I gotta change. Or else I'll never grow. I gotta learn, or else I'll never get out. I gotta live, or else I'll never survive.

I want what you have so badly. You're so lucky, you must have done something right.

Life is just so unfair. Some people are so lucky. They get to do so many things that I want to do, but I can't. What did they do to deserve what they have. They must have done something. Otherwise, I should have the same thing that they have. But I don't. So clearly, I've done something terribly wrong, or they've done something terribly right, or both.

When you're lonely and friendless, Facebook becomes your friend. And then you know, you live a sad sad life.

Today was a rare day where things worked out. It was a good day. I was pleasantly surprised. Why can't everyday be like this?

My time in the US has changed me in ways I never could imagine. I've been thinking about this one particular change. Living in this materialistic culture has ironically taught me the value of the simpler things in life. The way of life where "more is always good" has made me appreciate the way I was brought up. I had a lot of things, I was never deprived of anything, but I was always proud of what I had, and I appreciated everything that was given to me. I am proud to have been brought up to never waste food. It is sinful the way people here buy/order unnecessary things, and feel nothing having to throw them out when they are full or when they go bad.

People here have so many luxuries that we don't have yet. And the worst part is, they don't know how lucky they are. Everything is taken for granted, nothing is ever enough. I finally learned the meaning of the word "hoarding" when I came here. I see it everywhere. If only they could see things in a different way, maybe they could save themselves from their current way of life. It's not helping anyone, not even themselves.

In view of everything that been happening, past and present, I realise that I'm being punished for something. I wish I knew what it was....