i know almost 99% of the time my friends won't be able to fit my timings. so i gave up.

looking back. izzit sad? definitely. but even if we meet up now. i don't know what i'll say anymore. coz the working has changed my stance and mindset on a lot of things. and how i look at things are no longer the same. and there doesn't seem to be any more common ground to talk about. so should i bother? i don't know. do i wanna bother? i'm not too sure either.

and then there are friends who out of the blue that suddenly meet up every month or so. no doubt these are friends that i'm not that close with. but i guess friendships can be built the same way they can be torn down?

sighz.

i miss my girls. but i guess all of them seems to have moved on juz fine without me. so why should i make myself the extra by joining in? =/

pain was still there a bit yest. on and off. but i refuse to take the medication. hrmphz. hopefully now it'll get better. i don't want the pain. =( coz the busy period is approaching soon le. from today onwards and all hell will break loose. =/

events have been lined up back to back. starting from today. mdp sessions. chit chat sessions. pds sessions. house meetings. cl meetings. cafe challenge. profit plan projections. shift certification. open doors. mccare day. lws preparations. espresso class preparation. occ preparation and actual event. cafe challenge. and all my paperwork not cleared yet. gosh.

... ...

1 year ago. this was the day. 1 year later and i still think about you sometimes. 101010. i hope you are doing fine.

and this was when i was hit with the fragility of a relationship once again.

Pain pain. Go away please. You've already scared me this afternoon. Juz go away ok? I promise I will take care of myself more and not stress myself too much. I have another event later and it has to be a success coz sister's now in hospital also.

I don't wanna go a&e again. I don't wanna be put on the drip again. I don't wanna have to do all the xrays again. I don't wanna go through the pain.

Please juz disappear ok? I promise I'll be good and go for my checkup in March next year. And I promised sister I'll go with her for our yearly checkup at Gleneagles this coming December le.

Pain pain. Please leave me alone ok? =/

this show is good. waaaaaay good. the beginning was a tad slow and draggy. but the back fights were awsome!

hugh jackman was so rugged and so cute!! XD and the story line was well thought out. the end was super touching and i almost teared lo. nice nice show. and i like atom too! and max as well! =D

interesting how a character can mould and change to another total opposite. and no. i'm not talking about anyone else. i'm talking about me.

have been meeting up with the hgw people almost every other week recently and yeah. my tastebuds are starting to get attas again. =P is that good or bad? hahaha. with them i can ba. and there's dave around. sure even more attas de.

then with ah pang's intro. i'm hooked on overtime. lll-.- going again next week to chill with my team. =) probably will take it as management dinner cost ba. let's see how it all goes. =)

aromatic starker at overtime at holland v. =P

tandoori foie gras anyone? =P

korean pork belly bbq.

escargots!! XD

drinks tasting with the hgw gang. =D

my own me-time at oriole... =)

sun with moon jap dining at wheelock..

chillout with the hgw girls at marina mandarin lounge. =)

etna italian. =)

apple and salmon salad at tcc MBS.

punjab grill again..

high society..

random pics of how attas my tastebuds are becoming. =D

then the food tasting we had today? dorothy asked us how long have we known each other and how. and we thought back. we actually started back in 2007. what a long time!! 4 years has juz flown past like this. eve has gotten married to jon. naddz and mathias are still going strong. dave's daughter is super cute. and got to know alvin in person with michelle and jieying. =) no doubt we don't meet that often and all. especially me and them coz of my sucky schedule. but recently somehow we realized that we could all hang out together and interestingly? it's always about food. GOOD FOOD. and most often than not we spent too much time laughing as well. it's never about work or personal. juz random crap. but then again. where to find makan kakis like them? adventurous yet picky. not that we always go high end places. we go local zi char too. XD

planning on another dim sum trip coz i wanted to go and the rest juz wanted to join in the fun. so waiting for a date from michelle then off we shall go! XD if not dave's gonna bring us to try cheeseburger popiah at hotel michael? *lookz damn lost* hahaha. i juz follow lo. for once when i go out with this bunch of foodies. i never have to worry about the quality of the food or whether i'd like it or not. it's a definite yes. =)

suddenly after going out with them i seemed to have much to say. =)

been spending much me-time too. so much so that *j said i was becoming a zai nu. -.- i mean i juz felt like doing things alone. being alone in my own world. doing what i want. whenever i want. call it emo. call it loner. whatever you wish. i don't care. =)

went shopping alone that day and burnt a hole in my pocket. hahaha. bought a new backpack and signed the world of sports membership to get the 20% discount on my bag and it came with a bag of goodies. then went marks and spencer for my biscuits. piglets. chips. went kino and bought 2 books and 3 mags. went dvd crazy at hmv and bought 4 dvds. ate at sun with moon. and then went oriole's for some reading and snacks. =P and then was off to the studio for drinks tasting and then back to overtime to meet sisters for drinks. and i think the people at overtime can recognize me le lo. =P

tmr or rather later will be spending more me-time at wcp rotting away. =)

this month's quite a slack month so i should make full use of it by resting at home and being a couch potato. =P

i've been like catching shows lo. variety shows late at night. e.u. painted skin. sunshine angel. junior masterchef - australia. mao xian wang. and what nots. hahaha. i wanna be a cushion!! XD

so far only 2 more dates this month. 1 with shark. chili. *y. alien for JB!! and 1 for alien's birthday!! ohohoh. and 1 for my hgw kakis. =)

maximizing my sleep these few days. and my body system has gone haywire in the sense that now i'm not sleepy. but can't wake up too early. die la. sat how to run?? =( can i permanently work closing and night shifts?? XP

i kinda missed working at this kinda time. coz i usually will hang out till early morning before getting my ass home. or will get my ass home and this is the time to maple!! XD it's been so long since i last mapled. guess there really isn't much time already ba.

bro's recruits are POP-ing soon. and then he tell me they'll add him on fb. lll-.- meaning this sister has to approve all the requests for him and it'll be flooding his inbox in my phone. -.- his ORD is next year. and i'm supposed to take leave for him lo. -.- funny lo him. sighz. for the next 4-5 years i can't leave this job le. (unless it's a much higher paying job.) reason? this sister has to pay for his uni education le. -.- ok la. actually we've discussed this some time back. and to take the burden off my parents. the 2 of us decided this sister shall pay through cpf and he'll pay me back after graduation. and this sister only knows it's ex to study this subject in this particular uni. but now this sister juz got a heart attack. $11k per year. gosh. where the hell is this sister gonna pluck the money from? i know my cpf has money la. but not to this extent what. -.- die le la. he better be thankful lo. -.- why do i have to be so nice to this freaking brother of mine ah? sighz. he better work hard and not play a fool. -.- ok. half year more to prepare my poor heart. -.-

next year. my turn to go UAP. i wanna go get that degree too. so i need to slog and manage from now till nov and make sure my results improve and i get a sp rating. THEN i get a chance of going for the UAP. and i don't need to pay. hahaha. but i have to pay for my bro. so basically if i do get it and start slogging next year. both my bro and i are gonna end up as degree students! =D although i will graduate first la. UAP degree is 2 years course. his is 4 years. bachelor ma. =) i will jiayou de. nothing to lose and everything to gain. =)

thinking back. i left school like 5 years ago and have since lost touched with my books and study ways. ok la. probably not that bad coz of bsmc. asmc. empc and rlp. and all those workshops and what nots. but good la. time to buck up and get my goals done. =)

hahaha. it's raining le. that's what mummy's telling me. so off to bed i shall be. and later shall go store to pick up my crew and then off to wcp! =)

tatA world! =)

Thoughts

That day when I was doing management schedule and looking at the dates. 10/10 struck me in the face. What was supposed to be a promise to a fairy tale story started out. Exactly 1 year ago on 10/10/10. But sadly it was not a fairy tale meant to last.

Then I watched 'friends with benefits' with the sisters. And I thought about how you would enjoy the movie.

There was the thought of how you met and know
My manager's wife. Juz coz you guys work for the same company. I was shocked at how small Singapore is becoming.

Unsure of what came over me. I went to your fb. And I saw that status change. Happy belated birthday *g. I'm glad you've found someone now. =) juz please don't treat her like how you treat me. =)

Over some kindness shown. I quarrelled with you. Or probably it's both ways. Stop being nice to me. Coz you're juz gonna make me fall even deeper. But I didn't know I affected you so much. Perhaps it's time we put a stop to it?

Was watching channel U juz now. And the makeover they did for the participants were amazing. Seriously! Like they were all so man. Then in the photos they became real ladies! =)

... ...

Maybe I should change more. Be more lady. I know my dressing has changed coz I've friends who commented on it and teased me about it. But perhaps my attitude should change too. No one would like going out with a tomboy. Of course at work is one thing. I have my store to manage and decisions to make. But out of work? I should try to become more gentle and soft spoken. Hmmmz. But that's gonna be tough.

Recently a quite a number of friends have been getting married and engaged. Cream. Line. Eileen. Mel. Sze Hua. Ray. Jac. Zheng Qiang. Esther. And some are pregnant or have given birth like Jas. Les.

And it got me thinking. When would it be my turn to find that special one and settle down? Probably not like immediately or within this year and next. Coz I'll need all my time to focus on the store to get the result I want and go for the degree scholarship that most likely will be made available again next year. But after that?

I am a bi. But that doesn't mean I will stay like this for long. And I'm not planning to.

I wanna start a family too. Get married. Have kids. Change job.

I wanna be treated like a princess too. Not that I will be demanding. But I wanna be surprised. I wanna feel wanted and needed (but not incessantly). I wanna be chased after. I wanna feel loved. I wanna feel cared for. And I wanna feel that I'm the reason for your existence. More than that. I wanna believe that you are that Prince Charming that has come for me.

A girl can sure dream can't she?

Prince Charming. I promise I'll be good till you arrive ok? =) but please. Don't make me wait too long! =)

watched this that day with my sworn sisters.

somehow everytime i watch shows like this. it made me think of you.and how you would go 'lame ah...' but this is a good show. if you are still reading this blog of mine. you should really go watch it. it's also hilarious. =)