weather forecast: tornado.

sometimes i wonder how come i can feel so much emotions within such a short period of time.

met up with the loose screws and nuts that evening for bakerzin and desserts at earle's swensons both located at vivo.


the food at bakerzin was alright. nothing fancy. nothing special. juz that the company was great as usual. the usual laughter and crappiness. =) we chose the simplest stuff to eat. mushroom soup. ceaser salad. and the 4 pastas. =)

dessert was at earle's. smoothies and maltshakes and chocolate/ice cream fondue. =) like what i mentioned. the food was reasonable. but the atmosphere was good. or maybe i juz wasn't in the mood to enjoy myself after that phone call that spoilt my whole day. =X

another random picture. that's my bro and i. he suggested wearing the caps and taking the pic. but he regretted coz i took about 7 times to get the perfect one. hahaha. =)

the above was taken at coffeebean at westmall after lover's WSQ. heng heng heng that she passed. coz the assessor was kim hwee. the worst of the lot. =X so yeah. i promised a treat and there it was. =) but lover. you really did a wonderful job yeah? so congratz on passing with flying colours!!! *hugz* i'm soooo proud of you! =)

... ...

anyway. life's moving on as usual. there's a new trainee called joy. she's a nice lady la. then we're going to have MFY and 24/7 in november.

i wanna go overseas. like really really go abroad. i'm sick and tired of staying in singapore. it's making me have bad mood swings. really extremes.

jiamin and i were alwayz talking of meeting up to catch up and all. and the time presented itself to us. but not under ordinary circumstances. but during a wake of her loved one. i kept thinking how bad that was. especially that i went alone and i knew no one there. i felt the pain. the lonliness. but it was really good to see her again albeit under such an odd situation.

i realized juz how many riders have come and left our store. especially that day when fathiin came down store after such a long absence. it was indeed heartwarming to know that he's still coming down. whether to look for other riders or like that day popped into store. and there's khai who still msges me once in a while to ask how's life. =)

at times i feel so alone. coz there's no one special to wait for me to end work. to greet me first thing in the morning and ask how's work at the end of the day. it's especially at times when i am feeling screwed up that i keep wishing for someone to be there for me. yes. i admit that i am jealous that others have that significant other to talk to every night but i don't. yet what i can do about it? that one who's there to pamper me and surprise me once in a while. but i guess i'm not stable enough to have the privilege to ask for that i guess. it's at times like these when i think back about my relationship with gerald and start wondering how he is doing. coz i keep seeing his elder bro at store never him. some memories were happy ones and there were a few that i'd rather forget. but i guess i never regretted getting together with him. as much as i don't feel anything towards the break up.

and i was awakened to my senses when i see october coming. another year has passed. and this signifies that last year was the only year i really celebrated halloween and most likely the last year that i'll ever do that. i remember the lunch at bistro delifrance. our meeting at party us. the delight in finally locating our missing cows' tails. and getting present for each other. the hand clasp and the pen. =) and the after lunch where we went holland shopping centre to pass the time, before she had to go back to school.

i can still recall the msges she sent to me. all the contents. and the dread when i deleted them from my phone as i changed a new one. i regretted letting her go. and i still do regret now. but however much i alwayz pray and wish and hope that she'll juz gimme one more chance to be friends again. i know somehow. deep down. it'll never happen again. and that's the thing i'm damn pissed about. i don't even know where i went wrong. or was it juz coz of my attachment to NUS then? or was it coz of the things i said? i blogged?

everytime juz when i feel that i have the courage to move one. some incident will occur that will make me miss her and all that we ever shared. i think back on the letters we wrote. the things we shared. the little bits and pieces of the life that i once own. and i can't seem to control all that is coming out of me. i start swinging. like on a swing that never seems to stop. every little thing i do will remind me of how life used to be. and that how many years i need to spend without her in my life. and how many more painful days before i can truly say that i have forgotten about her. about the beautiful friendship we had.

blearghz. never mind. no one will ever understand how much i miss her and how much she meant to me.

that's why i believe in holding back nowadays. especially towards people i really care for. what's the point of putting myself out for so much hurt when no one carez about how much they'll hurt me in the end? it's so not worth it all. so at times i choose to keep to myself coz i wanna be selfish and not have scars left all over my heart again.

there's people i trusted with my heart and soul but who broke all the trust i ever placed in them. i feel foolish and dumb even. for believing so much in them when all i get in return is nothing good.

and i think it's time to stop caring so much about others but myself. people sick i'll get medication and all for them. but when i'm sick. who's gonna be there to take care of me? no one. no one but myself. perhaps it's time to be selfish and more self-centered. this way no one can harm me.

i wonder why some people can't take the hint at times to see that they are getting on my nerves. it's so irritating. i juz feel like ignoring them and leaving them to wallow in their self-made pity but i can't seem to do it. hate myself for being so weak.

i wish i have the courage to ask you out one day and clear up everything.

weather forecast: chilly.

have been busy with work. playing badminton and squash. watching vcds. hence the lag of posts. =P

every other day is punctured with the lure of badminton and squash. and that's what i've been doing. and i guess it's finally good that i''m having some form of excercise besides working. should go swimming soon too. been saying that for so long but yet to be back in the pool lo. sianz.

work's alright la. nothing fantastic. but i'm going for class next month. with lydia!!! =) hahaha. my gossip partner. hee! =) besides having mama around. i love the rest of the people there. =)

am watching wei xiao pasta. and i think he qun and his bro are soooo cute. hahaha. and i love the song xiao wu gui from it. it's on replay mode right now. ha!

'la la la la la
la la la la la
这首歌要给一个人
歌声代替语言　
深情只增不减
那一刻吻她的脸
地转天旋
爱的感觉　
比樱桃更甜
双眼放送闪电　
能超越极限
让人忘了季节　
爱成了经典
为他付出所有爱怨
要你永远是我的小乌龟
我爱你　
每一天'

am going to meet the noisy bunch of screw loose people later at vivo. hahaha. gossip and laughing time again. =) hee! so looking forwarad to it lo. =)

weather forecast: rainbow after the rain.

thou shall blog about my desaru trip first before anything else. =) here goes. another picture worthy post:

yesh. me and line went to desaru for a short getaway. and when i say short. i really mean short. it's only 2 days 1 night. hahaha. but what i thought to be 2 days of lazing around turns out otherwise. =)

there we were in the boat. setting off for desaru from changi ferry terminal. the weather was holding well. and so we chose to sit in the open air top. =)


and some cam whoring to be done on the boat and the van over to pulai desaru beach resort.
and then there was the other jetty at johor. the logo of the resort that was printed on the van. and the balcony view from our room. the journey on the boat was only half an hour. and the van's 20 mins. it's even shorter than my travelling time from home to changi. my tian. =X

and there's the pool. everyone i read the reviews from were simply raving about the pool. so that was the first thing we decided to check out. and man. it was really good. lap pool. lazy pool. mini waterfall. water slides. water basketball pole. you name it. they have it. =) so we played a bit of water basketball and water soccer. don't ask me how. we just did. =) and we swam a couple of laps too. and played on the slide and in the waterfall as well. fun! we spent close to 2 hours there is think. or was it 3? =)

anyway. then it was off to out very first jet skiing by the beach. ha! the pics' with line. so i can't post up the pics. =X but well. for 2 first timers. i think i did reasonably well for the 20 mins of skiing. =) although we saw this gigantic jellyfish that freaked line out so much that she didn't wanna drive the jet ski at all. so after stepping down from the jet ski. my hands could still feel the vibration of the thing. and i only realized how scared both of us were when we got off the jet ski. we feared capsizing and falling into the jellyfish waters. ha! =) but overall. still enjoyable. =)

then there was the delicious lunch that we had. late lunch. but still good. the satay was especially tender. nothing you find in singapore lo. the rest of the dishes were the usual soup and pasta stuff that's common. but the dessert: sago with gula melaka. it was definitely better than the one at magic wok. =) i like!

and our after lunch activity was cycling. hahaha. like to burn off the fats or what. so we went. and cycled for an hour lo. =) wanted to go kart. but it was closed for the day le. sadded. =X

dinner was at a seafood restaurant. when we thought it was a kelong. like what the? and these 5 inconsiderate people made us wait for 1 hour lo. sianz. thou shall not elaborate more on it. but one of the guy was quite cute la. =P quiet kinda cute. =)

the dinner was alright la. the chilli crab was sweet. not spicy at all. the deep fried squid was crunchy. the prawns with salted egg was tasty. kangkong was good. the lemon chicken was out of this world. =) and that was what the 2 of us had. =)

day 2 started off with buffet breakfast. and as usual. which i have no idea why. i like to have rice for breakfast. damn. so unhealthy. =X but surprisingly. for the 2 big eaters. we ate a relatively small portion of food for breakfast. hmmmz.

and then we played table tennis after that. for like 2 hours or so. hahaha. was enjoyable. especially since tthe 2 of us haven't been playing the sport for like years. =) hahaha. and i think we made a fool out of ourselves too. coz we were trying to keep the ball on the table for 50 hits. hahaha. which we managed! =)

and back to eating again. this time was lunch at their jap restaurant. we had teppanyaki! so exciting! =) hahaha. the beef was a bit tough although we asked for medium. but other than that it was good. definitely something i would wanna have the next time i go back. IF i do go back at all. =)

we went body surfing after that too. but sad to say. my batteries died on me after i took the many pics of the sea and beach. so all the pics are with line again. shall remember to get from her. =) i still think that the beach's beautiful. =) and the waves reasonable for photography. =) i've always wanted to capture shots like these. and i guess i finally managed to do it. =) so i was really a happy baby then.

and body surfing was fun although a bit tiring on my tummy. coz that's where i used to control the board. but good workout. hahaha. =) and we stayed floating around for another 1 hour. =)

and i recalled how i once said that how i wish the i could write all my hurt in the sand and that the waves would wash it all away? well i did juz that. and that's one of the pics i really love. =)

after a quick shower. it was back to the pool where we juz lazed around somemore. waiting for 6pm so we can catch the transport back to the jetty. =) and i was so bored that i took some funny pics. hahaha. that was how bored i really was. =)

yepz. and that concludes my short short trip to desaru. =)

i want to blog about something else too. but i think i'm deciding against it. but i've gotten myself a guardian angel. =) hahaha. coz he's supposed to protect me from someone else. hahaha. happy! =)

weather forecast: chilly.

i finshed reading harry potter and the daethly hallows! finally! =) hahaha. chiong through it last night. hee. so i'm a bit high on the lack of sleep now. =)

hmmmz. what else is there to update? let's see. life okie. work's alright. and i juz bought my first squash racket! i'm determined to excercise and keep fit and my mind off certain things that should not be in my head in the first place.

my life's basically a routine i guess. but i routine that i enjoy going through. =) met up with many years' friend and beloved over the past 3 days. =) and i went back to ikea again for the meatballs!

but wouldn't you be surprised at what kinda memories it brings back by juz eating a simple meal of meatballs. ah well. those were the past. the glorious past that i had. =) hmmmz. i really don't know la. something's definitely messing with my head and i don't know what it is. damn.

i miss crez. at times when i meet up with the crez peepz. i miss school even more. all the fun and laughter that we shared. the tuesday and thursday mass runs. along with the thai mee siam and cabbage with carrot and potato soup on every tuesday. yummy! nothing could taste better than food that you sought after weekly juz to settle your craving.

work's life been fun in a way coz of all the riders and managers and some of the youngsters. =) like the forgetful kid. uncle aziz. uncle aiman. the ever mischevious syafiq who enjoys meddling with my counters. the botak rasid. marcus. wan. ridzuan. the ever growing with wealth fiq. adib. ridzuan. tao yan. mr deen. haizal who alwayz calls me kak (and i still feel strange at being addressed to in malay). faizal. the pretty eva who still owes me a rocher. =P and also those who have come and go. zahid. khai.

then there's jie. sis and cl. =)

and lover 1. lover 2. all the sisters. the brothers. my daughter. my son. hahaha. makes me feel old lo. =)

but then i feel loved. and cared for. it's endearing when you know that there are people out there who cares whether you're in a good mood or bad mood. who plays around and makes your shift more fun. =P

and there's my beloved. many years' friend and mummy. out of so many crez peepz. these are the 3 that still makes me feel close to. no matter how much the distance is between us all. =)

poly friends would be jovi. sha and nel. hahaha. somehow we still find time to hang out together. yesh. somtimes one or the other might be stuck at work or in camp. but we still loosen out screws together once a month and enjoy oursleves to our hearts' content. =)

not forgetting couzin who's alwayz there too. =) although we were never close before. i really thank god that i finally have a couzin to gossip with.

and there's also people i met from mac who has transferred store or resigned. like da jie whom i meet up with over a supper of ba chor mee and drinks. and line whom i seem to excercise and eat a lot with. hahaha. =)

life's really alright i reckon! =)

weather forecast: sunny with a bolt of lightning.

i don't know what's worng with me at all these days. juz came back from the trip to desaru 2 days ago with line. =) shall post the pics up later after i get some more from line. =)

i'm feeling so fan lo. and next week is coming so soon. i don't like.

sighz. i have a lot of things that i don't like these few days. sianz. =x