909 is Simon and Gary's current home: at Helen DeVos Children's Hospital. Thankfully it won't be home for very long. Turn up your hearing aide. I said "IT WON'T BE HOME FOR VERY LONG."
So. . . here is the skinny. I get called on Friday afternoon from the school secretary saying that Simon has belly pain and can I come and get him. Yes. This is a first for me--picking up a sick kid. The thing is, Simon is fine in class but it hurts when he runs or you press his tummy. Hmmm. What is this? Gary comes home and we perform a very complete tummy physical. We are experts you know. We decide that Gary will go with Simon to the hospital. We aren't taking any chances.
We have to start back at square one, which I understand but can be frustrating. Blood tests, medical history, blah blah blah taking lots of time. I join them later at night. Blood tests: not bad. X-Rays: show nothing of consequence. Gary and I insist on a CT scan and lo and behold---an inflamed appendix and another abscess.
He is admitted and I receive a phone call from my mom who was woken up by Gary (he didn't want to wake me) at 6:00 this morning. She is coming over to babysit so I can go to the hospital. Simon is having surgery. They are taking the appendix out! Hip Hip Hooray!
Surgery went great. There were a few hiccups (it is Simon you know). For one thing, the appendix had split into two pieces. Very unusual. Thankfully the doctor found the other piece. We have pictures of them both if you'd like to see. Simon is also in possession of several titanium stitches in his large intestine which he'll get to keep for his whole life. Lucky. He also has new sticker books, new stuffed animals, new silly bands, and lots of other memorabilia from the hospital.
This is not like the last time. Not at all. Though Simon had pain, he is bouncing back like a weeble. He was walking around already at 12:30. He is eating. He asked for water in recovery. He is smiling. See, this time it was just surgery--there wasn't a raging infection. Gary and I hugged each other, blessed God, and clapped for Him in the waiting room. God is taking great care of us. How awesome that we got to be there over the week-end when childcare wasn't a huge problem. How awesome that we didn't wait but went in right away. How awesome that we got back on "our floor" and saw some of our nurse friends. How awesome that they could bring up an extra order of chicken nuggets. How awesome that the surgeon just "happened to see" another piece of the appendix. How awesome that they didn't have to open him up even though his cute belly was so inflamed. Our God is so awesome and is taking great care of us in this situation--much like He did the first time. He spared our son's life and Simon is scheduled (we know things can change!) to come home tomorrow. He might even go to school on Monday--after all--he has a library book that was due two weeks ago.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Another blessing
I sat down today to write about the last month in Simon's journal. I have a journal for each of my kids and am ridiculously behind. My mom made AMAZING scrapbooks for each of us kids filled with notes, stories, milestones and the like. I'm realistic enough to know that I do not have all of the same gifts as Gloria. I do make photo books (God bless digital photos!) and I write down stats, especially in the early years. So when Garrison was born I bought a journal just for him. I have one for each child. I write at birthdays, Christmas, milestones and whenever the Spirit moves me.
So last night while I was awake for two hours with a very unhappy Penelope, it came to mind that I needed to journal about our latest journey with Simon. I wrote some specific things: dates of surgeries etc., as well as feelings that I had. I won't share what I wrote. It is for Simon.
What I will share is that while writing God gave me something new. I was remembering being in the hospital with him and remembering a new love that I felt for him. Is that even possible? Of course it is. I continue to learn about love and continue to grow in love, not only with my kids but also with Gary, family members, and friends. My love for God also grows and changes as I get to know Him better. There I was, sitting at DeAnna's playhouse while kids ran all over the place. . tearing up as God was teaching me yet again. In taking care of Simon's most basic needs (eating, bathing, helping him fall asleep, assisting with going to the bathroom) I developed a new bond with him, one which I bless God for. I was able to do that with all of my other kids--when they were infants. It saddens me that I couldn't have raised Simon since he was a baby. In a way, God gave me that experience in the hospital. Though we are thoroughly attached, God added a new level by making Simon. . . in a very creative way. . . an infant. I cuddled him in his bed. I helped him eat. I rubbed his head to get to sleep. I kissed and hugged him more than ever. I bathed him. It filled a need in me towards him that I didn't know I had. I believe it filled a need for him too. We were both given new ways of loving each other.
So today while journaling this new truth washed over me--given by the Holy Spirit. What a great gift! Though given the choice I wouldn't have Simon go through this whole yucky thing--God has certainly used to to teach me, to encourage me, and to fill me! He is so awesome! I think it helps me to love God even more, and isn't that the point?
So last night while I was awake for two hours with a very unhappy Penelope, it came to mind that I needed to journal about our latest journey with Simon. I wrote some specific things: dates of surgeries etc., as well as feelings that I had. I won't share what I wrote. It is for Simon.
What I will share is that while writing God gave me something new. I was remembering being in the hospital with him and remembering a new love that I felt for him. Is that even possible? Of course it is. I continue to learn about love and continue to grow in love, not only with my kids but also with Gary, family members, and friends. My love for God also grows and changes as I get to know Him better. There I was, sitting at DeAnna's playhouse while kids ran all over the place. . tearing up as God was teaching me yet again. In taking care of Simon's most basic needs (eating, bathing, helping him fall asleep, assisting with going to the bathroom) I developed a new bond with him, one which I bless God for. I was able to do that with all of my other kids--when they were infants. It saddens me that I couldn't have raised Simon since he was a baby. In a way, God gave me that experience in the hospital. Though we are thoroughly attached, God added a new level by making Simon. . . in a very creative way. . . an infant. I cuddled him in his bed. I helped him eat. I rubbed his head to get to sleep. I kissed and hugged him more than ever. I bathed him. It filled a need in me towards him that I didn't know I had. I believe it filled a need for him too. We were both given new ways of loving each other.
So today while journaling this new truth washed over me--given by the Holy Spirit. What a great gift! Though given the choice I wouldn't have Simon go through this whole yucky thing--God has certainly used to to teach me, to encourage me, and to fill me! He is so awesome! I think it helps me to love God even more, and isn't that the point?
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Missed it
I'm a sentimental kind of a gal. I like to remember the big (and little) moments--especially the firsts and the lasts. I remember the day I walked into my first classroom as a teacher. My parents were with me, I held the key in my hand, and just before I unlocked the door my parents and I paused and we talked about what this meant--me being a teacher. "You'll never walk into your first classroom again" dad told me. I walked off of Girl's Hill at Camp Roger that last night before the cabins were torn down. I stopped and looked and remembered. I wanted that last image to be forever etched in my brain. As we left our house to go to the hospital and deliver Garrison I stopped in the living room and had Gary take a moment with me. I knew this house would never be the same. I have a copy of my first real paycheck. I gripped my classroom key from Chicago Christian a little tighter before I turned it in because I knew I was leaving teaching and didn't know when or if I would return. I love the watch the last episode of a tv show, even if I hadn't really watching the whole series. Yeah. . . I could keep listing on and on. Sappy. Sentimental. I think this is part hard-wired and part parental coaching. I'm thankful I have this. It helps me to mark moments, to see the hand of God, to take a step toward moving on.
Thus it was with great sadness that I missed a moment. I missed it. I knew it was coming and I had even brought the camera. With all the driving back and forth from the hospital it looked like our car would be turning 100,000 miles. I love that kind of stuff. I was going to take at picture at 99,999 and then again at 100,000. I had even begun to think about all the trips, visits, and "episodes" the car had seen. I was going to think about them as it happened. I left the hospital at 99,983 and then. . . . 100,011. What?!? I couldn't go in reverse. Somewhere along the highway there was a moment that I could never go back to. I called Gary who was still at the hospital and shared my lament. He didn't seem as distraught over the news as I was. . . probably because it is a car. Boo.
Thus it was with great sadness that I missed a moment. I missed it. I knew it was coming and I had even brought the camera. With all the driving back and forth from the hospital it looked like our car would be turning 100,000 miles. I love that kind of stuff. I was going to take at picture at 99,999 and then again at 100,000. I had even begun to think about all the trips, visits, and "episodes" the car had seen. I was going to think about them as it happened. I left the hospital at 99,983 and then. . . . 100,011. What?!? I couldn't go in reverse. Somewhere along the highway there was a moment that I could never go back to. I called Gary who was still at the hospital and shared my lament. He didn't seem as distraught over the news as I was. . . probably because it is a car. Boo.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Growth for Shanda
It's been two weeks since the incident. Let me share, not because I'm awesome, but because I'm forgiven.
While Simon was in the hospital, I received word that a little rascal on the bus was trying to push Garrison down after he got off of the bus. A mom had seen it happen. We had also been warned by our neighbor that she was hearing reports that this boy--oh he needs a name---Luke was picking on Garrison. Luke is in 3rd grade. Garrison is in kindergarten. Gary and I talked with Garrison and asked about Luke. We encouraged him to just stay away from him and to not engage with him. I think that Garrison understood, but didn't get it. A big 3rd grader was talking with him and wanted to "play" with him, even if the play was pushing him down. We had also been told that Luke's parents didn't believe he was doing these things (other kids had been picked on as well). So the stresses of the hospital, the reports from neighbors, and the discharge of Simon home with two tubes sticking out of his body were swirling all around me two weeks ago.
It was the first day back to school after spring break and the first day back for Simon in a month. I waited in our driveway when the bus pulled up to its stop (two driveways down). My boys got off as did Luke and his thugs. I saw them shove Simon over--caught Simon's face as he looked at me with a look of terror--and saw them reach out for Garrison who was shoved on the back but didn't fall down. THAT. WAS. IT.
I started out nice. I really did. I called out "Luke". He didn't hear me. As I began walking toward him I kept yelling louder and louder because he didn't hear me. I finally caught up with him and I let loose. I think I yelled some of the following phrases. "You will quit picking on my boys. Simon has been in the hospital for 19 days. He has two tubes coming out of his body. You shoved him and if he gets an infection from it he could die. He could die Luke. You could put him in the hospital and he could die. How dare you pick on little kids. You will stop picking on my boys. Do you understand me?" Luke abruptly turned as did I. I marched back to the house and greeted my boys.
I felt horrible. I stood by my words, but I didn't stand by my actions. I had no right to yell at Luke. If my boys were doing these sort of things, I certainly hope that an adult would talk with them and set them straight. When Gary came home I shared with him. He said I needed to go and talk with the parents. I didn't want to do that. That is hard. I am scared to do these sorts of things. Gary looked me in the eye and asked if I had prayed about what to do. I said that I really didn't need to pray, I know what God wanted me to do. I needed to go and talk with Luke and his dad. I needed to apologize. So I put on my walking shoes and headed out the door. Gary was already praying.
I prayed the whole way there.
I guessed at what house was Luke's--and I guessed right. I breathed a quick thanks to God. Luke's dad answered the door and I asked if I could talk with both him and Luke. I smiled and apologized right away. I had no right to yell. Then I explained what had been happening with our hospital stay and the like. The stress had just fallen all over the place. I also said that I had been getting reports of Garrison being shoved to the ground every day after school. Luke looked at me with large eyes. His dad looked to him and asked if he had been doing that. After quite the pause he admitted that this had been happening. Luke's dad assured me that it would not happen again and that Luke would be apologizing to Garrison the next day. Luke's dad also said he had heard about what had happened and was planning on coming over to talk with me later that night. I smiled, thanked them both and headed home.
I prayed the whole way back thanking God. It had gone so much better than I had anticipated. They were so receptive to what I had to say. I had conquered a fear of mine. Garrison wasn't going to be messed with again by this hooligan. I had shown both Luke and my kids about apologizing when we do something wrong. God had taken great care of this situation. I also smiled and thought--even though I shouldn't have gone off on Luke like that--I don't think he'll mess with me again. That kinda makes me happy.
My pulse is racing just writing this post. Isn't that amazing how just the memory of something can get you going? So why did I write this? First to give Glory to God. He is awesome and I'm such a fan. Second, this blog serves as a sort of journal for me. Though I do filter what I write about (though some would disagree), I need to remember some of the lessons I've learned and mistakes that I make. Finally--you should all know not to mess with this mama bear. :)
While Simon was in the hospital, I received word that a little rascal on the bus was trying to push Garrison down after he got off of the bus. A mom had seen it happen. We had also been warned by our neighbor that she was hearing reports that this boy--oh he needs a name---Luke was picking on Garrison. Luke is in 3rd grade. Garrison is in kindergarten. Gary and I talked with Garrison and asked about Luke. We encouraged him to just stay away from him and to not engage with him. I think that Garrison understood, but didn't get it. A big 3rd grader was talking with him and wanted to "play" with him, even if the play was pushing him down. We had also been told that Luke's parents didn't believe he was doing these things (other kids had been picked on as well). So the stresses of the hospital, the reports from neighbors, and the discharge of Simon home with two tubes sticking out of his body were swirling all around me two weeks ago.
It was the first day back to school after spring break and the first day back for Simon in a month. I waited in our driveway when the bus pulled up to its stop (two driveways down). My boys got off as did Luke and his thugs. I saw them shove Simon over--caught Simon's face as he looked at me with a look of terror--and saw them reach out for Garrison who was shoved on the back but didn't fall down. THAT. WAS. IT.
I started out nice. I really did. I called out "Luke". He didn't hear me. As I began walking toward him I kept yelling louder and louder because he didn't hear me. I finally caught up with him and I let loose. I think I yelled some of the following phrases. "You will quit picking on my boys. Simon has been in the hospital for 19 days. He has two tubes coming out of his body. You shoved him and if he gets an infection from it he could die. He could die Luke. You could put him in the hospital and he could die. How dare you pick on little kids. You will stop picking on my boys. Do you understand me?" Luke abruptly turned as did I. I marched back to the house and greeted my boys.
I felt horrible. I stood by my words, but I didn't stand by my actions. I had no right to yell at Luke. If my boys were doing these sort of things, I certainly hope that an adult would talk with them and set them straight. When Gary came home I shared with him. He said I needed to go and talk with the parents. I didn't want to do that. That is hard. I am scared to do these sorts of things. Gary looked me in the eye and asked if I had prayed about what to do. I said that I really didn't need to pray, I know what God wanted me to do. I needed to go and talk with Luke and his dad. I needed to apologize. So I put on my walking shoes and headed out the door. Gary was already praying.
I prayed the whole way there.
I guessed at what house was Luke's--and I guessed right. I breathed a quick thanks to God. Luke's dad answered the door and I asked if I could talk with both him and Luke. I smiled and apologized right away. I had no right to yell. Then I explained what had been happening with our hospital stay and the like. The stress had just fallen all over the place. I also said that I had been getting reports of Garrison being shoved to the ground every day after school. Luke looked at me with large eyes. His dad looked to him and asked if he had been doing that. After quite the pause he admitted that this had been happening. Luke's dad assured me that it would not happen again and that Luke would be apologizing to Garrison the next day. Luke's dad also said he had heard about what had happened and was planning on coming over to talk with me later that night. I smiled, thanked them both and headed home.
I prayed the whole way back thanking God. It had gone so much better than I had anticipated. They were so receptive to what I had to say. I had conquered a fear of mine. Garrison wasn't going to be messed with again by this hooligan. I had shown both Luke and my kids about apologizing when we do something wrong. God had taken great care of this situation. I also smiled and thought--even though I shouldn't have gone off on Luke like that--I don't think he'll mess with me again. That kinda makes me happy.
My pulse is racing just writing this post. Isn't that amazing how just the memory of something can get you going? So why did I write this? First to give Glory to God. He is awesome and I'm such a fan. Second, this blog serves as a sort of journal for me. Though I do filter what I write about (though some would disagree), I need to remember some of the lessons I've learned and mistakes that I make. Finally--you should all know not to mess with this mama bear. :)
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Whew!
We are off and running and dare I say it. . . BACK TO NORMAL!
See, Simon and I went for another appointment with our infections diseases doctor--the one and only Dr. Dahl. I love her. I really do. God put her in our path at the right time--she was on call for two weeks--just when we happened to be in the hospital. Hmmm--aint no coincidence baby! So we go to see her for our second follow-up appointment. It feels so familiar to drive to Grand Rapids, to park in P5, to take the elevator up to the hospital. We rode with a woman who had a "parent/guardian" badge on. I smiled at her and said that I once had one of those. I'm sorry that she has to have one too. Her baby was born at 28 weeks. She just went for lunch and was now back on duty. Oh there is so much heartache for parents at DeVos Children's Hospital! I hope I never forget the feeling, but I'm so thankful I'm not doing that one or sometimes even twice every day.
I had planned to make a pie for Dr. Dahl. I didn't for two reasons. 1. I couldn't find rhubarb at Meijer and I was determined to make a rhubarb pie. I make an excellent one. Meijer has everything--except for rhubarb last week. 2. I knew we'd be coming back again so I could make it for her next week. BUT, there will be no pie.
Dr. Dahl was shocked that Simon's blood counts/tests/numbers/blah blah's were as they were. She didn't see this coming. She looked at me and said that last week she never would have guessed that he would be back to normal. She even said the word "miraculous". Of course it is. My God is in the miracle business and many folks have been talking with Him about it. I wasn't surprised about that at all. I was surprised about her next statement. "We can take out the pic line." WHAT?!?! I didn't bring my camera. I didn't make a pie. You mean he can play and jump and shower and ride a bike and climb and be a six year old boy? Yup.
I may have gotten a little excited in her office. I may have been a little too loud. I may have laughed and shouted. I may have even danced. I did bless God. And then she put on gloves, snipped some stitches and pulled it out. It was longer than a spaghetti noodle and as thin as an angel hair pasta. That tube helped save my boys life. That tube provided medications. That tube gave blood for tests. Now it was gone. Out.
Simon was sad I was going to make him take a shower (he hadn't showered in six weeks!), but he was thrilled to jump on the trampoline. He wrestled with Gary. He played in the creek. He is normal. He is putting on weight (2 pounds last week!). I finally feel like we are back to normal--including Gary and I who aren't giving him his iv meds anymore. Thanks again for all of your help. Mostly, thanks for talking with God about us and how we needed His help. You lifted us up and we are so grateful. We'll let you know when his surgery to remove his appendix is scheduled. Bless God!
See, Simon and I went for another appointment with our infections diseases doctor--the one and only Dr. Dahl. I love her. I really do. God put her in our path at the right time--she was on call for two weeks--just when we happened to be in the hospital. Hmmm--aint no coincidence baby! So we go to see her for our second follow-up appointment. It feels so familiar to drive to Grand Rapids, to park in P5, to take the elevator up to the hospital. We rode with a woman who had a "parent/guardian" badge on. I smiled at her and said that I once had one of those. I'm sorry that she has to have one too. Her baby was born at 28 weeks. She just went for lunch and was now back on duty. Oh there is so much heartache for parents at DeVos Children's Hospital! I hope I never forget the feeling, but I'm so thankful I'm not doing that one or sometimes even twice every day.
I had planned to make a pie for Dr. Dahl. I didn't for two reasons. 1. I couldn't find rhubarb at Meijer and I was determined to make a rhubarb pie. I make an excellent one. Meijer has everything--except for rhubarb last week. 2. I knew we'd be coming back again so I could make it for her next week. BUT, there will be no pie.
Dr. Dahl was shocked that Simon's blood counts/tests/numbers/blah blah's were as they were. She didn't see this coming. She looked at me and said that last week she never would have guessed that he would be back to normal. She even said the word "miraculous". Of course it is. My God is in the miracle business and many folks have been talking with Him about it. I wasn't surprised about that at all. I was surprised about her next statement. "We can take out the pic line." WHAT?!?! I didn't bring my camera. I didn't make a pie. You mean he can play and jump and shower and ride a bike and climb and be a six year old boy? Yup.
I may have gotten a little excited in her office. I may have been a little too loud. I may have laughed and shouted. I may have even danced. I did bless God. And then she put on gloves, snipped some stitches and pulled it out. It was longer than a spaghetti noodle and as thin as an angel hair pasta. That tube helped save my boys life. That tube provided medications. That tube gave blood for tests. Now it was gone. Out.
Simon was sad I was going to make him take a shower (he hadn't showered in six weeks!), but he was thrilled to jump on the trampoline. He wrestled with Gary. He played in the creek. He is normal. He is putting on weight (2 pounds last week!). I finally feel like we are back to normal--including Gary and I who aren't giving him his iv meds anymore. Thanks again for all of your help. Mostly, thanks for talking with God about us and how we needed His help. You lifted us up and we are so grateful. We'll let you know when his surgery to remove his appendix is scheduled. Bless God!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Ring Ring
I've lost my phone.
Sadly, this is not unusual. I'm not a huge fan of carrying it or remembering to carry it. See, I'm not much of a phone talker. I will often misplace it for a few days and then stumble on it. Gary will just shake his head at me. He works for a cell phone company. He spends a significant portion of his day on his cell phone. He is on call right now so he sleeps with it next to him. He. Doesn't. Lose. It.
So it has been a few days. . . maybe a week since I had it. I haven't spent much time looking for it. . . partly because I don't think about needing it until I'm walking out the door and partly because in my head--it really isn't lost then. See, if I don't look for it I'll somehow find it in my coat pocket, under the seat, in the "hold all" basket in the kitchen. . . you know. But, this morning Gary took it upon himself to look for it--bless him! He used his uber powerful flashlight and found his way into the car, mudroom, kitchen, and bedroom. He did find a gift card with twelve dollars and change on it. (That was from Christmas. . . again I had lost that one.) He also found Noel's missing lip gloss (not such a great find in my opinion). I've spent considerable time today thinking of logical places that it could be. I've searched all of these locations with no luck. Simon has a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'd like to have it. This is quickly becoming a problem.
It is a problem too for another reason. I've been riding the kids about putting stuff away. They leave stuff all over. I trip over it. What is up with underwear in the living room?! Hmmm? I've stepped on three marbles already today. Marbles don't belong on my carpet especially when their other marble friends are in the bedroom. I threw them away. Garrison has lost his Easter candy every day this week for leaving his shoes out. Do you see where I'm going? I can't find my phone. Why? I didn't put it where it belonged. Who am I to "strongly encourage in a forceful voice" my kids to find an appropriate home for their things when. . . ahem. . . I'm not doing such a good job.
To my credit I often have this problem. Oh wait, that isn't a very good credit thing. I did hear today that a doctor from the hospital said that I had a lot of joy coming out of me. I'll focus on that instead. Back to the phone-any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions? And I did try to call it--either off or dead battery. I'm guessing the battery. I've been known to let it go dead. More to work on I guess.
Sadly, this is not unusual. I'm not a huge fan of carrying it or remembering to carry it. See, I'm not much of a phone talker. I will often misplace it for a few days and then stumble on it. Gary will just shake his head at me. He works for a cell phone company. He spends a significant portion of his day on his cell phone. He is on call right now so he sleeps with it next to him. He. Doesn't. Lose. It.
So it has been a few days. . . maybe a week since I had it. I haven't spent much time looking for it. . . partly because I don't think about needing it until I'm walking out the door and partly because in my head--it really isn't lost then. See, if I don't look for it I'll somehow find it in my coat pocket, under the seat, in the "hold all" basket in the kitchen. . . you know. But, this morning Gary took it upon himself to look for it--bless him! He used his uber powerful flashlight and found his way into the car, mudroom, kitchen, and bedroom. He did find a gift card with twelve dollars and change on it. (That was from Christmas. . . again I had lost that one.) He also found Noel's missing lip gloss (not such a great find in my opinion). I've spent considerable time today thinking of logical places that it could be. I've searched all of these locations with no luck. Simon has a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'd like to have it. This is quickly becoming a problem.
It is a problem too for another reason. I've been riding the kids about putting stuff away. They leave stuff all over. I trip over it. What is up with underwear in the living room?! Hmmm? I've stepped on three marbles already today. Marbles don't belong on my carpet especially when their other marble friends are in the bedroom. I threw them away. Garrison has lost his Easter candy every day this week for leaving his shoes out. Do you see where I'm going? I can't find my phone. Why? I didn't put it where it belonged. Who am I to "strongly encourage in a forceful voice" my kids to find an appropriate home for their things when. . . ahem. . . I'm not doing such a good job.
To my credit I often have this problem. Oh wait, that isn't a very good credit thing. I did hear today that a doctor from the hospital said that I had a lot of joy coming out of me. I'll focus on that instead. Back to the phone-any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions? And I did try to call it--either off or dead battery. I'm guessing the battery. I've been known to let it go dead. More to work on I guess.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Superpowers
My boys are enjoying school this year and often choose "school" as the thing they are thankful for when we pray together before bedtime. I'm thankful for this. Very thankful. This hasn't always been the case, nor am I naive enough to think it always will be.
So this morning I wasn't surprised when Garrison and I began talking about school. He had wandered up the stairs (You did know Garrison slept in the basement right? Because Penny attacks Noel in the middle of the night right? So Noel is in the boys room (she often has bad dreams) and Simon needs iv meds at 12:30 so. . . to the basement you go Garrison!) at 7:00. I was finishing my quiet time and the rest of the house was asleep. It was rather nice. My large kindergartner climbed into my lap (ugh!) and I relished the chance to cuddle with him, rub his back, and just listen. His favorite part of school is recess. This isn't surprising either. I asked him what he had done at recess. Two things. "I played Mario for awhile and then I played tag." He listed the names of a few of his classmates. We were interrupted then by others and it wasn't until breakfast that I figured out we hadn't finished our early morning conversation.
Garrison sat at the table with his Bible Story book by his side. It is the one he bought at the thrift center. It is one of his most prized possessions. He often carries it around and I had noticed that he had it under his arm when he got off the bus. I could think of worse treasure to keep. He was looking at it while he ate when he told me he had used it on the playground. I paused and asked how he would use his Bible Story book during recess. He informed me he carried it around and during Mario, he was able to open the book and give his friends super powers. After all, the Bible is so very powerful.
Yes my son. Hard to argue with that one.
So this morning I wasn't surprised when Garrison and I began talking about school. He had wandered up the stairs (You did know Garrison slept in the basement right? Because Penny attacks Noel in the middle of the night right? So Noel is in the boys room (she often has bad dreams) and Simon needs iv meds at 12:30 so. . . to the basement you go Garrison!) at 7:00. I was finishing my quiet time and the rest of the house was asleep. It was rather nice. My large kindergartner climbed into my lap (ugh!) and I relished the chance to cuddle with him, rub his back, and just listen. His favorite part of school is recess. This isn't surprising either. I asked him what he had done at recess. Two things. "I played Mario for awhile and then I played tag." He listed the names of a few of his classmates. We were interrupted then by others and it wasn't until breakfast that I figured out we hadn't finished our early morning conversation.
Garrison sat at the table with his Bible Story book by his side. It is the one he bought at the thrift center. It is one of his most prized possessions. He often carries it around and I had noticed that he had it under his arm when he got off the bus. I could think of worse treasure to keep. He was looking at it while he ate when he told me he had used it on the playground. I paused and asked how he would use his Bible Story book during recess. He informed me he carried it around and during Mario, he was able to open the book and give his friends super powers. After all, the Bible is so very powerful.
Yes my son. Hard to argue with that one.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Meals
I've been thinking about meals lately. . . mostly because I haven't been cooking much and have been having meals brought in to our home. First--not everyone is called to bring in a meal. I said it and I mean it. Making a meal is a calling and not something that we are all required to do. We need to show Christ's love to those around us, but it might not be bringing a meal. Prayers, driving, money for gas, cleaning, sending cards for all of our children, gifts for Simon and the ducks, babysitting, sending me a card, sitting with Simon in the hospital, sitting with me in the hospital, calling and not expected a call back, facebook messages. . . all are showing Christ's love. Second--wow is getting a meal a treat. Folks have taken great care of us in this regard. As our feet are getting underneath us we don't have any more meals scheduled. It is nice to say. It is nice to look over the past month and know that we didn't go hungry--and I didn't stress about this.
Here are some of my thoughts on the good and bad of getting a meal. The bad first.
Bad:
1. All you nice folks--you kept bringing dessert! :) I have a very difficult time resisting dessert and there it is. . . in my house. Cookies. Ice Cream. Ice cream pie. Pumpkin pie. Brownies. That is the only bad thing.
Good:
1. No stress about supper.
2. There was enough for leftovers. We asked for a meal about three times a week and used the leftovers for lunches and for supper in the hospital. Awesome.
3. It is fun to taste some new stuff!
4. The kids get to see their mom not doing it all--saying "thanks". They are also learning about accepting with graciousness something they might not be so excited about.
5. Balanced meals--folks often brought a nice well-rounded meal. I try, but don't always produce something with a mixture of food groups. I am inspired.
6. These meals gave me some new ideas about combinations or flavors I hadn't tried before.
7. I was able to interact with folks who I don't talk with on a regular basis. I liked that. People from church wanted to help and that is what they did--even if they didn't know me well.
8. We received many meals "off schedule". These came frozen and are ready for us when we need them. We'll use them on doctor's days, when Simon has his next surgery, or when I've just had one of those days. :) Offering a friend a tater tot casserole is just helpful. There are two right now in my freezer.
9. I've learned new things about giving a meal--new ideas on how I can share with others in the future. One friend picked up my crock pot ahead of time and brought the meal in it. I saw new ways of packaging lettuce. Various pans went through my kitchen and I saw some things I liked: future Christmas list fodder perhaps. I've also learned many new uses for jello. My kids are excited about that one. I want to be flexible about bringing it cooked or bringing it uncooked.
10. I was able to experience the hand of God through each and every person. I saw God. I wept as people took care of our most basic of needs.
Bringing a meal: it means something. Thanks.
Here are some of my thoughts on the good and bad of getting a meal. The bad first.
Bad:
1. All you nice folks--you kept bringing dessert! :) I have a very difficult time resisting dessert and there it is. . . in my house. Cookies. Ice Cream. Ice cream pie. Pumpkin pie. Brownies. That is the only bad thing.
Good:
1. No stress about supper.
2. There was enough for leftovers. We asked for a meal about three times a week and used the leftovers for lunches and for supper in the hospital. Awesome.
3. It is fun to taste some new stuff!
4. The kids get to see their mom not doing it all--saying "thanks". They are also learning about accepting with graciousness something they might not be so excited about.
5. Balanced meals--folks often brought a nice well-rounded meal. I try, but don't always produce something with a mixture of food groups. I am inspired.
6. These meals gave me some new ideas about combinations or flavors I hadn't tried before.
7. I was able to interact with folks who I don't talk with on a regular basis. I liked that. People from church wanted to help and that is what they did--even if they didn't know me well.
8. We received many meals "off schedule". These came frozen and are ready for us when we need them. We'll use them on doctor's days, when Simon has his next surgery, or when I've just had one of those days. :) Offering a friend a tater tot casserole is just helpful. There are two right now in my freezer.
9. I've learned new things about giving a meal--new ideas on how I can share with others in the future. One friend picked up my crock pot ahead of time and brought the meal in it. I saw new ways of packaging lettuce. Various pans went through my kitchen and I saw some things I liked: future Christmas list fodder perhaps. I've also learned many new uses for jello. My kids are excited about that one. I want to be flexible about bringing it cooked or bringing it uncooked.
10. I was able to experience the hand of God through each and every person. I saw God. I wept as people took care of our most basic of needs.
Bringing a meal: it means something. Thanks.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Pajama morning. . . and afternoon?
It's a pajama morning.
All the kids are dressed. Gary is dressed. I am not.
Normally I'm the last one out of my pajamas because I get everyone else breakfast and off to work. Then, when our morning is settled I find something appropriate to wear. This morning is a bit different. Gary was up early because he got called out to work. He quickly mowed the lawn (sorry neighbors! 7:30 is a bit early). I made him an egg sandwich (and one for myself) and kissed him good-bye. The rest of the ducks received varied breakfasts (do you all eat the same thing every morning?), Simon received his meds, folks got dressed or were dressed (Penny), duck duties completed, Penny watched coo-coo clock videos on you tube. . . yada yada yada. 10:00 came and there was a break in the action. Time to find jeans and a sweatshirt.
About 9:30 Penny began climbing the shelves in her closet in order to get her pacifier. She was none too happy when I removed my little monkey and put her pacifiers in my bedroom. She can't open our bedroom door yet. She threw one massive fit which included jiggling the door handle in one last ditch effort to get them. So when I went to the bedroom to get dressed--the door handle was broken. I can't get in my bedroom. I can not open the door. It is not locked. It is broken. No clothes. No contacts. No deodorant. No comb. No bra. No Gary home to remove the handle and figure it out. Nope.
I was getting dressed so we could do to the Dollar Store. You can imagine the fall-out when I said we weren't going. I will not be going out in public in my current condition. So, the older kids are playing Mario and Penny is getting into the boys' things while they are distracted with video games. You know--good mama kinds of activities. :) We are hosting a Seder in our home tonight. Hopefully I'll be dressed by then.
All the kids are dressed. Gary is dressed. I am not.
Normally I'm the last one out of my pajamas because I get everyone else breakfast and off to work. Then, when our morning is settled I find something appropriate to wear. This morning is a bit different. Gary was up early because he got called out to work. He quickly mowed the lawn (sorry neighbors! 7:30 is a bit early). I made him an egg sandwich (and one for myself) and kissed him good-bye. The rest of the ducks received varied breakfasts (do you all eat the same thing every morning?), Simon received his meds, folks got dressed or were dressed (Penny), duck duties completed, Penny watched coo-coo clock videos on you tube. . . yada yada yada. 10:00 came and there was a break in the action. Time to find jeans and a sweatshirt.
About 9:30 Penny began climbing the shelves in her closet in order to get her pacifier. She was none too happy when I removed my little monkey and put her pacifiers in my bedroom. She can't open our bedroom door yet. She threw one massive fit which included jiggling the door handle in one last ditch effort to get them. So when I went to the bedroom to get dressed--the door handle was broken. I can't get in my bedroom. I can not open the door. It is not locked. It is broken. No clothes. No contacts. No deodorant. No comb. No bra. No Gary home to remove the handle and figure it out. Nope.
I was getting dressed so we could do to the Dollar Store. You can imagine the fall-out when I said we weren't going. I will not be going out in public in my current condition. So, the older kids are playing Mario and Penny is getting into the boys' things while they are distracted with video games. You know--good mama kinds of activities. :) We are hosting a Seder in our home tonight. Hopefully I'll be dressed by then.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Jet-puffed
I forgot marshmallows. I worked so hard this morning to try and remember everything for school. I went to the grocery store with the ducks for the first time in a month. I was very happy about that. I needed to remember to make a pie (for the school auction), get the special snack ready for Noel's class (she is the star today!), do some special homework with Garrison, and some more of the same.
We got a late start on lunch, so while the kids ate I made a pie. As an aside--this pie was not my best. It wasn't even number 70 on my pie list. It was quick. It was easy. It was from the church cook-book so I know it is a winner. Is it wrong that I chose an easy pie? The thought did cross my mind that no one will know it is my pie, so it doesn't have to be fabulous. What a horrible selfish thought!?! I should always give my best. I realized my error and then also realized that my best today is an easy pie. I also packed snacks for the boys and got the snack ready for Noel's class. Then of course I had to clean up one messy-moo Penny. Who gave that girl coconut anyway? Her mom must be crazy.
So we made it to school and I remembered everything--except the marshmallows. Noel's class is making resurrection rolls. They roll the marshmallow in butter, cinnamon and sugar. Christ's body was anointed with spices. Then those sweet kids put the marshmallow in the tomb (a crescent roll). After it is baked: the marshmallow is gone! Amazing! :) I know she'll have a blast.
For the past month, I've been skating by. I haven't looked at my calendar. I haven't been cooking (I made my first supper on Tuesday!). I haven't been cleaning. I'm not even sure where some of our things are. Suddenly life has caught up with me. I'm feeling a little. . . like I'm slipping under the water at times. I know we'll get there. I know my family is going to be fine. I know I'll find my cleaning cloth at some point. I know that there will be moldy/smelly stuff emerging from the fridge as the days go on. (I'm not exactly sure what is in the fridge. Hey, I do love a surprise!)
BUT . . .
We are together now. The grave is empty! We will be together forever. That trumps clean fridges, perfectly folded laundry, and marshmallows.
We got a late start on lunch, so while the kids ate I made a pie. As an aside--this pie was not my best. It wasn't even number 70 on my pie list. It was quick. It was easy. It was from the church cook-book so I know it is a winner. Is it wrong that I chose an easy pie? The thought did cross my mind that no one will know it is my pie, so it doesn't have to be fabulous. What a horrible selfish thought!?! I should always give my best. I realized my error and then also realized that my best today is an easy pie. I also packed snacks for the boys and got the snack ready for Noel's class. Then of course I had to clean up one messy-moo Penny. Who gave that girl coconut anyway? Her mom must be crazy.
So we made it to school and I remembered everything--except the marshmallows. Noel's class is making resurrection rolls. They roll the marshmallow in butter, cinnamon and sugar. Christ's body was anointed with spices. Then those sweet kids put the marshmallow in the tomb (a crescent roll). After it is baked: the marshmallow is gone! Amazing! :) I know she'll have a blast.
For the past month, I've been skating by. I haven't looked at my calendar. I haven't been cooking (I made my first supper on Tuesday!). I haven't been cleaning. I'm not even sure where some of our things are. Suddenly life has caught up with me. I'm feeling a little. . . like I'm slipping under the water at times. I know we'll get there. I know my family is going to be fine. I know I'll find my cleaning cloth at some point. I know that there will be moldy/smelly stuff emerging from the fridge as the days go on. (I'm not exactly sure what is in the fridge. Hey, I do love a surprise!)
BUT . . .
We are together now. The grave is empty! We will be together forever. That trumps clean fridges, perfectly folded laundry, and marshmallows.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
And then there was one.
Raise your hand if you only have one tube in your body?
See Simon? His hand is raised!!!
Today's procedure went great! Sedation, quick, looks good, bandage for two days, a few scars. . . we are good. We also had an appointment with Dr. Dahl who is helping us to fight his infection. Some of his numbers are still too high and some are still too low. But considering what we've been through, everything is looking great. We'll continue to give him iv antibiotics at home. Gary and I are fabulous nurses. Fabulous! We even gave him his medication on the way to Grand Rapids today and I pulled off the highway to turn off the pump and flush it. Gary either gets up in the night or stays up late to give him his meds. We will be getting this boy well! Yes indeed.
He seems to be his old self for the most part. We are getting there and are enjoying seeing his personality emerge. I like him.
See Simon? His hand is raised!!!
Today's procedure went great! Sedation, quick, looks good, bandage for two days, a few scars. . . we are good. We also had an appointment with Dr. Dahl who is helping us to fight his infection. Some of his numbers are still too high and some are still too low. But considering what we've been through, everything is looking great. We'll continue to give him iv antibiotics at home. Gary and I are fabulous nurses. Fabulous! We even gave him his medication on the way to Grand Rapids today and I pulled off the highway to turn off the pump and flush it. Gary either gets up in the night or stays up late to give him his meds. We will be getting this boy well! Yes indeed.
He seems to be his old self for the most part. We are getting there and are enjoying seeing his personality emerge. I like him.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Back to normal?
HI
After blogging every day over the latest Simon developments, it has been good to take a little break. Our whole family just got to "be" over the past few days. We had some catching up to do!
Simon is currently at school. I cried as I walked in the door: he is in school! Though he can't play on the playground and he has two tubes sticking out of his body--he is there. He is beaming as he sees his friends. He thrives around kids his age, so it is cool that he was able to go today. He may go to bed at 6:00, but that is o.k.
We aren't completely back to normal though. We flush his drain twice a day. We give him iv antibiotics three times a day (8:30, 4:30, and 12:30). We have appointments in Grand Rapids. A nurse is coming this afternoon to draw his blood for tests. Dinner is being brought in again tonight and two other times this week. Other abnormalities are that things don't bug me as much as they used to. Simon is a leaner. He saddles up next to you and the next thing you know, he is either sitting on your lap or leaning against you. It used to bug me at times. Stop leaning on me! Yesterday at church he was standing by me and the next thing I know, he is leaning on me. I loved it! My boy was doing his thing. I'll need to remember that in four weeks when I'm sick of him leaning on me again. :)
What is normal is that we are all under one roof. We all attended church on Sunday--I wept again: shocker. We all sat down to eat together for the first time in over three weeks. We read books together. We all looked for Easter Eggs. Plus, Simon even threw a small fit this morning because he didn't want to do his duck duties. It made me kinda happy. That is normal.
One last abnormal thing: God's people. We are to live in the world, but to be different. . . to show Christ. In this Easter season, I've never before seen Christ like I have the past three weeks. We need to be abnormal. Yesterday at church so many folks told me that they were praying for me. I can't even describe how that feels. I just know that God took care of us because of it. God wrapped His big arms around us and not once did we doubt Him or question the situation. In my darkest moments when my mind would go to horrific places--Christ lifted me up because of all of the support from His children. It is so awesome! I am changed. I hope I am forever changed. I was broken by God and accepted the help that was offered. I learned to say "yes" more rather than try to do it all. I learned new ways of helping others in the future. I pray that I never forget.
So what is next for Simon? Our first hope is that his drain will come out sometime this week. Then in three to four weeks, we hope that the pic line will come out and he'll be able to be off of antibiotics. This would also mean he could ride his bike, play in the dirt, and jump on the trampoline. A few weeks after that, he'll have surgery again to take out his appendix. Now, could that plan be changed? Of course. Will we be surprised? Nope. After the past month we are prepared for surprises. Will we lean on God and His people? You bet!
After blogging every day over the latest Simon developments, it has been good to take a little break. Our whole family just got to "be" over the past few days. We had some catching up to do!
Simon is currently at school. I cried as I walked in the door: he is in school! Though he can't play on the playground and he has two tubes sticking out of his body--he is there. He is beaming as he sees his friends. He thrives around kids his age, so it is cool that he was able to go today. He may go to bed at 6:00, but that is o.k.
We aren't completely back to normal though. We flush his drain twice a day. We give him iv antibiotics three times a day (8:30, 4:30, and 12:30). We have appointments in Grand Rapids. A nurse is coming this afternoon to draw his blood for tests. Dinner is being brought in again tonight and two other times this week. Other abnormalities are that things don't bug me as much as they used to. Simon is a leaner. He saddles up next to you and the next thing you know, he is either sitting on your lap or leaning against you. It used to bug me at times. Stop leaning on me! Yesterday at church he was standing by me and the next thing I know, he is leaning on me. I loved it! My boy was doing his thing. I'll need to remember that in four weeks when I'm sick of him leaning on me again. :)
What is normal is that we are all under one roof. We all attended church on Sunday--I wept again: shocker. We all sat down to eat together for the first time in over three weeks. We read books together. We all looked for Easter Eggs. Plus, Simon even threw a small fit this morning because he didn't want to do his duck duties. It made me kinda happy. That is normal.
One last abnormal thing: God's people. We are to live in the world, but to be different. . . to show Christ. In this Easter season, I've never before seen Christ like I have the past three weeks. We need to be abnormal. Yesterday at church so many folks told me that they were praying for me. I can't even describe how that feels. I just know that God took care of us because of it. God wrapped His big arms around us and not once did we doubt Him or question the situation. In my darkest moments when my mind would go to horrific places--Christ lifted me up because of all of the support from His children. It is so awesome! I am changed. I hope I am forever changed. I was broken by God and accepted the help that was offered. I learned to say "yes" more rather than try to do it all. I learned new ways of helping others in the future. I pray that I never forget.
So what is next for Simon? Our first hope is that his drain will come out sometime this week. Then in three to four weeks, we hope that the pic line will come out and he'll be able to be off of antibiotics. This would also mean he could ride his bike, play in the dirt, and jump on the trampoline. A few weeks after that, he'll have surgery again to take out his appendix. Now, could that plan be changed? Of course. Will we be surprised? Nope. After the past month we are prepared for surprises. Will we lean on God and His people? You bet!
Friday, April 6, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tomorrow!
Here is the skinny.
1. Simon will have another surgery/procedure tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. They will be looking at the drains and seeing how everything is healing and if they can pull any of the tubes out. We are hoping for two, but are expecting one. Pray for two!
2. If everything looks good with the drains, we will be coming home. COMING HOME! Day 19 and we will be coming home. Me and Simon. Together in a car. He'll breathe outside air. Gary will be sleeping at home. All of our ducks will be under one roof. We'll eat together. Gary and I will tuck everyone in their own bed--including us. Home.
*3. As an aside, Simon's tumor came into play today for the first time. They are giving him antibiotics for longer than usual because his tumor, if given the chance, could be the perfect place for an infection to set in. They want to make sure that ALL of the infection is taken care of. Since there are no other cases to be found, the doctor is treating it as best as she can with the knowledge she has. Thankfully, our Father knows exactly how Simon is knit together: He did it Himself! Though we'll be home, he'll still have two or three tubes in him and antibiotics every eight hours given by a visiting nurse. So, if you still feel led to pray for us, this would be a good cause.
1. Simon will have another surgery/procedure tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. They will be looking at the drains and seeing how everything is healing and if they can pull any of the tubes out. We are hoping for two, but are expecting one. Pray for two!
2. If everything looks good with the drains, we will be coming home. COMING HOME! Day 19 and we will be coming home. Me and Simon. Together in a car. He'll breathe outside air. Gary will be sleeping at home. All of our ducks will be under one roof. We'll eat together. Gary and I will tuck everyone in their own bed--including us. Home.
*3. As an aside, Simon's tumor came into play today for the first time. They are giving him antibiotics for longer than usual because his tumor, if given the chance, could be the perfect place for an infection to set in. They want to make sure that ALL of the infection is taken care of. Since there are no other cases to be found, the doctor is treating it as best as she can with the knowledge she has. Thankfully, our Father knows exactly how Simon is knit together: He did it Himself! Though we'll be home, he'll still have two or three tubes in him and antibiotics every eight hours given by a visiting nurse. So, if you still feel led to pray for us, this would be a good cause.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Ifs. . .
I'm not yelling yet. I'm not woo-hooing yet. I'm not dancing around yet. I'm not jumping and acting all crazy so my kids ask me to stop yet. Not yet. Soon though.
Right now I'm whispering. Shhh. I'd like to tell you something, but I will whisper. Do I have your ear? I'll try not to be too breathy so it tickles your ear--I can't stand that! Simon might be coming home on Friday.
There are a few "ifs", so I've been spending some time with my Father God and talking with Him about it. I've also become a little more pushy. I think that it's o.k. Parents whose kids have been in the hospital for 17 days are allowed to ask a few more questions. They are allowed to call a doctor at home when the doctor didn't come in and visit them. (Yup, we did that.) They are allowed to bring in Ben and Jerry's ice cream so that the calorie count on their son goes higher. I'm normally not so pushy (I don't think so. Gary?!? Mom?!?), but I'm a mama bear and it is time for us to return to our cave. We need a little family time. I need me some Gary time.
So here are the ifs.
1. He needs to take in more calories. Someone somehow thought that Simon had lost huge amounts of weight since he got sick. Here is the thing. He isn't a big kid. He. Is. Chinese. Do you know lots of large Chinese people? There's that one crazy basketball star, but the Chinese excel in ping pong and something called snooker (?), not basketball or football. Let's do a search of all the Chinese players in the NFL. Hmmm. Yes, Simon has lost weight. He didn't have much to lose (again, Chinese small person. . . but so stinkin cute!). We'll get it back on him. We'll give him bacon and ice cream and fried fish and we'll make him lift weights. (Nope, we won't do that.) I think he'll be o.k. in the "returning back to normal size" category.
2. He needed to switch to an antibiotic that could be given at home. There wasn't one that could be taken orally. Boo. Dr. Dahl (the infections disease doctor that I called at home last night--pushy mama remember?) thought there might be one she could switch him to that was every eight hours that would cover his infections. She decided to do this today. TODAY! Do you know what that says to me? He might be coming home! Oops, that was a little loud. I have to remember to whisper.
3. The tubes. The plan (last I heard) was to inject contrast dye into his abscesses on Thursday and see what is going on. They aren't excited about sending Simon home with three tubes coming out of his belly. I'm not excited about that either although I'd still take him home! So we are really hoping and praying and praying some more that one or two (please!!) of the tubes could come out on Thursday. We really want those abscesses to be closed!!!
I'm planning on being at the hospital both today and tomorrow. This will be really hard for my other kids: especially Penny. Boy that girl gets very upset anytime someone comes over and mom might be leaving. She also wakes up screaming every night. It isn't fun. Last night she finally fell back asleep on the floor in front of her door. This child needs her parents to be home on a more regular basis.
So, if I get news tomorrow and if it is good and if your windows are open, you might hear me laughing and shouting and clapping and jumping from the 9th floor of Helen DeVos Children's Hospital. Then I might have to get on the phone and rent a trailer or something to get all of Simon's gear home. :)
Right now I'm whispering. Shhh. I'd like to tell you something, but I will whisper. Do I have your ear? I'll try not to be too breathy so it tickles your ear--I can't stand that! Simon might be coming home on Friday.
There are a few "ifs", so I've been spending some time with my Father God and talking with Him about it. I've also become a little more pushy. I think that it's o.k. Parents whose kids have been in the hospital for 17 days are allowed to ask a few more questions. They are allowed to call a doctor at home when the doctor didn't come in and visit them. (Yup, we did that.) They are allowed to bring in Ben and Jerry's ice cream so that the calorie count on their son goes higher. I'm normally not so pushy (I don't think so. Gary?!? Mom?!?), but I'm a mama bear and it is time for us to return to our cave. We need a little family time. I need me some Gary time.
So here are the ifs.
1. He needs to take in more calories. Someone somehow thought that Simon had lost huge amounts of weight since he got sick. Here is the thing. He isn't a big kid. He. Is. Chinese. Do you know lots of large Chinese people? There's that one crazy basketball star, but the Chinese excel in ping pong and something called snooker (?), not basketball or football. Let's do a search of all the Chinese players in the NFL. Hmmm. Yes, Simon has lost weight. He didn't have much to lose (again, Chinese small person. . . but so stinkin cute!). We'll get it back on him. We'll give him bacon and ice cream and fried fish and we'll make him lift weights. (Nope, we won't do that.) I think he'll be o.k. in the "returning back to normal size" category.
2. He needed to switch to an antibiotic that could be given at home. There wasn't one that could be taken orally. Boo. Dr. Dahl (the infections disease doctor that I called at home last night--pushy mama remember?) thought there might be one she could switch him to that was every eight hours that would cover his infections. She decided to do this today. TODAY! Do you know what that says to me? He might be coming home! Oops, that was a little loud. I have to remember to whisper.
3. The tubes. The plan (last I heard) was to inject contrast dye into his abscesses on Thursday and see what is going on. They aren't excited about sending Simon home with three tubes coming out of his belly. I'm not excited about that either although I'd still take him home! So we are really hoping and praying and praying some more that one or two (please!!) of the tubes could come out on Thursday. We really want those abscesses to be closed!!!
I'm planning on being at the hospital both today and tomorrow. This will be really hard for my other kids: especially Penny. Boy that girl gets very upset anytime someone comes over and mom might be leaving. She also wakes up screaming every night. It isn't fun. Last night she finally fell back asleep on the floor in front of her door. This child needs her parents to be home on a more regular basis.
So, if I get news tomorrow and if it is good and if your windows are open, you might hear me laughing and shouting and clapping and jumping from the 9th floor of Helen DeVos Children's Hospital. Then I might have to get on the phone and rent a trailer or something to get all of Simon's gear home. :)
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sunny Days
Hi.
Thanks for checking in again! I woke up last night and listened to the thunder storm--a favorite. I love them. I love listening. I love feeling cozy. I feel like it is a very special message to me from God saying "I know you love storms Shanda. Enjoy it. I made it for you." Then, I got to experience it again from the 9th floor at the hospital. We were sitting in it and Simon and I enjoyed watching it storm around us.
After a down day yesterday, well, we Spricks. . . we bounced back. We are making headway and just playing a "wait and heal and gain weight" game. Gary and I took a little class tonight to learn how to handle Simon's pic line in his arm. We'll be managing it at home. Doesn't that sound great? "At home." Lovely.
This is what is holding us back. Infection and Weight. The infection is a bit of a problem as there isn't an oral antibiotic that Simon can take and the antibiotic he is on isn't conducive to be given at home. See the problem? Also, one of his doctors thinks that he needs to gain a bunch more weight. Granted he has lost a bunch of weight, but he wasn't a large boy to begin with. Right now we are pushing the calories (Why can't I have this problem!!!). I even bought Ben and Jerry's ice cream for him in an effort to gets lots of calories and fat in my boy.
Overall I'm encouraged and hopeful, although I know that things may change tomorrow. For today though. . . it was good. We may come home this week-end or we may be there another week or two. When I get discouraged about it I remember an experience that Gary had in the elevator this afternoon. He was riding with another dad and they got to chatting. Gary shared that we had been in the hospital now for 16 days. The dad nodded and acknowledged that 16 days is a long time. Then he shared that his child was in for 139.
Simon will not be in for 139 days.
Simon will come home sooner rather than later.
We will all sleep under one roof.
We have seen God's Hand through His people.
We will see more of God's Hand through His people.
When I get to heaven I can try to gain weight too.
Thanks for checking in again! I woke up last night and listened to the thunder storm--a favorite. I love them. I love listening. I love feeling cozy. I feel like it is a very special message to me from God saying "I know you love storms Shanda. Enjoy it. I made it for you." Then, I got to experience it again from the 9th floor at the hospital. We were sitting in it and Simon and I enjoyed watching it storm around us.
After a down day yesterday, well, we Spricks. . . we bounced back. We are making headway and just playing a "wait and heal and gain weight" game. Gary and I took a little class tonight to learn how to handle Simon's pic line in his arm. We'll be managing it at home. Doesn't that sound great? "At home." Lovely.
This is what is holding us back. Infection and Weight. The infection is a bit of a problem as there isn't an oral antibiotic that Simon can take and the antibiotic he is on isn't conducive to be given at home. See the problem? Also, one of his doctors thinks that he needs to gain a bunch more weight. Granted he has lost a bunch of weight, but he wasn't a large boy to begin with. Right now we are pushing the calories (Why can't I have this problem!!!). I even bought Ben and Jerry's ice cream for him in an effort to gets lots of calories and fat in my boy.
Overall I'm encouraged and hopeful, although I know that things may change tomorrow. For today though. . . it was good. We may come home this week-end or we may be there another week or two. When I get discouraged about it I remember an experience that Gary had in the elevator this afternoon. He was riding with another dad and they got to chatting. Gary shared that we had been in the hospital now for 16 days. The dad nodded and acknowledged that 16 days is a long time. Then he shared that his child was in for 139.
Simon will not be in for 139 days.
Simon will come home sooner rather than later.
We will all sleep under one roof.
We have seen God's Hand through His people.
We will see more of God's Hand through His people.
When I get to heaven I can try to gain weight too.
Monday, April 2, 2012
I love my God!
A friend sent me this devotional today. It gives voice and vocabulary to what I've been thinking and praying about. I was also blessed today to have another friend babysit last minute so that I could go to the hospital and just be with Gary. We held each other, cried together, and encouraged each other. It was also great to see Simon. He was eating, smiling and in wonderful spirits (until I bathed him and made him take a walk!). He has bounced back from this procedure better than any of the others--another reason to give thanks. Thanks. I have a long list of thank-yous that I'll be writing at some point. I've been broken--another reason to give thanks. I've had to let people into my world. I've had to let go of my pride (messy house, dirty dishes in sink, crazy/fabulous kids) and just say "thanks". Perhaps that is one of the reasons for the delay in Simon's recovery. God knew it would take awhile. We are being delivered. Hope that you enjoy and perhaps the Holy Spirit knows that you need this like I did.
God as Deliverer
I was thinking about the name of Jesus. How it means "God saves," or, "God is our deliverer, our salvation."
Which got me to thinking about the idea of God as Deliverer, as opposed to, say, the preferred idea of God as Preventer. It made me realize how much I want God to be my Preventer more than Deliverer, meaning, I want him to prevent bad things from happening in my life. Prevent means it never happens to me. Deliver means I am in deep trouble and need God to rescue me. I think we all prefer the notion of God as Preventer.
And yet, God is so much more often presented in the Bible as Deliverer. My goodness, just read the Psalms. "Arise, O Lord! Deliver me!" (3:7). "Deliver my life from the sword" (22:20). "For he will deliver the needy who cry out" (72:12). And just think about the history of God's people; it is one deliverance after another. Paul's life is as well, which causes him to say, "On him we have set our hope, that he will continue to deliver us" (2 Cor. 1:10).
Not prevent. Deliver. It is a very different view of life with God.
Now, let me be quick to say that I believe God is also our Preventer. Scripture also presents him as our shield. And we have no idea all that he has shielded us from. Which is actually my point. You don't notice God as Preventer, or shield, because you don't know what was going to happen to you since God shielded you from it. All we experience is those things where we need God to rescue us, to be our Deliverer.
I think it would be helpful to come to terms with how much we'd all prefer God to be our Preventer. Because when we hold fast to this view, we experience a lot of turmoil with all those things that don't get prevented. Why did God...how come this...did I not.... You know how this works. Notice how when he doesn't prevent bad things from happening, it often throws us for a loop. We get shaken. We go to doubt, or some sort of self-accusation and blame. It causes a lot of distress.
But when we realize God is our Deliverer, it helps us not be thrown by the fact that we sometimes find ourselves thrown into the furnace. God has not abandoned us. We have not blown it. We understand God is far more Deliverer than Preventer, and we can then cry out with confidence "O God, deliver me" and wait with hopeful expectation that he will deliver.
By John Eldredge
Good news/Bad news
It isn't great to blog when you are feeling very raw, but I'm doing it anyway. Sometimes on a journey it is good to remember the real feelings and thoughts that aren't filtered--so that I can go back and see.
Good news: The first drain tube came out. Yeah!
Bad news: They discovered another abscess and put in a new drain tube. What?!?
I'm so teary and discouraged. I know he will be fine. I know His Maker holds him in the palm of His hand. I know I know I know. But right now I have tears pouring down my face and am wondering when this is going to end? When? Pastor Dominic talked in church yesterday about expectations. Well, I had some great expectations and them blam-o--what an explosion. This means more pain for my guy. This means more hospital time. This means more antibiotics and possibly a different kind. More pokes. More surgeries. More anesthesia. More bad.
Yup--it will also allow God to show us more of His goodness and grace. Right now though, I don't feel that. I don't feel the goodness and the grace. I just feel the effects of sin that is coming through suffering at the moment. I'll get there. I promise. I know God is next to us is a very real and personal way and that later I'll see.
I'm making an unexpected trip up there in a this afternoon to just be with Gary. We need to hug and pray and cry and love on Simon together. I'm thankful for folks who will drop their afternoon plans to come here for a few hours.
Good news: The first drain tube came out. Yeah!
Bad news: They discovered another abscess and put in a new drain tube. What?!?
I'm so teary and discouraged. I know he will be fine. I know His Maker holds him in the palm of His hand. I know I know I know. But right now I have tears pouring down my face and am wondering when this is going to end? When? Pastor Dominic talked in church yesterday about expectations. Well, I had some great expectations and them blam-o--what an explosion. This means more pain for my guy. This means more hospital time. This means more antibiotics and possibly a different kind. More pokes. More surgeries. More anesthesia. More bad.
Yup--it will also allow God to show us more of His goodness and grace. Right now though, I don't feel that. I don't feel the goodness and the grace. I just feel the effects of sin that is coming through suffering at the moment. I'll get there. I promise. I know God is next to us is a very real and personal way and that later I'll see.
I'm making an unexpected trip up there in a this afternoon to just be with Gary. We need to hug and pray and cry and love on Simon together. I'm thankful for folks who will drop their afternoon plans to come here for a few hours.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
tubes anyone?
Simon had another iv put in today. He is having a procedure done tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. Sedation, contrast (to see what the abscesses are doing), ct scan and possible removal of one or more tubes. He doesn't like to go downstairs: scary. He's been there three times to be sedated already. So, could you please. . .
Pray for calm for Simon.
Pray that everything is looking good--healing like it is supposed to.
Pray that tubes may begin coming out!
Pray that he begins to eat more and can become self-sustaining.
Pray that both Simon and Gary get a good night of sleep.
Hopefully the next time you hear from me I'll be able to report that he has less than five tubes in him. Wouldn't that be fun?!?
Thanks a ton!
Pray for calm for Simon.
Pray that everything is looking good--healing like it is supposed to.
Pray that tubes may begin coming out!
Pray that he begins to eat more and can become self-sustaining.
Pray that both Simon and Gary get a good night of sleep.
Hopefully the next time you hear from me I'll be able to report that he has less than five tubes in him. Wouldn't that be fun?!?
Thanks a ton!
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