Despite me being so busy with my assignment.
Despite me having a real bad headache, flu and feeling hungry.
Im still here to blog it.
There are so many things to say about you and yes, for you.
I would never have a chance to actually voice out ALL my thoughts without you, either, hanging up my calls, rejecting my calls, ignore my msges, screaming at me, shouting at me.
Other than telling you face to face which will in turn leads to you ignoring me and saying tt i'd gone crazy or im naggy or im irritating and such.
This is the best other options that i have.
Anyway, being nice to you doesnt mean you can step over me.
Being nice to you doesnt mean that you can take me for granted.
Being nice to you doesnt mean that you are always the winner and that i must give in to you all the time.
Being nice to you doesnt mean that you can do anything that you want and not care about my feelings.
For your infor, everything needs two hands to clap. If this is your way of handling a r/s, things wont last and wont work. Im not trying to say that, im always right. Im have never been wrong.
Im at fault at times but you? you always think that im stupid, im foolish and im a idiot.
Idk how to handle my feelings, my emotions well.
Im sticky, im nothing.
well, think before you speak. Nobody feels good when you say such nasty remarks.
If i were to say all these on you, how would you feel?
happy? i doubt so.
& also, to clear your stubborn thinkings,
i make my weekends every week free for you doesnt mean that i got no friends at all. doesnt mean that i got no life. get it clear.
I just wna spend the time with you for, weekdays i can always meet up with them.
but for you, you know we cant. You are inside ns. how would you expect to meet me during weekdays?
think, dont just use your mouth.
Im not being sticky to you. But i think its normal and its right for a gf to spend the quality time with her bf during weekends. This is the only time that we can spend tgt. I dont see any wrong at all. I still firm with my thinkings.
Anyway, your moodswing are getting worse and worse. To the point of women having her menopause. How serious is tt?
One minute ago, happy and nice. Next minute, scolding and saying all the nasty words.
That's you.
Yeap, " This is me, take it or leave it". How come you bring yourself to say such things. I cant believe it.
Only you can ignore me, i cant. When i ignore, you say im out with guys, which im not. =.=
You say im paranoid, when i just wondering why didnt you reply me. As in, initally of the conver, u reply me damn fast. Naturally, when you replied me slower. I will tend to wonder.
I dont know what are you thinking anyway.
Its more like you being paranoid, that im out with guys having supper. Im out with guys clubbing. Im chatting with guys. I'd made a new couple of guy friends.
All these are your assumptions. Im not doing all these!
When im out with val and all, you say idk who you are with, maybe guys but you say val? idk?
whatever it is then.
And i alr make it a pt to take pictures as and when i can to PROVE IT TO YOU, TO SHOW IT TO YOU. Havent i do to an extreme extend?
I made it a pt that im clear with my conscience. Im not with other ppl. I wanna make you feel secured and not allowing your mind to wander.
You keep saying i got no trust in you. But what you are doing now are way too much. Hiding here and there and expect me to trust you.
If there's nothing to hide like you say, then dont act till so secretive.
Whr you go? aiyah, why must i tell u.
Look, this is just a simple qn. why cant you answer?
And when it comes to my turn, you ask me. i never answer. you started to accuse me and say, you must be out with guys, enjoy your day.
what is this you tell me?
" i dont like you to go out late at night" I never go out anymore except with you. & when i go out late. Im with val and all. I will tell you. but there seems to be no trust.
" i dont like you to club" oh well, i quitted havent it?
I never step into the club like months ago! i can do it. but why cant you?
You only think of yourself, isnt it true?
You want to enjoy, you want to have fun. But youre restricting me.
I dont mind not doing things that you like, im giving in. But you just cant.
Whats with the word compromise?
so again, you are just plain talking with no actions taken?
Your stubborness are too overrated.
You told me to compromise with each other but you aint.
Talk is cheap. This is so true. But whenever i say that, you will say im irritating.
& FYI, im not trying to attract whatever attention from you, im ur gf. i need what attn?
I dont want to argue with you doesnt mean you can do anything that you want.
Respect me. You want people to treat you nice. Do the same way to other people too. (:
Dont think youre the boss of everything. only the things you say are right, im always wrong.
Dont be bias and naive.
When you do something for me, like driving me to school. I feel damn happy! im so serious. Im not as fortunate as my friend whose bf every now and then send her to school and fetch her home.
Im not trying to say i want that. But im saying, i feel so happy when you can drive me to school.
I never once treated you as my chauffeur and stop having that mindset.
oh well, and when you do things for me. you EXPECT a thankyou.
well, i think this is a must for me to say too. it shows how appreciative i am.
& sometimes when i just forget to say any thankyou.
you will start to pick up a fight and @#^&^%$##$%^ is all you can.
So now, what i want is just having the same treatment that i gave you, to me!
Its just so simple.
I packed your room.
I cleaned your table.
I folded your clothes.
I give u surprises every now and then.
I listen to everything you say.
I want bbt, I buy for you.
Im hungry, I cook for you.
I bake cookies, I make jellies, I bake baked potatoes.
But what do i get in return?
ALL YOUR SCOLDINGS.
saying im always asking for return.
I never say what i want for return, i just want to feel appreciated, that you're contented to have me and treasure me like you never want to lose me.
Maybe you aint expressive at all, but from what i see. I dont think so.
you are just taking everything for granted.
Like how you EXPECT me to do the things that you requested.
Rmbered the 2 mths of you having attachment in ERC,
everyday without fail, i rushed over to river valley bus stop at 5.30 to wait for you to end work.
I made sure I will never be late, I made sure you never need to wait for me.
I took the 2 hours bus journey back home with you everyday.
Acc you through the long journey.
& its only one day that i didnt make it, you texted and say, why didnt you come? i thought you will come.
Isnt this much obvious that, you are taking things for granted? Just cause i every weekdays i went down to find you. You think i must come everyday!
Its only just one day, and tt day i rmb either im sick or im busy with projects.
Tt's so much to sum everything up.
In any case, I think i dont deserve such a lousy treatment from you.
Im not worth tt bad treatment.
You never fail to say im demanding, but how you think of how other girls do?
Will they be doing the same thing as i had done?
I may not be perfect, but I never try to make you feel unhappy.
All these i had done for you may not be alot but its all my effort and thoughts.
I had given out too much, is it time to take them back?
I dont know, its all up to you for now.
Im so tired of all these.
Its time to stop..
