hmmmm...

i don't even know what to say.

I have some serious issues.

Let me preface this with...Jackson loved standing by me while I found this clip. He was even dancing along. Go figure. None the less...I put my foot down when it comes to this show.





A friend gave me some Teletubbie books. They are by far the S-T-U-P-I-D-E-S-T books I have ever come across. I am not exaggerating either. And, Jackson chooses them every night. I need to hide the d**n things. This is how the book goes:

A magic pumkin
(open flap) Boo a magic pumpkin
Tinky wants to know what it is
(open flap) Boo a magic hat (pumpkin now looks somewhat like a hat)
Dispy wants to know what it is
(open flap) Boo A magic ball (now it looks like a ball)
LaLa want to know what it is
(open flap) Boo A magic bag
Po want to know what it is
(open flap) Boo A magic scooter (the pumpkin now resembles a scooter???!!!)
(open flap on last page) Boo, the pumpkin is gone.

WHAT?

I think she has it in for me....

One week now and my sweet little Paigie has woken up at night. Killin' me. I am tired. More tired than I was the month after she was born. She dangled the fruit in front of me and as Iwent to eat it, she snatched it away. It was a mean trick.

Really though, what is the deal. For three weeks she slept 12 solid hours, and now, she is waking up anywhere between four and six in the morning. This morning I just felt like crying when I went in there. My eyes burn. I have no energy to do anything. (sigh) Am I really going to do this again someday?? Yes, most likely. It is a good thing she is so DANG cute. She is such a happy thing when she is awake. And she loves me. Can't beat that.

I made the mistake of traveling to Vegas alone on Wednesday. i learned a few things about myself. I guess I should say I re-learned a few things about myself. First, I like routine. I like predictable. I do not like crazy, tired, hungry, crying, poopy. I have a really tough time going places where I have no home base--no where to nap my kids, feed them something semi healthy. You know what I mean. I feel tremendous guilt when I know my kids need naps and they are stuck in the car. I know it is stupid and in so many ways totally opposite me. Yet at the same time, I am a perfectionist. I like things in their right order.

On a good note, however, I got to visit with my cousins which I always enjoy. I also went to Trader Joes and Babies R Us. If I hadn't been such a nimwit I would have remembered my stroller so I could have run some other errands as well. Live and learn.

And, on a comical note...as I enter the gourge my gas light goes on and my child (J) says with all urgency, "moma, I need to go potty". Great. It's dark out and there is no b-room for like 20 miles. Needless to say, he didn't make it, but the car did. Oh yeah, and Paige was screaming the whole time. Did I mention that she hates her car seat. Most of the drama in life with regards to Paige occurs in the car.

Got Jackson these shoes. I was a little unsure, but when he put them on, they were sooooo cute.

I am itcing to take some pics of my kids, so today may be the day. My mom got Paige a cute little tutu. I have some great plans for it. We will see if they materialize. Really, I am so behind on other pics, I should focus on that, but really taking the pics is what I love--a lot more than editing them! Speaking of which, I have been doing my weekly pics lest any of you think it only lasted three weeks. I just haven't posted them (or touched them on the computer). I am going to try to get back on the ball this week.

Well, I really need to shower today. I have a few errands I would like to run (if J's car seat cover is dry!) I just ordered a double jogger from Costco. I hope it solves my double stroller dilemma. I really want to be able to walk around the neighborhood again. I hate having to drive three blocks away.

rollin' rollin' rollin'

So, Paigie rolled over for the first time today. Tummy to back only, but she was working hard on the other as well. I guess that means no leaving her unattended on the changing table while I go and save my house from the Tazmanian Devil. It makes me so sad to see them grow, yet it is so rewarding to watch them progress. She is such a sweet little thing. I do have to say though, that she is pulling a nastly little stunt and waking in the night again. She has been going 12 hours for a few weeks now and so it isn't going over too well with her mama. Tonight I am going to let her cry for a few minutes. I am so quick to run in there and I think she may need just a few minutes to find her thumb. Did I mention she is a thumb sucker. I think it is pretty cute. Of course, she doesn't want the bink much anymore and I know that will be a pain someday.

So, I accidentally erased (beyond repair) our budget on Quicken today. Yeah, 4 years of financial data lost in computer desolation. It was a sad moment. There is silver lining however. Douglas and I are really figuring out how to use Quicken. Did you know you can link all your credit card to your checking account. That will really come in handy. Also, as we get more farmiliar with the features, our weekly reconciliation is less painful. I would be so agitated by the time we were done in the past. The last month we had made some headway in using the program to its fullest potential and I think now it will be even better. Let's hope. But, if you do decide to delete a few accounts, make sure the ones you really want deleted are really the ones highlighted before you type Y-E-S. (Luckily Douglas didn't hate me forever for this either. I think he was kind of happy to have a clean start too.)

It is crisp and cool here now. I LOVE IT. I have decided that fall is the best time of the year. I love to look forward to the holidays, the cool weather, a new season of kid's clothes. It is the greatest. Of course, it is a BUSY time for me too. Good and bad. I love to be busy, but sometimes it can be overwhelming. I just need to sleep enough--that is key for me.

Jackson is going to be an Indian for Halloween. He will be a cutie. Now, I just need to get the pattern cut out and get going. That is the hardest part of any project. The pattern I got has sizes toddler through adult on the same piece. WHAT?!? Do they really think I am that good at following patterns? I am typically not a clothing sewer. This will be a new challenge for me.

Well, off to bed for me. Yeah! It is before 10pm. Let's hope the baby sleeps and Jackson doesn't get up before 7am.

Check out Anne and my new blog. Please tell me if you want to add to it too. We would love contributors~!

Little Janie

These are for you Sarah. There are LOTS of cute pics!

Are chocolate covered pretzels considered a good lunch?

For anyone who is interested...

Since my good friend Sarah wants to put me out of business anyway...I thought I would mention that they are offering two photography classes through community ed...a basic photography and digital photography. Or you could take the portrait and wedding photography one with me. Just thought I would mention it.

4s

4 jobs I have had:
1. Memory Lane Scrapbooks (first job)
2. Carrabbas Italian Grill (server)
3. BYU preschool
4. Zuka Juice

4 movies I could watch over and over
1. Pride and Prejudice (either)
2. XMen
3. Notting Hill
4. Lord of the Rings

4 places I have lived
1. Gilbert, AZ
2. Uruguay (my mission)
3. Sacramento, CA
4. Manhattan, New York

4 Favorite TV shows
1. Dancing with the Stars
2. 24
3. Veronica Mars (so sad it ended)
4. Frasier

4 places I have been on holiday
1. Rome Italy (for 72 hours)
2. Hawaii
3. Church History Sites
4. CA

4 favorite dishes
1. dessert
2. PF Changs
3. Italian food
4. Mexicano food

4 websites I visit
1. blogs
2. Gymboree, Janie and Jack, Gap (that is three--kids clothes places I guess)
3. Celebrity baby blog
4. Ribbon stores (a little obsession)

4 places I would like to be
1. asleep in bed
2. On a warm beach reading and relaxing with no kids needing me.
3. on a vaca with my hubby--preferably a cruise
4. Visiting family

4 people I want to share 4 things
1. everyone
2. everyone else
3. you
4. you too.

It's Wednesday!

Nothing too exciting here. We are half way through the week already. They seem to pass so quickly. The days are cooling off and I can totally feel Autumn in the air. I want to go find some cute fall decorations. Whether that comes to fruition, we will see. Decor shopping with J = chaos. Douglas has a planning and zoning meeting tonight and so I am pretty much a single mom today. I don't like that!

I sat straight up in my bed this morning when I finally comprehended that J had woken up, come out of his room and never appeared in mine. I can see Paige's door from my bed and just as I thought, it was open and the light was on. I went in to find J in her crib giving her loves. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. She is usually not up until 7:30am which buys me some time to get J settled or at least wake up and do the necessary things-brush teeth, go to the bathroom, brush my hair (only because I am losing so much thanks to post baby). So, my morning didn't start out as I had hoped. I am trying to will myself to be in a good mood anyway. My personality is such that I am fine and happy when I have time to wake on my own, but quite crabby when I am woken up--the very reason I avoid the alarm clock if at all possible.

My mom is off. It was hard to say goodbye and now it is on to normal life. I will have to fill the void where she used to fit in, but hopefully things will fall in place quickly.

Paige's ear piercing was without a hitch. Of course she wasn't too happy when it happened, but she settled down quickly. Her real glass earring are beautiful though. Actually, they are super sharp. I am trying to figure out what I can put on the back of them so that they won't poke her or me. And, as soon as I can take them out I am going to find something a little nicer and switch them out. She looks really cute!

Well, that is life in a nutshell. I am off to straighten my house. I am making a concerted effort to spend 20 minutes every morning and night organizing--my nemesis. We will see if I can even begin to control the beast.

Attack of the SHARPIE.

Don't even ask...all I can say is that I was NOT in the car when this happened. Also, being the concerned mother that I am, my first question was..."did he get it on his clothes." I was concerned about what truly matters.



It came right off his face with a wipe, but his legs and the car are still covered.

Kolob Cabin Weekend

We spent the past weekend at my family's cabin with some friends. It was relaxing and cool...heavenly.

Overload of pictures!

Jackson in his cooking attire. He loves to help me in the kitchen. I don't always love it so much...he wants to help with everything. It is not efficient at all!
Fat and Happy. This is the way to live. Jackson LOVES to swim and with the Nemo suit on he can swim all around the pool by himself. He liked to jump in, get thrown in, go underwater. You name it and he will do it. It is fun, but kind of scary. I watch him like a hawk around water.
He insists on using Paige's toys.
So sweet.

on a brighter note...

I am getting Paige's ears pierced tomorrow and I am quite excited about it.


And I ordered some really cute new clothes for Paige today and that always make me HAPPY!

a little bit of sadness...

so, tomorrow is my mom's last day living here in Santa Clara. She has spent the last 10 months living across the street from me and now that Greg is home from his mission she is heading to D.C. to join my dad who has been living there since July. My dad was offered a position in the foreign service and so, although they came out to Southern Utah to build their retirement home, another adventure has presented itself. They will be in D.C. until February and then they will head to Guatemala City for their assignment.

I have avoided thinking about this change for quite some time, but as I was lying awake in bed tonight I couldn't help but reminisce about the past 10 months. I also couldn't help but feel tremendously sad. It has been such a blessing for Douglas, our children and me to have my parents so close by. And then I started thinking about the next two years and being so far from them. Even when they were in CA I saw them at least every other month. You think that as you get older your need for your parents diminishes, but I have found that it has changed and grown in so many ways. My mom is truly one of my closest friends. It has been so nice having her close. I would drop by just to break the monotony of the day. We would go to lunch on a whim. We would work on projects together. She would rescue me when I just couldn't handle my dear Jackson anymore. She always helped me see the bright side of things (which sometimes I hated when I wanted to be grumpy about something). She would fold my never ending stacks of laundry. We went on shopping trips together, we watched movies together. She was there when both kids were born.She is a dear friend and my mom. It will be sad for me as I adjust to losing something so meaningful in my life.

And, I feel sad for my kids. Jackson adores his "nana". He will wonder where she went. Paige will grow so fast and my parents will miss it. This makes me so sad. I will have to do my best to share our lives with them even when they are far away. It is so hard when things happen that you know are good, yet they make your heart feel so empty. I don't mean to sound cheesy about it, but I honestly feel like there is a hole in my heart. I hate being the one left behind.

So, what will I do, I don't know. Right now I just need to cry and feel sad about it...something I have not let myself do until now.

My cute kids...

could I have caught a more perfect shot??

8 things I am passionate about:
1. Jackson
2. Paige
3. Douglas (heart, heart)
4. photography
5. sewing
6. the Gospel
7. friends
8.having peace in life

8 things I want to do before I die:
1. Keep my house clean for more than a day (meaningful, I know.)
2. See my children get married and have children
3. Learn patience
4. Go on a cruise...a real one.
5. Grow old with my hubby
6. Get all my laundry done.
7. Be completely debt free--house and everything
8. Run a really successful photography business

8 things I say often:
1. Jackson, do you need to go potty?
2. Jackson, do you need a time out?
3. Jackson, don't throw things.
4. Jackson, get off of your sister.
5. I love you.
6. Are you being sassy?
7. party like it 1999.
8. You are my favorite_______.

8 books I have read recently:
1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (yes, I know I am behind)
2. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer
3. New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
4. Twighlight by Stephenie Meyer
5. The Alchemist by Paulo Cuelo
6. The Book of Good Ideas by ??can't remember
7. Curious George goes to the Moon
8. The Book of Mormon (although not as often as I should)

8 songs I could listen to over and over:
1. Let's stay together by Al Green
2. Diana Krall anything
3. Let's admit it, I don't listen to much besides kid's music. How lame am I?

8 Things that attract me to a friend:
1. Sense of humor
2. Ability to put up with the stupid things that inevitably come out of my mouth.
3. They think I am amazing.
4. Have qualities that I need
5. Ability to commisserate with me.
6. Buy me expensive gifts.
7. Like to go out to lunch.
8. Always up to hanging out.

8 things that I have learned in the last year:
1. "terrible" doesn't even begin to describe the twos sometimes.
2. even when your child has driven you bonkers, your love for them is replenished when you see them sleeping so peacefully.
3. There is room in my heart to love two kids unconditionally.
4. You should always start decorating for baby at least 6 months before the baby is born.
5. you can always start over tomorrow.
6. Kids are so forgiving
7. I have an absolutely amazing hubby.
8. There are seasons in life for different things. We can't do it all all the time.

8 random things about me.
1. my thumb nail always splits right down the middle. It doesn't matter what I do to prevent it, it will still happen. It happened for the first time at Scaldoni's about two years ago. Drives me nuts.
2. I have not gotten a hair cut that I have LOVED since I lived in Provo. It is a sad thing, let me tell you.
3. I rarely have a hard time falling asleep at night--except tonight.
4. I love cinnamon bears, swedish fish, chocolate mint and black licorice.
5. I sometimes have fortuitis (?) dreams--not prophetic, however, because they are rarely about anything important. ( do I sound like a freak?)
6. My toe nails are not painted right now--something I swore would never happen to me and then I had kids. They are really ugly and I am pretty embarrassed about them.
7. I floss my teeth every night and have for years. I don't ever skip.
8. I ate the crusts of Jackson's pb&j for lunch today. Gross. I was just too lazy to make my own.

8 people that I think should do the 8
1. Anne
2. Sarah
3. Andrea
4. Robyn
5. Sarah
6. Jen
7. all my cousins
8. everyone else that I can't list because I only have 8 slots.

Love how this turned out!

I'm here.

So, I have been on a blog hiatus--at least with regards to real bog entries. It is kind of journal syndrome--you know where you get so far behind that you won't write because it takes too long to catch up. So, as is typical me I will list out the highlights. Maybe tomorrow you will get some pictures.

1. My youngest Bro Greg got back from his mission to Spain. We went to CA to pick him up and stayed as a family in Oxnard (random, I know, but with mis padres no longer in Santa Barbara it was the cheapest place to house everyone). Here are a few things that I once again remembered about myself...
a. I CANNOT sleep with a baby in the room. Every noise she makes wakes me up.
b. When I get woken up a lot I am really overtired.
c. When I am really overtired I am a grouch.
d. When I am a grouch no one should be around me.
e. When I am staying in a hotel with all my family (not all in the same room, thank heavens) they have to be around me...and you can figure out where we go from here.

2. Went to Provo with my mom and Paige and no Mr. J. It was a heavenly break. Paige, however is having quite a time getting back on a normal napping schedule.

3. Had sis in law, Sally was here to visit for a week. It was a lot of fun, but Grace and Mr. J were at each others throats by the end. Imagine mr. physical, rough and tumble and drama queen in the same space for a week....

4. My new computer finally works and I learned how to post to my website. Hooray.

5. Jackson started his tumbling class today and loved it! Finally I found a class where he isn't the maniac. He is allowed to be a maniac and because he loved what they did he would actually sit and wait his turn.

6. My sweet Paigie loved to talk to me and smile. I LUV it.

7. I actually got a decoration to put on the shelf by my front door. No, it isn't a key and junk holder.

Can't remember anything else and I need to go feed the baby. Oh yeah, did I mention that Paige now sleeps from 7pm until I wake her up at 7:30am with only a topping off before I go to bed. Hip hip hooray. I love chubby babies!!!!!!!

I love the chub!

If only it was cute when my bum looked like this...