It is hard to believe that Michael has officially been our son for four weeks. It seems to normal and surreal at the same time.
We just returned from a week of camping. We didn't know if we'd be able to go until we met Michael and evaluated his adjustment. It went so well. Gary was able to take the week off and we spent time together as a family. Michael is growing in so many ways--every day is a new discovery for him and he celebrates learning very visibly. The friends who camped with us laughed and celebrated with us as we watched him learn new skills (pounding in a tent stake or riding a tricycle) and new words (marshmallow). It is really fun to experience the world through new eyes. Being with friends also encouraged us in so many ways. It is easy to get bogged down with daily life and events and I think we all left refreshed. (I wasn't so refreshed after doing lots of laundry.)
I love my Michael. He is a gem with a smile that takes over his whole face--I find myself smiling at him a lot because he is smiling at me. He squeals with delight at new things and it makes me laugh. He loves life and loves me. He is fun and has become very affectionate with all of us. I must say that God made a great choice when He picked him to be in our family--he is a Sprick and certainly one of the ducks.
Michael is a worker bee and wants to use all of his new skills all of the time. This can be fun or is can be annoying--for the kids and sometimes for me. I have to keep reminding myself and the other ducks that this is new for him and being able to do something by himself (turn lights on/off, shut the door of the van over and over and not let anyone else touch it) is a way to control an environment that is very out of control. We do ritual every day together and I need to keep doing it. He is able to communicate with me in such a limited way that I need to let him. This takes great patience from me as I'm sick of it. I have to keep remembering that we did the same thing with our littles--how many times did we say ball? For example, he knows all of our names but he likes to play a game where he calls me by the wrong name. We laugh and I call him by the wrong name. Not a big deal really and we are communicating and laughing and he gets the attention that he needs. We say the wrong name about five times and then I end the game. This gets hard when it happens every day and five or six times a day. Patience Shanda. Patience.
On the adoption side of things, he is bonding so well--and we are too. He doesn't like to hug others and will hug us. He doesn't even enjoy communicating with others and wants to be with his family. We give great thanks for this. It is helping us to grow and it enables me to leave the house with him. . .and to go camping for that matter.
Camping was great, although I struggled with others' perceptions that Michael is mentally challenged. He looks like it and he sounds like it with his limited English. I wanted to tell everyone that we met that he was just adopted and that he has Treacher Collins Syndrome and that he is really picking up English and figuring things out and. . . . Today at the park I was playing with Michael and a little boy came up and began to ask me about Michael's age. This boy was 5 and bigger than Michael and couldn't quite believe or get that my son was older. I talked to him for a bit about it. We are all going to have things that people assume about us based on our appearance. I get that. I just want the assumptions to be the best that they can be, and I realize that I often make assumptions as well and treat others accordingly. Though this can be hard for me to come to grips with, I love that God is teaching me over and over again and refining me into who He wants me to be.
We are getting rid of our "new to us" van and praying/searching/waiting to see what vehicle will be the right fit for our family. We can't tow anything now with our conversion van and that is something that we need to have, both for our family and to manage our rental property. I'm thankful that we didn't sell our mini van yet--another way of God's provision in our lives.
God is blessing through daily encouragement, through meals being delivered (I NEVER thought that I would really need some meals this late in the game, but boy was I wrong about that one! The folks in the office at church knew more than me and insisted on taking care of us through this week.), through all of my kids, and through my sweet Gary. Moments are very hard at times, but I pick myself up, say a prayer, and hope to do better moving forward.
