happiness is not in the experience. it's in the memories.

whoever who came up with that phrase is so right. memories are the most treasured of all. so i'm thankful that over the past few days i've been meeting up with friends. =) it's tiring at times coz it's in between my working days. but i do enjoy the meetings a lot. so much so that i don't wanna go back to work anymore. =X

... ...

haiz. anyway about work. there's so uch to rant about. coz i'm unhappy. unlucky me got a boss who grows grass in her skull. and that she has an exclusive club of people who all grows grass in their skulls too. know why i say that? coz they all have no brains.

1) i'm updating my inventory for the new promotion tomorrow on the com and the grass-geek have to come. and she had the cheek to tell me this:"yixiu. can i close this window? i need to use the com. you can do your stuff later." at 12pm she told me that. and guess what was the time i could use the com? 4pm. i finish work at 3.30pm. and i had to do my things 'later'. 4 hours later!?! do you know how pissed i was?

2) in between 12pm and 4pm. the auditor came. and so did my rush. i only had 1 counter crew. 2 kitchen cum lobby. so i was the runner cum the counter crew cum the manager. and all that grass-geek knows was to stand there and asked if i'm doing fine. i mean bloody fuck. don't you have eyes to see that i'm definitely not ok?!? i'm doing things to my best capability and not faring very well and you can still ask. can't you help? you're the boss for god's sake!

3) then you jolly well know that i'm still not very familiar with all the paperwork that i have to do. and then you ask me do this and that and this and that. never mind i don't mind. but have you ever thought about it that some of the things should be done by your ever-dearest payroll manager who's holding a second job? i doubt so. coz all you know is that your scheduler has to do all the things. and she gets for anything and everything she does. payroll manager who can forget to order VERY IMPORTANT FOOD in and get away with it while the scheduler can't. even for very very very minor items. and i mean minor. what the fuck is wrong with you?

4) the riders are unhappy with the way you do things. even a fool like me can tell. why else do you think that they no show here and not at BL? treat people well and they'll be more than willing to work for you in return. treat them as they should be within the heirachry and i think you can forget anout them being able to give and take.

5) but in the first place why the heirachry? everyone should be treated equally. why the stupid dumb ass rule that managers can't eat with the crew and riders outside? it's not like we're doing anything illegal. or are we? it's so totally assoholic.

6) and so hypocritical! act like you're sooooo good when the boss is around. and totally crap when he leaves. so sick.

7) that's right. leave all the dirty work to others and juz care about covering your own ass. yes. working life is like this. but this is way overboard!

8) if an opening manager can stay till closing to finish up her work and to help out. i don't see why as a boss of the restaurant you can't do the same? you expect people to give and take. but do you? NO! NEVER! you take all you can without giving back. likewise for your club members.

i'm so sick and tired of it all. all the crap. the crowd. the sales. can i ask for a transfer? i'm really really so tired. so tired of all the grass-brained people. i wanna take mc. i wanna fall ill and never ever recover again. arrghz. can someone juz shoot me? please?!? i'm deprieved of my happiness. =X

never going to be a happy girl anymore. until you come along and make me smile.

love like you've never been hurt before. dance like no one's watching. sing like no one's listening. work like you don't need the money. live your life like it's your last day.

juz at times in my life when i feel like giving up. giving up all hope and dreams. there's that someone out there who is there to motivate and make me go on in life.

was on the phone the other night with wood block. and we were juz talking and laughing and acting like we're drunk again lo. we were juz nonsensical that night lo. like tuesdays will always be green and fridays orange. and that i'm a crab and she's the lobster. and funny parents will give birth to weird kids and so on... ... ...

it was nice to be able to juz laugh and crap about stuff. it's been so long since i did that. i think. hmmmz.

... ...

anyway. mds's starting. and so is my headache. everything's not done. not done AT ALL. and the acting-rm dons't seem to give a damn about what's going on. communication my arse. and the rm who's in vietnam doesn't seem to be bothered by the details of the mds preparation. for goodness sake. the mds starts on the 19th lo. =X okie. for those who are lost. mds = mcdonald's delivery service. and yes. unfortunately my store is doing that on the 19th. today's already the 15th lo. =X

... ...

i haven't seen my 1st idol in ages lo. online yes. but not in store. so upsetting. =X well. at least i see my 2nd idol almost everyday now. =) yeah! =) eye candy siaz. =)

... ...

my mind's in a whirl of thoughts. i'm not eloquent. and have no wish to be. i juz wish for my thoughts to be understood.

... ...

somtimes i really don't feel like living anymore. it's so tiring. you get pushed around. get bullied. get taken advantaged of. you have so many problems that you've gotta face. i'm 20. but i don't feel 20. i feel so much older. like 25 or something. there's so much weighing me down. i wanna float to the surface but i can't. i'm stuck at the bottom of the deepest ocean. and they say life's easy. where? when? it was never easy. and it's never fair. never fair to those who already went through so much hardships.

yes. we're supposed to grow and mature through the whole journey of life. but how matured muz we be? how far is the destination? will we even reach the destination in time?

but life's really short. too short for me to live my live full of regrets. my only regret till now would be my grade 8 certs that i've yet to get. someone said he'll be the motivation. but where? i question myself as to how much i can trust people nowadys. quite sad eh?

i've seen people come and go in my life. many memories made and treasured. but those who really stayed are only a handful. and then suddenly i learn things about those we left. life's really too short. trust me on this.

tell those friends you care for how much they really mean to you. coz you don't want them to die without ever knowing how much they mean to you. this may sound cliche. but it's the truth. how many of us takes others for granted. as and when we need them? how many times do we ever tell them how much they mean to us? me? i guess i could count the times on one hand. i appreciate all of you guys out there. truly i do. from the bottom of my heart. to all of you who made my life more worthwhile. thank you for being part of my growing up.

i'm afraid of losing any friends. especially those close to me in whichever point in time. i'm really afraid. i don't wanna lose any of them. never.

... ...

sometimes i do miss being in a relationship. but knowing that i can't commit anymore makes me think twice. and i'm afraid of hurting others again. once bitten twice shy. having that image that haunts me and will follow me for the rest of my life is bad enough. i don't need a second image. and i'm never gonna make the first move again. ever. i'll juz come to regret it. why should i?

i wanna feel pampered and loved. but i don't wanna commit. so how?

you know. it's so nice when you have someone whom you can talk to about anything under the sun and that person will understand. and when you've got things in common to share about. someone who's out there waiting for your call or msg to know how your day went. that feeling's juz makes my heart go all warm and fuzzy. =)

but to you. i hope you're doing fine. coz i've no idea what's going on in your life anymore. you said we'll still be friends. but i doubt that'll happen in the near future. so yeah. do take carez of yourself. and i wish you all the best.

yesh. i know i'm like totally nutz. but girls are entitled to that ain't they?

i still think hyun bin is soooo cute lo. especially with that dimple of his. too bad my idol doesn't have that. =( hahaha. other than that. he's as tall as he is. =) hee! =)

hahaha. yepz. i guess i'm somewhat in a good mood lo. i mean. i'm meeting my cousin this friday. going out this sat with mummy and kor. most likely will be seeing my da jie on thursday. then tmr work with nana. =) so yeah i'm a happy girl. although MDS is making me go nutz. =X

booie. =X

aaahhhhh! i juz think he's so cute! =) damn! =)

i still think he's waaaaayyyy cute! =)

fierce looking. but still as handsome. =)

and no matter how crazy you all think i may be. i think he's juz sooooo cute. =)

is there really gonna be a 5th dimension?

was talking to a friend yesterday night and suddenly we were on the topic of that. a 5th dimension whereby we can control time. hmmmz. and it juz made me think hard. so why would we wanna control time? if we really could. then no one would cherish their lives. coz we can turn back time anytime we want and all. hmmmz.

am really tired nowadys. yet i can't show this side of me at work. no matter how tired i may be. no matter how bad mood i may be. i'll have to be control myself.

talking about work. you know what i simply hate about customers?

when they order you around. wanting this and that. and show you their black face when you juz wanna confirm their order with them. and that they shout at you when ordering. and complain how come their food's so slow. and throw their money on the table. and worse say things without going through their brains.

i know everyone will have a bad day more than they want. but still. we're humans too. we're a fast food restaurant. not INSTANT food. if you don't appreciate your own money. throw it away by all means. INTO THE BIN. not at the people who serve you. hate them man.
=X

i love my lovely samsoon! =)

borrowed the vcds from one of aunties. then was qiong-ing it yesterday. so i slept for only 3 hours in between. =P but it was damn good lo. and zhenxian is soooo cute! =) can't stand it! ah!!! he's tall and cute and has a dimple. damnit. =P arrghz. the show's fantastic lo. but the language seems a bit harsh on the ears. =X but i cried at parts of the movie lo. either i laugh till i cry or i really was touched that i cried. =X silly me.

haiz. was catching up with my 24-hours partner cum boozie cum wood block cum negative earlier in the day. =) was so great lo. hmmmz. life's juz full of unexpected things. ups and downs. good and bad. i guess ultimately it's up to us as to how we want to lead our lives.

"love like you've never hurt before. dance like nobody's watching. sing like nobody's listening. don't live your life full of regrets."

too busy for a friend?

"One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each studenton a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list.

Before long, the entire class was smiling.

"Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much." were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose.The students were happy with themselves and one another.

That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends.

One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her.

"Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes."Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around.

Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her purse and showed her frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times, " Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists."

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be."

... ...

it's been a really long day. after one thing has finally settled. a new situation have to come roaring at us. what's the point? what are we supposed to learn from it all? or are we to learn anything at all? i hate it when people push the blame to others. TOTALLY DETEST IT.

and i hate it when i see any of the crew upset or worse cry. why should the workplace be like this? why can't everyone juz be treated equally and fairly? is that too difficult to ask for? it's nothing very much. it's juz a simple thing.

i feel so helpless at times. like all i can do is listen. i can't take any actions. coz i'm not the boss. what the f***.

haiz. but i guess the world's round after all. what goes around comes around. blearghz. =X sickening assholes. =X

i juz hope some people out there will start to grow up(FINALLY!) and start using their puny little brains. if you don't know what a brain is. it's that weird funny shape thing that looks squishy and bloody when you crack open your skull. it takes up most of the space in the head you know? yeah. that thing.

arrghz. bloody assholes.