Retreat

I went on a retreat today. My mom offered and insisted (I have a hard time identifying that I need help AND I have a hard time asking for help!) that she take the kids for the afternoon. All of them. I dropped them off at her house and went back to our house so that I could work on my presentation for the conference. It is next week! Next Week! What?!?

I had a wonderful afternoon. I was able to do some real work without taking a break to answer questions, make food, or wipe butts.

Thanks mom. Thanks for helping make my dreams come true.

Done

I'm done.

1. I'm done with the baby swing. That beautiful gadget that saved my sanity so many times, that put three of our four children to sleep many a time and entertained them for hours. That piece of equipment that took up so much space, but was so worth it. It is done. It is put away in the basement never to be used in this house again. No more Sprick babies.

2.I'm done with being on the Camp Roger board. I'm wearing my red acorn sweatshirt today in honor of the occasion. I've been involved in some way with camp since 1993. That is a long run. Tonight is my last board meeting. I'll miss it. I'll miss being tied to camp in some way. Next summer my boys will be able to attend as campers. In fact, when Garrison was born we received a bouquet of flowers at the hospital with a card that read "see you in Ottawa in 2012". That seemed like a lifetime away the day after Garrison was born. (Ottawa is a cabin on boys hill at Camp Roger.)

3. I'm done with having the computer on my lap while Penny is awake. The left arrow button is gone.

4. I'm done with cheap deodorant. It was a good deal. I didn't pay much. Yup, I'm done with that. It isn't worth the "apply and reapply" several times a day. I'll pay the extra buck or two and be comfortable.

Simon's list

Simon's birthday is coming up (woo-hoo! yipp-eee) and so I invited the fam over for a birthday partay! I received an e-mail from my sister who is taking charge of the gift. (Rather than lots of presents which drives me crazy, we have all the aunts and uncles chip in and get one nice gift. Grammy of course gives gift. She is after all, Grammy.) Tricia (my sister for those who might not know--love her!) asked for some ideas for gifts for Simon. Are we all on the same page? There were a lot of these "( )" in the above sentences.

Summary: Simon's birthday--What to get?

I sat on the couch with Simon and asked him this question. "Simon, what would you like to get for your birthday?" "Stuff". Since it can be a bit difficult to find "stuff", I asked him for a little clarification. Here is his list typed verbatim.

New pets

Iron Man coloring book

A new blanket

Toys

Iron Man toys

Spiderman toys

Bad guys toys

Transformer toys

Some stuff to give to Penny

Another monster truck toy thing

A race car thing

Race cars

More race cars

A new book: like transformer books and like animal books, and karate stuff

New Legos (Trio blocks)

Did you see the cutest line in the middle? Some stuff to give to Penny. He is such a little caretaker I can hardly stand it! Some lady some day is going to fall deeply in love with him and he'll take such great care of her. . . and their kids. . . . and I'll love watching. Can you tell he is a five year old boy? Hilarious! Oh, and my sister better not get us a new pet!!!

Friends are Friends forever

I went to a concert Thursday night. It was Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant. In my estimation it wasn't really a concert, it was fabulous walk through my middle school, high school, and college years. I learned some things during the concert. Let me share. :)

1. Things happen in my heart where music is concerned. I love how God created us with music in our lives. Thank you Jesus!

2. Music by Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith can make me giggle. Seriously, giggle. A song would begin (El Shaddai, Rockettown, Thy Word) and I would giggle. I'm not sure where these songs have been, but they are right there. . . ready to come out.

3. My cousin Julie rocks. She is "woman" and I am "woman". She was a year older than me. We camped together, family blah blah, Calvin. . . I love her and over the years, well, the big Koeman family just doesn't get together as often, I moved to Florida and Chicago, she moved from Notre Dame and out to Iowa. . . .We went to the concert. We laughed together. She drove five hours just to go to this concert with me. I can't think of anyone else I would have wanted to see it with. (Gary for the record was a willing babysitter as he was NOT, I repeat NOT interested!) It was awesome.

4.I think that I would like to have helpers like what I saw on stage. They moved equipment and got supplies. Imagine if I had this in my house!

5. Even the worst seat in the house can be great. You think I'm kidding. I'm not. The concert was at a rather large area church. They sold tickets by the row. We were in the last row on the far side. I had the worst seat. Julie had the third worst seat. (The person opposite me had the second worst.) I wasn't disappointed. It was kinda funny. Seriously? This is our seat? This was the best available? We found the positive: We don't have anyone behind us. The other people in our row had binoculars. Mine were still in the car. I keep them there.

6. The last time I went to a Michael W. Smith concert, I stood the whole time. I didn't have to do that this time. Yeah!

7. I knew every song except one. One.

8. There were some songs. . I could picture events in my life. Mowing the lawn with my walkman on. Going to a Young Calvinist Convention. . . can you say hug line? Posing with the life size picture of Michael that was on third Veenstra at Calvin. I've had some great times. Great.

It was a great concert and a really fun night. Now if only James Taylor was coming to town.

My boys

I love my boys both so much. They play great together. They fight not so well together. I love how God created them both in such great and different ways.

Example #1

The boys each picked up the children's bulletin as we walked into church. They are able to do more of the activities as they get older. Pretty cool. Simon sat on one side of me while Garrison was on the other. Garrison worked on each page asking what the instructions were. Simon put his head down and went to work. After church I had a chance to look at their bulletins. Garrison had finished every page. Each part was done correctly. He was so very proud. Way to go first born son! Simon had completed each page as well, but not in the way it was intended. He had made the people on the front into superheros. There was a superhero on each page. He was proud of the work that he had done. Way to go middle child! :)

Example #2

Tonight Garrison stayed home from church (no nap) and so I read him books and a Bible Story before bed. The Bible story was about the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. As I read to Garrison, he became agitated and a bit frightened as Pharaoh approached the Israelites. He couldn't sit still and he kept looking away from the book. I turned the page and started to read about how God sent a wind and the water piled up. . . Garrison started to clap. I looked at his face and saw pure joy! Isn't that the best?!? My kid was so excited about what God was doing. We praised God together. When Simon and Noel came home, I read the same story to them. Simon began asking questions before the story was even over. How did God make the cloud? Why couldn't they swim? Did Pharaoh have a boat? Did the Israelites get mud on them? I had a difficult time finishing the story. The questions didn't stop. Before prayer, after prayer, on the way to his bed, after I tucked him in. . . Simon asked hundreds of questions every day. He has to get things all set in his head. It is something I love about him, although there are times it drives me crazy.

Yup, I love my boys. Love them. Love that they are so very different. Thanks for indulging me.

My thumb

Sitting at Bible Study this morning (a few tears shed this morning because God was talking to ME) I looked down and saw my thumb. Sounds strange I know, but it was my dad's thumb. I gazed at it and thought about my dad, about his hands and how I love them, and about our meeting on Sunday. Lots of thinking this morning I guess.

I had several friends tell me on Sunday that they were praying for me, for our family. I had several messages reminding me of prayers or asking how it went. I know there are more people who took up my blog challenge to bathe us with prayers. Thanks. This community of believers overwhelms me. I'm teary eyed right now. You bless me.

How did it go? I'm not sure where to begin. First let me say that I can only speak for me. I do not speak for dad, for my mom, or for my siblings in this post. This is Shanda. This is what I'm thinking and feeling. I'm feeling happy, discouraged, confused, sad, disappointed, hopeful, and so much more. Doing what is right isn't always the easiest. I don't know what I thought was going to happen or how I was going to feel, but it wasn't what I expected. . . what I wanted it to be. Perhaps I'm grieving that a little bit. In hindsight, I think I wanted it to go really well or go really bad. Instead, it was there. Dad seems to be doing well, I just wanted him to be doing better than what he is. I wanted us to function as a family. Truth is, we've been doing really well as a family. We've been learning and growing. We've been praying together and banding together. We are taking great care of each other. We are communicating in new and better ways. We are celebrating new lives together. Dad hasn't been there. Dad doesn't know. Dad throws a wrench into what has become a pretty cool machine. We've recovered from the initial trauma and have emerged so much stronger and better. The kicker is, he belongs in our family. He belongs in the machine. It is just hard to reorganize or re-purpose perhaps something that is quite beautiful, something that we've worked so hard to create, knowing that there are going to be lots of kinks and troubles and breakdowns ahead. It is hard. So. Very. Hard. Plus, there will always be doubt. In the end, I'll never be able to fully trust him again. I'll always be watching and questioning. Always.

Here is the phrase that was said over and over to me this morning by God. "Reversal of Destiny". God can and does come into our lives and change everything. . . in a moments notice. . . for His Glory Alone. It is all through the Bible. Abraham, Moses, Esther, David. . . they all worked. They tried their best. God made big things happen, He changed their destiny. He can do it with my family too. . . .He can do it for me! For right now, I need to pick up my head, grieve when I need to, and continue to look ahead. Yes, we are dismantling a really good thing. I need to celebrate what new and wonderful thing God is creating. I just wish He would hurry up. :)

Lesson Learned

My fingers are very cold.

I just got inside from the garage where I was looking for a recipe. Funny place for a recipe eh? Here goes. . .

At the beginning on the week, I made two new recipes--cookies. They were o.k. If you need a reference, check back a couple of posts. I thought they were o.k. I'm in love with almond flavored baked goods and I had cut out a recipe a long (months? years? not sure.) ago. I shared one of the cookies with my mom and she agreed with me that they were just o.k., but the flavor at the end was nice. I decided that I wouldn't be making it again. I've been trying to reduce the amount of stuff in my house, so I recycled the recipe. There it goes, into the bin. You can guess what is about to happen.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning at Bible Study. We (my group) is laughing at my new haircut and how I let Gary cut my hair and the talk turns to the cookies. They like them. They like both recipes. I have one, but remember. . . recycling. Tuesday morning is garbage day. Gary puts the stuff out on Monday night. I'm sorry, I don't think I have the almond one anymore. I return home with the promise of sharing the one that I still have.

Gary didn't put the garbage out. It was cold, we only had one bag and one recycling bin. He decided to wait a week. I look for the recipe. Can't find it. Gary brings in a bunch of the papers so I can look for it. No recipe. I send a message to Sara who had asked for it. "Sorry babe. I can't find it." She told me she wouldn't be my friend for two weeks. (She is just kidding.)

This morning I get an e-mail from my leader. She would like the almond recipe as she and another woman asked for it as well. It has to be there.

I lay down towels on the carpet. I bring in the recycling bin. I start sifting. Penny tries to eat the papers. Simon and Garrison discover papers that were "theirs". "Mom, why did you throw this away? Mom, can I cut this out? Mom, this is my special coupon." The bin tips over because Penny is a stander. You know how when a baby learns how to stand they just keep trying to do it? I constantly find her standing. I think she does it because she can and it gives her a new perspective on the place. Plus, the only way to get down is to fall. I'm digressing.

As I'm looking I'm praying out loud. Lord, these women would like this recipe. I know I put it in the bin. It has to be here. Please. Help me to find the recipe. I can talk to God about such things. He knows recipes. . . oooh. . . imagine the things we'll eat in heaven! DIGRESSING SHANDA!

I can't find it. Penny has eaten almost a whole page of paper. I bring the bins back out to the garage and start looking some more, hence the cold hands. I'm on the floor of the garage looking for papers. I found some, just not the recipe!

It is gone. Perhaps it blew away one morning when the garage door was opened. Perhaps the recipe thief came in the night and took it.

I've learned that if you are going to serve something, don't throw away the recipe. I'm sorry.

----Post Script-----

After I posted this, I thought I'd try one more thing. While scrounging for the recipe in the recycling tub, I ran across a piece of paper that looked familiar. My heart started pounding a little and I though "I've got it!". It wasn't of course, but it was a page from Relish magazine. I thought I'd take a gander on the Internet. Have you heard of this thing the internet? It is rather amazing. Some call it the World Wide Web. I found the recipe. After ten seconds.

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Hi friends

Yeah! The beauty of the Lord outside: magnificent.

Yeah! I'm finished with our cottage vacation scrapbook.

Yeah! Penny gets to sleep again this morning. I don't have to wake her up to bring kiddos to school.

Yeah! We are in a warm house this morning.

Yeah! I'm getting used to my new haircut.

Yeah! I got a babysitter for our small group Bible Study.

Yeah! Dad is going to counseling with mom. Mom is going to counseling with dad.

Yeah! We are going to get together with dad on Sunday.

Sunday. Mom, Gary and I, and whoever else of my siblings are going to be meeting with dad for the first time on Sunday afternoon. We'll be meeting first with Sarah from O.A.R. and she'll give us some guidance and advice regarding this first meeting. Then, dad will come in and we'll have a little family reunion, all under the guidance of Sarah. Doesn't that sound like a great plan? I believe that it is. Dad continues to make strides forward and a few backward. We are encouraged and have great hope because our God is an awesome God! I know that Sunday will go o.k. because it is being bathed in prayer. Hop in the tub and pray for us. Thanks.