Drama

Love me my Noel.  Love her.  Fascinated by her.  Entertained by her.  Loved by her.  But this girl has some drama going on!  I thought today that she might be getting her period with the way she is acting.  She is 4 1/2 going on 14.  Today, to punish me for not retrieving a craft because she had thrown a fit, she declared that she was not going to eat lunch.  It is difficult for me not to laugh because she thinks she will certainly get her way then: I mean, my daughter has to eat!  Imagine her surprise when I said I would miss her at lunch and she'd have another opportunity to eat at supper.  She stomps her way around.  She throws her head down in distress at the most innocent of things.  I think I may need to take her in for whiplash.  Noel: save the fits for real problems please.

A few days ago while in one of her "moods", I grabbed the camera.  She kept trying to keep her disgust going, but eventually. . .the camera found a smile.

Love

Love my girl.

Love my country.

Love my new camera.

Neighbors neighbors!

We've lived in our house for almost seven years.  We know the folks right next to us, but no many others.  I've been a little sad about that, but didn't know what to do about it.  I want my kids to go off and play with friends.  I want to walk on a summer evening and chat with people along the way.  That doesn't happen.

Last night it happened.  We got invited to a bonfire.  And we went.  Our kids ran around.  We were welcomed.  We laughed.  I was so nervous.  I almost turned around as we walked into the backyard and I'm so glad that we didn't.  Neighbors.  Sharing who we are.  Staying up late.  Going over names.  Then as we left, we were invited to swim at a neighbors pool today.  I almost didn't go.  BUT, we did.  I said a prayer as I walked into the backyard and Amy (the neighbor) said to me "Oh, I'm so glad that you came.  I was hoping you would come."  I thanked God.  We had a really nice time and were invited back.  Whew.

I'm going to try and step out this summer.  Folks have invited us over to swim or to play.  I tend to hide out and go find my friends that I know already.  I'm so afraid (introverted!) in situations where I meet new people and make small-talk.  Not.  This.  Summer.  I'm going to call and ask "Hey, is your invitation to come over still good?  When can we make that happen."  I'm going to ask "Can you remind me of your name again?"   For me and for my kids---we are going to make some new friends and I'm going to say "Thanks for inviting us."  I'll also bring popsicles.  Or maybe a bundt.

Tricia

Waiting for the second dance to begin.

I love my sister.  I love it that I get to dance with her during Tulip Time.  We do so great together when we see each other often--and during Tulip Time we get to see each other every day.  Love her.

I often thank God for putting us together--after all--He could have chosen someone else for me.  We have different interests.  We look different.  We sound different.  BUT--we compliment each other in a variety of ways.  She is my biggest cheer leader and I love her a ton.

Inheritance

The thought of an inheritance has been passing through my mind on and off over the past few months.  As you may recall, Gary's biological father passed away at the end of February and Gary was named the executor of the estate.  He has been working many hours and a couple of weeks ago, he was able to make the pay-out to the beneficiaries.  We were among those who received a check from Jerry.  It was large enough that we had to think about what to do with the money, but small enough that Gary most certainly went to work the next day.  We've spent some, saved some, and given some.  It has been fun.
I must say that I have struggled and grown from this whole experience.  I've been so grateful that we were included and yet I've fought against envy in that we were given very little compared to others.  I think God has really used this experience to challenge where my thinking and priorities are.  It has been good.  Really good.  I've landed in a place of complete gratitude for what Jerry gave to us as a family.  I've blessed God that rather than be given more money, Gary was instead able to have a relationship with Jerry over the past few years.  Given the choice: I'd choose a relationship. 
Though Gary and I are a long way from dying (we hope!), we have already begun to think about the inheritance we want to pass down to our kids. . . to our extended family. . . to our friends. . . to our church.  What are our values?  Do we demonstrate high quality relationships?  Do others see our commitment to God?  Will our kids bless God that they had an outstanding relationship with us and their inheritance is seen in their values, work ethic, spiritual walk, and general attitude about life?  Sure I'd love to be able to gift some money to them, but frankly. . .it won't be huge.  I pray that they see our inheritance to them as being much more than money.
When I look at Jerry's life, he didn't value relationships.  Seven people attended his funeral.  Almost everyone there was an employee (gardener, nurse, realtor).  Only Gary and a neighbor were there as friends and family.  Jerry chose vacations, making money, and time with his wife above all else.  He didn't leave Gary an example of what being a great dad was.  He didn't leave our family a wonderful example of what a Grandpa looks like.  Our inheritance from him was money, but little else.
I've been thinking about inheritance too because Gary's dad died just a few weeks ago.  His inheritance will be much different.  When we see mom next month, we'll celebrate his life and how he served His Lord.  We'll talk for years to come with our kids about Grandpa Larry and how he repaired the jukebox for them.  We share his and mom's faith journey and celebrate their testimony about God's amazing faithfulness in their lives.  
I'll soon think less and less about Jerry as the work of the estate gradually winds down.  I'll often think about Dad Petty as my kids grow up and Garrison himself carries Grandpa Larry's name. Gary has the same sense of humor.  We'll ride fast in a boat and hoop and holler.  We'll bless each other as we say good-bye.  What a great inheritance!

Only God!

Last week-end I was able to do what folks only dream about doing.  I met our sponsored daughter!!!!  I know. . .incredible!  After our return from China, Gary and I felt that we needed to take care of one of Simon's friends. ICC (International China Concern) took amazing care of Simon.  Though we couldn't take all of Simon's friends home with us, we could contribute to their care.  We inquired as to who was Simon's friend and we were matched up with YunYun.  Her picture was on our fridge for almost two years.  We received updates and there are pictures of her and Simon in Simon's China photo album.
We received the good news last summer that YunYun had been adopted and we found out that her forever family lived in Wisconsin.  We became friends on Facebook and I so enjoyed watching her bloom in her new home.
So when I read on Facebook that her family was headed to. . . Holland, MI for a conference--I was ecstatic!  We connected and joined YunYun (now Ava) and her family at a local hotel.  Though Simon only remembers her through pictures, she remembers him.  She ran out of the doors and greeted Simon.  He was a bit shy.  Many boys are when greeted by a beautiful girl.  :)  We took pictures and visited for awhile.  We were joined by another family who had adopted from the same orphanage, although their daughter had not been in the care of ICC.
After the week-end I received the best "mama" news of all though.  I'm thankful that these two kids both have homes now and aren't orphans.  I'm thankful that I was able to meet this person who has history with my son.  But my heart soared as I read something that Nancy, Ava's mom, wrote under a picture of Simon and Ava together.  Ava had remembered Simon and had told her mom that "he loved me".  We have been told multiple times about Simon's care for others in the orphanage.  To hear it from someone who remembers and was a recipient of that love--oh I pray that it never goes away but is instead fanned by the Holy Spirit.

Enjoy the pictures of our reunion/meeting!

Friends reunited after 3 years apart.

Isn't this just like a little sister?  She is trying to get him off the chair so we can take more pictures.

Simon doesn't want to stand too close--his eyes are asking me if they can just stand this far apart instead of next to each other.  :)  Ave is enjoying his coyness. 

Kimmy, Ava, and Simon.  He is looking good--maybe even comfortable.

Things are changing. . Ave is trying to hold his hand.  Uh-Oh!

Look at Simon's face!  He is touching a girl's hand!

Ava gets what she wants--and this was the last picture as Simon made his escape.

I finally got to hold and hug this precious girl.

If you are interested in sponsoring a child, feel free to look up International China Concern.  We also plan to travel to China in 9 years with our family and volunteer for a couple of weeks at the orphanage.  Feel free to start saving your pennies to come with us.  :)  Our current sponsor son is Chuan.  He has a cleft lip and is waiting for his forever family.  We'll keep praying for him.  Maybe God will let us meet him someday.

No longer a baby

Happy Birthday sweet Penny!  Oh how I love you.  You are such a spirited and funny little girl.  You also drive me crazy!  God is teaching me all kinds of new things with you little one and I couldn't be more grateful.  Today you are "tswo" and for breakfast you had "cuck-cake".  I adore you and love being with you each and every day.

Here are a few peeks at Penny's first two years.  Amazing.  Just Amazing.  Who else could create this but God?

Larry Dean Petty

I've been playing a movie track over and over in my mind over the past couple of days.  Scenes of my father-in-law play in my head.

Dad died on Tuesday.

He died.

I'm struggling with this loss.  I love my father-in-law.  I have often given great thanks to God for giving me two wonderful new parents when I married Gary.  I treasure them.

Now Dad is with Jesus.  He was in the hospital for an intestinal blockage.  They believe that he died of a blood clot.  He was supposed to be discharged on Wednesday and instead, God called him to his real home on Tuesday.

I wasn't with Gary when mom called with the news.  I was dutch dancing.  Gary had to sit and wait and process and cry and think and deny without me and then we went through it all again together.  I walked in the house and greeted Gary.  "How are you?" "Not good."  It was then that I knew.  You know what I'm talking about.  You know that something is wrong.  I ran over to Gary and already began saying "no no no no no no no. . . " as Gary began talking about his dad.

I grabbed mom and dad's picture off of the wall and stared at dad.  Memories.  Tons of memories.  Whenever I left him, I gave him a hug and kiss and he would say "Bless you."  I loved playing cards with him.  He'd play great until he began to lose and then he'd try and skewer everyone.  He always walked with purpose. . . often ahead of us into a restaurant.  He loved antiques and treasures.  I enjoyed being with him as he talked about the value of antique items.  His Coca-Cola collection is indescribable.  He loved God so much and continued to learn and read about His Father.  He not only married Gary and I, but he also did our pre-marrital counseling.  What a treasure for me to learn from a man who was married for almost 37 wonderful years, had been divorced once, and was a dad of five kids.  He had some wisdom to share.  I remember him looking Gary in the eye and intently telling him to "Treat her right.  You respect her in every way and every day.  Love her like Christ loves the church."  He also announced to the church at our wedding "These two waited for each other and it isn't easy to do in this day and age.  How many 36 year old virgins to you know?"  Everyone laughed.  He was right.  His testimony at both Grandpa Elmer and Grandma Arlene's funeral moved me and everyone else to tears.  I was so proud to say "That's my father-in-law".  My kids have several Bass (his favorite store) shirts and they proudly declare that they are from "Grandpa Larry".  He always fought for the check and he and Gary had some great discussions about who got to pay.  Dad always changed the rules to ensure that he got to treat.  I can picture him holding mom's hand while in prayer.  Before a meal he would often say "Sister P (mom), would you pray please?".  He fixed his juke box time and again so our kids could have a dance party.  He couldn't fix anything!  I'm not sure where my handyman husband came from, but he certainly didn't learn anything from his dad.  Dad would joke that he knew exactly the right tool for the job--the phonebook!

Memories.  I feel like I can remember them all and then I can't remember anything.  I circle round and round as I come to grips that I'll never see him on this earth again.  I won't kiss his cheek.  I won't ride in his boat.  I won't hear him pray.

I bless God that He put us together, if only for a brief eight years.  See you soon Dad.

Thank you

I think I'm done writing my "thank-yous".  I had quite the list of folks to thank for when Simon was in the hospital (the first time).  He is doing great by the way.  He did have a reaction to his antibiotic, so that is now under control thanks to our family doctor.

My mama taught me that if someone gives you something, then you write them a thank-you note.  I do it.  I'm thankful that she instilled this in me.  I'm trying to do the same thing with my kids.  So. . . hopefully if you gave to us during our hospital experience, then you received a thank-you note.  I do know that many of you slipped through my cracks.  I'm so sorry!  Some folks just didn't get put on my list.  I'm sorry.  Some folks gave and I wasn't aware of it.  I'm sorry.  Some people gave anonymously. . . sorry I can't write you a note, but thanks so very much!!!!!! Some folks came to visit at the hospital and I wasn't there to write it down.  I'm sorry.  If you deserve a thank-you note and want one---I'd love to give you one.  I'll give you a hug too.  Just let me know.

The lines of thank-you notes can be a bit blurry to me though.  Some are obvious--if I am not there to thank the person, then they indeed deserve a thank-you.  Yes.  If it changed my life--you'll receive a note in the mail.  What about if you opened a gift and said a verbal thank-you?  Do you still write a note?  Do you write one person nine thank-yous because they just kept giving and giving?  Sometimes the giving was so wonderfully overwhelming that a cute little thank-you card doesn't seem like enough.  (I had this so many times in the past month!)  I felt like I needed to buy thank you gifts for folks who gave to us.  Crazy sauce!

Until I read a book of thank you etiquette, I'll stick with my gut.  I'll write the notes for the suppers, money, babysitting, gifts, and encouragement.  It was amazing.  Gary and I are still in wonder about it all.  I hope that never changes.

Shoes

Shoes have been on my mind lately.  "Why Shanda?  Why have shoes been on your mind?  I'm very curious."  Thanks for asking.

First of all, they are all over my house.  Penny is a shoe child.  She loves to wear our shoes.  She clomps around in them and we lose them.  Add this to the fact that she doesn't like to wear her own shoes.  After we send her outside with her shoes on, she promptly sits down and takes them off.  She has recently learned that it is better to take them off way over by the sandbox so that I am less likely to come tromping out and put them back on her.  The second reason shoes are all over the house is because my older ducks aren't putting them away.  They each have a drawer. . . a rather large drawer.  PUT YOUR SHOES AWAY.  It doesn't seem hard to me, especially since I lost my drawer as soon as Penny began walking and needed it more than I.  So, I've started collecting shoes.  If you leave your shoes out, I take them away for two days.  Garrison is my worst offender and had to wear flops to school yesterday that were too small and gave him a blister.  He blamed me. I gave the blame back to him and made him keep it.

Second (or maybe third--there are two in the above paragraph I think), today I sat on the couch holding Noel's foot while digging a sliver out of the bottom of it.  She went outside without shoes on!  The number one rule at Camp Roger is "Always wear your shoes" and I am a believer.   (Although it has always bothered me that the number one rule wasn't Be Kind or Enjoy God or Put the Frogs Back.  I think wear shoes should be a rule, but number one?  We do strive at Camp to not have many rules, so perhaps this is the explanation.)  As Noel grimaced I reminded her that she should be wearing shoes outside.

I've also had a problem with shoes.  I think mine are getting too small.  When Simon was in the hospital, I wore shoes there.  I know--big shocker!  I usually wear crocs at home and only put on good shoes when I leave the house.  I regularly wore my good shoes up to the hospital and found that my big toes were hurting at night.  I think that my feet have grown.  This seems impossible as I am right now a size 11 and that in and of itself can be challenging to find.  I am a bit discouraged that this could be happening and am instead choosing to wear comfy non-dressy shoes on a regular basis.  The thought of special ordering a size 12 shoe. . . ugh.  I'm trying to get smaller.

There you have it.  Shoes.  On my mind.  And all over my house.

Sneakery

Whew--you'd think we were getting back to normal--it's been a little blog break there.  Simon is home.  He's not allowed to do everything he wants to do, but hey. . . this is not a big deal.  The light is lingering at night and so are my kids.  Frankly it makes me happy.  One of my favorite rooms for my kids to play in is the back yard.  I love when they go out there.  I love it when they go out there by themselves.
You'd think that with all that outdoor time I'd find time to get more stuff done.  This is not the case.  It isn't because of new projects: oh I've got some of them.  It isn't because I'm sick: oh health is where I'm at.  It is because I've discovered something called "Plants vs. Zombies".
I don't really like video games.  My kids have stopped asking me to play Mario because all I do is slow them down.  I don't really get into it.  But when Simon went into the hospital we bought a few apps so that he'd have things to do while laying in bed all day long.  I tried this game and I like it.  I like it.  I sneak a quick game.  I get caught sometimes.  It isn't good.  Gary plays it on his phone and we find ourselves having conversations about strategies.  Yes, I'm admitting it's true.
Just like I set limits for my kids, I think I need to set some limits for me regarding this game.  What kind of limits to adults give to themselves?  When can I be allowed to play this game?  Should I give it up altogether?
I'm not really asking you for input.  I feel rather. . . embarrassed at this confession.  I'm 39 years old.  I'm a mom of four.  I'm nice.  Yet here I am blogging about it, more for the record of it all.  It also helps for me to admit there is a problem.
Do you have a little show/game/magazine that you find yourself sneaking?