cycle

we can't remember the things we want to remember,

and we can't forget the things we want to forget.

i dont know if u'd even rmbr this.








because of so many conflicting traffic lighting synapses, u end up not even selecting any; blatantly giving up everything.

gloomy day part II

after lunch break in class, totally 0 attention span.
REGRET. 2 days alrdy in a row alrdy.

but it was a good lunch. coz i had mother poon's warm chicken porridge. all packed from home with love. (:

the weather really ah.
otw to sch this morng, wet all the way.

even this kind of sugar rush couldn't help much.

but it tasted so so good.

pls go and try.

comparable to Reeses'.

went gym. but didn't do well. struggled so much on the 3rd sets.
then for fun touch, just felt so 'off'. couldn't find that extra burst.
i felt that i dont deserve to play. hahas. so i went to the specs stand and did some physio work for the knee.


the weather really taking a toll on me.
i'm not blaming the weather. but probably myself for giving so much excuses and reasons to lie comfortably in my comfort zone.



hahas. i'm so right.
looking back at my post dated about 2 wks back about how happy i was to be able to be back on the field again, i did mention about the challange of staying that positive in times of the storm. ahhas.
now in its full literal meaning huh. ahhas


ok. step up sportspoon.

found this is my hd, taken back in 2007 during the N Thailand misson.

its really these distant people that still have a special place in my heart. 

(:

big storm.

the rain so big.

monday blues taking its full toll on the class today.
many were shot down.
hahas
even the lecturer + dry subject combo was not spared.


even Snickers (peanut butter squared style) could not help much.


big rain.



my mind was filled with u.



thank God i'm home early today. 730pm.
thank God no word.
i needed time out man.
though i was wet through in my fav pair of jeans and shoes, i'm happy to have a good warm bath with mother poon's chicken porridge and chicken wrap.
the cold was worth it.

abit of bitter to taste the sweet.





and on the road today, i was reminded how important friction it is to our lives.
though it causes wear and tear, it is vital to our safety.
it applies in all situations in literal terms.

full wkend

had a every full wkend.

Last sat was the start of the WTL league.

both teams were short of numbers but i'm glad we managed to pull through and did quite well!

for the ladies division, we won 9-1

and for mixed divison, we won 7-4

as for my performance, fitness was the obvious factor that needs to be worked on. but, i'm really glad to be back on and running like as if nothing has happened. in fact, i think i'm able to hang in there longer before subbing. (:

went to Hakim's place for Hariraya! 

his mum woke up like 5am to cook for us. the mee rubus was soooo good. and i love the chicken wings man. and u should see the amount of snacks avaliable. all v nice also!

 next was to Sheik's place!

his mum bought this!!

it's sooooo tumblr-worthy can.

its like cake rolled with kinder bueno / snickers/ boost and all.

so so so sinfully good.

and after all that eating, met mother poon, sis and broinlaw for korean buffet at TampinesOne!

so cheap for all the meat we can eat. $24?! and its like good quality meat. i think they should charge like at least $36. if not with ppl like us, they'll make a loss. and i saw that lunch is only $14?! tsk tsk.

so yes. i spend 10-1am running hard like mad. and the next 2-10pm eating like mad.

when i went home, i had to weight myself and indeed, reality check hit me. hahas

just because i can start running and all again, it doesn't mean tt i should be eating as much as i'm starting to run man.

have been working mc delivery.

has been really tiring.

but the $$ has been good. 

-

today i went to church. and as i was happily eating breakfast, i looked up and saw.... you. i almost choked on my fish porridge man.

u nv fail to appear at the least expected place and time of the day. whenever i never expect to see u, i would. and whenever i would want to see u, u're just so far away.

just like when i was in genting. i rmbr turning my head around and u were very unexpectedly in my sight. i still rmbr how hard and fast my heart jumped, and it felt that i've lost all form of communication with my hands and legs. i knew u saw me as well. but, we just failed to have some form of basic greeting or acknowledgement of each other's presence within 10m range especially on foreign ground.

yea. so today, as unexpectedly expected, u were in my head whole time. and many things around me today had to have some contributing factor for me to rmbr u.

like today in macs today, when i saw a rugger, with his trng bag and all, going to meet this girl to study and all... i rmbred how we used to study together and stuff. 

and u know for almost every order sent, i'd have to pass by the place where u held my hand for the first time.

hahas. not that i want to do that, but i had to. 

i still rmbr every single word u said to me. though it was super corny (and u admitted as well) and hilariously 'romantic/ heroic' , i still treasure those words up till this day. 

HAHAS.

ugh.

i hope this is just one night and tmr will be gone for i am very very tired.

i didnt have much time for myself this wk, and so many things to do and they're all on the 'on-hold list'. it its kinda scary if the list gets longer and longer.

vibrations

i earned like $23 from work today. ahhas.

but it's just 7-10.30pm.

hmm. about vibrations.

just some random thought about it

now, dont get too wrong abit it pls

music comes from vibrations.

vibrations can be amplified by wood.

and then everything becomes so beautiful.

however right, vibrations can bring a huge plane down, tear down a man-made solid bridge or even make a building collapse.

that was just a random thought. and it kinda reminds me tt though one is small and insignificant, the power of what one can do can by amplified and the result can be great. and with that power, the outcomes can either be drastically good, or catastrophically bad.

googling crashes of boeing 747s now.

father's poon fav plane.

and also my fav plane.

patient status: DISCHARGED

HELLLOS AVERYBAADY!

i'm finally a discharged patient ! (:


whole body was aching mad toady especially the legs.
he had mercy on me and gave me an easy session. ahahas.
(:

it was the last session today.
finally after 4 months exactly (abt there). indeed.
i could have 3 months but because of all the waiting for the MRI and all.
but oh wells! (:




looking ahead, so much more strengthening to do.
but really, i want to thank God.
it's really through this process that i'm able to take a step back out and move forward again.
but this time, faster, stronger and harder.
i think i shouldn't cut myself some slack anymore in trngs. coz i know that once u're in ur comfort zone, moving of there is gg to be hard. so i hope its gg to be a up sloping gradient! (:




its 0123 now.
and i'm trying to get Use Somebody by Kings of Leon right.
trying to do another cover and i've never spent so much time ever in trying to get some strumming rhythm right.
the song pattern is so deceivingly easy until u try and sing and play tgt at the same time.
for all u guitarist out there, go.and.try.
hahahs. its likka challenge until u try it.
i've probably hit the 'rec' button like 30 times, never really getting pass the first verse when the whole thing suddenly goes off. u can get lost in guitaring. hahhahas.
ok. i needa slp now. tmr its study and work! (:

the rain

finally the rain came.

but everything stood still.



gymmed from 430-7pm can. (ok. -about 40mins whilst nuaing on the mat and refusing to get up)
coz i thought fun touch cancelled. so i went all out man.

so headed down to tp.
and played all out.
yea. after all the squats and all.



whole body feelin it now.
tmr's gg to be great.



today's quite a good day
i passed the CAAS cate B M01 Maths paper
HUAT AH. i wasn't confident of like 5 qns. coz like nv see before. but thank God all went well ah. (:

delivery

sometimes i believe that i can survive in the world on my own....

feelin' likka boss now coz i'm momentarily rich.

worked back at mcdelivery over the past 2 days coz its HariRaya and of course, they'd be short of riders. haha. 

i mean everywhere's short of workers. this really goes to show that we're actually very dependent on the malays in sg for the frontline effort. w/o them, the chinese gotta work hard. and the chinese will complain. malays likka chill only. they do it well. they do it fast. and they dont complain. hahas

after church ytd, worked from 2pm-8pm, 15 orders. appox about $26 in docket (from the trips made only).

today, power. 7am-4pm. 

19 orders. $44.

+ $10 tip in total.

+ $4 hariraya angbao from the company (HAHAS. no, seriously!)

- $2 total petrol fee

+ approx $60 for working pt on hr-ly basis. (hariraya period)

+ lunch given (save $5)

= $121 (omg. ! )

+ get the money (tips, docket, misc.) on the day itself.

+ hot sun. ugly tan lines. rough palms. 

+ very bad for complexion

+ dangers from the road 

+ relatively fun and friendly working environment.

+ if work starts at 7, wake up at 6.45am. still early.

vs.

where as in airport, everything is flat. Public holiday no public holiday. peak no peak. it'll be like $6/hr and for every 7hr, u -1hr work pay for ur assumed break taken (even though u may work through ur break time) so for 7-4pm today, i'd be getting a total of $56. 

- airport parking of $1.20. ok la. count as $1.

- lunch of about $4.  (may be more if no time to go T2 and eat.)  $6

= approx $49

+ emotional stress when dealing with unreasonable people. probabl #1 issue since pay is low.

+ backache, legs damn shagged.

+ relatively nice working environment

+ if work starts at 7, must be there by at least 6.45am. wake up time= 6.15am.

BUT.  its a comparison based on today. 

BUT BUT.  $121 vs $49 ..... its like a 263% increase ok. 

so if u wanna do the output input ration thing, its like about 3:1 can.

i've got lotsa nice photos of the sky. but i'll just post the few that i've uploaded to fb.

i  mean i get the qns (always)... 

"why here when u have a degree". - coz i'm studying a diploma now. 

"why study again?" - coz i dont want business and i want to go into engineering.

so, that equates to = studying full time, working part time to attempt to self-sustain + school fees coz i dun have a financially rich family nor a rich boyfriend that i could live off him.

and y these 'down to earth' jobs; jobs that dont pay well which involves hard effort? (with a fact and social identification-tag that i'm a degree-holder) i mean come on, which job is high paying with low effort? (hahas. striked that out coz i rmbr working as a temp staff in MOE. it was like that literally. in fact, i was doing my own things in my 85% free time in the office) hahas.

for me, its the experience. ppl always say that. but in my context, i mean experience to see the world and meet with different kinds of ppl in different kinds of setting, from different kinds of world.

that's why, i've done dispatching, a field technician that goes around all shops in SG (really NSEW of sg that one), and mac delivery. its like meeting ppl from all walks of life; office/business ppl, frontline customer service line, housewives/ family-ish ppl respectively. plus, i love riding! i get to ride more at the expense of someone else's time. and with a job in the airport, u get in touch with the rest of the world, literally. and when doing flights, u can get to notice different people cultures, and yet similar and unique to each its own.

but i guess the bottom line is : effort.

i probably want to learn that money is not easy to come by and start understanding the value and appreciating the essence of it.

u know, i can easily cheat it off taking up all the photography jobs presented to me. so highly paid. but of course, ur work must be awesome la. 

one of the reason for declining 80% of them is mainly due to this reason (and of course the other reason is coz i need more confidence, self-belief in myself and be more pro at it) 

but of course, i'm tired.

but i should be mindful, not to let it affect my grades. it has affected my studies coz i tend to be very tired in class and that's when the mind goes restless. but ultimately, its the exam that counts right. so yea. and more importantly, i cannot let money be a driving factor or something that's centric in my life. i find myself becoming more calculative when money is involved. i dun think its a bad thing, but i think there should be a fine line to draw between being calculative and thrifty. knowing better at giving and expecting nothing in return, than receiving. 

hahas. check out my self-surgery on my 2nd toe. issit called the index toe? hahas.

*VIEWERS DISCRETION*

looks painful right. but actually, its like 1% pain only. the rest of the 99% goes to the strength to tolerate being gross with ur toe. the v painful phase was like the very next day after the toe became black from all the running. then u start to get used to the pain and it dies down.

perhaps i need to be wrong to be right

Here I Am (Cover)

Here I am by Shawn Mcdonald

my first proper recording

hahahhas. (: 

5 layers in total.

ok. ignore the voice and the irritating violin. 

secretly like the self-made catchy piano riff. 

i dont really know how to balance the song. but whatever. i enjoy it. (: hahas

the conspiracy

ahas. y the title? coz some of my classmates are super into it, hitting almost every vids about it on youtube during lesson. its only when they're quiet and serious.


yea and i realized,
because my network of friends is relatively large, it makes me think tt everyone who's like born in the 1988 till 1990 have some link with me in some form or another la.
now that all the uni's orientation camps have ending, and all the adding of friends on FB begin, i really see too much coincidences. freaks me out to an extent.

and also.

last night's dream was epic.


just when i thought that i'm over u, u're back in my head again.

for the past few posts, i dun rmbr blogging about u. and in fact, i really thought that i could finally end this on going 6-yrs torment. maybe i really gotta start identifying the scar and manage it rather that trying so hard to remove it coz it'll nv go away.



anyway.
the dream was too ironically real.
it started off with some gathering and someone's house.
then finally, u came up to me and said u wanted to talk to me. (its something that i've always dreamed of in real life. i really need u to clear this) but u didn't look like u. u said that u're u. but u don't look like u. and its weird coz after some answering some of my validation questions, it felt like i was talking to you (though still, u dont look like u in the dream.)
(i can't really rmbr the content now. i rmbred it clearly after i woke up this morng. but didn't have time to blog it down. haiya!) so we went up some hdb flat, almost the rooftop 1 or 2 levels down. and we sat on the edge, hanging our legs down in the cool night breeze, finding ourselves talking h2h stuff.
all i rmbr was clarifying everything up. i was crying alot in the dream coz i thought finally things cleared up after all the painful clarification and we could finally be good friends again.
and then towards the end of the dream, the real u appeared.

i kenna conned.
tmd. i rmbr thinking like how and what in the world would be so deceivingly true.... as in like... how did this guy manage to know everything about the r/s between him and i, and fish out every information. it was abit confusing. then i had this theory that maybe u colluded with tt stranger to hurt me or smth or perhaps, just to understand me. idk why and what, but hurt me alot. i wanted to seek some answers.

idk how to explain. but it was like... major scammed big time. all my tears and opening of my heart was to a deceiver yet again.


i woke up at 745am. 30mins earlier.
so i went back to slp and try to continue on the dream. (normally in my case, 80% of the time, it happens successfully). but all i rmbr was searching or something that i dont even know what i was searching for.


yea. that's about it.
i'm kinda tired and i wanna slp. gd nite.

thankful

ivic called for riders to work during hari raya coz the shortage of riders. hahahahas

so next wk, gonna work likka boss.
i'm gg try and squeeze in my cisco job somehow somewhere.

combo max out. HAHHAHAS

though i know full time study part time work is gg to be challengingly cool, #challengeaccepted.
not only $$$$.
but the feeling of trading free time for work = $$$
and of course, to fully understand the logic that money is hard earned and not easy to come by.


hahas. so u see. mother poon, how to squeeze in time for boyfriend like that?
sch from 9-5. then its either trng or wrk from 6-10pm.
wkends are burnt for the league + working in the hours that i'm not sleeping.
where got time and $$ to go pak-tor.



i'm thankful as it is.


and thankful for my highly lame T3 colleagues.
its quite weird to call them colleagues coz we're like close friends with so much internal jokes.
we're the bros man.
hahas. and of course, i miss doing gates with them, whining to them after every terrible flight. ahhahas.

through the glass

bah.

i miss ballet.

not my thing. but its my alter ego and something to get away from the world.

went peninsula today to look for safety boots of the upcoming practical.

its really a place that defines me.

basement: all the guitars.

level 1: all the photography

level 2: Canterbury store.

level 3 and above: all my fav sporting stuff.

kinda like my life right. 

lazy to elaborate. go figure if u wish. hahas.

i did something nice to someone a few days ago for his bday.

i think i shouldnt have. but i dont want to overthink. as a friend, i like my friends to be happy.

though i was super duper tired from the exam, i was still (surprisingly) able to find that kind to strength to put in such effort. 

the knee has been good.

the calves are tight.

and the thighs are burnt.

and......

hahas. who needs nail polish when u can have them done naturally? ahahs.

abit gross. hahas. to my future boyfriend, get pass this first yea. HAHAS.

but ok. abit suffering. i guess my once rugged feet, rested from 4 months has become so dainty and too delicate for my rugby boots again.

now its back HARDCORE STYLE YOW. 

hahas. and meanwhile in class, while a commando sits back at 45 deg on the right too this photo. he who's probably buffer than an ordinary singapore rugger, doesn't pay attention in class. owns a pink highlighter, shrieks likka girl when he comes to face with a stretched out rubberband. 

class hasn't been good.

some lecturers just........... forget it.

but i just want to commend mr. wong. probably the top 5 most patient teacher in my life. so old, but he can so patiently teach and explain complicating concepts to the class w/o getting irritated.


and some students......
those who sits right infront of the screen are either sleeping, playing with their phones 24/7 or watching vids with their earpiece on. i think its fine. but i guess, if u've got the other 15 over students on the other side of the classroom who's trying to pay attention coz they can't see the screen, maybe u might want to do some seating arrangement for the benefit of both sides.

and i'm not exaggerating.
really half the class who's infront of the screen are like that and the other half is really trying hard.
really.
forget it.
i'm so tired of trying to make the best out of everyone's situation. and because some ppl really can't really grow up in their thinking, i can only do so much. honestly, i dont feel good about calling ppl childish or immature... but if u're finding difficulties passing ur exam, maybe u might want to take some corrective actions and seek some answers rather than......... doing otherwise. (i wanted to type out the really childish things that ppl do... but then i realized, too much to type. so forget it)
and just fyi, those ppl are older than me.
i mean i'm not all prefect and all. but there's a time to study and time to play. its not like the tchr dont give us frequent tea breaks / random smoke breaks.



but of course, thank God for the minority few who, though may be struggling with those teenager-ish probs, are still understanding and respectful towards each other. u know, i've got a friend who's 20 and he's got a loving wife and a son. if i'm in his shoes, i'd probably be damn bloody stressed and freaking out and maybe too screwed in my life. but if u look and how he manages his stuff, his perspective of life and all, i think its really a lesson to learn for all.


but at the end of the day, i always remind myself to look at the good side of things.
always remember that when one is happy, its easy to take on a brighter outlook.. the challenge comes when one is struggling; how does one find the sunshine in the midst of the storm. the sun is always present, whether we bother to take up that courage and seek some form of strength is all up in the mind.
we can't change what is presented to us. but we can change our view on what's infront of us.





management.
everything is about managing the differences made by (unnecessary) comparisons.

borderline

Happy 47th Birthday Singapore!

Happy 47th Birthday Singapore!

i'm proud to be a Singaporean.

though others may have their perspectives and judgements about our small growing country, be it good or bad, i'm still proud to be part of it. 

Social Studies may have been works of propaganda for PAP when we're in our pri/sec school days; but it has taught us to be grateful to our forefathers. facts on singapore's limited natural resources and all can't be credited nor disregarded, but it has taught us to fight for what we need to grow, for what we deserve. it has taught us the need to be hardworking, to only prosper from the fruits of our labour.

and for that social scam....

whoever that started the false news spread that LKY's passed away... whatever. but it's through all these massive amounts of positive twitter and fb status updates about he's appearance during NDP, its actually heart-warming and good to know that we all love MM Lee. probably the top 10 most respected living man on earth in my opinion, not just a national history maker, but a world-wide most respected figure. have read some stuff about him, how ppl writes about him, the decisions he had made, but whatever it is, look at where our country is today. #noregrets. somebody has to do it.

watching the NDP now, looking at how the president inspects the contingent and talking to random soldiers, i always rmbr how father poon would comment "the guy now must be shitting in his pants and act steady". HAHAHAHHS. and looking at all the military defense forces in singapore, still very much inspired to be part of the scdf / airforce one day.

watching all the weapons, tanks, planes and soldiers is probably my all-time fav from NDP,  even since young.

i still rmbr when i was in primary sch  when the song is 'Home' was first introduced.

This is home, truly, where i know i must be.

where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flow.

i still rmbr sitting down at the carpark during morning assembly. we're singing that song.. and i actually teared and then cried. ahhas. i was only p5/p6. and also another time during the afternoon assembly in the hall. hahahahs. i think my friends thought i was mad or gg through some family shit. ahhas. but no la. hahas. #no1patrotic.

this is where i wont be alone

for this is where i know i home.

even now as the song starts to play on tv, i can feel some feelings stirring in my heart. idk why that song means quite a bit to me, probably more than i can imagine. ahhas.

maybe for another yr that i've grown older. 

more patriotic. 

more willing to die for my country if need to.

and more grateful.

and with all the external pressing pressures that other countries are currently facing now, thank God i'm in Singapore. excellent location on the map, being protected by our neighbouring countries from natural disaters. and also thanks to our grateful, kiasu and kiasee bilateral international relationships, we're on safer grounds. (:

and of course, not forgetting Raffles who founded the island.
though it was just a discovery of the small island during ur adventure, it has been one for the greatest moment for the lives of many. and thank u for ur effort and ur management skills. must have been tough on u to try and promote social cohesion with ppl of different coloured skins of different demands, w/o having twitter or fb to vent out ur frustrations.
u've been one cool ang-moh. so thank you.

this shot was from the World Universade last yr in Shenzhen during the Opening ceremony.

this is kangwei, one of the gymnast representing Singapore. (:

i like this shot.

ok. on a random note...

Bought this ytd! $234 that comes with a popfilter.  Audio Technica AT2020 usb condenser mic. it's probably the best mic for a semi-pro category. and with that, my month's wages are gone with it and i've got to work harder. hahahah.

i hope this better be worth it! (:

TGFT

Thank God for Tuesday!


happy coz its fun touch day!


once again, i'm proud of myself.
gymmed from 530-630pm. really all out. shoulders and quads. but abit irritated by the guy who keeps hogging the big bar for at least 45mins. dammit.
then went down to TP, did some sprints with the girls.

played fun touch.
not that many girls today though! ):
then then, i did more fitness with the current team. i like the whistle fitness. coz it was so much easier as compared to Black's whistle fitness. ahhahas. her one got some jog for recovery. Blacks one is just whack all the way. so because it was managable, i was able to push abit more.

then, played more game.
then ice bath.
then (:



oh yes. one of my closer rugger commented that i've got good burst.
i thought he was sarcastic abt it coz i believe that i'm still trying hard to get my speed, fitness and agility back. but then he told me, no, serious. then 2 of the other friends agreed.
seriously, i felt very encouraged and happy.
because for all these months, it was about the knee and quads man.
(: so for that, thank you. hahas


i'm still trying to keep in my mind to make my comeback hard, stronger and faster.
i'm starting with the touch league in 3 more wk time and definitely, i want to be conditioned for it. i'm playing 2 categories some more and i DO NOT want to start the whole physio part again. really.




i hope this touch league can train me up for contact.
i'm still pretty much in doubt if i'm able to go in harder. i want to be fearless in my tackles and really make them count. my previous contact life was very sad and depressing. i hope the whole knee thing is like a good time for me to start all over again. make my comeback stronger.  i'm really looking forward and also to change my mentality about being afraid and hesitant especially when it comes to trng. sometimes, before trng, i've got lotsa fears that i've not got them settled out. i hope i'm ready for trng for the 15s man! (:


oh and btw.
i think deep inside, i cannot give Ballet up.
i'm gg to train even harder to go back into Ballet. i'm gg to defy some medical analysis and to prove that it's all wrong and overestimated! hahas
so for all u folks who think that ballet isn't that tough, it is.
i reckon that ballet is as tough as rugby or even tougher. different kind of fitness. for ballet, u gotta have the poise and balance, managing speed and grace at the same time. for rugby, if u're tired, u can really choose to sub out. but for ballet, u gotta train to endure the whole dance. and even if u're damn tired, u still gotta go through the whole process with a graceful sincere smile on ur face. no one is gg to, or able, to sub for u.
for rugby, just go.
for ballet, u gotta have that mental control.
and for rugby, u can use all the tape and guards, but for ballet performance/exam purposes, if u're injured, u can't use such aids unless ur costume allows u to do so. so that's pretty much no way out but to condition urself till u're 100% able to execute all ur moves.







okok. today.
late for sch.
first time late. 9:06am.
i'n not not happy because of my attendance and all... but more so to like how i discipline myself.
i really think that whether one hears or no hear alarm clock, it's about how discipline u want ur life to be. period.

hahas. coz last night, one of my long lost eye-candy fb chat with me. though it was relatively late and i was damn tired... i didn't want to be the one to leave the conversation. hHAHAHAHHAHAHHS. stupid me. OH WELLS.
short-lived, but worth it. hahahhas. dammit.

ok.


let me explain why i was late.
i had a dream last night. an epic one. so clear and detailed.
it all started.....



a scene in this huge cargo lift.
it felt like abit like the movie: Wolverine, the Origins... the place where his body was added in adamantium. the cargo life was like huge ass. all green patterned. different shades of green. i was in the lift with (a super random person in my life) aishya. HAHAHSH. in real life, i'm not that close to her. she's the coach of one of the other touch club in sg. she took over one of the fitness sessions when i was in poly yr 2. she coached our junior team then for a short period of time. and that's about it. hahas. so for her to appear in my dream, it was damn random.

anyway. she was sort of like the narrator for the dream. the one guiding me through.
okok. so in the lift i rmbr telling her "wah, this lift so big, nice and arty-farty. do a model shoot here, with a 10-22mm (camera lens) would be great)". HAHHAS. how detailed. ikr.
finally reached. was quite a journey. as the hugeass door opened to the basment level, i was in this underground hospital. what a hollywood moment i tell you. ahhahs.
all the docs were busy treating the very sickly patients. all the patients seemed to be in critical condition, hanging on to their lives or some sort.

the scene felt like a the basement carpark of CGH, being modified into a makeshift ICU.
i managed to catch hold of one of the docs and had a good conversation with him while he was working on an elderly man. i asked him why all these underground movements, and isn't he afraid that all his yrs of studying and hardwork might go down the drain if he's caught by the police?
this is what he roughly told me,
"i want to save lives. all these ppl can't afford the hospital bills. paperwork takes too long. they might not make it. though its risky, its worth the fight. the government fail to see the critical need of time and space. though it's legally wrong, but i believe that every life saved here, is one family saved."

wah piang.
hahahas. in my dream can. how heroic.
so as i explored, right in the middle, there were a few ppl setting up stalls for food/entertainment. it was pretty much likka pasar-malam scence. ahhas. damn wierd. it was about evening 630-ish. and the reason why they set up is to encourage the docs, and ppl who fight for what's worth believing in.

then across the corner of my eye, i saw a door ajar. the colour of the current scene was really darkish, rustic and with occasionally spurts of algae. the small view through the half-opened door felt like one of the medically very clean walkway of the specialist clinic of CGH, specifically, clinic K, the specialist for my knee (in real life). ahahhahahs. nurses in the room/scene of the ajar door seemed to know about these whole underground hospital thing. it seemed that though they are turning a blind eye to illegal doings, i felt that they were protecting it by keeping a good watch and lookout for police. their like the camouflage system to ensure that all's taken care of.

i even think that they are the one who secretly smuggle out hospital supplies to fund the underground hospital. ahhas.. as i continued out, i saw 2 young and handsome sporty looking doctors. (for some reason, they look like those hwa chong grad who furthre got their medicine deg via NUS) ahhas. probably trainees. they were sitting on those waiting-for-ur-turn kinda seats that's aligned just beside the door that's left ajar. i walked towards them and asked the same question that i asked the doctor. i can't really rmby what they say.. but something like "for the experience, dont mind getting caught, still young, still many way out, many possibilities..." along those lines. it was short-live, and i turned my head to look at this clock on the wall....

it was 8:44am.
i stared at it for a looong time and seemed to be trying to recall something.....and then........
i realized i've just woke up, looking at my clock that really says 8:44am. still thinking what day issit, what's going on.... it took me about 30 sec to figure out that ytd was monday coz i was aching from my physio appt and hence, making today tuesday.


ahhahas. so yes, i sprung out of my bed, killed the alarm clock and reached sch at 9:06am.




hahhahahahhahas.



i think the dream is really epic. and too detailed to be a dream to be ignored.
it felt that i was very clear headed throughout. i didn't really know why i was inside and for what reason, but everything was executed out in a very precarious way.
hahas. really. and everything seemed so logically right. hahahs. nothing like those man-in-black-suits chasing u and stuff or monsters jumping through ur windows kind. ahhahas.






yup ok. thanks for sharing my dream with me. hahas.
nite.

sbq

some stuff i posted today on instagram.
probably 2 good photos to describe my life now.

 (:

 gg through that phase, it has thought me a retrospective view of other ppl's life-phase in my shoes.

today's a gd day coz i said so

worked from 7am - 8pm

because of a spanking good lunch at my #1 secret Poon hideout- T2 STAFF CANTEEN, *inserts holy majestic bg music* the day was good.

what's even better.. NEW WESTERN STALL. cheap. the vongole pasta's (pic below) $3.80.

Round 1 was my fav hokkien mee from my fav hokkien mee stall. it's was where i ate my FIRST plate of char kway teow and fell in love with it when i was in primary school.

this was Round 2. 

its sunday. just let me be. HAHAHHS

i saw 3 friends today! actually 2 only. 1 was rachel's dad. rachel poon to be exact. its probably been about 14 yrs since he saw me. i checked his passport and said "eh! same surname!..... u look familiar!" and he just smiled and said "maybe just another sg face". then after he walked away with about 10 steps, then i rmbred that it's rach's dad! hahahas

it was a common gate.

so 2 flights were on gg. then on the other flight, i saw Thila! my physio! hahahs.

i knew she was flying from T3 today. but didn't know so coincidental that amongst ALL the other flight that i could have been assigned to, i assigned to her flight. many things could go against this favour, but in e end, we just met! (: hahahas

3rd one, i saw ms Marian on the passport. ahhas

damn chio lady. from Qatar i suppose. 

so i was like eh! same name! and we strike off a good short conversation. hahahhas.

towards the end of a long and tiring wkend shift,  sunset is always rewarding. i thank God that i'm was posted to working in T3. its open window concept, so when it comes to sunrise sunset moments, the airport literally turns golden. (:

actually i've got quite a few friends working in the airport! apart from all the avso staff, there's one 2 from CAG, 1 from duty free, 1 from TCC. HHAHHAS. i think there might be more! will find out more i guess. ahahas. (:

after work. though i was super tired, but i felt the strong urge to go cycling. those long night cycling kind. maybe coz i wanted to ride down to old airport road because of my severe craving for Lao Ban Tau Huay. but OH WELLS. some things are just not meant to be. HAHAHS. 

coz then, i rmbred that i'm having my day one of a girl's red day. ): tmd

no fun to cycling when everything else is dry but ur butt is wet. hahahhahhahahas. 

quite funny ah. i realized that for sportspoon to hit her period, i'm not likka emo.  it seems like i'm only emo when i'm not having my period which is like 3 wks out of 4?! AHHA. okok. whatever. i honestly think that its 20% biological and 80% psychological. 

so in the end, i went home and decided to......

MAKE MUSIC. hahahas

'A' FOR EFFORT PLS.

to set up is always the first step. the first difficult step. coz setting it up, means spending time to pack. ugh.

my rooom is too small and not sound friendly. so i hijacked my sis' room and her superb sound system. see the black square box there, its some bass booster thing i think. and behind the screen is actually 2 more speakers. i'm still trying to figure how to activate her dual surround system installed by father poon. its damn sad coz my room got no such facilities. and as of typing this now, i'm listening music through just these 3 black speakers while high up on ALL FOUR CORNERS of the room, there's like a grey speaker each on each corner (that's like x4, just fyi), and an additional grey one in the middle. (sorry, lazy to take photo of it) so that's 5 speakers, on the wall to produced one dual surround system. Y FATHER POON NO MAKE ONE FOR ME! ): for that, its another reason for y he left me too early. if really need to, maybe just give him like 10 more yrs. just saying. hahahs. no la. i'm sure he's happy up there and laughing at how i'm suffering w/o his handyman skills and his SIA engineering relations.

i reached home around 930pm. not much time left. hahas.

and since its late, with my horrendous violin skills, i think i should not even attempt.

but i'm starting to hate this current song. its actually an attempt to re-make the remake of Here I Am by Shawn Mcdonald during coffeeshop 2008. u know how u keep listening to ur fav song, it becomes a song that u'll skip on shuffle mode if ever it should start playing again.

ya.

 ok la. really thank God today. able to work, able to have some me time. (:

here's the 2008 one during coffeeshop. quite a lot mistakes. and considering it was my 2nd wk of exploring the violin and first (and probably the last time) ever singing into a mic infront of an audience, i think i should be proud of myself la. hahahas. i was suppose to be playing the guitar man. until i discovered peter moey's cuii violin which he let me fiddle with it. ahhhas.
but then again, this was the song that made me believe that i could do more with a violin though songs from Yellowcard where the first ones to inspire me to rock out with the violin. others are like The Corrs and Bond (which is of a level too high #Levelimpossible). ahhahhas.

face the music

because finally mother poon not at home, i can make music.
(only for a short period of time. ): )

and damn it. damn rusty.

literally. the violin was super squeaky. no matter how much i try to clean it and add the rosin or smth, it still sounded reluctant. hahahhas. used to be #likkapro while mimicking songs on yellow card / youtube all. and now, trynna play a scale is like trying to write with ur left hand when u're a right hander. 

yea. and since i've changed the strings to dunohowmany xxxxlight strings while in thailand, its soooo light that it goes off pitch coz of the high bridge. damn lazy to go do something about it. and also, why the xxxxxxlight strings over a more crunchier sound is coz of the freezing morngs we always have in thailand up in the mountains.

those misty morng team devotions and coooooold-near-freezing-point nights are not so friendly on the fingers. even pitch-perfect dr. Peter (who is really a doctor, a GP) and also holding some majors in a few musical instrument would occasionally whine about not being able to feel his fingers and strings anymore. ahhasa. he's always THE life-saver for me. whenever he's there, i'll always gladly pass the guit to him before the team-leader starts to assign. i like it how when the villagers starts to sing off key by deviating away from the original key as a unified congregation, and peter moey can just play the chords accordingly. even if its in some Eb Bb key. can't find anything that's musically impossible for him. 

even when gg to a music shop with him in thailand, he'd just pick some some instrument and play. any kind. every kind. even those made of coconut husk with a few metal pieces... give him about a min and he'll figure out.

he's that pro.

i rmbr gg to the violin shop at kembangan plaza (i think) and buying my violin with him. he started playing the harp and harmonizing with on of the customers who's playing the piano. it was so super pro, that it attracted a crowd. hahahhahas. seriously. should post some pics here when i have the time.

btw, my violin's probably the best buy. i got it at $330 and he says that they might have judged and priced it wrongly. he thinks its worth at least $700 and a believable $1k. HAHA. SHIOK AH. tan tiao ttm.

oh yes.

and he makes a hybrid of instruments at home. likka guitar strings on pipa. making electric er-hus and portable cello. ok. its really a long list, many things i wanna share about how i am in-awe of him and i should speed up.

ok. back to my regret of the day.

#1 regret: not saving the layers that i've recorded back in 2008. 

once i compiled them with the awesome Windows Movie Maker then, i felt (: that i deleted everything but the final product.

now there's Garageband...... REGRET TTM.

ahahhas. how irritating. 

the only way out, perhaps is to start practicing and start comitting time for God in service; which now proves to be an opportunity cost.

i do wanna go church on sunday. but that would mean  not being able to work the 1st morng 7-12 shift. in my opinion, that's probably the best shift to work. generally in the morng, passengers are not that angsty and they can't really be bothered to be unreasonable with you.

speaking of which. its 2:20am now and i should crash. 

i thank God for today though. being able to spend time with the poons.

its been too long shopping and dinnering tgt.

i miss my dad and how dinner is always just for the 3 of us with an empty seat to put our bags.

kthxbye.

tight time

see! i'm right.


once we get older and move into the working working, with more responsibilities, its becoming more impossible to take out time to spend with nature. hahas


though i'm not officially in that phase of life now that i'm a student at ATTC, my friends are.
right now, i'm planning a caving and rafting trip. i've been there before. it was fun and i want my friends to experience the fun adventure i had so i'm doing this out of kindness and care can.
so pls man, CONFIRM SOON.
its not a flagataxi kinda thing. transportation need to be booked in advance and all ok. ):



and i'm saving up for it. for something that i've been too! ):
hahas. i mean i can use the money and go pengerang to do the motorcross that i've always wanted to do, but i'm putting it on hold for u guys.
so pls! make my life easier. thankuverymuch.



hahas.
yea.



like i always tell myself and others around, now that we're young and still with responsibilities that are immediate to ourselves, we should take this opportunity as a youth to go and do the things we wanna do. i mean some others tell me to work hard earlier and faster, earn more money and retire early. but retirement at 55/65? by then, still can go motorcross, climb mountains in nepal, diving and all mehs! i mean still can la i hope. but by then, u might have a family to be worried about u. y put urself in that situation man.


so now, for me is work hard part-time to get enought $$$ to do the things u wanna do.
but of course, by 30 yrs of age, u should more or less be settled down and be good.