A Lovely Song to Remember

A very romantic and meaningful song to share..by Gary Cao Ge. Got the translated lyrics in english for those who do not listen to mandarin songs.

世界唯一的妳 (The World's One and Only You)

歌手： 曹格 作曲：曹格
作詞：徐世珍/永邦

是你 第一眼我就認出來
It's you (whom) I recognised at first glance It's you (whom) I recognised at first glance

這是命運最美麗的安排
This is fate's most beautiful arrangement This is fate's most beautiful arrangement

是愛 讓你略過慢長等待
It's love (which) helped you tide over the long wait

我們只要現在相愛幸福就來
We only need to be in love now for happiness to arrive

恨我來不及參於你的過去
I hate myself for not making it in time to be part of your past

抱歉讓你等待
Sorry for making you wait

我願意付出一切交換
I'm willing to give everything to exchange

我靈魂的另一半
The other half of my soul

這個世界唯一的你是我擁有的奇績
This world's one and only you, is the miracle that I possess

對我說的一字一句 都是我們的秘密
Every word (you) spoke to me, is part of our secret

緊緊擁抱唯一的你無可救藥的堅定紧
Tightly embracing the one and only you, an uncontrollable resolute

就算世界與我為敵
Even if the world may become my enemy

我也願意 我什麼都願意
I'm willing, I'm willing to (do) anything

看開過去所有的悲哀
Having seen past all of yesterday's sorrows

都只是訓練我為妳勇敢
It's to train me to be brave for you

真愛照亮了漆黑的夜晚
True love (has) lit up the dark night sky

尋找了彼此一輩子
(We've) searched for each other our whole lives

再不分開
(Let's) not part again

恨我來不及參於你的過去
I hate myself for not making it in time to be part of your past

抱歉讓你等待
Sorry for making you wait

我願意付出一切交換
I'm willing to give everything to exchange

我靈魂的另一半
The other half of my soul

I will climb the highest mountain
I will swim the deeper sea

對我說的一字一句都是我們的秘密
Every word (you) spoke to me, is part of our secret

緊緊擁抱唯一的你 無可救藥的堅定
Tightly embracing the one and only you, an uncontrollable resolute

就算世界與我為敵
Even if the world may become my enemy

我也願意我什麼都願意
I'm willing, I'm willing to (do) anything

我願意付出一切交換
I'm willing to give everything to exchange

我靈魂的另一半
The other half of my soul

I will climb the highest mountain
I will swim the deeper sea

就算(要我)上天下地
Even if I may need to go up the heavens and down to hell

我什麼都願意為妳
I'm willing (to do) anything for you

緊緊擁抱唯一的你 無可救藥的堅定
Tightly embracing the one and only you, an uncontrollable resolute

就算世界與我為敵
Even if the world may become my enemy

我也願意 我什麼都願意
I'm willing, I'm willing to (do) anything

Busiest December

Think this is the busiest December for me since I started work...

Reasons being:
1) Company Re-organisation wef 1 Jan 2009
2) Changed Direct Boss, GM and Portfolio
3) To hit insurance personal sales target
4) To clear work before my block leaves during Xmas

Mad rush everyday at work with endless work to clear. Getting headache and insonmia...Need a break desperately. Been waiting for december to come but now...I dread this December. ;(

I have originally planned to go Bkk in Sep but travel plan was postponed due to the stupid political unstablity there. Postponed to Dec and there goes the political unrest AGAIN~! Freaking angry and disappointed coz I have to change the flight, hotels and travel insurance AGAIN. ARGHH......Irritating! After much considerations, FINALLY decided to change destination to Bali and everyone is telling me that Bali is dangerous coz of the 2 bombing incidents not long ago. Whatever lah.....NO WHERE ON EARTH is safe to travel now lor. No matter what, I WILL BE going Bali for my budget long-waited holiday!!!! Help me pray hard that there is no bombing in Bali from 21-26 Dec 08 pls.

Sidetrack abit...career path still unclear now. Wanted to quit to be full time life planner but my new bosses all dunno my portfolio and it will be very irresponsible for me to leave now. Haiz...looking at the groomy economy, there are more uncertainties about making financial planning my rice bowl. Dilemma again.....always dilemma..Sickening. :(

Pardon me for my full of complaints entry...I need to vent my frustration somewhere afterall. Haha :P

Things aren't always what they seem

I have read this meaningful story from one of my friend's blog. I think we should learn to look at things at a different perspective in life. Some things are just not what they seem to be...take a step back and relook at the situation. It helps to take a deep breathe and think again...it may not be as bad as you thought afterall, ya? :)

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead, the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night, the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had, the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning, the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it." "Then last night as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem." Sometimes, that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way it seems they should.

Larry & Evelyn Wedding - 9 Nov 08

About 2 weeks ago, I had my first experience being the "sister" for my first closest gf's wedding on 9 Nov 08. It was really an eye opener for me because I have never imagine how much preparation work has to be done for a wedding! Actually being a sister is not a simple task, we have to meet to discuss on the gate crash programme, decide on the dressing for day and night, duties distribution etc. It was a tiring day but everyone of us enjoyed it thoroughly~

We met at 6am at the bride's place to prepare for the gate crash props and hiding of questions in the block...and waited till 8 plus for the groom to recieve the bride from the parents...Lots of customary procedures which I dun think I can remember now. Haha..:P After that, we set off to outdoor photoshoot then went to groom's place again. After all the running around, we finally set our steps at the hotel where the wedding dinner was held...washed up and get ready with make-up and hairdo. So at the end of the day..still no resting time! Gosh~~~ Hey..I am not a pampered girl but I barely slept for 1 hour before setting off in the morning coz I was doing some test calls for my job. ALMOST died of sleep deficiency! :(

In the evening, we went down for the solemnization at the poolside of the hotel followed by the dinner at the ballroom….All in all..I think it is good to have more sisters and brothers but must get responsible bunch of people for a perfect wedding man! Hehe..this time round, the groom was lucky that he got very good brothers who helped him to plan and execute the whole wedding very well. It was a definitely an enjoyable experience with the 5 other sisters, namely Ruiqing, Meiling, Chunling, Jesslyn and Estella.

Here are some pictures to share…but not many on the events coz mainly taken by the photographer and I have yet to see the pictures. Time to get myself a digital camera before I missed out all the memorable moments in my life!

NTU 12 Hall Sisters!

Gate crash materials for the brothers

Outdoor shoot with the pinky sisters!

The pretty sisters at the dinner

Last but not least, wishing Mr and Mrs Seow will have a blissful marriage and live happily ever after... :)

Halloween D&D

Last Friday was my company's dinner and dance . The theme was Halloween and it the actual Halloween nite too. At first I thought it takes quite alot of effort to doll up to the theme coz dracula, witches, angels, etc needs special costumes ah. So my team of colleagues decided to be simple and just wear some props like witch hat, magic wand, devils horns etc..nothing spectacular. To my surprise, many people really very "onz" and dressed till super scary lor...very bloody and scary lah. Too bad I did not have a chance to take pictures of those "scary" colleagues coz I reached quite late and the dinner started liao.

Here are some photos taken at the dinner:

With the CS babes

With the sales babes

Me and Camelia

Me and Apple

With the KM team

Saturday was an eventful day, morning went to Geylang East Home for the Aged to do volunteering work. I don't do voluntering work very often but I think its good to offer some help and bring some joy to the less fortunate people around us. I went with a group of friends and my bf, we sang songs and played games with the old folks there, quite fun but the weather was very hot. Hehe.. I think we need to brush up our hokkien to communicate with the old folks coz it seems like most of them dun really understand mandarin.

At night, we went to dinner and St James with the jiemeis for Li Li's wedding for her Hen's Nite. The jiemei are Qing, Meiling, Chunling, Jin Ping, Estella and me. It was quite fun although I was very tired after running a few places on the same day. Joyce came to join us at abt 12 mid nite and we had a St James "excursion"..touring all the differnt dance room because some of us did not went to other themes at St James. Hehe... The bride-to-be has really good drinking capacity..after drinking a few tequila pop and beers still not high enough. The funny thing was everyone was very sober so not very happening lah. Most importantly is the bride-to-be, Li Li enjoyed herself and we will see the pretty bride next Sunday for her BIG day!

Many Updates....

It has been so~~~~long since I updated my blog again. Going to update a few things, do bear with me, ya?

On the personal level, I have been spending more time for myself because I realised quality is more important. Life is really too short…and I don’t want to regret if I just leave this world suddenly. Hey..this is not a pessimistic thought ok? Learn to treasure your loved ones around you! Though I am still juggling with family, bf, friends and 2 jobs, I am trying to spend more time with the my loved ones instead of fully devoted to my work. Feeling happier and definitely healthier…but don’t why still feeling tired all the time. Maybe coz my sleeping hour is really short…average of 5 or 6 hours during weekdays. No wonder my panda eyes are not recovering! Haiz… :(

Next thing…why are there so many people getting married this year huh??? I have received like 8 wedding invitations for Oct to Dec this year. Gosh….fainting soon!!! Headache for ang pow and what to wear to wedding dinner sia…For those planning to get married soon, pls pre-empt abit can? Need to allocate budget mah. *Aside to Joyce, you must have a lot of gan3 chu4 for this right? Hehe…

Ok..I can’t possibly update everything now coz its pass midnight now! Let must just highlight a few major events with some illustrations:

1. Singapore GP Night Race

Singapore has successful held the first F1 night race from 26-28 Sep 08 in our CBD area. Did not get the chance to go to the event to witness the race this year but I have kind of participated in F1 as I have done a VF McLaren Mercedes roadshow and PR event with Lewis Hamilton. He is a very friendly guy though he is the top race in the F1 race this year. I must say that I am never a F1 fan but I think I may consider going to site for next year’s F1 race.

Cool Hamilton in person

Watched the live race on channel 5 and witnessed the “dramatic” events during the race. The most memorable one was the event where Ferrari team failed to pull out the fuel pipe from Massa’s car and caused him to drop from first to last position in the Singapore GP. Fernando Alonso from Renault won the race in the end…quite unexpected but he has done well indeed. Hamilton got the third position in the Singapore GP..

Latest update…Alonso has claimed his second successive victory by winning an incident-packed Japanese Grand Prix. The last 2 races will be in China and Brazil.

2. Lehman Brothers Holdings, AIG and Merrill Lynch in Trouble

15-16 Sep 08 – AIG fell 34 percent in New York trading after the insurer's credit ratings were cut, threatening efforts to raise funds to keep the company afloat and roiling global financial markets. The downgrade of AIG is the latest tremor to shake the global financial industry, less than a day after Lehman Brothers went bankrupt and Merrill Lynch sold itself to Bank of America.

This has more of less affected the insurance industry as policyholders rushed to AIA to surrender their endownment and life plans every day. There are fear that AIA will be dragged down by their mother company AIG in USA. For those who are still worried now, please have some faith in MAS as they have ensure that all insurance company in Singapore has sufficient funding to support all the policies in the event that the insurance company is facing financial problem.

3. A-Mei Concert

Been to A-Mei concert with my bf on 4 Oct at Singapore Indoor Stadium, the concert was SUPERB!!! A-Mei has very powerful voice and her stage appeal is BEST! The concert started at 8.30pm and ended at 11.30pm, 3 hours of power singing and dancing by sexy Ah-Mei. It was a 4 sided stage, so it took a lot of effort for her to cater to every side of the stage. I must say she has done a very good job as everyone was simple high!!! Sorry cannot post videos here as it is taking too freaking long to upload.

The round stage from my "faraway cheapest" view

This is part of her Star World Tour, she has been to Singapore last year but was invited to come back again before her world tour ends due to mass requests. I must say that I am not a big fan of her though I always think her songs are really nice and emotional. She has performed most of her famous songs and other singers’ songs..very talented too as she can play guitar and dance really well. Towards the end of the concert and during encore, almost everyone stood up and dance with her. She is that influential that everyone got moved and sings her songs together, very impressive indeed! :) Both of us enjoyed ourselves, next time should buy nearer seats to feel the impact more. Hehee :)

4. Singapore Flyer

I have been to the Singapore Flyer on 12 Oct with my bf’s family to celebrate his Dad’s birthday. It was a good 30 minutes ride in the special capsule for magnificent skyline views, scenery and waterfront architecture. Hmm…the only drawback is the major construction for the Marina Bay and casino, not that appealing lor. I believe when the construction is done, the view will be even more impressive!

The Singapore Flyer building itself has some retail shops and restaurants if you decided to have lunch or dinner there. I would say it is quite a good family outing place. This is my first visit there and we went in the afternoon so the view was quite clear. Should be going for second visit during night time to see the night scene on the Singapore Flyer.

 

5. JC Class Gathering

It has been 8 years since I have graduated from JC, managed to organise a gathering with my JC classmates on 30 Sep as 1 Oct was a public holiday. Not everyone turned up of course.but the number was quite comforting, about 12 people went and we have dinner at Dian Xiao Er. I think everyone are still the same in terms of looks and personality…realised about half of our group is in banking when we are in Science stream! The guys are definitely still full of crap and jokes…added in quite a lot of fun to the gathering. We even went to Zouk after dinner as some of them rarely got "permit" to chill out late at night. Hehee :P

That’s all for now. As most of us would have read and heard..…Singapore is officially in a recession now. Understand that there will be fear and worries, but do have a positive mind and brace up! Sunshine will come after the rain!! just have to be more cost conscious and tighten our belt abit now. Jia you everyone!

Another new gadget....

Yesterday my SE K800i suddenly stopped functioning without any warning....It just failed to start up...GOSH!!! Heart broken to lost my long service phone for 2 years...:( In the end, I got to rush down to ST shop to buy my new gadget SE C902. Choosing between Nokia E71 and this model..finally decided to get this phone bcoz of the 5MP camera! Heehee....yes I know I am vain but I like to take photos mah. E71 is a great phone but cannot read chinese and camera is only 3.2MP. Anyway, I am quite happy with this phone bcoz I dun have to relearn all the steps to use it...practically same as my old SE phone.

For those who remember that I got a SE G900 few mths back..but I sold it long ago bcoz there was some technical problem and I really think the symbian OS is Sooooo slow! So I was still using the old skool K800i which was still serving me well...until yesterday! :(

Tada~~~~~ my new phone!

Here is the link to the reviews: http://asia.cnet.com/reviews/mobilephones/0,39051199,42689970p,00.htm

Just ended my 1 month roadshow of PitStop Challenge...burnt my whole month of weekends...tiring but definitely fulfilling! I am lucky to have a group of very fun temp staff and technical support...and I would say the roadshow was a great success! Now..I should focus on my insurance sales!! :)

Sister's MBA Graduation!

13 Aug '08 - I have attended my sis's MBA gradution at NTUC buliding near my old office. My sis has excel in her course and she has never failed to impress me! To be frank, she is really my idol when it comes to studying..super persistent and hardworking. I know she has been through alot to achieve her excellent grades in her course. Congratulations, sister! I am so proud of you!!! I am sure Dad will be watching your success from no matter where he is now.

I took a day off to rest, brought mum to watch "Money Not Enough 2" for the second time since I have enjoyed it very much when I watched it the first time. Super hilarious show and I think the issues addressed in the movie are very realistic. I laughed and cried through out the whole show......there are parts that are really very touching ah. After all..when are the govt going to remove all the "EPR" (actually renamed to this in order not to be too sensitive) ???? *Freaking expensive even to travel in cabs nowadays! * Also, it talks about filial piety, marriage and family issues that we should always bear in mind. 5 stars rating...catch it on DVD if you do not have time to watch in theatre.

Here are a few photos to "show off" my sis and mum:

Me, Sis and Mum!

William, Sis and Mum

Happy Me and Sis

There are many more things and photos to update coz too many things happening in my life! Haha...stay tuned! :P

Papa...I miss you....

Recently has been too busy with many things...full time work has stirred up extreme stress especially when the roadshow that I am organising is approaching. Part time insurance has not been easy too, managed to do the claim for my client also my aunt FINALLY after much difficulties as her policies were bought very recently. Nevertheless, I must say that all these efforts are definitely worth it because her family do not have to be stressed up by financial burden for her cancer treatment. I guess this is the real meaning of insurance and should also be my motivating factor to keep going.....

I have been having cracking headache and feeling tired almost like all the time...even coffee or tonic did not help, what is wrong with me? To be frank, I think I have kind of lost my focus in life...been blindly doing work and "fulfilling" my responsibilities at work. I need to make the decision to quit or stay in my job by end of this month because there are some problem if I were to stay on till end of the year...Really hate this undecisive feeling...Haiz....

Quoting from Brian Tracy:
Perhaps the greatest challenge that you will ever face in life is the conquest of fear and the development of the habit of courage. Winston Churchill once wrote, Courage is rightly considered the foremost of the virtues, for upon it, all others depend. Fear is, and always has been, the greatest enemy of mankind.

Today I have visited my aunt and she shared with me that she has met my dad's ex colleagues coincidentally. His colleagues shared that my dad has been coughing badly since 1 year ago and he was just tolerating all the pain by himself. He told his colleagues that he do not want to go to see a doctor because he don't have money. I guess he knew that his condition was bad and worried about medical fee if he were to be diagnosed with cancer... My heart sank when I heard this...my dad is so silly...sis and I would have our ways to find the money to treat him if he told us about his pain and discomfort. Now..I really hate myself for not talking to him more and find out more about his cough EARLIER. Actually he has been coughing all these years but we always thought that it was just because he was smoking all along. How ridiculous to think so right?

After hearing all the stories from his colleagues, I sudden feel very remorseful...what have I done to be a good daughter for my dad??? When he worked so hard over weekends and holidays like CNY to deliver goods, when did I ever ask him not to do it and rest at home??? What have I done when he told me that he was not feeling well in the past??? He was facing the pain and working so hard for the whole of his life...and I was only there at his last few months with us....what a failure daughter I am??? Papa..I am sorry...I should have talked to you more....cared for you more and seek treatment for you earlier....

I know it is too late to talk about all these now. I just hope that he is doing fine no matter where he is now....Papa...I miss you..your voice..your presence and your love......You will always be my beloved Papa....

My New Gadget !!!

Just got a new gadget, Sony Ericsson G900! After the long wait for the launch of this phone, I went to get it on the 2nd day of it's launch. For the features and overall performance of this phone, I think it is a value for money buy! I guess I am convinced by the online reviews. Heehee...The phone came in free blue tooth headset and 1GB M2 memory stick which are attractive to me too. All the 3 telcos are selling at similar price, I got mine from m1 at $438. Thanks to Sister, Shifu, Joyce and Wiliam for contributing to reducing my pocket hole for this as a belated bdae present.

Tada! ~~~ My new gadget!

I am totally impressed by the features of this phone, espcially the touch-flo feature similar to iphone and the handwriting recognition feature. Other features such as the 5 MP camera, Wi-Fi and PDA features are the attractions too. No complaints for this phone except for me not used to using the touch screeen and stylus. I must practise more!!

Nevertheless, I love my new gadget and gonna explore more! :) I am happyyy!!!

Mother's Day and Birthday

It has been quite a while since I updated my blog again. I have been quite busy adapting to life at home, work and spending time with family and friends.

Since the departure of Dad, our family has went through some major changes. Many things just seems to be so different...I really wonder how is doing now? In heaven? Well..just hope that he is well and free from pain now.... Mum seems to be accepting it well and things are more settled down at home.

Last 2 weekends we celebrated Mother's Day and my 26th birthday...meant to cheer mum up as well as to cheer up everyone up. This year's birthday was very different..just very different from previous year, maybe coz no Dad and no cakes for the first time. :(

Here are some photos taken from Mother's Day and my bdae dinner:

Sis, Mum and Me!

MQ, Joyce and Us!

My bdae dinner at Ding Tai Feng

My Roomie Joyce and Me

Lilies from sis for my bdae

That's all folks...more updating next time. Cheers! :)

In Remembrance of My Beloved Father

30th Apr 2008 marks the saddest day of my life. My dearest Papa passed away at 4.50pm due to lung cancer. My late father was a very mentally strong man, he fought against the last stage cancer since January this year and he has never give up at all. It was a short 3 months battle, my family and Papa have fought this illness together with love and concern. Mum has applied for long no pay leave to take care of Dad, sis and I spent more time with him and take turns to bring him for doctor appointments. Everyone in the family hates to see Dad leaves us, we have never expected him to leave us so soon even though the doctor told us that he can live up to 6 months.

Dad’s last battle started on 28th Apr 2008 where he was feeling breathless and cannot consume anything. Upon knowing that, I tried to rush home to check him and see if there was a need to call for an ambulance. In the end, I fall into a drain on the way back and injured my lower leg. It was really painful and bleeding profusely, but I got to rush home then. When I reached home, I saw Dad looking pale and gasping for air despite the oxygen support at home. I quickly call for an ambulance and send him to hospital immediately. On the ambulance, I bandaged my wounds to stop the bleeding…Did not have the time to think of my wound but hope to send Dad for treatment asap. After checking at the A&E, we were told that he was in critical condition and could leave us anytime that night. My sis and my hearts sank……speechless but we held back and arranged for his admission. We stayed back in hospital till very late, observing Dad’s condition and hoping that he will be better.

From Monday night, my family and relatives were always there at the hospital in case he is not feeling well and no one to alert the doctor. Until Wed mid night, Dad’s condition worsen and he lost his conscious…we panicked and cried through the night. Dad had given many unusual action and requests such as asking for shower, change of clothes and big actions despite his little strength left. We all sensed that something was amiss…so we asked him what does he want us to do for him. Dad requested to go home with a strong hand movement while I was holding on to him. We talked to the doctor and prepared for the worst. The doctor and nurse prepared us on his possibility to leave us anytime on the journey or at home, but we think we should just fulfill his last wish. Sis got the oxygen tank rented to provide Dad with a comfortable condition at home. We managed to get him discharged at 12.30pm, the process was quite drama but I think it was all worth it. Dad made it home even though he was still unconscious, I kept holding to his hand and tell him that he was home, hoping that he can give me a response. He responded by holding my hand..I was delighted and relieved. However, seeing him unable to talk and look at us again….. I was indeed very dishearted, but we continued to talk to him. Suddenly at about 4.15pm, Dad started to have breathing difficulty again, his breath was very irregular and the nurse told us it is a sign that he will be leaving us very soon. We cried and panicked…kept calling his name to continue breathing. Dad fought on….. At about 4.40pm, HCA doctor came and he told us that his blood pressure was dropping drastically and leaving us very soon. Everyone gathered and tell him all the last words that we want to tell him…the feeling at that point of time was something that cannot be described. At 4.50 pm, he took his last breath and left us peacefully. The struggle was finally over, it was painful but I think it was a relief of all the pain for Papa.

Papa will live in our hearts and memory forever. He will always be my beloved Papa who was intelligent, thrifty, entrepreneurial, considerate and friendly etc. Dad has never beaten or scolded me for the past 26 years, he will always take the effort to explain and advise me the right path to take. Being a traditional father, he will not show his love by telling how much he loves mum and us, but we all know through the actions that he have done for us. 爸爸，我们会永远爱和思念您。。。。

The next few days were packed with preparation for the funeral. It was held at Block 313 as there are shops under my block. The whole thing went off pretty smoothly and many of our relatives turned up to help out. Really appreciate that we have such a supportive family…else I think sis and I will probably go crazy. Special thanks to third uncle who has arranged for most of the major stuffs according to Dad’s wishes. Also, thanks to all the friends, colleagues and ex colleagues who turned up at the wake and showered me with all the concern. Thank you all.

Took a few days of leaves to stay at home to comfort mum and settle administrative stuffs, I am going back to work tomorrow. Hope there are not too many things piled up at work.

Life goes on..... Mum, sis and I must be strong and go through this change together. Jia you!

Critical Period

My dad was hospitalised to TTSH again last nite....critical condition. Doctor said that his condition is not good and could leave us anytime. :( I was quite shocked of the sudden news of how his condition has deteriorated. Can see that he is not feeling good at all....breathless and panting all the time.

Praying that miracles happens and dad will pull through this period. Jia you Papa....

Typical Work Week

Folks...it is mid week again.

JIA YOU ah!

For those having tests, exams or etc...Good Luck!

Complexity of Life

Recently has been feeling very tired and easily angry, probably because all the mad rush at work and juggling with the tension at home. The good news is my dad is discharged from hospital few days ago, it is quite stressful to think of how to take care of a patient at home as it takes a lot of patience and attention. Sadly, I am not a patient person in the first place and I do not really know how to take care of dad with due care. Luckily, my sis is able to do so simply because she has more patience and she knows what to look out for with the long working experience in hospital bah. Well…Mum has given in a lot as well, she has accepted our request for her to take 3 months of no pay leave to stay at home to take care of dad…I really hope she can do a good job as she also has her own health constraints. My mum is one person who cannot control her emotion and will break down easily. With the sick dad, stressed mum and over anxious sis, my house seems to be filled with tension! No longer a place to rest and stay away from work now…However, I still have to do my part to contribute to share the load at home.

On one hand for my full time job, the situation did not improve as I still dislike my boss a lot. Actually my job scope is not so bad, just too much work within a short timeframe for the 1 year stay in this company. The major project was launched successful in the last week of March but there bound to be hiccups after the launch. Been trying to salvage some major issues pertaining to the impact after the launch…very stressful ahhh!!!!

On the other hand, my insurance sales for last month was satisfactory though not fantastic yet. It was a busy period last month due to the new cpf ruling of the minimum sum lock up. Managed to clinch a few investment policies but I could have done more if I am more enthusiastic in asking more people. There are friends who came to me and said that they do not know that I am with Great Eastern and they have done their investment with other insurance companies. Quite a pity lor…I guess I have not been actively telling my friends that I am in insurance now. Been hoping to quit my job and do insurance full time as I really need to focus to do it better. I do not think that I can do much more if I continue to be part time. It is very difficult to think of 2 very jobs with very different job scope. Too much considerations and too little courage….it is indeed a very difficult decision to make.

Why is my life getting so complex now????? I am missing the simplicity in life.....

Speedy Recovery For Dad

It has been a week since my dad got hospitalised. Last Sunday, he was having some difficulty to breathe and we sent him to A&E by ambulance. The doctor said that he has lung infection, that's why he keep having fever on and off. Also, due to the lung cancer, his lung is almost filled with water retention. He will feel like drowning all the time as his lung does not have the capacity to pump oxygen. This is absolutely scary rite? Cannot imagine how it feels to be in his state but I can see that he was trying very hard to look like he was fine.

My sis and I will visit him everyday, trying to spend more time with him. The hospital is really a boring place...and because he is stuck to the bed due to the drain out of the lung fluid, he cant move around and its indeed very uncomfortable. There is really limited thing that we can do for him except to be around for him and talk to him. My relatives and my mum are also taking turns to visit him so that more people can talk to him and buy him some food that he likes to eat. We are very blessed to have very supportive relatives who dont mind taking the trouble to go down to hospital.

Today marks his seventh day in hospital, his condition seems to be better as most of the fluid in the lung is drained out already. We are glad to see that he is eating more and feeling better in breathing. All I ask for him now is to have a more comfortable life...with less pain and more flexibility to move around to do things that he likes.

Btw, does anyone know where can I get simple portable games e.g. brick game? I am thinking to get him something to kill his time as he is super bored in hospital and we cannot be there with him in the afternoon as we are all working. Poor Dad...hoping dad to have a speedy recovery.

Aside to myself, I am feeling tired as I got to visit my dad everday after work and get home like 10 plus or 11 plus. Pretty draining but its very cruel to leave him alone in hospital lor...must tahan abit. On work side, I am feeling very sick of my full time job, cant wait to quit and do my insurance full time. Still at the cross road to make the decision as there are too many factors pulling me back to submit the resignation. In fact, I would be able to spend more time with my dad if I am doing insurance since I have more flexibility and can cater to his needs. Haiz....when can I put all these to an end???

SPAM Partie

Last weekend I have been to this SPAM partie at St James with Xer, Jo and Meanie aka Alexis. The last time partie also with Xer and Jo...looks like they are going to be my partie gfs liao. Haha..:P Anyway, its fun to go partie once a while but its definitely tiring lor...hangover the next day sia. That night had quite a few drinks and ended up abit high and dizzy. Still conscious enough to go home myself lah...coz I know my limits mah. Just a little complain..all my gfs always look better than me in all photos...Sob sob..

Here are some photos of my partie gang:

Partie Gang!

Xer & Jo with red face EO~ :(

My pretty ex-partner Jo

Gorgeous Woman 5.0 with EO

My new happening friend Meanie..

Yup..I must emphasize, EO is not a partie girl hor. However, if she decided to go for it, she will definitely have fun! :) Work hard, play hard!

My New Baby!!!

Hey people..it has been a busy month for me. No time to do updating on my blog. Well..most people on msn would know that I am always on "busy" mode..and my busy mode is not fake one lor...REALLY busy at work. Anyway, I think it was a super unhealthy month with not enough rest, indecent dinners, late nights and of cse foul mood. Haiz..I shall stop lamenting on my blog for now.

Tada~~~!!! I have bought one of my most expensive possession of my life so far. My new baby - my dream laptop!

Yup...although I did not get my dream Fujitsu laptop from my wishlist, I am quite satisfied with this Acer Travelmate that I got for myself from the IT Show last week. For specs review, pls refer to here. My new baby is small, quite light (though can be lighter!), it has quite good performances. Being quite a techie person, I am very particular about the specs of my laptop, I hate to wait for system to boot up, system hang and slow processing power. Haha.. Yes..an impatient girl here. :P My new baby is not the latest in town because I am not ready to pay the price for the better specs ones. For me, budget is an important consideration too. Furthermore, this laptop is bought not for entertainment or fun, mainly for my GE job. It will be very helpful for me to do instant fact finding and do instant proposals for clients' considerations. Saves alot of trouble and trips with this....definitely more pro than carrying thick documents around. The best part is can sign on the spot with the signature pad if client accept the proposals! :)

Well, my new baby don't come cheap either, it costs me like $1.6k for the laptop and Win XP downgrade as GE program is not compatible with Vista yet. Hmm.....heart aching and definitely a eat bread month lor. Looking at the potential of my baby helping me to earn more money, I shall not brood over the cost for her le. Yeah! EO is happy...because I have always aspired to own a laptop myself. I am never a laptop user, now I got to learn to type on the mini keyboard fast and accurate.

More updates next time...gonna get back to work! Take care people!

Time Not Enough

Recently has been really busy doing 2 jobs, running from one office to another. Weekends burnt to meet up with friends and clients to share about insurance and investment. Very very very busy!!! In fact, I am feeling the stretch of handling 2 jobs plus unabling to spend time with family. Well, I also have 24 hrs a day, 2 hands and 1 brain, how to handle so many things at one time??? Gosh...tired physically and mentally, I have not enough time to rest and even catch a movie. Haiz....

I am thinking to quit my full time job and be a full time life planner because I think I have a lot more to learn in the field of financial planning. Its very interesting but it requires time!!! To make things worst, my full time job is giving me ultimate stress with many new projects and deadlines to meet. From morning 8.30am to 6pm endless work, not even have time to go for proper lunch. After work go GE office do proposals and meet friends means my typical day will only end at about 10pm or even later. With not enough sleep and endless work related homework, I am reaching my saturation point. :( wondering how much longer I can take it.

A difficult decision

On Tues, we have broke the news to my dad already...we told him his real condition of his cancer. It wasn't intentional as the doctor was the one who explained the condition to him though my sis and I were around. Can see that dad was quite shocked and disappointed to know that he is in the last stage lung cancer. He kept quiet...but the doctor encouraged him to do chemotherapy as he is still considered as young so should be able to take the side effects of the treatment. But we didn't want to pressurize him to make a decision that day to decide whether to take up chemotherapy as we can see that he was quite tramatised.

Can see that he is not keen to take up chemotherapy as he thinks that his body might not be able to take the strong effect of the medicine. Moreover, I guess chemo might be the most effective way to kill the cancerous cells for now, though it is super destructive to human body. Morally, I would not encourage dad to take this up because he gonna be very weak after treatment and he might not be able to do things that he want to do and I can't bear to see him suffer in short. Whatever it is, we leave this difficult decision to him since he owns his own life and he is the best person to make this decision. We just try our best to educate him on the advantage and disadvantages of doing chemotherapy. Meanwhile, trying to get him to eat healthily and do some simple exercise. Hoping that miracles really happen...

It was a boring valentine's day this year....totally boring. I spent it at home with my family...listening to some volunteer people sharing on diet and religion. Boring.... :( Aside to work, it has been a FREAKING stressful week. Endless emails, phone calls, sms and assignments at work..Cannot Take It! I am drained....and I mean very drained...can collapse anytime kind of feeling. Dun understand why is my life so sucks big time!

Basketball vs Alien

Woo...over the CNY holidays, I managed to catch 2 chinese movies on 2 consecutive days. It has been so so long that I went out with friends and chill out till late night.

First movie was Kungfu Dunk starring Jay Chou! Haha..yes my roomie's favourite. The movie plot is quite ok, I think the effects of the "qi gong" and the slam dunk a bit exaggerating but overall i rate it as 7.5/10 oranges (quoting from Jo's blog). If you are a Jay Chou fan, its a must watch coz he looks very cool and "SHUAI" (meaning handsome) in the movie...Even for a neutral person like me find that he is cute in this show! The story is very typical, not much insights but the basketball matches are COOL man...Dreaming that I can play basketball too. Haha.. :P

Next movie is CJ7 staring Stephen Chow, this movie surprised me coz I cried and I laughed. CJ7 is a fantasy tale featuring state of the art visual effects. A poor laborer father and his son lives are turned upside down when a fascinating and strange new pet enters their world. Amid the resulting comic mayhem, they ultimately learn a poignant lesson about the true nature of family and the things money can't buy. I laughed coz he is Stephen Chow and comedy is his strength in movies, there are many small details that can make people laugh off their chairs. As for the touching part, I would say that is the best part I like about this show - the family relationship between the father and son. No matter how poor the family is, they stayed honest, bonded, not complaining and striving to be a better person. I will rate this movie 8.5/1o oranges. :) A good to watch movie especially for those who do not know how to appreciate what they have now.

I think this is something that many families cannot achieve now...Family is probably one of the last thing that most people care for after their career, bf/gf, money and everything. Think about it if it is true for you? Start to love your family and show your care for them from today, don't wait till when it is too late to do anything for your family.

Well, the long waited CNY holiday is over, tuning myself to back to work mode....Sad. :(

Chinese New Year

First of all, I would like to wish all a happy and prosperous near year ahead! May the rat year brings everyone good health and wealth. I guess everyone is busy visiting relatives and friends during cny...collecting ang pow and gambling rite? Heehee....hope everyone has won some money...since i am not gambling.

This chinese new year means a lot to me and my family this year because of my Dad. Every year, my family and I will go for several places to "bai nian" but this year we cant go visit too many places coz dad is too weak and cannot stay out for too long. He needs to take medicine and rest more. Overall...quite saddening coz I see him like very in pain and cant even sit around long. Mum and sis also very worried for him...trying to make him happy and enjoy the cny. However, I know its difficult when one is not feeling well...Hoping for miracles to happen now.

After cny, I think we will find an appropriate time to break the news of his condition to him, this is to let him choose if he wants to go for chemotherapy treatment which we are not sure if it will benefit him or not. The most that it will help is to prolong his life for few more months but it will mean that he will suffer from those horrible side effects like nausea, hair drop, tired, low immunity etc. I really don't know what is best for him....I want him to be happy and suffer lesser pain for his remaining days but I cant bear to see him suffer so much for the treatment. There is no right or wrong decision here...its all dependent on my dad and his choice. Whatever it is, we will respect his decision.

Now is my headache to solve a problem at work...a mistake that I overlooked at work that I feel bad about it. Hope I can solve the problem on Monday when I am back to work. Actually I have a strong urge to quit my job and do insurance full time coz i need the flexibility of time to take care of my dad. If the treatment kicks in..we need someone to take care of him and bring him for medical appointments. All these are problems that we have yet to find a solution. Furthermore, I think now i am still quite stuck with my training at GE now...I have to save my leaves to bring dad for appts and GE trainings can be quite hectic too, I feel I should equipped myself with the skills and knowledge to be a good life planner. Dilemma...

Tiring and stressful day....

Today, my sis and I took leave to go to the hospital to discuss with the various doctors on the treatment plan for Dad. I guess it is a very tramatised day for Dad as each of the specialists came at different time of the day and we got to explain to them the condition that Dad is in now. The lead doctor explained to Dad his condition with our presence....Dad seemed to be more calm than we thought as he has more or less guess that his condition is not very optimistic. Well...sis and I were prepared to hold back our tears when doctor told him that, we don't want to affect him and make him think that we know his condition is so bad. We looked at all his scans and it is saddening to see that his cancerous cells are distributed all over his body... just don't understand why the cancer can reach to the final stage so fast without much symptoms??!!! I really really hope that miracle will happen...

We have spoken to all the specialists and we respect dad's decision to start his treatment after chinese new year which is less than 2 weeks time. I think he just want to lead a normal life and enjoy his CNY before all the painful side effects step in. The doctors explained to us what are the various options we have to control his current condition, sis and me know that all these treatments are just done to prevent further spread and growth of the cell but it is impossible to cure him... Haiz....We do not want to make the decision for Dad as we think he has the right to decide what he wants for his life though he is not aware that things are so bad now. I really dunno if we should really let him go through the painful process as he will probably feel very terrible with all the side effects on top on his current pains. Meanwhile, we will find out more about the treatments and see what is the best option for him. Finally, dad is discharged today..can see his happiness when doctor agreed to let him go home.

So far..Dad and Mum have been very brave to face this cruel fact. I know it has been very hard on sis too..she is also much braver than I thought. By and large, I think we are all trying to accept this and help dad to fight this illness as far as possible. Thanks friends who has been sms-ing me to ask me to jia you and be strong.

Heart Sank........

My dad's medical report was out this afternoon...he is diagnosed with lung cancer last stage. My heart sank when I heard this news....can't helped but to break down and cry in my office. Very paisey..then everyone wondered what happened to me. My bosses were quite nice and they ask me to take leave to go sort out the treatment and stuffs for my dad. A bit lost at this point of time...feeling drained and worried how my family can cope with this situation. Tomorrow I will go to hospital with my sister to discuss with the doctor on what treatment are there for my dad.

Really hope that my mum, sister and me will be strong to brave through this together with my dad. Though time is short....we will try to make the best of it to make him happy and let him do things that he wants to do for the days ahead. No matter how slim is the hope...we must keep everyone in the family positive and move on together.

Praying that dad will not suffer too much pain and enjoy his remaining days with us. God bless. Also bless my mum to accept this truth and be brave to see him through the tough process, hoping that mum won't fall sick because of this.

Thanks friends

Thanks everyone who has showered me with heartwarming SMSes, tagboard messages, emails and phone calls over my dad's matter. Just to list a few...MQ, Joyce Roomie, buddy Vivien, Ruiqing, Jerome, Jasmine, HL, Cerlyn, Ms Keng, Xer, SH darling, Kaiyan bro, Andew bro, Richard, Sebas, Victor and many more......Really appreciate all your concern. Also thanks my sis for being so strong to bring the family together with me despite her busy schedule. We must both jia you!

Today, Dad was supposed to be discharged!! And yes...I took urgent leave to go fetch him home. In the end, doctor came and told me that he suggests to keep dad hospitalized for another day to wait for all the reports to be out tomorrow. GOSH....I can see how disappointed Dad was and I was trying very hard to cheer him up. I know its very hard on him to stay in hospital doing nothing and really bored..got him newspapers, magazines, books and radio already...I guess those did not help much. I have been visiting him everyday to talk to him and keep him accompany coz I know he will just sleep whole day without moving. I will encourage him to walk around, go breathe some fresh air, go buy some food he wants to eat etc... Due to the ultimate boredom today, I resort to teach him how to play games on my mobile phone..Hmm....not very fun games but can keep him entertained for a while. Anyway, I guess I have wasted my half day leave today and it will be difficult to take leave again tomorrow to fetch him home. Haiz...Hope sis can do that tomorrow.

Well...I am still hopeful that the abnormal cell in the scan is not cancerous....Even it is, please dun let it spread to other organs and let it be the early stage. No matter what, hope it will still be curable. Praying hard...God please bless my dad, family and friends with good health.

Tiring week

This week has been really draining for my family both physically and mentally. On Monday, I took leave to send my dad down to TTSH A&E for health check coz he has not been feeling very well, no appetite and keep coughing for the past few weeks. After several GP consultations, the condition did not improve, so my sis and I decided to send him down to hospital for a thorough checking. The wait at TTSH was long...we waited for almost 4 hrs to get to see the doctor and he advised to get my dad admitted to the hospital. In the end...there wasnt enough wards for so many patients. Dad was resting in A&E observatory ward for 1 night till next day afternoon then he got transferred to a proper ward...quite pissed with the hospital arrangement. If there is not enough wards, then why ask people to be admitted? Can ask us to go to another hospital also what...*Pissed off*.

Anyway, Dad went through a series of tests and was on glucose drip for the first few days. He looks better now, maybe coz the drip help him to gain some energy. However, he still feels pain all over..which I guess is the critical reason why he has to stay hospitalised. The doctor told us that he suspected that my dad is suffering from Lung Cancer and 4th stage...we were quite shocked to hear this. My sis and I decided to keep it from mum as we think she might not be able to take it. Well, my thoughts is the result is not confirmed as the doctor needs to do more thorough check to see if there is cancerous cell and how badly is the spread in his body. We are just keeping our fingers crossed that the guess is wrong.... Frankly, I am expecting this day to come as my dad has been a heavy smoker and he failed to quit despite several tries. Just did not expect it to come so early...Pretty worried for his medical fees coz he did not buy any insurance and medical fees is going to be super high if he has to go through cancer treatment. Too bad I joined GE only recently, I planned to get some insurance and medical coverage for him and my mum.

Sis is definitely affected, I know this is getting too challenging to juggle with work, her Six sigma course, her MBA and family problems..*Sis Jia You k? I will be around to help. * For me, I am feel very tired running around my job, GE job and hospital. Due to my tiredness, I have been making mistakes at work and did not have the time to attend training at GE office. I know it is not a good time to quit my job to focus on GE job..but i seriously dun wish to stay in the current job anymore...Dilemma...but i know I need stable income for the medical fees. Feeling kind of helpless whenever I see dad at hospital...feeling pain and horrible. *Papa..I know you wont be reading this...but please be strong as we will be there for you always.* My sis explained to my mum about the possibility of my dad suffering from lung cancer, she was totally tramatised and could eat and sleep well...I know she just appeared to be strong but she is most worried for my dad.

This is a time where by I feel that health is the most important thing in life.. Without health, everything you have regardless or money or kinship will be gone. Everyday, when I visit my dad in hospital, I see so many patients in very pain, with respiratory pipes and equipments all around, paralyzed on bed and some not even conscious....I really don't wish to see my family or friends at be in this condition. Even though it is a natural process of life, we still have to take good care of our health and spend more time with our loved ones now. You will never know when you will be losing them coz illnesses can strike at anytime...If your family is not like that rich to afford all the treatment, please consider getting health and medical insurance for your family, especially your parents. All these financial problems will not be a problem when the worst thing strikes...From my own experience, it is already a huge mental burden when such things happen..medical fee is the last thing that you want to be worried of since there are many other things to take care. Medical insurance is not not very expensive and can be paid by CPF medisave but we always thought that such things wont happen to us.....I guess human always start to realise and regret when things happen.....I am not advocating insurance bacause I am doing insurance, but any responsible person would not want to drain the family financially when you are bug by illness right?

Meanwhile, please keep my dad in your prayers that he will be fine and be discharged soon...Thanks friends...

A Great Year Ahead!

It is a brand new year with new hopes and aspirations! :)

Today is the 2nd day of work and I am already busy like mad. The product launch that I am working on is going to be launched in March as there are too many departments and problems involved. My initial plan of quitting in Jan is postponed because I want to see through my product launch if possible, that is IF my boss dun push her luck too much. Well, good thing is there is a restructuring of departments this year, consumer marketing is going to be merged with enterprise, meaning that some of us may be shuffled to consumer team. For me, I don't think my boss and I will be changed to anywhere coz of this project, so everything status quo lah! :( Well...I am still determined to go when I have complete my product launch.

Looking back 2007, I think it was quite an eventful year. From the transition of career from PC to current company, ended a relationship that I have put in alot of effort, taking up insurance as my new career etc. I must say it was a very tiring year, more downs than ups.... I think I have learned a lot this year, becoming smarter in work, stronger in emotion and more mature in thinking. Last time I always think that having a job and slowly climb the corporate ladder is the most ideal way to be successful in career, but I guess I was wrong. Now, I think a successful career is doing what you enjoy doing and earning a decent income. Ahem..my ambition is to be a successful career woman mah!

NEXT...New Year Resolutions! Think last year I never set any so whole year very slack and never improve myself. This year I better set some targets for myself:

Career
1. To launch my product successfully in Mar and resign.
2. To join Great Eastern Life full time in Mar and hit my personal sales by Dec.
3. To be a competent and trustworthy life planner.
4. To improve on my product knowledge and get updates on industry news.

Family
1. To help my parents, sister and myself to plan for our insurance and medical coverage.
2. To spend more time with my mummy as I think she needs more exposure.
3. To organise and co-share an oversea trip with the family (maybe Hong Kong or China)
4. To give parents more allowances if I can make it in my new career (now too lowly paid to give more allowance)

Personal
1. To buy a portable laptop for my insurance career.
2. To buy a PDA phone for my insurance career.
3. To save more money! Haha..spend liao hope still have remaining. Must repay study loans first. Maybe less shopping lor!
4. To do more self study to improve myself in for general knowledge.
5. To lost some weight! So must exercise more! Targeting once a week exercise..:)
6. To look better, maybe get used to wearing contact lens and have more fashion sense. (Yah..i know this is a vain one, but all girls like to be pretty!)

Relationship
1. To catch up with more friends, especially those who have lost touch for a while.
2. To spend more time with my dearest Joyce roomie, Vivien buddy, MQ Shifu, NTU sisters, JC friends, PC gals, Bro Kaiyan and Andrew, Yuyi and Huiyun.
3. Ermm....maybe to find someone who knows how to love and take care of me. I believe in destiny and fate!

Woah....looks like quite a long list there. I will jia you and achieve my aims for the year! Life is gonna be great this year! *Heehee...coz with Great Eastern, life is great!

Have you set your resolutions? If not, do it soon coz it is definitely useful to have aims and directions in life.