This blog is hibernating

Move over David Copperfield, I am awesome at this disappearing act!

I'm stating the obvious at this point, but I'm not really knit blogging anymore. I will attempt to explain myself briefly before I disappear again, but it has a lot to do with infertility and the life after.

The first big lull in my blogging, in early 2009, corresponds to the period in trying to conceive where you have been at it so long and know something is wrong because you are still not pregnant, but can't bring yourself to get help yet. This post was written just before our official diagnosis by a specialist. It was followed by exactly 5 more posts before I disappeared in early 2010, after we were told that IVF was our only option for having children that were biologically related to both of us, and we were in no position to afford IVF. 2010 sucked so bad, I gotta tell you. I was in therapy A LOT that year. Also, a very close friend of mine - the only friend who could have related to our infertility if I had had the guts to talk about it then - attempted and then committed suicide in late 2010, adding substantially to the suckage.

Honestly, there was just no way I could keep the desire for a child and the disappointment at not having one from completely taking over my life. I managed to keep knitting, keep working, keep the pets fed, keep our marriage alive, but a lot of life fell by the wayside. I let go of a lot of personal relationships (including the blog, which I do see as a personal relationship) because I just. could. not. handle it. I was a zombie with slightly better complexion.

Apart from one post in 2011 about donating pattern proceeds, I was MIA again until early 2012, when I got some wind back in my sails because, after two years, we were ready to go forward with IVF. And then the IVF process started in February and that's a full time job in itself. So poof I went, once again.

And then the disappearing continued, since our babies - our long awaited, very expensive, but oh so wanted and loved babies - arrived, one in late 2012 and one earlier this year. I still have a hard time believing it. The truth is that neither of us expected to ever have a baby after 4 years of failure. We expected IVF to be a bust, and to go on our (not so) merry, childless way. Life can turn around so quickly one's measly brain can't comprehend it.

So I still do some knitting these days - kids' sweaters, kids' toys, kids' socks, kids' mittens... When I was pregnant with baby #1, I opened the box where I had hidden all the baby things I made in the years leading up to infertility, and boy, was that great and awful all at once. I was confronted with the life I thought I would live at one time when I didn't know any better. And it reminded me of helping my now-deceased friend clean out her garage in 2007 and purge all the things she had stashed for almost a decade in preparation for a baby that never came. (In addition to the boyfriend sweater rule, they should probably also have a baby rule, where you shouldn't knit for a future baby until you are at least 20 weeks into pregnancy.)

I occasionally think I should post pictures or write patterns for what I knit, but it's just not in the cards at this point in my life, and that's a good thing because it means I'm spending time with my fabulous kids. But I'm happy that the patterns I have written live on and continue to be knit into marvelous, unique creations. If you have a question about a pattern, you can still email me, and someday, when life slows down a bit, I'm sure I will get back to the blogging.

Happy knitting to you!

A few minutes

I have a few minutes and I'm thinking of it, so I figured I would tell you what's on the needles.

Project #1: Cardigan, made up as I go
I scored some Elsebeth Lavold Eucool for half price at Coastal Yarns in Cannon Beach. Picked up 7 balls in a very dark brown, enough to make a sweater in my size, thanks to the amazing yardage. I started a cardigan, not really knowing what it was going to look like. The back is plain stockinette; for the fronts (V neck), I chose a simple lace pattern to border the button bands. I have the back, one front complete and the other is almost done. I should block soon - and possibly photo (now there's a crazy idea for me).

Project #2: Fair-isle pullover from recent (latest?) Debbie Bliss magazine.
It's number 3 in the mag and I'm substituting Berroco Ultra Alpaca Light (maroon and white) for the DB Rialto 4-ply (black and white). It may turn out a little smaller, but I think that's ok (in width anyway). I also converted it to work in the round so I don't have to purl in fairisle - I'm just not capable. Realizing I should have put in some fakey seem stitches, as the side that marks the change in rounds is a little funky looking. Cest la vie. I really enjoy fairisle, even though it's slow - it's fun to see the color patterns emerge.

Mercy Corps fund update

Pretty modest update, but wanted to note that the total for Mercy Corps climbed by $5. (That was actually back in March, but I'm going to pretend like I didn't wait so long to do this update.)

And thanks, by the way, to the last commenter (also some time ago, sorry!) for their kind words on my previous post.

Currently on the needles: A pair of socks (second pair in a row)
Recently finished: A giant, comfy aran sweater and a scarf I don't have enough room to block
Next project: Something involving fair isle? A cardigan? Definitely something 4-ply...

Pattern proceeds

Well, it's obviously been quite a while since I posted, and probably no one is reading anymore. Life has been, let's say, "interesting" the past few years. But I'm still here, knitting away in my little corner of the world.

Like many people, I have been watching the impacts of yet another major earthquake in the last week, and trying to figure out what contribution I might make to the world right now.* In that spirit, I've decided that proceeds from Mayberry Sock pattern sales will all go to Mercy Corps from now on, for disaster relief and international aid.

As it happens, proceeds from all 9 copies I've sold so far went to Mercy Corps after the Haiti earthquake, so it seemed logical to make it permanent. I only wish I had more patterns to sell - perhaps I will try to work on that soon.

Sorry I don't have a better update than this right now, I certainly don't intend for this to become an earthquake relief blog. I've been trying to get my craft room on order lately, and once that's done pictures will be easier - I'm proud to say I have a dress form now so I don't have to take funny portraits in mirrors anymore. Although I'd bet people find more amusement in funny portraits in mirrors...


* Aside from getting a family emergency kit together already for when our time comes in the Pacific Northwest. 'Cause it's a'comin.

Grand total

Sales of the Mayberry pattern have resulted in $45 for Mercy Corp. It's not a lot, but it's $45 more than I would have been able to give otherwise.

Thank you,
Sarah

Give Something, Get Something

I have a nice home. I have a wonderful husband. I have a great family, great pets, great friends, and a fulfilling job. I have yarn and knitting needles. And sometimes I bitch about not having things I want. I'm not going to bitch about that today.

I have sold exactly 4 copies of the Mayberry Sock pattern, and I just donated it all ($20) to Mercy Corps. Through January 31, 2010, I will donate all additional proceeds from sales of the pattern to Mercy Corps.

Or, send me an e-mail at sarah.castor@gmail.com and tell me where you donated this month (you don't have to tell me how much), and I will send you the pattern for free. We're working on the honor system here, I'm sure you're good for it.

Choose your favorite option.

Donate anywhere you like, it doesn't have to be for international aid, and it doesn't have to be for Haiti. So much money will be going to Haiti that other places will probably have to go without, so I would encourage you (if you have the option) to let the organization use your donation wherever the need is greatest, whether that is in your own community or in another country. But choose whatever works for you.

There are probably like 5 people checking this blog now, so pass it along if you feel like it. I'm going to walk the dog and think about what a great life I lead.

400+

Holey pantyhose, Batman! There are 401 Honeycomb projects on Ravelry! Only about half are finished, but that's still a big number to me.

In other news, the pink tweed is still in the form of Salina. I have the front, back, and half of two sleeves, but need to wash some more yarn before I can go further.

Pink Tweed

Where has the weekend gone?

As promised, the pink tweed. Originally, I started knitting a turtleneck in seed stitch with a cable down the front, similar to one in a Debbie Bliss book in chunky weight. But I got most of it together and tried it on and it just made me look chunky. Then I started another turtleneck from an Adrienne Vittadini pattern, but it was coming out too large. Then I thought about knitting Demi, but realized I would not have enough yarn. So I settled on Salina (Rav link) from Vintage Knits, adjusting for the aran weight. I think it will turn out nicely.

Back, in progress

Part of what has thrown me about this yarn is that it is aran weight - I almost never knit with yarn this heavy anymore. I recently cleaned out and organized my stash (really just leftovers from other projects) and realized I have a ton of 4-ply, sport and DK weight yarns, but not much else. The other thing is the color. It's a nice shade of pink, but it could easily get too girly.

I'm hoping this is the last incarnation of this yarn. We'll see.

What to do with pink tweed

Man, I need to get my act together and post! I did actually start something with the tweed, but the question is: Will it survive? Stay tuned this weekend...

Donegal Tweed

What the heck am I going to do with 10 balls of Debbie Bliss Donegal Tweed (aran weight)? I cannot figure it out.