My Inspiration

"I have no special talent, I'm only passionately curious" - Albert Einstein

Okay, so I'm here again. I didn't realize this blog had readers. I feel deeply touched by the majority of people who kept updated with my current life or maybe because they just had nothing else to do. But who sweats the tiny details? Psh! Certainly not me. Oh yeah, check out my post picture. "Amon a horse!" Hahaha. It's pretty hilarious, well only to those who watch Avatar: Legend of Korra. It's airing on Nickelodeon. I know, I'm such a kid for watching cartoons but hey! It's a sequel to Avatar: Last Air Bender. Why the hell wont I watch it? Okay now, for those of you who have no idea what the quotes on every post is about, it's about how I feel or think on that certain day and today, I'm feeling rather inspired? I guess. I'm starting work soon, I'll be working for a very well-known brand to older aunties, Nine West! Apparently it's my mothers favourite brand of shoes. I will be working at Raffles Place. I have to thank Elaine (My oh-so lovely baby girl) for this Job. I seriously can't thank her enough. But! There's a sad part to this job and that is, that I wont be working with Elaine for awhile. *sobs* Yes, yes I know. This is dreadfully saddening, breaks my heart ever so dearly. But it's okay any ways, I'll be making money and that's all that matters. *cackles* Any hoot, I personally decided to blog to get myself inspired to work. I have never wanted to work, I dread working, so I decided to make myself want to. How you say, well.. Thinking about money of course! So in this post I'll be telling you what I've decided to get once I've gotten my pay. Well, Ideally I've already decided that I wanted to fix my laptop first when I've gotten my pay.

Okay so, the first picture is some Vans shoes with the galaxy painted on them, they are by Killer Conselations. They cost roughly about SGD120. The second picture is a galaxy crossed crew sweater by BMA. It costs SGD50. The third and last picture are by DFD, both hand painted tribal and galaxy designed. Both of them cost SGD90 each. I was planning on pre-ordering them so I can sell online as well but I'm not sure yet. I don't have the money for now. I'll probably work and save up then hold  a giveaway on my blog or Youtube. It'll probably be next month or the month after. Be sure to tag me which is your favourite item so I can choose a item and give it away. I'm probably going to pair the first, second, last picture together. I'll do a OOTD (Outfit of the day) when I get them. Remember guys, tag me in my tagboard! I love you all. *kiss*

With Love,

Stacey ♥ 

Selfishness

"I'm losing my mind.. and all I can do is keep quiet and smile."

I'm tired right now, I just took my prozac and sleeping pill. I really should be going to bed right now so this might not be a long post. This might just be about rambles. I don't know.. but hey. I finally learnt to be selfish. I really just want to fight for my own rights to be happy, love the one I really love, see them happier, brighter and most probably smiling more. People are gonna look at me, tell me things, call me a "slut" doesn't bother me anymore, go ahead. Say what you want to say, you haven't walked a mile in my shoes you wouldn't know the kind of shit I've been though. While you criticize, I'm changing. While I change, you stay the same. You're doing the same thing over and over again, you're judging people. Whats good about it? Does it bring you any good? Does it change them? No, dude.. for god's sake. You're only making yourself look bad. Well, I look bad enough but dragging yourself down to my level? Wow. Does it make you feel better doing this? If it does, by all means.. continue. It doesn't disrupt or hurt me one bit. I'm tired of all you people's nonsense. Claiming that you can "make the world a better place" dear god, why don't you save your money and go places like Africa where they really need help you sick selfish bastards. Yeah, take your money spend it on what makes you happy. Go ahead, disregard that $2s you have left in your pocket. Spend your money till your dry. You don't know how hard money is to earn. How people's blood, sweat and tears are filled within that $2 note you have left. Sick selfish ignorant assholes. Dear god, I'm tired. I'm tired of caring about all of you when all I get is shit. God damn shit. Nothing good ever comes out from helping you guys. I'm sick of this world, fucking sick. I'm going to sleep, fuck it. I'm gonna listen to Dubstep, burst my ear drums and not a single fuck will be given to any of you. _l_ This one goes out to all those fuckers. Bye.

Desperate..

"I'm asleep, someone calls my name, I wake up but no one's there."

I want to apologize for all the wrongs that I have done to you, I really just wanted whats best for you. I'm not literate, I can't write, I don't have a vocabulary, I'm sorry. I'm desperate to be cured, I don't want to stay this way forever. I want to be better. I despise myself so much for not being able to pursue or captivate all of you. I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry, I can't be perfect at all. Why aren't I normal? Most of you think I am but yet you still judge me, criticized me, why? Do you find joy in doing so? Are you happy? I'm not saying it's your fault that my life's like this but please, please, please.. Don't add anymore to what I have. I'm very very exhausted. I don't even have the mood to blog. I'm sorry.. I just can't be perfect at all..

Dear Aason,

"If you want a rainbow, you gotta put up with a little rain."

Ahh.. My sweetie. Firstly, I want you to know how very I am lucky to have someone as sweet, as thoughtful as you. Silly, playing Defense of the Ancients or League of Legends is fine with me. I do get edgy when you start to scold me. Haha, I remember you used to go "Oh my god, babe! Can't you spear properly? What the fuck.." and how when you rage you'd go "Ugh! Argh! *&#*(^^%@$FUCK!1!^&*#" and I'd find it oh-so-adorable. I know it seems wrong of me or rather sadistic but, I love it when after you "rage quit" your game you'd come cuddle up beside me and tell me about the people who made you upset. Every little thing you did, from raging beside me, to playing with my hair, or even spoon-feeding me like a baby is enough to make me happy, I mean.. It just shows how much you care. I love you for all the little things you do, you really keep me smiling.

Baby, I know you can't be there for me 24/7 and I'm not even asking for 12/7. Haha, I just need like 1/7 from you. You know, all the daily calls? It's enough to brighten up my day. Here I am, blogging.. waiting for your calls. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind it. I just miss you awfully much. I'm really sorry about the times when I'd just hang up the phone when you tell me you needed to go. I don't mean to do it, I just don't want to feel that pain every single time you tell me "Goodnight" or "Goodbye" it pains me. I just constantly want to be happy.. with you.

Haha, I'm really not good at writing wordy letters about love. It's really difficult for me since there's really too much things on my mind. I just have so much to say, all the time. I hope you'd do forgive me if you find that theres no links to some areas. I'm really trying to convey my feelings. I want to make you understand, how I feel. How much I love you. How sweet, how nice, how awesome you are. Please forgive me, I'm really trying my best. Hahahaha. You know, my mom gave us this matching Angry Birds couple key chain thing. I'll give it to you when you book out. 2 more nights, I'll see you soon.

My left wrist have been hurting for awhile now. I have no idea why its been hurting so much. I have been having sore throat for awhile now. Hopefully we'll get better together? If not we can always get even more ill together. I don't care what happens, as long as it's happening with you, it's alright. You're like the everlasting sun to me, always burning with fire and passion, loving, giving me warmth even in the coldest areas. Without you, I'm sure I'd be nothing, nothing at all. I cannot, absolutely cannot.. Be without you. I love you and you only. I'm sorry for my past issues, I hope you forgive me for them and look forward for the future with me as well. I love you, I really do. Believe me.

With Love,
Stacey ♥ 

Dear Gabriel,

"You will always make me happy."

You remember every pain, do you remember every inch of happiness as well? I've never been so attached to a person before. Maybe given that fact because it was my own child. Gabby, I love you. Maybe you said it was the right thing to do. Honestly? I regret abortion. I rather kept him, I know he would make me happy. I love my baby so much. I don't know where is he right now but hopefully he'll be happy? He told me not to cry. Haha, I wont. He protected me, I feel happy. As long as I know he loves me, thats all I need. But I feel really upset, I don't know how he even looks like. But you know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was careless. I should have protected you better. My pretty baby, I hope you sleep well. Mummy can't sing you songs like last time, mummy can't make you happy. But I love you. Thats all you have to understand. Things might not go well with your "Daddy", but I'm sure I'll be fine. I don't understand why either. Maybe because he was violent to himself? I feel numb or rather, I have less feelings towards him. I did his part okay? Don't scold him or get angry at him for what he has said and told me. I don't know if you can even read this, but it's worth a shot. I don't know what else I can do for you, Gabby. I can't raise you, I can't see you smile. I think, I just think. I can feel you. Your warmth. Thank you. Gabriel, Mummy loves you.

With Love,
Stacey ♥