Wednesday, February 2, 2011

she's dumping it out

some people find throwing things away exhilarating and freeing (namely my sister heather- she practically gets high off it).. and my storage room project has been awesome.. but today i'm finding it draining. emptying home bottled food so carefully prepared by my mother just reminds me of how little time i had with her and how many things she didn't get to teach me. i try to remind myself that i have loving friends and family who'd be willing to teach me and then i tear it back down with the knowledge that it'll never be the same. the same food, the same recipe, the same time with her.

sorry to be a whiner. i just needed an outlet.

take care of your mommys.. you'll never understand how much they did for you until they're gone. you'll wish so hard that you could have helped them more. loved them longer. talked to them sweeter. you'll wish you could ask them how they did it all. and for my mom, how in the world she did it all alone.
please hold her a second longer and tell her you love her just one more time.
you'll wish you had.

Friday, January 28, 2011

she's.. well she is. how bout that. Ü

so as many of you know.. mornings are not my friend. neither are spiders. but i've been seeing lots of both lately. (thankfully not at the same time!! ew!)

i've been trying to cleaning up my basement- specifically my storage room ( so that husband and i have places to put food other than the tiny cupboard i've been using). my storage room has two entrances and in the skinny hall way of the one i've found about a billion mason jars that need to be put in better boxes for storage. but only after they've been rinsed and washed and sanitized from the nasty creatures that thought they looked cozy and then died inside, of course. my mother in-law had a genius idea to put the cleaned jars into cannery boxes (who'da thunk ya know?) the kind that fit 6 10 lb cans? they are perfect!.. well as close as i could wish for at this point. they fit 15 regular jars and about 20 of the smaller. and because i'm me.. they all have to get organized into their boxes.. thus.. regular size Ball brand jars can only go in a box with regular size Ball brand jars and regular size Kerr brand jars can only go with regular size Kerr brand jars.. you get my drift? .. the ones that are random and don't have buddies they look drive me nuts though. so.. so far i have 4 Kerr boxes and 4 Ball boxes full and taped up, and about 5 other boxes each filled with a specific type of jar waiting for more buddies and 2 miscellaneous boxes.. and i'm just getting started!!

and this is all made possible by waking up and getting dressed in the morning.. which is usually such a hassle.. but when the reward is getting to go walking And see my good friend daunell And get to talk to her for about an hour.. it's pretty easy. it's so incredibly hard not to be happy around her, but when one does have a problem, daunell always has a few words of sweet wisdom. so she and i chat and walk around the pg rec track and her 2 boys follow or lead or rest or run around us. it's the best. today she somehow got me to get up extra early.. i don't know how long it's been since i've seen six o'clock. it's reeally early. she took me to the temple today and we did some sealings. it was lovely and peaceful. i love how smiley everyone is at the temple. we sat and talked for awhile inside and she told me some of her insights and i commented and attempted to sound intelligent.

probably the best and funniest moment of the day, as i was in the dressing room putting some things away i looked in the mirror at my temple dress, people have frequently told me that it's beautiful and that it looks beautiful on me. especially the day i bought it- and i'm still positive that my mother picked it out and said 'o i know it's probably not what you were thinking, but just try it.' as i looked in the mirror, i had the urge to text my mother and tell her thank you for picking such a beautiful dress. it didn't dawn on me for a second how ridiculous that was and then i just had to smile. she knows i love it.