back from my tw trip.
nt exactly enjoyable i would call it.
2 typhoons. and raining.
and emoing and getting pissed off.
getting really tired.
how to make decisions while pleasing everyone at the same time.
why cant we just not make decisions.
have the adjustment bureau make them for us.
and we just walk the path we are suppose to walk.
so much expectations put on me.
which will only lead to disappointments.
how many times do i have to undergo this.
seriously.

exams ended.
back from bangkok trip.
whats next.
haven start looking for a job yet.
haven even started on resume writing.
still procrastinating.
i know that getting a job is impt and it aint easy but i just don wanna start doing it.
it just makes me feel like i will lose all my freedom when i start work.
i just wanna give myself more time to do the things i wanna do.
yet i aint doing anything.
and so i am like seriously bored.
with nth to do everyday.
staring into space.
spending hours staring at my phone.
just listening to music.
sucks.

Super bz day today!
Am on the train travelling hm while I am typing this post on my phone,
Had ot today.
Been super long since I worked on a monday and I can really feel the diff.
It sure is more bz on mon!
Furthermore I went over to doc's place b4 work.
They came to pick me up at yio chu kang mrt b4 travelling dw to amk industrial area.
Went thr for this shop that sells like those high class chairs and tables for adults and kids.
Den we went to somewhr along upper thomson rd for lunch at some cafe.
They had like 1 for 1 promo plus the stuff thr actually taste not bad.
Just that the place doesnt seem very accessible without a car.

Anyway I am going thailand this wed!
Haven pack my luggage yet as expected.
Haven change money as well.
Procrastinating still in progress.
Lalala~

Omg! Like finally!
Tmr is my last paper and I would have officially graduated!!
Cant wait!
But I do have to admit I haven been putting in my best effort for this yr's papers.
And that is the reason why I tink I would fail one of my papers.
And hopfully I would pass tmr paper if not that would mean failing 2 papers and dropping a class for my honors.

Anyway I haven decided wat I want to do after I grad.
Maybe a grad trip?
Or maybe spend a few mnths staying in tw with bro to chillax first.
Wanted to go on a cruise trip as well. Maybe.
Watch tons of movies.
Or just simply nua at home.
Seeing the many photos of my frens on their overseas trip makes me want to travel as well.
But yeah haven got the money. :(
Don feel like starting work any time soon because I feel that once I start working I wont hv time for myself anymore.
And tat sucks.

Oh well finish tmr paper den say lah.
Gd luck to me :)

its already 12 days into 2013!

"i resigned alrdy liao."

going to lose another colleague again.
i have always enjoyed working with aunty cindy.
she is always so bubbly and nice.
i can count on her to back me up when there's a difficult patient,
rely on her to help me out when its busy,
leave it to her to do the ipls and ecgs.
shes good in her social skills too.
seem to be able to chat with anybody.
and i can just leave it to her to deal with the dialect speaking elderly patients.
she may be abit slow with the computer,
abit too loud sometimes,
but generally shes someone great to work with.
she will be chattering away at work,
sometimes complaining abt stuffs,
sometimes telling me abt her son or husband.
we nvr once have an awkward moment at work.
i know she wasnt very happy working with the other colleague.
and she will complain to me abt wat that other colleague did.
sometimes she will tell me how tired it is to keep travelling back and forth from work and home.
but it wasnt something big enough to trigger a resignation.
not until recently.
the doctor told me about his side of the story last friday,
base on my understanding of aunty cindy,
it should just be a case of miscommunication.
but i didnt see aunty cindy until today to hear her side of the story.
and by then it was too late.
she had already tender her letter of resignation.
both parties understood that it was a miscommunication.
and the issue should have been resolved then and there.
but yet things that the doctor's wife said after the whole issue,
made aunty cindy upset and she wanted to leave.
i can uds the reasons for her wanting to leave,
but i didnt want her to leave so unhappily.
i tried to make things better,
explained doctor's side of the story to her again,
come up with reasons as to why the doctor's wife said those words,
that those words werent really meant for her.
but i am nt sure if she really felt better.
i could see things were awkward between her and the doctor.
5 more weeks and she would be gone.
thats the amount of time the doctor have to find a new staff.
i am just sad to see her go.
i dont know if i can ever find another colleague anywhr else that is as nice as her.
but i hope she will be happy wherever she might go after she leaves.

on a side note,
please take care and get well soon ok?
no thks to cheryangfong you are sick too.

"he decided to be entirely out of my life."

why can't all relationships end nicely? (I am still attached, thk you very much.)
is it very selfish if we still want to be friends with our ex?
afterall its fate that brings the two of you tgt.
it started out all sweet and loving.
but as the days go by, the quarrels started.
disagreements.
miscommunication.
misunderstandings.
nothing was sorted out.
lack of communication.
no communication.
and eventually one party gets real tired and decided that its over.
"lets just be friends."
"ok."
but you nvr see your "friend" again.
you tried to contact your "friend" but to no avail.
your "friend" started to avoid you.
and you got all guilty and upset and regret and wished that time could be reversed,
and that things could return to what it once was.
back to the sweet and loving days.
or even just back to real friends would be good enough.
but things just doesn't go your way.
and your heart really hurts.
life was like normal in the day.
but at night you cry yourself to sleep.
any news of your ex would get your heart racing.
seeing your ex from afar, the ache in your heart comes back, and you feel like tearing again.
when you are alone, the heartache you felt makes you unable to concentrate on anything,
and you just feel like crying.
anything that reminds you of your ex would leave you crying.
thats just how weak we are.
but we have friends.
friends who care.
don't cry alone.
we will cry with you. cry for you.
that's wat friends are for.