Final Lap of 2012

30th Dec 2012 - Today is the last second day of 2012. Last week was a tough week with a major career decision, it was concluded well and I am so looking forward to a better and more challenging 2013 ahead! :) I am very grateful for the conclusion and guidance from family and friends, I have learned to fight for what I want in life and never give up in anything we do. 

This year is indeed eventful, literally "eventful" as they was plenty of wedding dinners, baby showers and happy events among my family and friends due to the Dragon year. It is a major year for me personally as I have set several things on my wishlist before I hit 30. The cruel fact is that I have failed to accomplish anyone of them..Haha...quite a failure but I am no where near to what I want to accomplish by now. Will work harder for my wishlists in the year to come and hopefully can also settle down soon (even though it doesn't really matter now since I have already exceeded my timeline). Though I feel quite "shitty" for not able to accomplish what I have set for myself this year, I guess that's life and everyone will have their limitations. Gonna stay positive and fight harder for the new year!

Looking back this year, life is rather hectic coz of my studies, completed 5 modules this year and one more left for 2013, really quite a "memorable" year full of juggling sch and work. I'm blessed to have my bf who went thru all these "shit" with me, rushing to class, assignment and panicked for exams...Counting my blessings! Thank you my dear. I'm looking forward to my last module exam in April and no more exams  for my studies, and focus on working on my dissertation for the next 6 mths for graduation next year. Many said that I will not get used to life without sch, I doubt so coz really not exactly fun to do it part time and burning precious weekends on assignments and prepare exams. Gosh...I need to have more enjoyment in life than this man! :P Finally can become a normal person again..Yippie!

My lovely cutie niece was also born this year in July, she's indeed a bundle of joy to my family, especially to my mum and sis. A superbly well-doted baby..but she's really a smart girl and always enjoy playing with her. Haha..my phone album is full of her photos instead of anyone else, as if she's my daughter. :P Anyway, I hope she will grow up healthily and smarter everyday in the new year. Hopefully, sleep longer in the nights so that mum and sis can have better quality sleep at night. 

This is not a reflection post as I have not accomplish much this year, plus instead of slimming down, I have gained 10kg this year. Haizz....really need to start exercising before I cannot fit into any of my clothes. Must kick off my lazy habit of avoiding to exercise and eating unhealthy food! Hope that 2013 will be a better year for my family, bf and myself, blessed with good health and prosperity (as in progressions in career for most of us). :) Jia you, Stareo!!!

Tired..Tired..Tired...

We are already in the last 2 months of 2012...I seriously cannot recall how did I spend the last 10 months! Time really flies and I have only one word to describe my feeling now...TIRED! Haha..nothing new especially to my bf and closer friends who know me well. I am in my last second module on Adv. Leadership and I think this module is totally crappy coz of the lecturer who has no experience teaching a MBA course. Frankly, I really think its a waste of time and of course hard earn money for this module. But...with the objective to graduate earlier, I don't have a choice. Haiz...Torturing and please grant me energy to get thru this super slow and waste time module.

Recently find my job life really ultimate terrible....I am doing things for the sake of doing things and no longer understand why I am still in this job after 2 years plus. Tried sending many job applications but not even intereview granted, what's wrong? Is it because p*blic svc work experience is really worthless and dampen my market value??? I really wonder....or is it my resume too lousy?? Or the economy is really bad now??? Seriously have no slightest idea of the reason..

Constanly rushing at work and sch make me really drain...no mood to do things or excercise except eat and spend time with bf. Having difficult to even find time to sleep for decent 8hrs, wonder what have I done to my life? Haha..contradiction to my motivation to pursue my MBA. Must buck up and finish up this last lap...

Since Oct, Mum has been staying with sis to take care of my little niece as sis has gone back to work...Life without mum is overly quiet and I realise I hate to live alone. Haha..or rather I cannot stand living alone and got to take care of every single thing include watering the plant and ensuring windows are closed before going out. Yes..I am THAT impatient and I love having some noise and human breathing at home. I don't blame mum for this decision as I know sis needs her help for the little cutie so that she can rest her mind to go back to work. Since I am already a grown up and can take care of myself, I should learn to be independent and enjoy the lonely life. Haha..I will try. :P

All right..short update. Time to hit the sack. Good night everyone.

Last Quarter of 2012

Awaken by the thought that its 1st Oct 2012 today..Even Children's Day is no longer 1st Oct but first friday of October every year now. That's how things are moving around me...even a festival can just change. The only constant is really CHANGE.

We are already in the last quarter of 2012 and started to wonder what have I achieve this year. Ridiculously nothing impressive at work but certainly a milestone to be half way through my MBA course. Looking back, this one year in the course was never easy..been through many scary exams again and mad rushing to go for class and assignment deadlines. GOSH....fortunately, I have my lovely bf, MP, who have been with me relentlessly, fetching me almost everyday and going through lessons together. Thanks dear. :)

Coincidentally, I had a good chat with MP's mum tonight and realised how a woman can be so strong regardless of many challenges. She has been through so much in life, including fighting with cancer when MP was only a toddler. Then I recalled how my mum has been a strong woman all her life. Salute to the mummies! Now that I see how my sis sacifice for adorable niece - Theresa, I guess all woman will become stronger after birth. Surrounded by mentally strong women, I must remind myself to be strong and face challenges with a positive mindset. I am sure things will get better if we could learn to see things in different angle and stay positive in life.

Recent life hasn't been great, I cannot find any sense of satisfaction in my current job and almost need to drag myself to work everyday. I guess its really time for me to find a marketing job which I enjoy doing. As I have reached my 30s..Yes I have turned 30 this year, I suddenly feel that I need to reorganise my life to be more meaningful. How? I don't know...Perhaps I am really a lost sheep now and losing the jest to drive myself after pushing myself so hard for the past 30 years....Even a holiday did not help to recharge me this time, I guess I am really getting old.. :(

Feeling down...

Recently has been feeling very down....I don't know exactly why but I simply can't find energy to do anything and lose interest in everything. Plus the flu bug attack and stiff back, I'm feeling even more terrible. Really hope to cheer up and be a happier person.

I have just started my new module on Financial Mgmt, this is probably my most feared module coz of my non-finance background. However, I do look forward to learn something from this only academic exposure of my life...the lecturer is indeed a great disappointment. A great story teller with an accent which I don't quite understand...One word: Struggling and I am definitely not looking forward to the next 2 weeks of intensive "story telling". Haiz....sometimes I really think its a waste of my time and money when it comes to a lousy lecturer. :(

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday, I have wished him earlier when I visited him on Wed for Qing Ming Jie. Today, I bought him a fish burger for offering as I remember Dad likes that and would be happy to have it on his bdae. I guess Dad must be very glad to know that he's going to be grandfather soon as sis is expecting a baby girl due in July. I recalled that it was one of last wishes to see both of his daughters to get married and have kids but he keep telling us to find the right man. Though he did not get to see that when he was around, I hope he knows that we are doing well. Just wanna wish my Papa Happy Birthday again...we all miss you.

Review of 1st Quarter 2012

It has been a while since my last blog entry, I have to say....TIME FLIES! We have already cleared 1st quarter of 2012 without realising. Recently hasn't been feeling happy on the whole mainly because of work. I guess its because I am doing something which I have zero interest and totally dread the procedures I have to go thru at work. Gosh...sometimes I wonder when I will ever get used to such an environment. There are so many hidden issues in my department and increasing workload, I seriously doubt how much longer I can endure in this job. It has been a 1.5 year already, though not consider as very long for many people, I have far exceeded my expected tenure in this job. Haha...that was bcoz I was almost driven crazy in my first 3 mths but I told myself to ENDURE! :P

Sometimes I wonder what's holding me back..Is it the fear that my next job's demands would not allow me to continue my MBA? Probably...but I can always tell my next employer that I am pursuing my MBA and if they take me in probably would allow me to continue right? If you ask me is there any pull factors to stay in this job, my answer will be a big NO! Frankly, some irritating colleagues, office politics, too "easy" boss without direction, no career direction and just pure brainless job scope are really quite beyond me by now.

Today, my division had announced the list of promotees and there are many unexpected candidates such as those who went for maternity leaves, 1 year away for further study, people who work here for blardy long years but not contributing much. I seriously start to think if I really want to work in such environment for MANY YEARS just to get a small promotion with a peanut pay increment. I guess the answer is quite clear, NO! Haiz.....what's more, my MBA since not sponsored by company, will not be recognised by my company and will unlikely to have any impact to my career progression here. Could anyone give me a reason why I should hang on here???

Pardon me for my very "complaining" entry....Really very tired and not looking forward to work, need to vet my frustrations to go on....How pathetic? Ha....Yes it is. :(

New Year without Resolutions

Time flies..we have come to the end of January 2012 before we knew it. CNY has passed like a wind and it was all simple this year. CNY visiting has become so routine until I was not looking forward anymore...even angpows are not attractive to me now. Signs that I am growing old? I guess so.. ;( Well...perhaps I have come to a point where comments such as "When are you getting married?", "You have grown fat!" etc really quite annoying. What's the point of meeting up with relatives once a year and received such comments? I really wonder....

I was thinking I should set myself some new year resolutions, I decided not to do it this year since I always fail to achieve what I have set for previous years. To keep things simple, I hope to be happier and be a better person. Sounds simple but definitely not easy.

Work is going to be tough this year, lots of new arrows and heavy weight work piling up, really not looking forward to it at all. Perhaps, its time to look around but seems like economics is going down. Haiz...Lost! To be a better person means I got to be a better daughter, sister, girlfriend and friend. I got to learn to be more positive and never give up. Always remember "Tough times don't last, tough person does."

To be happier, I also need to commit some time to keeping fit so that I can slim down and be more confident of myself. Its saddening to be unable to fit into some of my clothes and look fat in mirro. I really need to put some effort in diet control and excercising to keep myself at tip top condition. :)

Wishing all a happy and healthy year ahead! :D