weather forecast: sunny but cloudy at times.

hmmmz. actually i wanna blog but there seems like nothing much to blog about. hmmmz. was reading this article in the newspaper juz now. and i guess it was quite right when it says that i am highly satisfied with my life.

the questions are as follows:
- in most ways my life is close to ideal
- the conditions of my life are excellent
- i am satisfied with my life
- so far i have got the im portant things i want in life
- if i could live my life over. i would change almost nothing

and the tallying of my scores came to a staggering 34 out of 35. my gosh. hmmmz. and the analysis was this: highly satisfied. people who are in this range love their lives and feel that things are going very well. your life is not perfect. but you feel that it is as good as life gets. furthermore. juz because you are satisfied doesn't mean you are complacent. in fact. growth and challenge might be part of the reason you are satisfies. for most people in this high-scoring range. life is enjoyable. and the major domains of life are going well - work or school. family. friends. leisure and personal development.

hahaha. how true it is. =)

was talking to lover juz now. and turns out that she has things that she's worrying about. hmmmz. sometimes i juz wish that things can be easier for her. =*.

*mental block*

think i better go sleep le. later meeting daddy for a swim before work. =P i am so running on adrenaline these days.

weather forecast: cold and with occasional hails.

hahaha. this is nutz. now is 0350h (coutesy of daddy's laptop's) and i'm still not home. hahaha. and what am i doing now? mapling. dotz dotz.

hahaha. went out with couzin earlier. to catch pirates of the caribbean and to have dinner. thought of dropping by the mac at west coast park after supper. but came to daddy's house instead for some booze. hahaha. that explains why we are still playing maple side by side at wee hours of the day.

hmmmz. i think i'm pebbling. you know like stoning? so pebbling? dotz. =P anyway. am really tired and feeling pebbly now. why?

coz i went home and watch tv yest night. till 4am. by myself. hahaha. the chinese movie 'hero'. interesting show la. juz that maybe the mental state i was in didn't help much. i slept then woke up at 9.30am to go tampines to make specs with mummy and bro. since it was my only off day this week. that's the best i can do. =X so yeah. went all the way there. made my specs. had my much-missed teppanyaki from tampines mall's basement. and yeah. it was juz as good as the first time i tried it. =)

went home and caught an hour of zzzzzs. before going out to meet couzin at cine. =) and i tried the fruit gateau from beganwan solo. the cake that was in my previous post. [edit - no such cake was found in the previous post. sorry. =)] it wasn't that fantastic lo. i didn't like the after taste of the slighty lime yet lemony of the cake. although the fruits were good and the white chocolate yummy. but the cake itself was juz so not my thing. =X

yepz. had chicken rice at selegie after the movie and beancurd with portuguese egg tart at the rochor beancurd store. and then here i am. landed up in daddy's house at like 1am. hahaha. drinking boone's - tropical while mapling. hahaha.

daddy is NUTZ. she said that she will chiong till level 30 by the end of this week. i think she's nutz. now she wants me to buy fishing rod to go fishing with her. hahaha. dotz. and she said she can't jump. why why why?!? hahaha. i think we're both nutz.

random snippets of conversation:
daddy: i love gss. gss loves me. but i got no money. *poutz*
me: *laughz*
daddy: why are you laughing? what's so funny? *givez the stoned look yet continuing playing maple*
me: *keepz quiet*
daddy: eh. so what you want for your birthday?
me: *laughz*
daddy: why you laugh again? wah. by the time i plan for you and laraine's birthday i will be 10 years older by the end of june.
me: *laughz more*

hahaha. i think we're nutz. horz daddy? =) and now we're like muttering to ourselves and answering our own questions.

me: eh. you haven't finish your drink yet lehz.
daddy: or ok. think my tummy's a bit upset now.
me: coz it was on empty stomach?
daddy: no! remember i had a very filling meal?
me: then?
daddy: but i'm feeling gassy. *pausez* no not me but my stomach's feeling gassy.
me: *laughz*

happiness is a virtue? virtue doesn't sound quite like it. hmmmz. happiness is what money can't buy. hahaha. =) and yesh. for once after so long. i'm happy. coz of someone out there! =)

nightz nightz world. need to go home and catch my lollipops le. hee! =)

[edit - daddy is laughing again. and this time is to herself. hahaha.]

weather forecast: sticky.

was so bored that i ended up playing with daddy for a while in delph. hahaha. so so so noob!!! =X

random pics of nice nice flowers. =)

weather forecast: cloudy and humid.

sometimes i wonder how come my mood can swing so fast. it's as if someone was puching the swing i'm sitting on so hard. there seems to be juz a short distance between high and low. i was blog surfing. and i came across leigh's blog. and this paragraph that she wrote left a lasting impression on me.

"Grudges, I've concluded, are manifestations of procrastination. Quite like an overdue fine or a friend you have been meaning to call for ages, grudges unknowingly weigh you down. So pay that fine and call that friend. You'll feel much better, trust me."

it set me thinking. that at times it isn't that i didn't wanna call or make the first move. how can i when it wasn't appreciated? i tried. god knows i tried. bloody hell. everytime i have to be the one who make the first move. so sick and tired of it. arrghz.

frustration is not healthy. that i know. but what is there for me to smile about when my life seemed so screwed up?

... ...

idol no. 1 came down yest. i think the conversation was somewhat hilarious. in a way. coz like what i told daughter. maybe sub-consciously i've really fallen for him. it seems like everytime he comes in. i'll juz shiver a bit. i don't know why. and i feel very happy talking to him too. or maybe it's juz the knowledge that at least he told me how he felt then before i told him my feelings. hahaha. and yet we manage to stay as friends. albeit weird kinda friends. hahaha.

... ...

but consciously. i still know what i want. or rather. who i want. the one person who would make me really happy. but it's juz not possible.

weather forecast: sunny but with some thunder over certain areas in the late afternoon.

that's exactly how i feel. good but bad tempered. =X blearghz. hmmmz. anyway. did i mentioned that i caught 200 pounds beauty that day with my friends? it was the 1st korean movie that was so good that i cried watching it. *blushez* so embarrasing. thank god i wasn't the only sniffler around. =) the actress was sooo pretty. and the guy sooo cute! AH!!!

and did i mention i'm gonna watch pirates of the caribbean too? coz got tix. =) thankz to daddy. hahaha. so i'm gonna catch it on tues with couzin when we go out again. =) so looking forward to lo! =)

and i splurged on the vcds of 'it started with a kiss'. it's a good show. although some may find it a bit draggy coz it's the life of the main characters from college to uni. but i cried like shit too. very touching. sometimes it made me yell at the actress as to why she was so dumb as to not feel the guy's feelings for her. hmmmz.

and those are the next 2 shows that i'll get. coz they are good shows too. =) hahaha. i'm nutz. watch before still wanna buy. =P

went sushi tei at raffles city after overnight that day to meet jovi for an early lunch. and man. was i impressed with the place. =) i knew of the place through ieatishootipost.blogpost.com as usual. and the recommendations wasn't bad at all. =)

that's the kinda atmosphere you can expect when you go there. =) the service could be better. but the ambience. the open kitchen. that really left a impression on me.

the chawanmushi that we ordered. it was smooth. no air bubbles at all. and i really mean 0. even jovi agreed that it was the best chawanmushi she has ever tasted. yummy. =)

that's the crab meat maki we had. i like the roe by the side. once bitten it seems to pop and disppear into thin air. i like that feeling a lot. food and gone. =)

and the assorted tempura. nothing fantastic. but then maybe i ain't a fan of tempura? hmmmz.

but the best part was the beef sukiyaki that i've read about and was dying to taste. and it didn't disappoint me at all. the beef was the streaky kind that i like. and it came not soaked in the soup. but that i cook it to the done-ness that i want. =) yummy yummy. and the beef's those kind that breaks when you hold them in your chopsticks. =) and the soup base was good. it's soy base. juz salty enough for my tastebuds. hahaha. =)

and i FINALLY got to try the dessert. nothing fantastic. but yeah. it's ice balls in the flavour of apple. orange. pineapple and grape. not bad. but cold. brrr. =P

then i suddenly feel like in the cake-y mood. hmmmz. oreo cheesecake? almond fruits top? chantilly? hmmmz. all look yummy though. think i'll get the oreo cheesecake next time i pass by a mccafe. =)

hmmmz. life right now is in a bit of a whirlwind.

i didn't know that juz a short msg dropped across the ocean could impact someone so much. karin dear. thankz for making my day. =)

... ...

work's alright. no mama to bug me. met up with daddy that day to k. =) then with lover to have subway. and then with da jie for mos. all within the same day. daddy. thankz for accompanying me the whole day yeah. =) hmmmz. i think my life is somewhat complicated? by the msges that's keeping me on my toes. i don't know what to say either. hmmmz. i still miss *her. maybe not as much as before since time since to have made things seem blurry. and perhaps coz due to the fact that i've tried to distract myself with other people and things. haiz.

pics pics and more pics! ha! =)

there's daddy and i. we were killed by that stoopid iron hog lo. who ask us so noob?!? in delph's pig's beach. but quite cute eh? =P

and then i was bored. so i took pic of myself stoning. hahaha. need to practice self pic le. otherwise really will fail lo. =)

and that's my bro again. i was really bored that night when blogger was down. what the ****. made me so upset that i couldn't blog.

yesh. that's couzin and me. he let me tried a self pic. hahaha. using his camera. and it came out like that. damn it. i really need practise. =X

was bored AGAIN. time passed so slowly today lo. sianz. =X

and there's me with the shrek ears. i think it's quite cute you know. coz it's GREEN! =P it's for charity la. for the ronald mcdonald family room in kk hospital for the hospitalized kids' parents. it's S$2 per piece. so we have to 'wear' our support. =)

and an intro to the riders. (at least some of them.) from left to right: adib. reduan. frankie. (i think so la.) hahaha. but confirm the centre one's wan's. coz of the number. =)

and that's reduan with the shrek ears. can't believe he wore it out to send orders the whole day lo. even when it was raining. and he refuse to let anyone pull the ears. hahaha.

that's aziz i and ns boy aka fathiin. hahaha. lover gave me the pic. =)

and there's madi with fathiin again. i have no idea what they are trying to prove. so yeah. =) *shrugz*

sya'fiq the chocolate cake guy with his green helmet. =) i loooove his helmet. coz it's GREEN! =) and no. i did not put the words there. lover did. hahaha. =)

and there's the group of us with the ears. the top 3 girls from left to right: me. nana. auntie ann. the guys also from left to right: rasid. shah. adib. khai. =) hahaha. we're having fun lo. =)

more fun with the ears! =) too bad jie's not around... =X she's at a meeting with albert. =X

and i joined in the fun of writing love letters and pasting them all over the back of the ice cream machine. =) hee. coz ria was runner that day ma. and dini was in kitchen. kanglin at counter. daddy and i went to be extras. hahaha. my off day ma. so was spent with daddy! =) at store. =)

that's my lover. she so shy to take pic lo. hahaha. like real. =P

that's my lover's lover. so together we are a THREESOME! ha! i'm getting high la. =) pardon me for that please. =P

and my 2 lovers together. =) kanglin and dini. =)

... ...

hahaha. finally blogger is working lo. i couldn't post at all that few weeks lo. and i had so much to say. =X hmmmz. but now nothing le lehz. coz i wrote it all out le. =) for my private viewing. =)

... ...

so exciting! i'm going out with daddy tmr to k! =) hahaha. then meet lover for subway with daddy. and then there's da jie for more food! =) then back to store to meet brother aka sister to go through some stuff. =) hee! so so so fun! =)

then next month off to genting with daddy and mummy and grandmummy. =) hahaha. yeah! by then i'll be of legal age to step in le! horz daddy?!? =) so excited! i really need a trip out of singapore lo.

... ...

and i got my 2nd birthday gift yest. from my nice nice bro. hahaha. i told him to give me S$10 cash and he did! can't belive it lo. =) coz perhaps i'm a nice sis to him. *bhb* =P the 1st was from daddy and mummy. =) that nice starry watch that had wan singing a song to it... ha! =)

... ...

i seem to be having a very wrong sounding conversation with someone. i wouder where it will all lead to. thank god for my off day tmr. =)

gotta go. go sleep and finish the conversation with that someone. =P

lollipop dreamz to all! =)

= edit: due to lost post. =X =

random mumblings.

hmmmz. i changed my font size coz i was practically squinting juz proof reading my own posts. tian. that previous font muz be for ants to read. hmmmz.

... ...

was on the way home juz now and i was juz randomly sorting out my thoughts. was thinking about things that made me happy. =) and i realized i really love surprises yet i could only 2 in recent months that really made me happy. like the princess stamps for one. and the chijmes for the other.

i did not say i wanted either. i juz mentioned it without noticing. and i got what i wanted. =)

... ...

need not wake up at 7 later. so can sleep more ba. *mized feelings*

... ...

reading through my previous posts. and i realized how much i had been through. how much i've grown from it all.

and then i remembered what couzin said suddenly. that whenever you wish for something. the thing won't come true. so should i still keep on wishing that she was back in my life? but when you wish for something it won't come true lehz? shouldn't it come true all the more?

it happened like 6 months ago. *pausez* 6 mpnths?!? that's like so long ago! *unpausez* 6 months without seeing or talking to her. and i guess in a way we're never gonna talk to each other again ba. what i don't understand was that why coz of such a small misunderstanding it made matters so much worse. i really really don't get it.

i really miss her. at the beginning i tried hating her. for hurting me. for leacing me alone. but after the initial period. i juz couldn't continue trying to hate her. i mean. who was i trying to kid? she wasn't someone i could hate easily. and the good old times juz pop up in m mind at the weirdest time of the day. i could be working and i could smile to myself coz of the things we did together. or sleeping and suddenly waking up juz coz i thought of her and wonder how she is doing now.

even at times now she juz pops into my thoughts without any warning. simply none. i may have moved on from then. but i still miss meeting her and juz going out with her. perhaps coz she was part of my life for so long. so without her now i'm still trying to adjust to life.

will it be too much for me to ask me to be friends again? can someone please tell me?

... ...

and it's so seemigly ridiculous that when i'm in a relationship. i can't wait to get out of it. yet when i'm out of one i want to have one

someone there 24/7 for me. someone who will surprise me with all the little little things. someone there to love and pamper me. yet not possesive. i don't wanna get into a relationship juz to lose all my friends again in the end. someone who will understand that since i'm working shift work. it's not gonna be easy on us.

the idea of receiving flowers (the logical side of me thinks that it's impractical. but from the romantic side would give anything to receive flowers from that someone. =P) and then going somewhere nice to chill for a while. and then to send me home no matter what time it is. is very appealing. or maybe i've read too much books??? ha! =)

... ...

it doesn't take much to make me happy. really really. princess stamps and shijmes aren't like the most expensive things in the world agter all. it's juz the surprise of it all that made me so happy.

... ...

the birthday present that i really wanna have? to be friends with her again. that's all i really want.

a change in life?


i think i'm nuts. but perhaps i am.

i did catch music and lyrics sometime back. like early last month? or was it last last month? hahaha. i can't recall it myself. but caught it with couzin. =) arty farty film. but i guess the film i'm looking forward to now is:

anyone? =) i caught the first 2. i'm not going to miss out on this one!

yeah. but maybe like what i said. maybe it's time for a new environment. muz have the preparation. xin li jun bei ba. come june i'll know how it all goes.

time to: pluck out all emotional roots. start afresh. =) hopefully i can live without the people i care about the most.

booie!

hmmmz. updates would be kept simple. i went for the play. hahaha. 1st play ever man! =) interesting to see how the actors and actresses can present so much to the audience in like 10 mins. hmmmz. i somehow don't think 'present' is the word to use here. hmmmz. but yeah. there was this play called '4 seconds'. man was it good!

imagine 2 guys juz before a car crash. they only have 4 seconds to say things to each other. imagine that. 4 seconds. what the hell can you say in 4 seconds? but surprisingly. within the 4 seconds. it seemed to last quite long. 10 mins? =) i mean that's the length of the play what.

but during the entire short play. it seemed to tell the life story of one of the guy. and so happens that the other in the car with him was his life partner. meaning he's gay. hmmmz. i wasn't expecting things to be so open in plays. but i guess this juz shows how much i know about plays. =) it talked about how much he wanted to say he loved his guy. and it went through the process of showing us his life story.

moral of the story was simple enough to catch. at least for me. i mean. yeah. you guys should know what i mean. =) loving someone isn't that easy. especially if that someone is of the same sex as you. (which in singapore is frowned upon. but there's this hot debate about some homosexuality law going on. but ah well.) and as the guys were both lispers. they were kinda outcasted in today's society as well. the taunts. the jeers. and how much courage was needed for them to stand up and face them all bravely. =)

yepz. shall do a quick one here for the dinner i had with couzin at basil alcove at fortune centre along middle road. hahaha. my pics may be somewhat off coz i took it with my phone. dearest couzin haven't send me the nice nice pics yet ma. =) but should thank him. he spent 3 hours to research on the place. so that we can have a yummy yummy dinner. and boy. it was fantastic! =)

the ambience is ok. (but definitely not for those who can't live without the air con. =) it's alfresco dining ma.) the music is good. the service could somewhat be better. but the food. oh man. the food simply meltz... ...

that's the appletizer that i had. sparkling juice to go with western food. =)

the sauted shittake mushrooms. the spoon in the middle's the sauce. it tasted a bit of wine and vinegar? but all the same. good. =) the mushrooms are juz nice. not too soft. but not chewy at all. it juz flows down your throat. =)

the mussels. hmmmz. this was one dish i was kinda afraid of. coz i fear the smell of mussels although i love the chewy texture of it all. =P the smell was slightly there. especially in the sauce. it's those kinda fresh sea salty taste. the capsicums sisn't do much to cover up the smell. or perhaps i don't take capsicums so it doesn't the cover the smell of the sea up? hmmmz. =)

and now... ... my favourite part of the dinner. main course!!! that's the lamb rack which i had. one word. FANTALICIOUS! the yellowish thing which the lamb was resting on was mashed potato. but imagine dices of potatoes in the mashed potatoes. the texture was there. =) and the mashed potato was mixed together with quite an amount of milk. (as according to couzin and my taste buds.) coz it was milky. creamy. smooth. WHOA! =P *smackz lipz* i took a medium cooked lamb. but it wasn't bloody at all. seemed more like medium well to me. but the meat of the lamb itself!!! melts in your mouth. mmm-mmmz. the fats was like in between the meat. so when you cut and pop one into your mouth. heaven. =) maybe it was my 1st time eating a lamb rack. but it was defintely good. make that very very good. =)

that's my couzin's bbq pork ribs. that's their large size. =) i took a bite out of it. and it was good too. hahaha. =) although i would still recommend the lamb rack more. =) oh. i forgot about the tomatoes. see the tomatoes? the dices of it? it's spicy. don't ask me why. =) it juz is. but it does brings out the taste of the meat lo. refreshing would be the word i would choose. =) the pork's nowhere near cartel's. it was waaaaay better. it's tender and better marinated lo. and it's juz good too. =)

the price of dinner was very reasonable. S$50.90 for all. (my couzin had a drink too.) and the website he got the info from. http://www.ieatishootipost.blogspot.com/. very good blog. =)

that's a random pic of the national museum at night. =) couzin and i went over after dinner. before dessert. good food muz be given time to digest one ma. =) pretty picture. =)

... ...

and rewind to yesterday. i spent like a bomb?!? at kino. dotz. imagine that. S$100 on books. 5 books. i guess i really love books that much eh? hmmmz. my bro spent like S$65 on 4 books. and another was using the borders' gift card. so 5 books for him too. =) yesh. i spent the whole day book hunting. from borders to kino. and man. borders has 0 books that i want. i mean literally 0. it was that bad. kino was heaven. i've still got 3 other books i wanna get. *hintz* =)

had fish and co too. my bro's 1st time. hahaha. everytime i bring him around to eat. he'll grow fat too! =) but nahz. he can't. =) he's juz a tad fatter than me. =) (see above pic of him sharing a late night supper with me.) heng he doesn't need to pay for the food. otherwise he'll be really really broke at the rate we're going. =) then went to bukit panjang plaza and I GOT THE BAG!!! so so so happy!!! =) hee. and bought my bro one too. it's the long-ish kind. =) (see below.) i am a nice sister. hahaha. =) my bro's one's cool. with metal studs and all. =) waaay cool. =) i like. told him i'll borrow and use it if i feel like it. hahaha.

and i realized that after the book spree with daddy and yanping that time? and whatever nots here and there. i still have like 12 books unread. and in the middle of 5 books. hahaha. my tian. and i still want more!!! =) more more more books from kino!!! =)

hahaha. think i'm really nutz. =)

was arranging my bookcase that i got from ikea 3 months ago. like finally! and i realized i have like tons of books. as in really storybooks kinda books. =) i've got the series of sweet dreams. sweet valley twins. nancy drew. hardy boys. secret seven. famous five. my lit texts. all those enid blyton books. my current collection of history/general fiction. =) hahaha. i bought prozac nation and war and peace yest lo. so dotz rightz. =) but those are good books la. =)

... ...

hmmmz. work. work's alright ba. i'm still alive. have learnt to take things as they come. but guess i still can't take complaints in my stride. i actually broke down. hahaha. think i scared the shit out of tao yan. aziz i. the closers. coz i never do that in front of them. =) hahaha. aziz was like 'relax relax... don't stress...' =)

morning riders are all nutz. =) with tao yan and the terror working i'll have no peace. but they sent orders very fast lo. hardworking bunch. night riders are more slack. but if aziz w's working. everyone will be like competing to see who can send more orders. =) more dockets ma. and it makes them motivated. =)

the riders are much much better then before. but yeah. things are going on fine. they're nice people la. but once in a while muz show face otherwise they step all over me. =P talking about the riders make me happy. coz there's happy memories. and all of them are those crazy crazy people that make a lot of noise kind. so i like. i like happy voices. =)

crew wise all ok lo. like what else can i say. with my daughter and lover around. hee! somehow i still feel like a small kid. =)

... ...

i'm happy la. although bothered by certain facts at work but still happy. have yet to move on from her. but ah well. whenever i think of her it's juz happy memories now. so i guess no regrets ba. except that why was i so stupid in saying what i shouldn't have said. hmmmz.

... ...

seems like a very long post. but i guess there's juz so much that i need to say. =)