A Soldier's Winter

"The day before it wasn't snowing.

After amber suns made our Earth now glowing.

The trees are strangers, leering, disapproving 

In the ash of winter, are minds are now moving

My world, my life, my wandering path.

It seems not God, but man's own wrath.

I pray God's eyes may us once again, 

Gaze upon us at our end.

We will rebuild, we will renew,

From a world of greed and lust that left so few.

Remind me that I am still his child.

And provide us with your mercy mild"

Hi blog, I came along that quote yesterday by a man I assume whom is a time traveler. His name is John Titor. Many people believe that he's a hoax, a fictional character made by someone. If you had actually read his posts, his messages sent to believe, you would be back and forth with all this. You also can't say you believe in him 100%, I'm still a skeptic somehow. I never seen it with my own eye. But he has said too many good things, teaching to many good things to people who take life for granted. If you have time, read him up. In the future of me in 2036, I'm 41 years old. Have I died? I wonder what my life is like. I wonder what would happen to my family. I'm terrified to know, terrified to find out.

I will do my best

"You look so cute while you're soundly asleep."

I'm at your house right now and you're soundly asleep. I guess we had a pretty bad misunderstanding yesterday and again, i'm really sorry about it. I already explained like most of the stuff I wanted you to know. I really believe that we should work things out, you're special after all. You're charming, you're cute, you're adorable and lastly, loving. I don't want to lose all that features from you. I loved you in the beginning because of your personality and I don't want to lose them now. I know that you're probably thinking the same of that so I'm trying to do the same, being the me that you knew when we first met. I want to try my best and get you proud. You lovable silly bear! Meow, meow and kisses! Hahaha! I guess I'm kinda hyper at the moment, I kept watching you sleep, disturbing you, poking you and yet you're not as grumpy as before.

You know, I rummaged  though our old photos you posted onto Facebook, I ripped all of them and created that photo "collage" you see up there. It's not as good, I was kinda rushing.. I was afraid that you'd wake up as I'm typing up this post. There's also another thing I'd like you to see so I'm going to post it below.

Hehe, I actually scrolled all the way down to the first entry on your Twitter and made that. While I was scrolling I noticed how much more "sad" entries than happy ones. I guess I just really didn't know what I wanted at that time but you know what? I do now! But, I'm not going to tell you yet. I might tell you if you ask though.. or maybe not. It probably will just depend on my mood for that moment. 

Aason, I really want you to know how much you mean to me. I know you might think that it isn't a lot because of all the things that I've done in the past but I'll try my best this time. I wont hurt you anymore. You're too fragile, you're so hard to hold, so hard that I'm scared to lose you. Right at this moment, I'll cherish you, I'll make it up to you, I'll tell the truth and love you for everything you are. This song below, dedicated to you, sorry for everything and I'm opening my heart up for you. I'll hope you will take it as it is.

You're always my summer. I love you, Mr. Aason Ong Ching Weeeeeeeee. Okie Dokie, I'll show this to you when you wake up. Heart-heart! Muuwah! Loveeeeee youu~

P.S. I know I messed up the 3rd tweet, I'm sorry! (*≧m≦*)
Also, I hope you'll have a great day! I'll see you later after your camp.
And check your Twittah!

With Love,

Stacey ♥ 

What am I fighting for?

"Said I'm okay but I know how to lie, you were all that I had, you were delicate and hard to find."

The amount of pain I bear today? Unbearable. It is killing me, I really feel like i'm on the edge of giving up. What am I fighting for? I can only think of you, it hurts me so much, thinking of you. I ended up on your old blog, I read up all the old posts from 28082011. I never cried so hard in my life. I really don't know what I was thinking when I told myself to blog again.. I just felt like posting that song up, I think. You know, you were so sweet back then. So encouraging.. did you stop because I did too much bad things? I'm sorry.. I can't sleep. I highly doubt it was the coffee keeping me up, I had like only half a teaspoon inside. Not even a whole pack of Red Bull could keep me up. I'm not sure if i'm hungry or I need to puke. I don't know what to write either. I'm so tired of crying, god.. i miss you. This hurts so much, i hate myself, i hate myself so much..

I don't deserve you